Speaking Up

























I was standing on the edge of the highest point on the bridge. The air was cold and made my cheeks redden. The crisp, salty smell hit me as I leaned over to look at the water about 150 feet from where I was standing. The chilly breeze made me lose all feeling in my fingers. I directed my gaze up toward the beautiful, twinkling city lights. Although I was literally about to make a life or death decision, I still took the time to appreciate the beauty of everything around me.
I took a second glance down at the water. Suddenly, I felt my face became pale. Was I really doing this? Is this how I wanted my life to end? At the time, the answer seemed like this was the best choice. I thought about it some more. I thought long and hard. How did my life end up like this? My eyes watered just thinking about it.
It all started on my first day at San Francisco Bay High School. New school, yet again, I thought when I woke up that morning. It was a third of the way into the school year and I was coming in late because I was teased way too often for me or my parent’s liking. It had been the third time in the past 2 years that I had to move and switch schools. Bullying just followed me wherever I went, I couldn’t help it. And to add on to that, I had become so anti-social and shy that I couldn’t make any friends. Most people didn’t accept me anyway. Sure I didn’t wear the latest trends, and so what if I didn’t look like those girls in the magazines. I never liked the same things anyone else liked and I wasn’t really one to fit in. I didn’t care to take any interest in makeup or what I wore or if my butt looked big in a pair of jeans.
I was always able to look past the rude remarks thrown to me but I eventually let their words get to me. My confidence had shot down so low that I had to leave 3 different schools. I got bullied so then I moved to a new place. But, because I had been bullied, I became anti-social so when I arrived to my new school, I didn’t talk to anybody and therefore got picked on for being a ‘loser.’ It was a vicious cycle that worsened my confidence, school after school.
But this time, I had had enough. So, having moved to San Francisco, I had a new attitude. I thought, new place-- new me. I might as well just make the best of this new high school considering I wont be able to move for a while because of my family’s tight budget from moving so much. How bad could things get?

As I got ready in the morning, I took a look at my clothes. Most of them were my parents old clothes or just some stuff I found at thrift shops. Bland greys, greens, browns, and reds were the colors my clothes consisted of. For the first time, I actually wanted to dress up and look nice instead of wearing what was comfortable for me. I figured that if I wore something nice they’d think I were cool and want to talk to me. But, I realized that none of my clothes were ‘in-style’ so this was quite the challenge. I settled for my dad’s old red flannel and a pair of ripped jeans. It wasn’t exactly the cutest thing to wear but it was the nicest thing I owned at the moment so I figured it would do. I hadn’t realized how stressful it was to care what other people thought until that moment. I would usually grab whatever and just throw it on.
After taking forever to choose an outfit, my mother called me from the kitchen, “Lily? What’s going on sweetheart? You’ve got to go. You’re going to be late!”
I took a look at my clock. 7:10. I had fifteen minutes to eat and get to school. “Uh, just a minute mom, I’m coming!” I said rushing out my bedroom door.
“I made you waffles for breakfast. Would you like some juice? I’ve got apple and orange,” she offered.
“No time. Sorry mom. I’ve gotta go.”
“Now I can’t have you skipping breakfast on your first day! You’re a growing girl. You need your energy. Sit down and have your waffles, please,” she ordered.
“Mom, I really don’t have the time. You even said yourself, I’m gonna be late.”
“Well maybe if you hadn’t been so picky with your clothes you wouldn’t have been in such a rush,” she said snappily.
I rolled my eyes and groaned, “Ugh mom can we please not argue? I really don’t want to be late.”
“Fine, fine. Here,” she handed me a banana, “take this and eat it on your way. I don’t want you starving on your first day.”
“You said that already, mom. Thank you.” I said taking the banana and rushing out the apartment door.
“Love you! Have a good first day!” I heard her yell as a ran down the hall.

I rode my bike to school. My mom thought it was ‘good cardio’ for me considering my size and the fact that I sit and lounge around instead of getting up and being active.
Just like most of my belongings, my bike was anything but new. ‘Old and rusty’ would have be an understatement. It was supposed to be a bright orange colored bike but it now looked like burnt feces. It was probably the ugliest bike to ever roam the earth. But alas, it was my only form of transportation that could get me to school in under ten minutes.
