Chapter 2 - Happy Birthday to me

I looked at Ollie, who kept trying to look out the window that I was sitting next to. I blocked the window and shook my head.

′He has already been scarred enough, seeing our house, in this state and with our parents in it, would just make it worse.′ Is what I thought to myself as I tried to keep him away from the window.

“What’s happening? Why won’t you let me see?!” He yelled.

“Everythings fine.” I replied with the best fake smile I could pull off, holding back any tears I had.

I looked at him, trying to keep him away from the window. But I soon realized that I would have to tell him the truth sooner or later, so the question was, how was I supposed to tell a five year old that their parents are gone, and that they are never coming back. That fact would be even more traumatizing than letting him see the house, with our parents still inside of it. So I gave in and let him look out the window. When he saw the house, he banged on the car door window,

“MOMMY, DADDY!!” He yelled. with tears in his eyes. “Nicci, we have to go in there! We have to get them out of there or they’ll die!” He tried to get out of the car but I pulled him away from the door, and sat him next to me, in the middle part of the seat and belted him in.

“No, It’s not safe in there, we have to stay here.” I demanded, as I belted him in.

“But mommy and daddy are still in there!” He replied with tears in his eyes.

I looked him in the eye and held his shoulders.

“Ollie, I know this is going to be hard for you to understand, but, Mommy and daddy aren’t coming out of there. There is nothing more that the people out there can do to save them. They can’t get in there. There is no longer a way in or out. I’m sorry buddy.”

“B-but.” He sniffled, and tears started coming out of his eyes.

He couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer and he started sobbing, and kicking. So I hugged him to try and calm him down, It took 4 whole minutes before he finally fell asleep, then I wiped the tears off of his face. I turned around and looked out the window. I watched as the fire was finally put out and debirs was scooped up and tossed to the side. The paramedics came and put my parents into body bags and hauled them away. The police officer who told us to get in the car came and got into the car. He drove away from what used to be our home, which is now a pile of ash and debris. I sat back in my seat and stared forward, deep in though.

“Happy birthday to me..”

************************************************************

We were placed in the local foster home, Happy Home, where me and Ollie were put in a seperate room away from the other kids, the room had a tan wall color, there were two twin beds across from each other with a rug intersecting between them. There was a window on the wall across from the wall the door was on, on the window sill there was an alarm clock, the time was 7:00 pm.

′God, it’s been over 2 hours since our parents died.'

I layed Ollie down in the bed that was against the left wall, and tucked him in.

Then I layed on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Deep in thought. I realized that my life was unimaginably altered in just moments. I was uncertain of what was to become of my life. I had nothing in my name but the clothes on my back, and my brother, who wasn’t actually property, but the last thing I had of my mother and father. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a family photo with me, my parents, and my brother, that I had slipped in my pocket from my night table just a few hours before dinner.

′God, I am so glad I put this in my pocket′

This was all I had left, a picture. A stand-still memory of what was.

I put the photo in my back pants pocket and layed down, staring at the ceiling. Then I slowly drifted off to sleep.

I woke a little while later and heard my little brother crying, and trembling in his sleep. I didn’t understand what was happening, but in an instant I got up and shook him awake. He woke up and started hyperventilating.

I held him close and rocked him side to side.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here now.”

In minutes he was back to sleep.

I layed next to him, just thinking.

′what are we supposed to do now? we have no one. We’re just supposed to go to random strangers until someone actually wants us?!′

I got up, and walked up to the window, and threw the alarm clock on the floor and slumped to the floor against the wall.

″Why god, why did you have to take them away from us?! Don't you see what's it done to him?!″

Amanda Jones, one of the employees at Happy Home, walked in after hearing me yell.

“Sweetie, you need to quiet down, ok?” She told me with a concerned look on her face.

I got up slowly and walked up to her and looked at her for a moment.

“No. How am I supposed to quiet down when I can’t even think straight!”

I started pacing, then Mandi came all the way in the room and shut the door. Then I made eye contact with her once again.

