I slammed my locker door shut with a tear in my eyes. My friend Anna came up to me.
“What’s wrong?”
“You didn’t hear about Hanna?”
“No. What happened?”
“She killed her self.” I said pushing my hair back.
“Oh no….” I fell into her arms in tears. I looked at the locker next to mine. #33, Hanna’s locker. Taking the spare key out of my bag, I unlocked her locker.
“Look at this…” I pulled a picture of her and her boyfriend, Brandon, off of the shelf, “They were so happy together…”
“I know… Why would she do that?”
“I don’t know!! All I got was a text and then… nothing.” I said.
“She was so important to people.”
“You should’ve told her that….. You know. BEFORE SHE DIED!!!”
“I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW UNTIL THIS MORNING!! And I’m betting you didn’t know until she text you last night! Did you?”
“No.. But if I did know I would’ve stopped her.”
“You? You would’ve stopped her?”
“I would’ve tried.” The bell rang.
“We better go.”
“Yeah. See you later.”
“Ok.”


I was one if the first into 1st period algebra again. I was in there for all of 10 seconds. Then the principal walked in.
“Can I have Kelsey, Mr. Williams?”
“Yes. Kelsey, you need to go.”
I stood up and followed him. But what was I going say….??

“So you were the only one Hanna contacted before she died. Correct?”
“Yes. As far as I know, I am.”
“Do you know why she…. Did this?”
“No.”
“Someone has to know.”
“Well don’t look at me!! I don’t know anything! She text me and then… Nothing! I don’t know! All I know is I lost my best friend. And I am not dealing with this well! SHE’S DEAD! THAT’S ALL I KNOW!” I stormed out of his office and through the hallways.
“Kelsey!!” He kept yelling at me as we ran through the hallways.

It only made me want to go faster. I saw the open door to the janitor's closet. Perfect place to hide. I slammed the door and threw myself against the wall. I slid down.
"What am I doing? Why didn't I say something before she died. I should've been more careful... Why did I run away. I should've stayed and listened. I really have to listen to someone. Maybe I should listen to God... I knew no one was watching so I started to pray.
"God.... I don't know why Hanna chose to leave this earth. But I do know that you loved her. Please be with her family and friends. Help them through this. God, Help ME through this.... It's really hard to know your bestfriend isn't around anymore. I miss her... Just please help me to be strong...for my friends. Please..... Amen" I threw my head back and smashed it against the wall.
"I better get to class.."

I looked at her. So pale and lifeless. I made the mistake of glancing at the pictures. I stared at the one of her an I. Her hair was so long, mine so short. I skimmed through the pictures but stopped on one of her and Brandon. but she wasn't smiling. she was staring off into the distance. she had something on her mind. I looked at the date 6-22-10, five days before she died. I turned and looked at Brandon. He seemed overcome with depression As I walked over to him, thoughts flooded my mind. What if he was the cause? What if he said something that made her feel useless? hat if it was him?
"Hey Brandon."
"Hey Kelsey."
"You wouldn't know why she died? Why she did what she did?"
"No..... Why would i know?"
"Well you were kinda her boyfriend. You would think you would know."
"I DON'T KNOW!! JUST BECAUSE I WAS HER BOYFRIEND DOESN'T MEAN I KNOW!!!"
"I was just asking."
"I'm sorry...."
“Whatever..” I walked off.I walked out of the Funeral Home in tears. Cause this would be the last time i would ever see Hanna again..

It had been a week since Hanna died. I was finally starting to act normal again. But today we had to clean out her locker. Yeah, that didn't go over well for me.