As I pedaled to school, I thought of the new possibilities of entering another new school. Maybe I’ll join a club or something. I wonder who I’m going to eat lunch with...
Checking my watch, I noticed I only had seven more minutes to get to school. I sped up. I began to get a nervous feeling in my stomach. I started thinking about the things that had happened to me in the past. What if they were to happen again? I’d have to move yet again and my parents would get even more stressed. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. What if the people here don’t accept me? What am I going to do? A sudden rush of worry and anxiety came over me. Thoughts of being outcasted and alone suddenly came to mind.
I knew that I needed to obtain a new attitude if I wanted to be liked and to fit in. “You can’t keep thinking this way,” I said to myself, “just be yourself and people will accept you for it.” I took a deep breath and quickly snapped out of that mentality. I continued to hastily pedal to school. Although out of breath, I managed to make it to school on time. I found myself stepping through the campus gates, placing my rust colored bike on the nearest bike rack.
My mother and I had already discussed with the school principal about settling into school and he had arranged for a member of the school’s ASB to give me a tour. I found my way towards the front office.
I instantly spotted Mr. Williams- the school principal. He was speaking to who I had guessed to be my tour guide for the day.
“Ah! Here she is now!” Mr. Williams chimed. “Good morning, Ms. Lily. Here’s your schedule for the semester,” he handed me a piece of paper with all my classes listed. “If you have any questions feel free to talk to me or any of the counselors here. We’re here to make you the most comfortable and have the best education experience! Now, here’s that tour guide I had promised.” He gestured toward the girl standing next to him. She was a petite sized girl. She was very slim and had the facial features of a model. Her curly brown hair came halfway down her back and her ocean colored eyes sparkled as she introduced herself.
“Hey there! I’m Mia. It’s so nice you meet you!” Mia said smiling. She had a high pitched voice that was booming with energy. Mia seemed a bit too over excited. Probably because thats what the associated student body had trained her to act like. “I’m here to show you around the campus and give you a lowdown of what goes on around here,” she said, still smiling.
“Hi,” I said, not knowing what else to say. There was a dreadfully long pause. “I-It’s nice to m-meet you too,” I stuttered, trying to force a smile. I just ended up looking like I desperately needed to use the restroom. Why, why was I so bad at talking to people? Mia’s smile started to fade. I could tell she was having a difficult time trying stay upbeat and positive.
“Ooookay then,” she said in a less positive tone. “Anyway, I think we should get this tour started. Come and follow me.” Mia motioned for me to walk back out the door.
On our way out the door, Mr. Williams started waving, a wide smile was placed on his face. “Bye girls! Have fun! And welcome to San Francisco Bay High, Lola!” he said, already forgetting my name. I didn’t bother to correct him though, I figured it’d just waste our time.
“So, I figured before we start the tour, I’d tell you a little bit about myself. I’m ASB club president here at SFB. I’m also a part of the cross country team. I’m a pretty fast runner, if I do say so myself,” Mia said with a triumphant tone in her voice. “What about you? What do you like to do? Here at SFBHS, we have an assortment of clubs and after school activities. I guarantee that you find one here that’s perfect for you.”
“Uhm...well, I enjoy sketching. But I don’t think they’d have something here for that.”
“Actually, we do! There's an art club that meets every other Thursday. You should check it out!”
Drawing was something I liked to do by myself, so art club didn't interest me all that much. "I'll pass," I said, "I prefer to draw alone."
"Alright then, but joining clubs is a good way of putting yourself out there and finding people who have the same interests as you." Mia didn't say much else on that topic and decided to start the tour. She took a look at my schedule and showed me where all my classes were. Mia pointed out the best places to eat lunch, where the good bathrooms were, etc. I didn't say much because I let her do all the talking. I felt her enthusiasm being sucked out of her as she showed me around the school. The tour didn't take too long and before I knew it, we were back to where my first period was.
“Well, half of first period has already gone by. You still have enough time to go in and meet your first period teacher. I should probably go to my first period now, too. I hope you had fun on the tour. If you forget where anything is or just have a question in general, I’m the girl to ask. Don’t hesitate to come up to me, okay?” Mia said. She waited for me to reply. I simply nodded and said nothing. I knew if I were to say anything, I’d just make a fool of myself. “Geez, you’re not much of a talker are you? Welp, thanks for letting me give you this tour,” she said. “It gave me a good reason to ditch Bio,” she chuckled. I smiled slightly and silently. “ See yah,” she smiled, turned, and walked away.