“I don’t know where me and Ollie are going to go. For all I know we could go to some abusive, no-good, parent. And now Ollie is having nightmares. And on top of all that, the only thing I have left is him, and the picture I grabbed of my night table, at my house, which is now a pile of debris, ashes, and memories. So excuse me if I can’t keep my voice down!”

I st down on my bed, breathing heavily.

“Look,” She replied with a look of concern on her face. “I know this is hard for you and your brother, and you just lost the most important people in your life, and your home. But things will get better. I will see to it that you go to good people. You have my word, ok?” She said, reaching for a hug.

I fell into her embrace, she smelled just like my mother, I just wanted to stay there forever. I started to cry because the smell, and the way she hugged me reminded me of my mother.

She let go and looked at me concerningly.

“W-what’s wrong? Did I do something.” She asked concerningly.

“No." I sighed. "Y-you just remind me of my mother that’s all. It’s the scent of your perfume, your hair, your soothing voice and the way you talk. It’s all just like her.” I replied.

“Oh, alright then. Well, are you ok now?” She asked.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine I guess.”

“Ok,” She turned around and opened the door, then turned back to face me. “If you ever need anything, or just need someone to talk to, I always here. Ok?”

“Ok.”

She left the room and I layed down on the bed and cried for a long time until I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 3 - Getting to know the kids

The next morning Amanda came in and woke me and Ollie up.

“Good morning kiddos” She said cheerfully.

“Good morning” I replied.

It had been 2 weeks since our parents died, and they were planning a funeral that is supposed to happen in 3 days. I don’t know what to expect. Or even what they’re going to look like. My mother was the most beautiful woman you would ever meet, her wavy auburn hair, and the way her hair would rest on her shoulders. The messy bun she would put it in when she would play with me when I was little. The bittersweet memories I remember so well. And to think, that woman, the most amazing woman you would ever get to meet, was ripped from the face of this Earth in a matter of seconds.

But my dad on the other hand, he just was never really there for me emotionally. He was more like a space-filler, he was just there to be there. Although my mother loved him dearly, they had been fighting lately, and he planned to leave her and Ollie and me. I guess that bastard got what he deserved. A one-way ticket to the pits of hell where he belongs.

I got up and noticed that Ollie had already gone out of the room to go play with the other kids. I smiled at the site of him making friends and finally being happy. It gave me a sense of hope, that we could get through this, together. That we could push through this and make it through.

I walked out the door and walked up to Ollie and lifted him up, and gracefully spun around with him and held him close.

“Nicci! You’re so happy today!” Ollie cried.

I looked at him with him still in my arms and smiled.

“Yeah. I guess I am” I replied smiling.

I put him down so that he could continue playing with his new-found friends. Then I walked away slowly and sat at the breakfast nook across from the play-area.

Suddenly a boy, my age from the looks of it, came over to the breakfast nook, he had a beautiful smile, olive-toned skin, defined cheekbones and very thin lips. He had green eyes, and tapered eyebrows. He has medium-length, brown hair which is swept just above his eyes. He has narrow shoulders, and a lean torso. He is wearing clothes that are dark-colored and comfortable fitting. He stands about 5ft. 10in. tall, 5 inches taller than me. He had big enough hands that made mine seem small, and delicate in his. He held out his hand to give me a handshake I smiled and accepted his gesture.

“Hi,” He held out a hand to give me a handshake. “My name is Nathan, Nathan Cox.”

“My name is Nicole, Nicole Walker. Everyone at home just called me Nicci.” As he continued to shake my hand I felt warmth throughout my body, I felt a feeling I still had yet to learn more about.

Love.

He smiled. “Ok ′Nicci’. It’s nice to meet you.”

I let go of his hand, and looked over and noticed that Amanda was looking at me and smiling. I smiled back.

'I am going to get through this'

I looked over at Ollie and smiled.

'No, we. We are going to get through this. Together.'