As I pushed her things into her bag, I came across something strange. It was a journal entry. It said,
"I think Kelsey is mad at me. I haven't talked to her for 5 days now.... I know something’s up. But what really bugs me is Brandon hasn't talked either." I stared at it. Brandon said that she didn't talk to HIM. Things were really getting weird... I looked through the scrapbook she had left on the top shelf of her locker. I saw so many pictures. So many pages filled with pictures from our childhood.I looked Through The scrapbook she had left on The top shelf of her locker. I saw so many pictures. So many pages filled with pictures from our childhood. Pictures of her 7th birthday party. Me smashing cake in her face, her fighting back. Us at a sleepover, me pulling a prank on her. Our 13Th birthday parties, The biggest ones we had. There was one of my favorite pictures in it. It was a warm autumn afternoon. We had on our identical outfits. We were laying in a pile of leaves, freshly raked. Our hair was messed up we were laughing and the light was centered just right to make us glow. I cried when I saw it. It was the day after I turned 14, one of the best days we had ever had. I asked the principal if I could keep the scrapbook. He nodded, and told me to put it into my locker. As I walked to my locker I ran into Hanna's sister, Lilac.
"Oh, hi Lilac."
"Hi Kelsey..."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm ok... You?"
“I’m working on it..”
“I know what you mean.”"Yeah. Well, I gotta go finish cleaning out Hanna's locker..."
"Yeah, I'll see you later."
"Tonight. I'll bring her stuff by."
"Okay! See you then."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye!" She walked away. I put the book in my bag and snuck back out. I finished Hanna's locker and put her bag in my locker, and walked slowly back to Algebra, hardly ready to face the world. I knew I had to eventually, so I walked in with a weak smile on my face. Something didn't feel right, though

I sat in the hospital chair, rocking back and forth. I was crying.
"Honey, do you want to see her?" I stood up at the voice of my other aunt. Walking in, I wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Hi Aunt Christi..."
"Hi Kelsey..." She said weakly.
"Thank you for waiting until I could see you, to leave."
"I couldn't leave without saying good bye..." She smiled a bit.
"I love you." I said hugging her.
"I love you too, dear." And with that, I watched her close her eyes and leave me. It took me a while to realize what happened. But when I did, the first thing I looked at was the heart meter, flat lined. I breathed in deeply, and looked at her. I cried almost immediatly after that. I ran out of the room, and into the street. I thought about standing there until a car came along. But I knew that wasn't what God wanted.
"If God didn't want ME to die, why did he just take one of the most important people in my life!?!?" I stared at the sky, anger filling my heart.
"I thought you said you loved me! Taking the most important person in the world from me is not love!!! That is hate! I thought you weren’t capable of hate! Maybe I was wrong to follow you... Maybe I'm better off on my own..." I dropped to my knees and cried. This was the worst possible thing right now....

I had been having a really hard time as it was, loosing Hanna. But then I loose my aunt too!?!? Oh man, how much more do I have to go through...? I slammed my bedroom door when I got home from school 3 days after my aunt died. I was in tears within 10 seconds. I threw myself on the bed.
"Why did she have to leave me fully alone?"
'You're never alone." I heard a man's voice speaking to me.
"Who's there?"
"Who do you think, Kelsey?"
"WHO IS IN MY ROOM!?!" I was freaking out.
"Kelsey. No one else can hear me. I am speaking to YOU, and you alone."
"How come no one can else can hear you?" I said as I wrapped my arms around my legs.
"Because, I am not talking to them."
"No way... Are you who I think you are?"
"I am."
"You're God....."
"Yes, my child. Now tell me, why did you ever leave me?"
"Because you took my aunt away! First I loose Hanna, and then my aunt! I loved her you know!!"
"I love her too. I love all my children. Even when they don't love me back. That's why I took her. Because she loved me, and knew when i chose to take her, she would be taken. It was her time, my child.""Even though I didn't love you... You loved me anyway?"
"Of course. I will always love you.."
"I'm so sorry for saying what I did. I was so upset..."
"I know you were. I will always forgive a truly broken heart."
"I am broken.." I said crying.
"I know. You are forgiven, my child." Then there was only silence.I had just talked with God. I was truly a Christian now.

Today I am a full Christian. I have lived my life for God for almost a year now. I have another friend who wants to die, but i told her the story and she turned around her life. I have told a lot of people about the story, very few do not believe me. Many that I have talked to I have seen in my youth group more often now.

As for Brandon, I found out a whole lot. He had told Hanna she was useless and unwanted. Well that triggered the thoughts of suicide. But what really took her to the end, was that Brandon didn't talk to her after that. She knew she had other friends, but if she didn't have Brandon, she was useless. She never knew God. I wasn't a Christian when this all happened. Brandon still doesn't care that his girl-friend has been dead for over a year now. But you now how boys who don't care are!!