The hours after that went by quickly. I was able to find my classes with ease. The majority of the people in my classes paid little attention to me. I guess, in a sense, it was better than having all their eyes on me, judging me. I just wished someone would have said hello or something and communicate with me. No one had bothered to notice me, much less talk to me. I was too shy at the time so it’s not like I bothered to talk to anyone either. My confidence and ‘new attitude’ from that morning had disappeared.
Sooner or later, the lunch bell had rang. Thankfully, my mom had packed me a lunch so I didn’t have to eat the unappetising food that they served here. I took a look around the lunch court. Everyone had their little clique’s and tight friendship groups. I assumed that most people had been in these groups since they were little. I envied them. I envied all of them. I had never had that tight bond with one person before. I’m sure each and every person sitting at that lunch court had a best friend or maybe even two. I had no one.
Obviously I had no one to sit and eat lunch with. I contemplated sitting with Mia but considering how awkward the tour was, I doubted she’d want to sit with me. I took another look around. Maybe I should just go up to someone and ask if I could sit down, I thought. It shouldn’t be too bad.
I saw a couple of girls who were looking at a notebook that looked a lot like my sketchbook. I assumed they were probably into art like I was. I walked up to them and instantly their eyes went from the notebook to me.
“Can I help you?” one of them asked, annoyed. She was the one holding the notebook. She put the notebook down on the table. I glanced at it and quickly realized that they weren’t looking at what I assumed. It turns out they were writing gossip about other people. Words like “Becky is a fat whore.” & other rude comments in different colored pen was written all over the page. The girl had noticed me looking at the notebook and quickly put it out of my sight. “Excuse you. I’m gonna ask you again, can I help you?” she said putting emphasis on ‘help’. She didn’t look too happy.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys...” I paused. I knew if I asked to sit with them they’d laugh in my face. “I was just wondering if you knew where the nearest girls bathroom was,” I lied. Mia had just showed me where the bathrooms were this morning. The girl simply pointed to the farthest corner that looked like it led to the dumpsters. “Thanks.” I mumbled. I started walking toward where the girl pointed and heard the girls behind me snickering.
I decided to look for another place to eat. I found a small corner at the far edge of the courtyard and sat down. I should be happy, I thought. It’s good that people didn’t call me names or made fun of me for what I looked like. But it wasn’t good. I had spent so much time thinking about what other people had thought of me instead of focusing on trying to get them to talk to me. Memories of past experiences suddenly came pouring into my mind. This whole situation reminded me of how I was treated at my other schools. The taunting & and shrills of laughter rang in my head.
I was then snapped back into reality when a small group of large girls wearing dark clothing started walking in my direction. There were 3 of them. The one in the middle stood slightly in front of the other two. She was shorter than the other girls, her face was steamed, as red as a tomato.
“Hey you!” she shouted at me. She didn’t give me time to answer or reply. “This is our spot to eat lunch. Get outta here.” she pointed her sausage like fingers in the other direction.
I had no idea what to say. I just chose a random spot to sit and now this giant girl was yelling at me telling me to move.
“Well? Are you gonna move or not?!” The number of stares were growing as the girl raised her voice.
“I’m sorry,” I timidly replied, “I’m new to this school so I didn’t know-”
“Look,” she cut me off, “I asked you to move out of our spot, not for your loser life story.” Her two roadies chuckled behind her. The girl in the middle looked around and noticed how many people were staring. She turned back to face me. A wide malicious smirk was spread across her face. Suddenly, she hit my lunch out of my hand and my food went everywhere. Everyone in the courtyard laughed. “That’s what you get for not moving out of my spot,” she said triumphantly. The girl began to walk toward me and she shoved me. I fell hard into my food on the floor. I had barely said a sentence to this girl and she was already abusing me. I struggled to get up. The volume of people’s laughter rose. I fell back down and my confidence fell with me.
“GET YOUR FATASS OUT OF HERE,” she roared.
