River 

“River!” I shot upright, hearing the familiar voice shout my name, as I desperately gasped for air.

My heart pounding inside of my chest; my fingertips cold and shaky, yet my palms dripping with sweat. The sensation of a hand resting on my lower back, moving in small circles, attempting to comfort me. A nightmare. Again. I shifted quickly in my bed, my body turning, and meeting the forest green eyes belonging to the man next to me. 

“Dad,” I whimpered, struggling to get out any words, as tears pooled into my eyes, and began flowing freely down my cheeks. 

My father adjusted to sit against the headboard, pulling me into his lap. He wrapped an arm around my waist, the other draped across my legs. My head rested in the crook of his neck as I allowed myself to release everything- all the emotions- that were built up inside of me. I felt like my skin was on fire, and my face was sticky with a combination of tears and sweat. I could barely make out the supportive and loving phrases my father was whispering to me, over the sounds of my loud and endless sobbing. 

Daniel 

I felt River’s body relax under my touch, which signaled to me she had finally fallen back asleep. I glanced over to the clock, and read 3:43 AM. I had rushed in there around 2, after hearing River’s desperate cries, finding her tossing and turning in her sleep. 

I forced her awake by shouting her name, and was relieved when I saw her forest eyes- just like mine- open. Thankful she was no longer trapped in that tortuous nightmare, but the frightened and alert expression she held was engraved in my memory. 

I rested against the headboard on River’s bed, and held her in my lap. I ran my fingers through her chestnut hair, listening to her steady breathing, as she drifted off to sleep. When she first woke up, I panicked, trying to calm her down, reassure her that her nightmare wasn’t real, but she just continued breaking down in my arms. 

To say I felt awful would be an understatement. My heart felt shattered, watching my daughter, my sweet little girl, so upset over something I had no clue about; something I hold no control over. She kept muttering words in her sleep that I couldn’t quite hear; something along the lines of, “wake up.” I didn’t pressure her to talk about it, and decided to wait until later, as I knew it would only deepen the anxious feeling she already had. 

My body was tense, afraid to fall asleep. I kept my arms wrapped tightly around River’s small frame, as I drifted off to sleep. 

River 

My dad had woken me up just a bit before 7, telling me he was going to work. I sat up, since I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep being home alone, especially after last night. I turned the tv on, searching for something to watch, in an attempt to take my mind off the dreadful nightmare I faced last night. I was afraid for my dad to leave, fearing my nightmare would come true. I couldn’t get the vision out of my head; my father’s figure splayed across the pavement,           blood splattered over his body, as he faded out of consciousness. Desperate to get the thought out of my head, I snatched my phone from the nightstand, facetiming Sage, praying that she was already awake. 

---

I walked down the road, heading over to the Beckham’s house, admiring the warm California summer day. The blazing sun shining brightly in the sky, reflecting against the windows of the many houses along the sidewalk. I combed my fingers through the waves of my hair as I pulled the pair of sunglasses down- from resting on top of my head to resting on the bridge of my freckled nose- blocking the blinding sun from my sight. 

Daniel

I arrived at the station a few minutes late that morning. I hesitated to leave the house, an overwhelming fear that something would happen to River if I left her alone. Before I was able to leave, she pulled me into a hug, where I felt her tightly wrap her arms around my body; tighter than usual, as if it was the last one we would share. I was tempted to call in, but had decided against it. I knew she would likely end up going to a friend's house anyways. 

“Good morning,” a masculine voice pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to face the tall-  6 '4 to be exact- figure in front of me, locking my eyes with his rich, dark brown ones. 

“Morning, Collins,” I responded in a tired voice, quickly turning my attention back to the coffee in front of me. Officer Justin Collins. One of my closest friends within the agency. We first met at the police academy in our early 20s, and we’ve been close ever since. 

“Rough night?” 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” I spoke with a sigh. I assumed he had noticed the dark bags consuming my undereyes, and the tiredness within my voice. His hand brushed up against mine, as he reached over to grab himself a cup. 

“Anything you need to talk about?” I glanced up, once again meeting his gentle gaze, seeing a sympathetic look in his eyes. 

