Last night I fell asleep thinking about my momma’s journal. As my eyes began to open I cleared my mind of my momma’s journal and forced myself out of bed. Like the usual schedule the sun wasn’t up quite yet so I went out into the chicken pin to collect the eggs for breakfast. After I got the eggs collected I ran inside and turned on the stove. I was washing the eggs when I heard a loud “THUMP!” come from the bedroom. I put the basket of eggs down and ran straight into my sister’s room to find her lying on the floor crying. “Oh my! Jennie, what happened? Are you ok?” I asked frantically. “I had a dream about mom again. I dreamed she wasn't dead, and I rolled out of bed. I’m fine.” Jennie replied. “Momma loved you very much Jennie! Don’t ever forget that.” I told her. “Yeah. Sam, have you ever thought about going back to church again? Like you did when momma was alive? You use to tell me all the time about the church services, but now you rarely speak of them.” said Jennie. “Yeah I have, but I didn’t know if you were ready for it. I would love to go back if you want!” I said happily. “Yes! Please, Sam!” Jennie exclaimed. “I’ll talk to Dad.” I said. After I helped her up off the floor I had her get dressed and clean up for breakfast. Pa never eats breakfast with us because he wakes up at 5 a.m. every day to work on the crops. After Jennie and I had breakfast, I sent Jennie to go play on the tire swing while I cleaned the house.

After I finished cleaning the house and cleaning the chicken pin I ran into town to buy groceries. I took Jennie with me into town so she wasn’t in Pa’s hair. Jennie and I only bought a few things because we don’t have much money. I had to buy strawberries to make jelly. While I was in town I ran into Daniel Reed; my best friend and first crush. “Hey Sam!” shouted Daniel from down sidewalk. “Hey Daniel!” I shouted back. I wasn’t aware that Daniel was running towards me when I felt his hand brush mine. I pulled my hand away then slowly put it back down. The second I put my hand down by my side again Daniel grabbed a hold of it. Daniel and I have liked each other for many years now. “So, what are you in town for?” Daniel asked. “Just buying strawberries to make jelly.” I replied. “I miss you! It seems like it’s been ages since we have hung out without your dad around.” said Daniel. “I miss you too! Yeah, I know. My dad just really has needed me on the farm.” I told Daniel. “Yeah. I have needed you too… Can we start hanging out more again?” Daniel asked. “I think I may be able to pull some strings so that we can meet in the pasture tomorrow at noon.” I replied. “That would be great! See you then.” Daniel said waving goodbye. As Jennie and I walked home I couldn’t stop thinking about when my momma first met Daniel and said, “Oh babygirl, he’s a cutie!”

Once we arrived home I made lunch for Jennie and took a sandwich out to Pa. “Thanks sweetheart! You are so much like your momma.” Pa said. “Welcome! How Daddy?” I asked. “You care for others more than yourself, you have the smile of an angel, and you put all our hard work into this farm.” He replied. I gave my daddy a hug and ran inside. I grabbed my momma’s journal and let a tear fall from my eye. I slowly opened the latch of the journal and started to read the first page. As soon as my eyes hit the page they didn’t leave it for 2 hours. I read about momma’s work on her farm as a young girl, the boy she liked, and her dreams. She wanted to be a schoolteacher when she got older… I think that’s what my dream is going to be; to become a schoolteacher.

Jennie ran in the house soaking wet and I jumped out of my chair so high I almost went through the roof. “Why in the world are you soaking wet?” I asked furiously. “I got pushed into the pond down the road.” She said with tears in her eyes. “Come here. Let’s take off those clothes and clean you up. You’re okay! Don’t cry.” I told her then asked her, “How did you get down there and home?” At that time Daniel walked through the door. “Did you take her down there?” I asked him frantically. “No! I just brought her home.” He replied. “Jennie, how did you get to the pond?” I asked boldly. “Well, I heard kids laughing so when you weren’t looking I ran down there.” Jennie said. “Thanks for bringing her home Daniel. I have no clue what I would have done if it weren’t for you.” I said as I hugged him. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” I asked him. “Sure. I’d love to!” he replied.
Everyone washed up for dinner including Pa. When he saw that Daniel was here he came in early so he could catch up with him. My father has known Daniel since he was born. As the guys talked about work and farm; my sister and I cooked dinner. “This is delicious!” said Daniel. “It’s just ham, mashed potatoes, and corn.” Whispered Jennie. We all laughed and had a great dinner together. I walked Daniel to the gate and thanked him everything then said goodnight.
When I came in Pa had already cleaned everything up, and when I peaked in Jennie’s room I saw Pa tucking her in. A smile quickly appeared on my face because Pa hasn’t tucked a little girl in since I was 5 years old. He couldn’t bring himself to do it because we reminded him too much of our momma, but he finally has come to terms with it.