I got up so quickly I almost tripped and fell again. People were now dying of laughter as a stumbled and ran away. I was dying of embarrassment. I ran to the nearest bathroom almost in tears. What was that girl’s problem? I thought. I had done nothing to her. I didn’t even know her name. And yet, that girl felt like she had the right to push me around.
It was funny, all I wanted that day was for people to notice me. But once I got the attention, I realized I didn’t want it. I wanted to go back out there, I really did. However, I was a bit smarter than that. I knew I didn’t stand a chance against that girl. Especially with her ‘crew’ supporting her.
I was getting so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t even realize Mia walking into the bathroom. “Lily?” she whispered.
I was stunned. The sound of her unexpected voice made me jump. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I had become aware that my clothes were cover in food.
“Oh no, look at you! Theres food all over you,” Mia said in a genuine concerned tone.
“Yeah, but, uh, it's no big deal, really. You don’t have to worry."
"Theres clothes in the lost and found if you want them," she offered benignly.
"It's fine, really. You don't have to worry about it. I'm use to this kind of treatment," I sighed.
"Did you even know that girl?" Mia asked.
"Well," I paused, "no but--"
"Then theres no excuse for her to treat you that way! I'm going to talk to the principal and tell him what's up."
"Please don't," I pleaded. "It'll only make the problem worse, trust me, I know."
"Well... if you don't want me to tell him that bad, I won't. But, i'm leaving it up to you to speak up."
I did my best to wash to wash the food stains off but completely failed. I knew it'd be even worse if I wore the clothes from the lost and found so I just stuck to my own.
The bell rang for 6th period and I walked outside of the bathroom. Instantly, peoples eyes went on me. A couple scoffs came here and there but their faces were full of disgust.
I turned and quickly shuffled the other way from where my 6th period classroom was. I might as well not go, I thought. Its not like anyone was going to notice, anyway. So I left. I was surprised there wasn't a teacher in the the hallway or someone to stand guard.
I decided that I shouldn't have bothered to go to my 7th period either so I just headed home. I walked to where my bike was parked and it wasn't there. I looked all around and made sure that that was where I had put my bike. I was almost 100 percent positive I had put my bike there. But, my bike was no where to be seen. Im guessing the custodian mistook it for trash and threw it in the dumpster. Good riddance!
Instead of pedaling home, I went on foot. After about 15-20 minutes, I finally made my way back to my apartment complex.
“Home at last,” I sighed. I scrambled to find my keys in my backpack. I opened the door to my small, not-so-comforting apartment. Mom and Dad were both at work and Marie (my younger sister) was still at school. I entered my room. It was a tight, cramped, closet-like space. But, I still enjoyed it for what it was. My room was the only place I could truly be alone. I hung up all of my previous sketches on the walls to cover up the awful obnoxiously colored wall-paper. I set up a mini sketching area in the corner of my room. It faced the small window so that the light could shine through while I drew. Drawing and sketching were like an escape for me. It relieved a lot of my stress and worries.
Dirty clothes were scattered here and there. I had no motivation whatsoever to pick them up and clean them. There was a faint aroma of lilac or lavender or whatever it was my mom sprayed in there.
I slumped into my bed. So, my first day didn’t exactly go the way I would have liked. That’s okay. It could have gotten worse, I suppose... I thought trying to comfort myself. At least I got rid of that stupid bike.
But I thought some more, It wasn’t always this way. I used to have friends, I used to be happy. I remember when I was able to put myself out there. Not having to care what other people had thought. I did whatever I wanted to do, say whatever I wanted to say, & wore whatever I wanted to wear. But it all changed when people started calling me out for it. They called me a freak all because I didn’t have the same designer top that they did. Now I get so scared when I talk to people. I’m afraid they’ll judge me and call me out for being different.
I tried to shake the bad thoughts out of my brain. I decided to pick up my sketchbook. Like a said, drawing relieved my worries. My sketchbook was very important to me. I got it for my 8th birthday and I’ve been drawing in it ever since. It was a pretty big sketch book. I’d almost drawn in every page.
I sketched for about an hour. I ended up drawing a really slim girl with pretty clothes and a beautiful face. “Wow,” I muttered to myself, “why can’t I be this pretty and thin?”
I knew that spending so much time worrying would only make things worse. I closed my sketchbook shut. My stomach grumbled. I hadn’t eaten because my lunch was shoved to the floor earlier that day.