**************************************************

After talking to Ethan for what felt like only a little while it was time for everyone to go to bed.

"Alright everyone," Amanda started. "It's time for bed."

All the little ones picked up the toys, including Ollie, then they headed for their assigned rooms. Me and Ethan got up from our spots at the nook.

Ethan came up to me and gave me a hug, and I hugged him back. It was warm, it was comforting, it was everything I needed right then and there.

We both walked to our assigned rooms, and before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep. 

Chapter 4 - Getting ready for the funeral

The following morning Amanda came in to our room and woke us up.

“Good morning kids.”

“Morning Amanda.” I replied.

She frowned slowly, then looked at me.

“Nicci, we have to go shopping for you and your brothers’ funeral outfits. We got to go now or we’ll be late, ok?”

I got up slowly and stood in front of Amanda for a second.

′Oh god, today’s the funeral.′

“Nicci?” Amanda said suddenly, snapping me out of the trance I had found myself in.

“Y-yeah, let’s go.”

I walked past her and out the door. Staring somberly at the floor, as I walked.

When I was out of the room I heard a familiar voice.

“Nicci? Is everything okay?” I looked up to see Ethan a few feet in front of me.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” I walked past him, and then I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m here for you if you ever need anything, remember that ok?” He replied sympathetically.

“Thank you Ethan.” I replied, creating a faint smile on my face.

Amanda came out of the room holding Ollie, so we walked out the door and we went to the local mall to find some clothes for the service.

Amanda bought me an elegent-style dress that covers my shoulders entirely, and flows down into a modest keyhole neckline. Its a relaxed fit which makes the dress both enjoyable to wear and look at. The dress’ waist is narrow, but it’s a loose fit. A large belt helps accentuate her waist in a stylish manner.

Below the waist the dress fits snug around her and has a sarong style. The dress reaches to just above her knees and is slightly longer in the back.

She also found me some black velvet peep toe flats.

“It looks beautiful on you Nicci” Amanda said cheerfully.

“Nicci! You’re so pretty!” Ollie said gleefully.

Next, Amanda bought Ollie a plain shirt and left it unbuttoned at the top for a more casual look. On top of the shirt, he’s wearing a trendy vest with 3 buttons. And along with the outfit, he's wearing some plain black and white converse shoes.

"Aww, look at my little man." I said laughing.

"Thanks Nicci!" He replied laughing.

"Alright kiddos, I know you're both having fun, but we have to go back to Happy Home and get you ready for the service." Amanda demanded.

"Alright" me and Ollie replied.

We headed back to Happy Home and Amanda lead me to the back room where there was a vanity. She dressed up my hair. Naturally my hair is auburn, like my mom's, and wavy, and reaches my shoulders. Amanda put my hair in a clean bun. 

"Actually Amandi, could you put my hair in a messy bun? That's how my mom would put her hair when I was younger. I think it would honor her respectfully."

I could see her smile a little bit.

"Sure sweetie" She replied, undoing the bun she did.

"Thank you"

We walked out of the back room. And Ollie was out there, and I noticed that his hair was still a little messy.

"He didn't let me fix up his hair" Amanda told me chuckling.

"Hey Nicci." I looked over at the breakfast nook to see Ethan.

"Amanda," I whispered. "Could I go sit with Ethan for a little bit?" 

"Actually sweetie, Ethan is coming with us. Chelsey is going to stay here with the other kiddos."

"Ok, cool!" I replied excitedly.

I walked over to Ethan. "Hey Ethan"

He stood up quickly. "Hey Nicci." He gave me a once over. "You look beautiful!"

I blushed. "Thank you Ethan"

"Kids! We have to go! It's time for the service!"

"Well, we better get going, huh?" Ethan said, holding his hand out to hold my hand. I accepted his gesture and we held hands all the way out to the Happy Home van. Amanda put Ollie in a booster seat in the car and strapped him in, then she got in the front seat.

"You first Nicci" Ethan said kindly.

"Actually I'd rather sit by the window. But thank you for the kind gesture" I smiled.

