After a full day in Washington, I come back to the hotel to get ready for the last night of my trip. Tonight is Adoration Night, one of the most important parts of the March for Life experience. High school students from Mount Carmel to Rummel are gathered here tonight, each with the same goal: to connect with Jesus. I have never been to Adoration before, so I do not know what to expect, but I hear that it is an amazing experience.

“After our speaker, we will be offering the sacrament of Reconciliation in the rooms directly connected to this one.” says one of the trip leaders. This makes my heart skip a beat. I know that Confession was also being offered tonight, but I am nervous to go. My mind starts racing with a thousand thoughts. I haven’t been in a while. What if I forget something? Will the priest judge me? I look at my friends to see if they are going. One friend, in particular, looks at me and says, “Don’t go just because other people are. You have to want this for yourself.” At that moment, as nervous as I am, I realize that if I don’t go now, I will regret it. I take a deep breath, say a quick prayer, and head to Confession.

As I sit with the priest, I know he can tell how tense I am. I start with what I remember, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, it has been about a year since my last confession.” As I confess my sins to the priest, I notice the way he nods at me. It is almost as if he is telling me, “It’s okay, just take a deep breath. God is with you.” As I continue with everything I am supposed to say, I feel myself becoming more relaxed. Before being given my penance, the priest says something that really sticks with me. He says, “I know how important it is to ask for God’s forgiveness, but it is also just as important to forgive yourself.” Once those words leave his mouth, I feel a huge weight lift off of me. I release the breath that I did not even realize I was holding in, and I allow myself to feel at peace for the first time that night.

As I leave Confession, I feel overcome with the Holy Spirit. The overwhelming feeling of faithfulness was enough to make me want to cry. I walk back into the main room and see that Adoration has begun. I kneel in the back of the room, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. As I am kneeling, I take notice of what is happening around me. PJ Anderson, a Christian singer, is in the front of the room, singing “O Come to the Altar.” There are screens in the front, inviting everyone to sing along with him. As I read the lyrics, I feel a lump in my throat. I feel myself wanting to cry, but I fight it as much as I can. I want to stay strong. I look around the room in an attempt to get my mind off of the tears I am trying to hold in. To my surprise, though, many people in the room are already crying. Seeing the way that God must be acting through them is enough to make me break down. I start crying, but not out of sadness. I realize that I am crying because I am so happy to be where I am. I think about how faithful I feel, and about how this is another chance for me to gain the relationship I really want with God.  

As I continue to feel God’s presence in the room, I notice the priest walking around with incense. The incense has a strong smell, almost bittersweet. He is walking around, oscillating the incense as he goes, stopping in front of certain people. I notice that every time the priest stops, the people he stands in front of are making the sign of the cross. This is not something I have ever seen before. For some reason, however, watching this happen makes me really feel at peace.

As I continue kneeling, I decide to start talking to God. “God, I know You are with me. Despite everything I have been through, I can feel Your presence within me and everyone else in this room.” I look up at every other person in the room with me. I look around at the friends I have made on this trip, and again at the people I might not know. In that moment, I ask God to bless each and every one of them, and I am confident that He does. As Adoration comes to an end, I take one last look around the room and thank God for allowing me to be here.