I went to go grab something to eat in kitchen and on my way out my room I heard the clicking noise of someone unlocking the door. My mom walked in with my little sister Marie.
“Home already? I didn’t expect you to come home for another hour,” my mother said.
“Uhh yeah well, it was a half day so I got home early,” I lied.
“Alright well wheres your bike? I didn’t see it out front,” my mom wondered.
“About that...well, I kinda lost it.”
“What do you mean you ‘kinda lost it’?” she questioned, mimicking my voice.
“On my way home I went to the bike rack where I parked it this morning and it just wasn’t there,” I said trying to act like I felt bad. I was hoping they’d buy me a new bike that didn’t look like a load of crap.
“Unbelievable. Well, I guess you’ll be walking to school from now on.”
I was disappointed. That was not the answer I wanted to hear. “Maybe we can buy a new bike?” I asked hopefully.
“Sorry sweetie we can’t afford one right now and you know that.”
I sighed. There really was no hope of me getting a new bike.
“Your father is about to come home so I’m going to make dinner. Have you finished your homework?”
Homework was the last of my worries. I hadn’t of even started it. “No, almost though.”
“Okay then, just sit tight. I’m going to get this food ready. I’m making you girls’ favorite; spaghetti. Marie, would you like to help me?” she asked my sister.
“Sure!” she chimed.
As Marie and my mother prepared the noodles and sauce, dad came home. He was his usual, happy-go-lucky self.

Usually at the dinner table, the conversation was quiet. We were just a non-talkative family. It was always the How was your day? Fine, how was yours? type of conversation. But on this particular night, things were a bit different.
“So how was your first day at school, kiddo?” my dad asked. Him and I were a lot closer than my mother and I. He just always seemed to understand me when my mother couldn’t.
“Lily managed to lose her bike, Laurence,” said my mom.
“Oh no, how’d that happen?”
“It just wasn’t there apparently,” my mother said answering for me, not letting me speak.
“Oh well, that bike was as old as grandpa anyway. We’ll get you a new one thats sure to make all the other kids jealous,” he said with a smile. My dad always knew how to put a smile on my face.
“Thanks dad,” I said quietly.
My mother had a disapproving look on her face. My dad shrugged and asked, “Didja make any new friends today?”
I went into a small panic. I didn’t want to have to lie to them but I also didn’t want them to know what happened earlier that day and worry about me.
“Yeah, actually,” I said choking on my spaghetti, “I met a couple girls in chemistry and I sat with them at lunch.”
“Thats great! You’re off to a good start, kid.” My dad seemed to have much faith in me. I hated lying to him. I just didn't want him to have to worry.

The next couple of days were dreadful. I went out of my way just to avoid this girl who didn't even know my name. If she caught a glimpse of me, she'd give me a murderous stare and I'd quickly dart toward the opposite direction. I had become so scared. But no matter what, I didn't tell anybody.
The whole week after the incident, I would walk down the hallways and hear people murmuring about me and making rude comments. It was like my old school all over again. I mean, it all happened so fast. And with all the gossip going around school, I was able to figure out that the girl who had shoved me was named Rachel Malice.
I overheard some girls discussing in the bathroom after the whole fiasco that happened.
"Did you see what happened to that new girl who transferred here?" one of them asked. She had a soft, sweet voice.
"Yeah, she totally got her butt kicked by Rachel the other day," said the other girl, scoffing. This girl on the other hand, had a nasally, rude tone in her voice.
"Don't you kinda feel bad for her?" the girl with the soft voice asked.
"Not even in the slightest. That stupid girl shoulda known better than to sit in Rachel's spot. Everyone knows that," the other girl replied.
"But I thought she was new here, how do you expect--" she got cut off by her nasally friend.
"Look, just shut up, okay? I'm tired of talking about this. Lets talk about something that doesn't waste my time."

They finally left the bathroom. I stepped out of the stall. It was refreshing to know that there was at least one person who felt a little sympathy towards me. But it also felt terrible to know that there was a person (and probably many other people) who thought that I had deserved it. It was ridiculous.