The next morning I got up and breakfast was already made. Jennie was already up, and I head Dad laughing in the field. I looked out the window to see what it was about and saw him twirling little Jennie around. I ran out to him and Jennie smiling! “We are taking a day off today from work so go ahead and hang out with Daniel.” Said Dad smiling. “How did you know I planned to go see Daniel today?” I asked shyly. “Daniel asked my permission. He’s a polite boy.” Dad replied. I kissed Pa’s cheek and ran swiftly back up to the house. I grabbed a picnic basket and made a small little lunch. I then put on my bonnet and ran out into the pasture. About a mile down the pasture I found Daniel waiting for me. I ran into his arms and he held me in his arms. “You look beautiful as usual Miss Samantha.” Daniel said. “Why thank you. You look handsome as usual Mr. Daniel.” I replied. I laid the blanket down and got out our lunch. After we ate I packed up the stuff. Hand in hand we ran down the pasture. When we returned to the house Daniel turned me to where I was facing him and said, “You are the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He then brushed his lips upon mine and kissed me. Right as his lips left mine I smiled and knew I was falling in love with my best friend. It feels just like momma explained it would

That evening I went out into the fields and collected wheat out of the fields. I knew money was tight and wanted to be sure I had something to sell in town. “You don’t have to do that.” Pa said as he walked up. Surprised I jumped. “I know. I just want to be sure everything is taken care of.” I replied. “Pa, can we start going back to church?” I asked shyly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea… Jennie just isn’t ready yet.” He said. “Yes she is Pa. It was her idea. She miss Ma more than any of us.” I told him. “Well if my little Jennie wants to go then we can go.” Pa said. I was extremely excited! I ran up to the house and went straight to Jennie. “Pa agreed to go to church!” I exclaimed. “Really? Oh my goodness. This is going to be great!” Jennie shouted. “Since it’s already Saturday you need to be sure to get into bed early tonight. Service is at 8.” I told her. Jennie walked into her room and washed up. I made refried beans and pork for dinner. Jennie ate then quickly went to bed. Pa came in later than usual and I was curious. “Pa is everything ok?” I asked him. “Yes. It’s fine. I was just thinking about your mother. She was so beautiful you know. Tomorrow morning is going to be hard for us.” He said as a tear rolled down his eye. I hugged him and said, “Daddy, saying goodbye is never easy. Remember though, it’s not a permanent goodbye. We will see her in Heaven.” I walked my dad to his room and put the covers over him. As I was walking out I looked over my shoulder and whispered, “Pa, you are my hero.” I quietly shut the door and went straight to my mother’s journal. I read for about an hour then fell asleep with the journal on my chest.