I told him all about Riv’s nightmare, expressing my concern for her. Her mother left six years ago, when she was ten, and if I’m being honest, I’m glad she did. River’s mom was an asshole- I’m sure she still is. She never cared about River; never taking care of her, always blaming Riv for “ruining her life”. Honestly, she just treated her own daughter like sh*t. That woman ruined her childhood, completely wrecked her mental health… I assumed she was to blame for River’s continuous nightmares- fear of abandonment, trust issues, anxiety- but I never really knew for sure. 

River 

I was laying on a chair in front of Sage’s pool, feeling my body heat up under the burning sun. I looked over to Sage, seeing her laid on her stomach, her hair shining a fiery red in the sunlight.

“Hello!” I heard a familiar voice shout, while the sound of hurried footsteps against concrete echoed through the air. Aaron-Joseph Moore. We call him AJ. Sixteen years old, hair color like a raven, standing at about 5’ 8; only an inch taller than me, (though he always tries to convince me otherwise). I’ve known AJ my entire life. We’ve grown up together, since our dads were friends in high school. You could say he’s the popular one in the group. Always cracking jokes, making sure everyone in the group is in a good mood. 

“Hey AJ,” I replied, sending him a smile. 

“Cross,” he said, nodding his head towards me. I spotted Ayden walking towards us, making me stand up and head over to him. 

“Hi Ayden,” I said, laughing at him as he attempted to balance the cooler and the two bags in his hands. AJ had clearly made no effort in helping him. I took the bags filled with snacks from his arm, seeing him sigh in relief. 

“Thank you,” he said, a grin spreading across his face, “that idiot was no help.” 

Ayden Cooper. My other best friend. Seventeen years old and going into senior year. He’s taller than AJ, standing at 5’ 10, with sandy blonde hair. He acts like the ‘tough guy’, but once you get to know him, he’s the sweetest you’ll ever meet. 

We walked over, joining the others by the pool, where the two boys cannonball into the water to recover from the heat. 

Daniel

The vehicle flew down the road, as I stepped on the gas pedal. We had received a call reporting a pursuit in progress; a trio of men reported to have tens of thousands of dollars in stolen items, shot at police officers, and made a getaway. We spotted another police cruiser up ahead, swerving off the road to avoid the spike strip they had laid down. 

I threw my door open, ripping the gun from its holster, and positioning it in my grip, waiting for the car to come into view. The black vehicle was flying up the road, but forced to come to a stop as the front tires were punctured. 

I watched the two men crawl out from the front seats, as the third one left from the back, all attempting to run. The sound of gunfire filled my ears. After what felt like mere seconds, the three were sprawled along the ground, all looking dead- or at least unconscious- as splotches of a red liquid was noticeable on the pavement.

I turned around, but instantly regretted that decision, as I felt something hit my back, pain radiating through my body. A bullet. 

River 

The sun had disappeared behind the gray clouds coating the sky, looking like it was about to downpour any second. Drops had started to fall from the dark clouds, and Ayden offered to drive me home, not wanting me to walk in the rain.

“The cops here?” Ayden spoke sarcastically, since he knew my dad was one himself, and nodded towards the driveway. I turned my head, spotting the vehicle parked with “Alameda Police” written along the side.

“Yeah,” I laughed, “my dad probably forgot something again and stopped to grab it.” I thanked Ayden for the ride, and watched as the car pulled away from the sidewalk. 

As I approached the house, I looked over, expecting to see my father stepping out of the vehicle, but instead I was met with the face of his partner. 

“Justin?” I questioned, “What are you doing here?” 

Justin picked his head up, his gaze shifting from the pavement to meet mine. I immediately noticed his red eyes, seeing his tear-stained face. Fresh tears brimmed his eyes, threatening to fall any second.

“River,” he took a deep breath, trying to control his emotions before speaking. I was terrified, immediately assuming the worst. “Your dad is in the hospital,” I felt my chest tighten, “he was shot.” A feeling absorbed me, as if my heart just shattered. 

Just like my nightmare. 

---

My face was stained with tears that continuously streamed down it, as I sat in the passenger seat. My face felt like it was burning. My heart still clenched as I felt it pounding inside of my chest. Justin sped towards the hospital, as he rushed to explain what happened. 

Thankfully, we soon arrived at the hospital and into the waiting room. I don’t think I could listen to him talk about my dad being shot any longer- the sound of the bullet, the blood pooling on the ground… I felt like I was trapped in my nightmare, once again.