"That's alright." He replied.

Ethan got in, then I followed.

"Alright kids. Let's go say goodbye." Then we drove off.

Chapter 5 - The funeral

We pulled up to the church where I saw all of my family members, None of them wanted anything to do with us or our mom after she married our dad, Henry.

“Alright let’s go kids.” Amanda demanded.

“Okay Mandi.” I replied.

Ethan took my hand in his again, I looked down at our interlocked hands and back up at him with a smile, and he smiled back at me. I looked down at the ground as I walked, only looking back up periodically to watch where I was going.

“Nicci?” Ethan started. “Are you doing okay?”

I looked at him as we continued to walk, then I looked back down. but I didn’t say anything back.

Ethan sighed.

When we got into the church Amand, Ollie and Ethan sat down in the second pew, on the side that is next to the isle. The caskets were still open so I decided to go take a look.

“Wait here guys, Ollie come with me,” He came over to me and I held him in my arms. Ethan smiled at how beautiful I looked holding Ollie. “We’re gonna go say goodbye..” I went to walk away when Ethan grabbed my arm.

He stood up slowly.

“I should come too.”

“O-okay. Be my guest.” I replied.

We walked up to the caskets, come to find out, my parents had been cremated. So my goodbyes are to a pile of ashes.

“Hi Mom,” I glared at my dad’s casket “Hi Dad” I said through gritted teeth.

Ethan looked at me, confused at my sudden mood change towards my deceased father.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry we had to say our goodbyes this early.” My voice started to break. “I just want to say a few things to each of you,” I sighed. “Mom, this is not the way you deserved to go. You deserved to go peacefully, not lying next to this bastard in a fire.” I gestured towards my dad’s casket. “You didn’t deserve to be taken from me, and at the young age of 32. I love and miss you, more than you’ll ever know.” I cleared my throat. “And dad, this is the way you deserved to die, with the way you treated my mother, you deserved to die in that fire.” I started to tear up, and my voice got shaky. “I hope you’re rotting in hell where you belong you bastard.” And with that I stormed off to the pew, sat down, and gave Ollie back to Amanda, and held my head in my hands.

Ethan was looking at me in shock as he walked back to the pew. He sat down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder and I lifted my head up and looked at him.

“Are you okay Nicci? You seemed upset at your father when we were at the caskets..”

He took his hand off my shoulder and I leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"Can we talk about this later? At the breakfast nook."

"Yeah" He whispered back.

The service started, and they closed the caskets. I flinched at the sound of the caskets closing.

“Are you okay Nicci?” Ethan asked suddenly.

“Yeah. I-I’m just scared.” I replied.

“It’s okay to be scared. You’re saying goodbye to the people you love. I would be scared too.” He replied chuckling.

I chuckled. “Yeah. I guess you would.”

“Hey, um, I’m gonna leave early, after I say my eulogy. Would you be able to stand outside with me?” I asked him.

He smiled. “Yeah, that sounds great!”

The pastor came up and said a few things about my mom, and my dad. I scoffed and rolled my eyes at every kind word said about my father. Then, after the pastor was finished, it was my time to go up. I got up from the pew and Ethan grabbed my arm and looked up at me.

“You can do this”

“Thank you.”

I got up to the stand, and layed my paper out in front of me.

I cleared my throat.

“We are gathered here today to remember my Mother, Samantha Walker, and celebrate her life. For those of you who don’t know me, or don’t remember me, My name is Nicole Walker, and Samantha was my mother. I just want to say, thank you all for coming. My mom meant so much to so many people, it means so much to see you all here. I wish she could see the crowd that’s come out to remember her

I don’t really know how to do this, I wasn’t planning for my parents to die so soon. They didn’t deserve to go this way, especially my mother. But here goes..