“Wake up!” Jennie shouted. I got out of bed and saw that Jennie was dressed already. “Is Pa up yet?” I asked. “No. I haven’t seen him.” Jennie replied. I walked into my Pa’s room and said, “Pa you awake?” “Yeah. I am getting up.” He replied. After we all were up, we had breakfast then headed to church. We don’t have to walk to church because Pa can use the wagon. I can’t use it when I go into town because I am too young apparently in Pa’s book. It took us half an hour before we arrived at the church. “Is that you Samantha?” said a familiar voice from the crowd. “Yes ma’am.” I replied. “Oh my gracious! It’s me, Diane Crowder. You have grown so much. You look just like your momma.” She said. “Mrs. Crowder… The Sunday school teacher I had when I was 7?” I asked her. “Yes sweetheart. That’s me!” Mrs. Crowder replied. “And may I ask… Who is this precious little angel?” she asked looking at Jennie. “This is my little sister, Jennie. She’s 5 years old now.” I told her. “Hello Jennie. I am your Sunday teacher this morning.” Mrs. Crowder said. “Hello there Miss.” Jennie said shyly. “Well we better get to our seats. Everyone will be so happy to have y’all back!” Mrs. Crowder said happily. “”Good Morning everyone! Looks like we have Samantha, her father, and little sister back with us this morning! It’s great to see y’all!” the pastor said smiling as he welcomed everyone into the church. As the service started I saw Pa look around sadly. I could tell by the look on his face that he wished my momma were here. I took his hand at that moment and whispered, “I miss her too daddy.” Once the music started Jennie followed the other girls to Sunday school with Mrs. Crowder while girls my age stayed with their parents. After 2 hours of the pastor speaking church was over. Jennie came from her classroom giggling and smiling. As we all were walking towards the front doors of the church I heard someone say my momma’s name. I stopped! I turned around to see who it was and realized I had recognized the voice. It was just Daniel. I walked over to him and asked furiously, “What did you say about my momma?” “I just said that you look a lot like her and remind everyone of her.” He said shocked at how furious I was. “Oh sorry. I just don’t like hearing other people talk about her.” I said sadly. “It’s okay. I understand.” He said reassuringly. After the incident we all got on the wagon and daddy rode us home.

When we got back to the house everyone cleaned up. As Dad was cleaning up he walked by my room. He saw mom’s journal sitting on my bed and he quickly walked over to the bed. “What are you doing with this?” Pa asked while holding up the journal in shock. “I found it. Momma left it for me. I know it.” I replied. “I know darling. It just surprised me to see it. She was the love of my life and now she’s gone.” Pa said. Pa put down the journal and walked out of the room. The past few weeks Pa has been depressed because he misses Ma so much. As Jennie and I cooked dinner we heard Pa crying. “Go talk to him Jennie. He sees Momma in your eyes.” I whispered to her. Jennie left and went to talk to Pa. About 10 minutes later Pa and Jennie walked into the room hand in hand. I knew she would get him to come to dinner. “Smells like steak, corn, rolls, and beans!” said Pa excitedly. “Yes sir it sure is.” I replied with a smile. After we finished dinner and cleaned up Pa came into my room with Jennie. “Girls, I need to tell you something.” Pa said as he walked into the room. Thoughts were racing through my mind. “What was he going to say? What did we do? Is everything okay?” I thought. “Look, when your momma passed away it was hard for me to look at each of you. You both remind me so much of her. You have her eyes, her smile, and her laugh. I love you girls with all my heart and work here in Oklahoma is hard, but no matter what we will always have each other.” Pa said then continued on, “Jennie, momma loved you very much. She use to read books to you all the time when you were in her tummy. She use to talk to you and pray about you. She was extremely happy to be having another girl. She called you her little apple.” Pa said with a tear rolling down from his eye. “Samantha, she loved how you were her little bookworm. You are intelligent and beautiful. You are exactly like your momma.” Pa said to me. “Goodnight my little angels. Momma is watching over you and so is our Heavenly Father.” Pa said as he walked out of the room. “Goodnight Daddy.” We both whispered. That night Jennie fell asleep in my arms. From that night on everything was different....

As the years went by Pa spent more time with Jennie and I, we went to church every Sunday, Daniel and I fell in love, and life was great. Momma’s death didn’t hurt us anymore. We miss her, but we don’t cry as often as we use to. About 5 years down the road when I turned 19 I accomplished my dream. I started teaching at the school in town. Since the town couldn’t afford more than one school, youngsters came on Monday and Tuesdays while older kids came on Thursday and Fridays. I was doing what my momma wanted to do. I was walking in her footsteps. Daniel and I had gotten married the summer before when I was 18. Now we had a child on the way. We found out that it’s going to be a girl. “What do you want to name her?” Daniel asked me that day in the doctor’s office. “Michelle. Michelle Ann. After my momma.” I replied without a second thought. I want my little girl to be named after her strong grandmother and she will be.