 I struggled to swallow, more tears threatening to spill and nausea consuming my body. 

---

I remained seated in the waiting room, my leg uncontrollably shaking. Justin was sitting next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. 

“Cross? What are you doing here?” 

I lifted my head up to see AJ walking towards me at a fast pace. He held a concerned look on his face, seeing me with tears pouring out of my eyes. He crouched in front of me, reaching his hand up to push my hair away from my face, before pulling me into his embrace and allowing me to let go of all the emotions I was holding in. 

---

I sat in the chair that was positioned next to his bed. Actually seeing my dad, unconscious, in a hospital bed, made the emotions hit me even harder. I noticed the bandage wrapped around the upper half of his body, and the several machines he was hooked up to. The pain in my chest became more and more noticeable. I tightly held onto my dad’s hand with my clammy one, refusing to let go. AJ was in the chair next to me, as Justin was out in the hall talking to AJ’s dad, who worked at the hospital. I had yet to say a word, not trusting my voice, but as I strained to listen to their conversation, I heard several words I wish I hadn’t. 

Daniel

Darkness. That was the only thing I could see. I felt her hand entangled with mine, shaking with anxiety… fear… scared for what would happen. I heard distant voices talking, talking about me. I wanted, so desperately, to squeeze her hand back, reassure her she’s okay, hug her. To wake up. I tried to move my hands, attempting to lift my fingertips. Nothing. 

River

My face felt dry as the tears stopped flowing down my cheeks. My body became exhausted from the constant crying, and it felt as if I was void of any emotion. I sat in the chair, watching my dad as he just laid there. Not talking, not moving. Just laying there. Unconscious. 

I was alone in the room. Justin had headed home after promising to return early the next morning, and AJ had stepped out of the room to call someone. I shifted in the chair, and lifted my head from resting on the bed, to look at my father. 

“Dad,” I whispered, my voice shaky, “Dad… please wake up, Dad. Please.” I repeated the phrase. Over and over again. “You can’t leave me. Mom already left me. You can’t leave me too.” My voice cracked as tears began to flow freely down my face once again. 

I heard the door crack open, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw AJ walk in my direction. 

--- 

It was nighttime. I knew that a nurse would come in soon, to tell me that “visiting hours were now over”, but I didn’t want to leave. I was scared that if I left, my dad would leave too. I was afraid he would slip from the coma, and I dreaded the thought of it. Both of AJ’s parents worked here, so he had stayed, not wanting me to be left alone too long, fearing something might have happened if he did. 

As if on queue, the door opened, revealing a tall woman dressed in blue scrubs. Heather and Chris, both of AJ’s parents, had come into the room several times throughout the day, whether they were checking on my dad or me. 

“Hey you two,” Heather spoke, a sad smile present on her face. She walked over to us, kissing her son on the head before telling him to head to the car. I assumed she wanted to talk to me, or else she wouldn't have sent her son off like that. 

“Hi River,” she spoke in a calming voice, sitting down next to me. Heather was like a mother to me, she practically raised me as her own. I managed to get out a small “hello”, which was almost inaudible. 

“Sweetheart, why don’t you come stay at our house tonight?” I looked over to her, a sympathetic and caring look on her face. “You’re more than welcome to,” and I knew she was being serious. I nodded my head, not wanting to speak as I felt a lump forming in my throat. 

Daniel

Thank you. I had thought to myself. I was so thankful for the Moore family and all that they have done for my family. I knew Riv would be safe with them, I had no doubt about it. 

“I love you Dad. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I love you.” Her voice was quiet, and I could tell she was either crying or on the verge of it. 

I felt her hand hesitantly leave mine. I was surprised she left so easily, if it was me trying to get her to go, she would sure as hell have put up a fight. 

I just needed to wake up. 

River

It had been three days. 

There still hadn’t been any change. And my dad still hadn’t woken up. 

I’d been staying at the Moore’s house since the incident. Ayden drove me to my house earlier to pack a bag of clothes, a charger, whatever I needed. Even though I could still go there, I didn’t want to. Something about being alone in that house, while he was at the hospital, didn’t feel right. 