Let me just start by saying that, mom, I can’t believe that you’re gone, You were taken out of so many people’s lives too soon, you taught me everything I know, you taught me how to be passionate, you taught me how to be considerate, and kind. And how to treat others with respect, but you were more special to me than you think, but now that you’re gone, who am I going to call when I need advice? Who is going to laugh at my dumb jokes? Who’s going to remind me that everything is going to be alright? You were more than a regular mother, you were the first person I’d call when I needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to celebrate with. My mom was always celebrating my achievements. she was an inspiration to, not just me, but so many other people, and I can’t believe she’s gone.

Samantha lives on through us, especially her friends and family. she shaped so many of our lives and leaves behind great memories, but now it’s time to say goodbye to Samantha Walker, loving mother, wife, and sister. Gone, but not forgotten.”

Everyone in the church applauded at my heart-warming speech, I walked back to the pew, and grabbed my jacket. Then headed for the door and Ethan followed.

We stood outside on the steps in front of the church.

“That was beautiful. You’re beautiful. I-I mean..”

I chuckled. “W-what. what are you talking abou--”

Then suddenly, Ethan kissed me, passionately, but it didn’t last long. He ended his kiss, and looked down.

I pursed my lips. “Ethan, what was that?”

“I-I’m sorry Nicci. I shouldn’t have done that, it was uncalled for.”

“No,” I moved closer and put my hands in his and he looked up. “It was.. nice.”

After looking at me, confused and nervous, for a few moments. He smiled, and leaned in to kiss me again. This time it was longer, and more passionate then the first one.

After a couple seconds Amanda walked out of the church to come check on me and Ethan. But she quickly walked back in after seeing what me and Ethan were doing.

I pushed away from Ethan “Ok,” I looked down and pursed my lips. “We have to stop. Amanda saw.”

“I’m so sorry Nicci.” He replied.

“You two lovebirds done?” Amanda said, chuckling.

“Y-yeah, we’re done.” I replied.

Amanda came out, Ollie behind her, and looked at me.

“Aren’t you coming back in to see them bury your parents?”

“No, I want to leave.” I demanded.

“Oh, well, here’s the satchels with a portion of your parents’ ashes in them.” She handed me two black satchels, the first one she handed me had my fathers’ name engraved in it, and the second on had my mother’s name engraved in it. I smiled.

“Thank you.”

Amanda picked up Ollie and we walked to the van, she buckled Ollie in, and Ethan and me got in. We didn’t talk to each other the whole way back to Happy Home.

I looked out the window, and thought to myself.

′What am I supposed to say to Ethan? How am I supposed to talk to him, or hold his hands without thinking about the kiss?′

Then I felt Ethan’s hand on mine, and I looked at him.

“Are you okay Nicci?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I replied.

When we got to Happy Home, Amanda undid my hair and put it back up in a ponytail, and gave me back the clothes I was wearing this morning.

“We’ll go shopping for new clothes in the morning, ok?” Amanda told me.

“Ok, I can’t wait!” I replied excitedly. “Also, is the picture I had in my back pocket still there?”

“No, I have it in the locked vanity drawer.”

“Can I have it back please?”

“yes, of course.” She unlocked and opened the drawer and gave me back the picture, we were all sitting at the picnic table, my dad took the picture, so he wasn’t in it. My mother was holding Ollie, he was a baby at the time, and she was smiling at the camera, and I was holding her arm, my head leaning against her. I was so happy.

“Nicole? Are you okay” Amanda asked, snapping me out of the trance I had found myself in.

“Yeah, it’s just this picture is really special to me, it’s the last thing I have of her, well, Ollie too.” I replied, slipping the photo in my back pocket.

“Ok, well, it’s time for bed, okay?”

“okay.” I left the back room where I saw Ethan sitting at the breakfast nook.

I walked up to him smiling.

“Hey Ethan, do you want to hang out in mine and Ollie’s room tonight?”

He stood up quickly and smiled.

“Yes, I would love that Nicci!” He replied excitedly.

“Ok, come on.” We walked over to the room, and he opened the door for me.

“Why thank you, sir.” I said, chuckling.

“You’re very welcome.”