And to make matters worse, Mia had consulted a principal even after I begged her not to. Mr. Williams came up to me and asked about the whole situation. I tried lying to him but it was no use. The whole school already knew about it so it was pointless trying to hide it from him. Rachel had gotten suspended for three days. When she came back, she knew that someone had ratted her out. Rumors went flying around the school that I was the one who 'tattled.' Rachel was pissed and told everyone that she'd 'make me pay.' I was terrified. If Rachel got mad for something so little before, I was nervous to see what she was like for something like this.
Rachel had managed to find me a week after she got suspended. I had no idea how considering she didn't even know who I was but, she found me. I was sitting alone (obviously, I had no one else to talk to) behind the library. I was terrified of getting my ass beat by her so I knew that sitting at the lunch court where she could easily find me would've been an idiotic idea.
Yet she still had her ways of finding me. I could have been 200 miles away and she probably would've found me. Anyway, I was sitting behind the library eating lunch and sketching away. It was a pretty sunny day so I was confused when I dark shadow hovered over me. I looked up. It was Rachel and her two cohorts behind her.
My eyes widened. "Hi..." I said shakily.
"Oh hello there," Rachel said with a nasty smile. "So I hear you've been goin' 'round the school snitching on me. Is that true?" her voice was tough and angry.
"Well uh, no, not exactly. I didn't tell anyone," I answered nervously.
"Is that so?" she said shoving my shoulder hard against the library wall. "'Cause of you goin' off and tattling on me, I got suspended for three days." she said shoving my other shoulder against the wall.
Before I could answer, one of Rachel's cohorts spoke up, "Hey Rach, theres a teacher! We gotta get out of here!"
Rachel looked and saw a teacher coming over. She ran in the other direction, her two followers followed after.
The teacher coming over wasn't a teacher at all. It was Mia. She caught sight of me and was now rushing over.
"Oh my god are you okay? Was that Rachel? Was she hurting you?" asked Mia.
"Yeah, I'm okay," I said rubbing my shoulders. They did actually hurt, Rachel was incredibly strong.
"I totally just saw that! She was pushing you against the wall! I thought I told you to speak up!" Mia cried. She knelt down to where i was sitting.
I was kind of mad at her. She told the principal when I specifically asked her not to.
"What are you talking about?!" I said raising my voice. "You're the one who told Mr. Williams and now thanks to you Rachel is never gonna let me hear the end of it," I said rudely. I regretted saying it after I saw the look of slight embarrassment on Mia's face.
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. Let me make it up to you, I run a support group here and I'd love for you to join and discuss your issues," offered Mia.
"No thank you, I'm not mentally depressed or anything. Plus I don't have any issues, thank you very much," I said insensitively.
Mia silently nodded, got up, and walked away.
Everything after that went down hill completely. As I had predicted, Rachel never let me hear the end of it. She'd call me names in the hallway, and she'd get abusive whenever she had the chance. This went on for months and months. I didn't have the guts whatsoever to stand up to her. Mia hadn't bothered to talk to me after I dissed her club like that. I had been so rude to her when all she wanted to do was give me a hand. Now I was really alone.
The teasing and bullying got so bad that I faked being sick just so I wouldn't have to go to school and face her. I'd miss several days and sometimes even weeks. And for the days that I stayed home, I kept my self isolated in my room. The only thing that slightly cheered me up was sleeping and sketching. At this point, death was on my mind quite a lot.
I debated whether or not I should tell my parents. I knew they were already stressed money wise and I really did not want to add on to their long list of worries. So, I kept quiet.

My dad did get a little suspicious: I'd be in my room, laying in bed. The curtains were shut so a minimal amount of light would shine through. The room was quiet except for the sound of me tossing and turning. An assortment of blankets and sheets wrapped around me. I had a horrible feeling sadness and solitude. I'd drowned myself in an ocean of my dark, depressing thoughts. Wondering if death would be the quick solution to all my problems.
My dad would knock on my bedroom door, snapping me out of my deep thought.
"Can I come in, kiddo?" he would ask at the door.
I fake coughed as a way of telling him to come in. He came in and sat at the end of my bed. He put his hand over my feet. "Hey, I know you're not feeling well right now. But I can promise you, you can get through this. I know how strong you are. I love you so much." There was a long pause. But it wasn't an awkward one. He patted my feet and got up and left my room. I teared up a bit. He and I both know that he wasn't talking about me coughing and sneezing. Like I said, my dad always knew how to put a smile on my face.