Honestly, I had been struggling. A lot. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had happened. I tried to distract myself- I watched movies, I tried to sleep my problems away- but nothing worked. I kept to myself- avoiding talking to anyone, unless it was absolutely necessary. I never had a real appetite- half the time, just the thought of eating made me sick. Even though I constantly felt tired, I still couldn’t get myself to fall asleep. I would doze off for short periods of time, but I typically woke up due to the image of his blood-covered body engraved into my mind. 

The constant thought of my dad never waking up. I didn’t want him to leave me. I didn’t want to be left alone, with no parents there to protect me. To take care of me. I already lost my mom when I was younger. I was heartbroken. I never knew why she left me- what I did so wrong that made her leave. 

AJ 

I was concerned for River. I’ve grown up watching the close bond between Riv and her dad. I remember how hurt she was when her mom left- Ayden, Sage and I being the ones who were there to comfort her through it all. I was lucky- I still had both of my parents with me, taking care of me, loving me. I had no idea what it was like to lose someone like that. 

I’ve been best friends with Cross for as long as I can remember. Meaning, I could tell when she was acting differently- when she was upset, tired, not feeling well. I could tell she was struggling right now. I mean she had every right to be- her dad was in the hospital after all. She struggled to eat- only taking a few bites every meal. I tried talking to her, but she was rarely up for a conversation.

I grabbed my phone, scrolling through my contacts, and found Ayden’s name. 

Ayden 

I was at AJ’s house, after he called, asking me to come check on River. We were all concerned for her. We recognized the signs. We knew she was pushing everyone and everything away. I knew it was good for her to have some space after dealing with such a traumatic thing, but at the same time, I didn’t want her to return to her old habits- as it would do nothing except fill her with guilt. 

I walked into the guest room, seeing River laying down. The room was dark, though a small strip of sunlight peeked through the curtain of the window. I walked towards the bed, seeing her eyes open as she stared at the wall. I crouched down next to the bed, brushing her hair away from her eyes. 

“How are you feeling, Riv?” I asked her, only seeing her shrug her shoulders in response. Her eyes glanced up to meet mine, the tears in them becoming noticeable to me. We sat for a few moments, until her voice replaced the silence in the room. 

“I just want a normal life,” she spoke, her voice breaking more with each word. 

Justin 

I sat next to Daniel’s bed, looking towards his unconscious body. It had been three days since the incident, and he still hadn’t woken up. I felt guilty. Like it was my fault he was shot. I knew it wasn’t, that it was the fault of one of the men in the car, but I felt like it was my responsibility- as his partner in the force- to protect him. And I failed to do that. 

I shifted to the front of my chair, reaching over to rest my hand in his. 

“Daniel, you have to wake up,” I spoke. “River needs you. You can’t leave. Not like this.” 

I looked at him, waiting for a reaction, waiting for him to wake up, waiting for anything. And in that moment, I felt his hand shift slightly, and return the tight grip on mine. 

“Holy sh*t.” 

Ayden 

After a long talk, listening and helping River express how she felt, she had fallen asleep. I listened to her, comforted her, wiped her tears, held her, letting her release all her thoughts and emotions; whatever she needed to talk about. 

She had been asleep for about two hours. She rested her head on my chest, as I kept my arm wrapped around her. I stared at the TV in front of me, focusing intently on the show. I heard my phone ding, looking down to see a text I had received from Officer Collins. 

He’s awake. 

River 

I sprinted down the hall, headed straight to his room. Ayden had woken me up, telling me that we needed to go to the hospital. I, once again, assumed the worst, thinking that my dad had let go. I was wrong. It was the exact opposite. 

I got to his room, coming to a stop, standing in the doorway. He looked over, locking eyes with me. 

“Hi, my sweet girl.” 

Tears came to my eyes, for what felt like the hundredth time in the past few days, but that time they were different. They were tears of joy. I took a step forward, then another, and another until I was in my dad’s arms, feeling safe in his warm embrace. 

“I love you.” 

---

I shifted around under the comfort of my warm blanket. My eyes slowly opened, the bright sunlight shining through the window curtains filling my vision. I sat up, looked down at my familiar small hands, and flipped them over and over again, attempting to understand. I lifted them up, and used them to rub my tired eyes. I heard a pair of footsteps followed by a knock on the door. 

“River! It’s time to get up,” my mom’s voice echoed through the door. 

What the heck just happened?