Her name is Adira. A Hebrew name meaning strong, noble, pand powerful. However, she didn’t really feel powerful. At school she depicted a happy, confident girl and at home she tried to continue wearing that mask. Home was her hell. She didn’t have anyone. Her father and mother were never home and her siblings hated her. It had reached a point to where she didn’t know who to live.

         “Why are you always like this!”, yells her father.

Yet again, they were arguing. Her sister had told him that she felt ignored by Adira, which wasn’t true. But as always, nobody believed her.

         “You are always the cause of this. You always cause everything!”

“But I didn’t do anything! I have a lot of homework. I can’t drop whatever I am doing just to listen to her talk behind her friend’s backs!”

         “I am tired of having to deal with you time and time again. I haven’t said anything because I thought that you would outgrow it ….but guess what? I don’t care anymore! You can be sick or not able to go to college and  I won’t care! It’ll be your problem. Why did I have to have a daughter like you?!?”

Those words hurt her more than anything. Knowing that her own father, someone who had once been her best friend, didn’t want her. He didn’t care about her. It hurt. It’s like her world had just collapsed. She went back to her room and just cried. She cried and cried until there weren’t any tears left.

“Why does he hate me?”, she thought.

“What did I do to him that was so wrong?”

The next day….

Adira just wanted someone to talk to. Someone who would listen and give her advice. Someone who would hug her and say that everything was going to be alright, but it wasn’t possible. You see, Adira had many friends but not true friends. She had friends that would expect her to listen but won’t listen in return. She had “friends” that only talked to her for answers to the tests. She had no one.

“Hey! How was your weekend?”, asked Monica

“Not so good. You see my-”

“Wait, oh my god!! Did I tell you about Axel? Ok, so basically he…”

And that is how it was everyday. Adira didn’t know what else to do. She was tired of this. She was tired of being used and hurt. She was tired of not being able to talk to someone. She was tired of keeping her feelings hidden.

Later at night….

Just like every night, Adira thought about her life. She thought of what would happen if she stopped being friends with people. She thought about what would happen if she just disappeared; wondering who would care. But as always, they were just thoughts.

One thought stuck in her head. One that helped her make a choice. A choice to not be treated that way again.

The next day….

Adira didn’t want to deal with her friends who acted that way. She started hanging out with different people. People who let her be herself. She would still be with her old friends, just not as often. Adira was much happier. She would laugh, smile, and joke  around more. She was heard.

A few days later…

Adira showed up to where she used to hang out. Most her her friends were happy to see her, but one wasn’t. Monica was angry with Adira.

“So, where have you been?”

“I don’t need to tell you, but if you need to know I will. I was with some other friends.”

“I see. When you get other finds you just ditch us. So loyal.”

“You know what I am sick of this! I am sick of being a follower! I can be with whoever the hell I want! You are not my mom or my best friend to be mad at me! I am done doing things to make you happy!”

Adira just got up and walked away.

She continued talking to certain friends from that old group, but not Monica. Monica turned some people against her, but it didn’t bother her. Her new friends were amazing. She had turned school into her escape. Where she can be herself and be heard.

Even though school was amazing, Adira’s home life didn’t change at all. It was still the same problems. There was still that darkness in her home. There was still that feeling of loneliness and emptiness.

4 years later…

Adira was graduating high school with honors. She had gotten a full-ride scholarship to her dream school, Stanford University. Her graduation was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life, but it wasn’t. Only her mom and brother were in the audience. Her dad and sister hadn’t bothered to show up. It hurt, but there was nothing she could do. There relationship hadn’t improved the slightest. Adira didn’t have time to worry about them. She had a whole life waiting for herself. She did make one promise as she walked across the stage. Her promise was, “I will see my kids walk across the stage to get their diplomas and I will never make them feel this pain that I feel today.”

Not everything is bright with roses. Sometimes things just don’t get better and that’s called  life.