I finally decided that I was well enough to go back to school. My mom had been surprisingly cool with letting me stay home. But after a while, my mother started to fear for my grades. In all honesty, I gave up trying to get good grades months ago. As I stayed home, my grades plummeted downward. So, my mom was all for me going back to school. I wasn’t so excited.
I knew I’d get it bad for showing my face at school. Everyone would call me a wimp or something. Never the less, going back to school was inevitable. I’d have to go back sometime.
On the day I returned to school, I found myself face to face with Rachel, yet again. It was lunch time. I thought the whole situation had blown over but apparently she wasn’t over it. She found me sitting alone at a table in the lunch court.
“There you are!” she said with that evil smile of hers. “I was beginning to think you were too wimpy to come back.” Rachel roughly patted me on the back, making me drop my food as I was trying to put it up to my mouth.
I literally could not take this girl. My tolerance was at an all time low. I couldn’t take anymore of her bullshit. For a split second, I wasn’t scared. Instead, I was mad-- really, really mad.
“Could you just leave me alone?!” I burst. “Honestly, don’t you have anyone else to bother? Get a life, seriously.” I had shocked not only Rachel and her possy, but myself. I had never had the balls to speak up like that.
A mix of anger, confusion, and shock were on the faces of the three. I didn’t know what to expect next. I’m so gonna die within the next three seconds, I thought. My little outburst had caught the attention of the entire lunch court.
Rachel looked anything but happy. “What did you just say?”
Stupidly, I stood up. I was a bit frightened now but regardless, I said with all my might: “Get a life. The only loser here is you. Obviously you’re so insecure and have nothing better to do than to put me down.” My voice was slightly shaking. I glanced around and saw everyones eyes on me. Facial expressions of worry and shock were on their faces.
Rachel’s face on the other hand, was furious. She gave me the nastiest stare, cracked her knuckles, and started walking closer to me. I backed away.
“Whats wrong? Don’t be scared,” she said. The nasty smile had returned to her face. I was now nose to nose with Rachel Malice. My heart was pounding.
In that instant, Rachel took her giant meaty arm and swung her fist at my ribcage. I flew backward. Now on the floor, Rachel continued to beat me vigorously. I caught a glimpse of a crowd coming over. They all chanted “Fight! Fight!” Her two followers joined in and started throwing punches and kicks. It had felt like forever before a group of teachers came and pried her off of me. As one of the staff members escorted me to the nurses office, the crowd was silent. My nose was bleeding and I felt a sharp pain in my chest.
It wasn’t long before I was laying down in the nurses office. I felt my chest ache with pain.
The nurse had checked to make sure I didn’t have any bones broken. I wasn’t dying but, I was bruised. My nosebleed had cleared up, too.
“Okay sweetie, I think you’re fine now. I’m going to call your mom now and-”
“No!” I said, louder than I had intended. “Please don’t call my mom.”
“Sweetheart, your mother is going to find out eventually. You can’t hide something like this forever. Mr. Williams has already contacted your mom about all this ruckus. She should be on her way here shortly.”
This was the last thing I wanted. Today is just not my day, I thought.

I was again escorted by the nurse. This time, to the office where I met my mother, worried as ever.
As a I walked through the office doors my mother rushed to me. She embraced me but my wine of pain made her back off.
She drove me home and discussed with me how Rachel would now be expelled from SFBHS. I was relieved. But, my problems were far from over.
When my mother and I arrived at the apartment, I was bombarded with a million questions.
“Who is this Rachel girl?” “What has she done to you?” “What have you done to her?” “Why haven’t you been telling me about this?” “Are we gonna have to switch you to a new school?”
Of all the questions she asked I didn’t hear the one I really needed to; “Are you okay?”
I really wasn’t in the mood to answer all her motherly questions because of all the things that had already happened. I was completely fed up. I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone or anything. I just felt like dying, right then and there.
“Look mom, it’s not gonna help anything if all you do is yell,” I said, louder than I had intended to.
My mother’s face was distraught. I instantly regretted saying it the minute it came out of my mouth.
“You do not speak to me with that tone in your voice, Lily,” said my mother raising her voice.
“I’m sorry mom, its just that this has been building up for a while and i’m just really stressed out. I didn’t wanna tell you and dad because I didn’t want you guys to worry.”