I'll always stay.

I watched as the blood rapidly dripped out of the long slits across her wrists and onto the carpet. I pulled her into my lap, taking my heavy Mossy Oak sweatshirt off and wrapping her slowly cooling body up in it like a little taco.

"Babe, I'm sorry." Tears welled in her soft gray eyes as she looked up at me. "I'm so f***ing sorry." Her eyes started to turn a deep green as the tears began to slowly slide down her cheeks.

I wiped her eyes with my thumb, softly caressing her skin. Pulling her closer to me, I wrapped my arms around her and tried to keep the tears from welling in my eyes. "It's fine baby girl," I murmured, stroking her cheek gently. "It's fine."

She closed her eyes and for a moment I thought she was dead and I panicked.

"Babe?" She pressed her head against my chest and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. I sighed in relief. "What's wrong love?"

"I'm an idiot mi vida!" She sobbed, curling herself into a ball. I noticed that the blood flow coming from her wrists was starting to become heavy. S***. I then realized that since she was becoming upset that her heart rate was increasing and blood was coming out of her faster.

In normal terms, she was dying faster.

"Babe you need to calm down, okay?" I choked out. "Please."

The tears just kept on coming and the blood just kept on flowing. I knew for a fact that she wasn't calming down and it was killing me to know that every second she stayed like this meant that she was dying all the quicker. She sobbed against my chest and I rubbed her back, trying to desperately calm her down.

"Shhh baby girl, it's alright. Everything's gonna be fine." This seemed to quiet her a bit and she started to breathe deeper, trying to even out her erratic breathing. I just kept rubbing her back and kept telling her that everything was going to be okay.

"I'm sorry mi vida." She murmured into my chest. I kissed her forehead tenderly and I tilted her head up so she stared at me. Gosh, she was so beautiful. Her hair was a healthy mixture of light brown and blonde. I could remember how her hair would lighten a bit during the summer and would darken a bit during the winter. Her eyes were stunning. Depending on what she was wearing (it was typically black band T-shirts and skinny jeans, but not always) her eyes were blue, bluish-green or a bluish-gray color. The only time I've ever seen her eyes turn a vivid green or a vivid blue was when she was crying, like right now. She was short, but in such a way that made her adorable. She was 5'3" and had a sassy flair that always made me smile. Sometimes it got out of hand but it was cute to see her all worked up sometimes, cause then she'd squeak like a cute little Hamster. Apart from having a feisty personality she had a beautiful body, although she often didn't agree with me. She was a DD for her bra size, and her breasts fit her body perfectly. Her ass was a small one, but cute, sometimes sexy if she was wearing yogas pants. She had thick thighs and often remarked to me how she felt fat. She was beautifully curvy, not even remotely fat. Yeah she had thick thighs but I loved her thighs. They made her body flow seamlessly. And her tiny little hands. How small they looked entangled in my big, thick ones. She had a touch of an Angel; her hands were always so soft and she would pet my head or stroke my cheek with a delicate hand.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Look at me beautiful." I whispered, kissing her forehead. My girlfriend opened her eyes and looked at me, a few stray tears escaping her eyes. "Yes?"

"You're beautiful babe, honestly, you are. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on and I'm such a lucky guy to call you mine. You are the love of my life, you're my everything and I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you baby girl." I blinked a few tears back. "And I'm scared right now."

"You're scared?" She murmured. "How are you scared?"

I wiped my teary eyes with the back of my head and gave her head a gentle pat. "I'm going to lose the love of my life." I looked back down at her to see that she was noticeably pale, almost stark white. "Don't leave me yet!" I pleased pitifully. "Please!"

Her bottom lip quivered and the tears welled in her eyes again. I laid her out on our mattress, which was sitting on our gray-carpeted, white-painted room. A fuzzy blue dream-catcher hung from the ceiling. Navy blue curtains that hung over the single window in our room shielded us from light, as well as prying eyes, even though it'd be a bit hard to pry into this room seeing as how we're on the second floor. Various piles of her clothes and my clothes were scattered throughout the room like we didn't care. Well, I didn't anyhow. I knew that she did, so she tried to be organized with her piles. It didn't work.

"Baby?" I heard the panic in her unusually soft voice. "Baby where are you?"

I crawled up next to her, flipping her over so that she was laying on her right side and facing me. I kissed her lips as gently as I could. They felt like they were like ice in comparison to mine.

"Babe you're like ice."

She smiled faintly. "I'm dying my love."

I shook my head and squeezed her against me. "No! Baby please! Don't leave me! I can't do this on my own!"

She stroked my cheek with a slightly shaky hand. "It's okay baby. I don't matter."

"You're wrong. You mean the world to me and I don't wanna live without you baby girl." I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks.

"I love you BearBear," she whispered, calling me by her pet-name for me. "I love you so much." She inhaled a sharp breath and I felt my heart-rate quicken.

"Will you stay?" She asked quietly.

"Always." I took her hand in mine and pressed it against my lips. She smiled and me and her gaze lingered on my face. "Yes?"

"Before I die there's one thing I want you do to." Her voice was so hushed I almost didn't hear her.

"And what's that?"

"Kiss me you dork."

I smirked and pressed my lips against hers, her lips molding quite perfectly against mine. She moved away after a few seconds and ran her fingers down the side of my face. I kissed her fingers as they brushed past my lips and she moved her hand down to my chest. I felt her dwindling pulse underneath her skin. She buried herself into me and squeaked softly.

"What's wrong babe?" I murmured, rubbing her back. Her breathing became alarmingly shallow and I felt the panic swell in my chest.

"I'm so sorry mi vida. I love you." After she spoke there was silence. Complete silence. And it threatened to choke me.

I brushed my fingers up to her neck to feel her pulse. There was nothing. I felt my heart starting to crack open like an egg and break into pieces. I saw her eyes were still open so I closed them lightly with my thumb. There. Now my girlfriend looked like she was sleeping instead of being dead.

Ex-girlfriend. My subconscious painfully reminded me. She's gone.

I pulled out my pack of Marlboro Reds and lit up a cigarette. Many drags later it was diminished to nothing but a bud. I exhaled the smoke, stashed the bud in an empty bottle of water and felt a few tears roll down my cheeks. I looked down at my now dead girlfriend and more rolled out of my eyes.

Planting a loving kiss on her forehead I whispered, "You can keep the jacket baby. I was gonna give it to you as a gift anyways. I love you so much baby girl and I'll always have your back. I'll see you soon."

Suddenly, I remembered lyrics to an Asking Alexandria song called "I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps a Cowboy King" that she once tried to sing to me. She couldn't do it because she couldn't scream like the lead singer.

Load up your six shot baby
Put it to me dead
Pull the trigger, blank I'd figure
Give it to me dead

Out from underneath a pile of my clothes I grabbed a pistol and loaded it with one single brass bullet. I plugged my phone into the charger near me and typed up the last words I'd ever write:

Now she'll be mine forever.

I looked at my "sleeping" love and I smiled faintly. "I guess I'll be seeing you on the other side baby girl."

I held the loaded gun to my head.

And then I pulled the damn trigger.

I'll always stay.