“Amelia you’re going to be late!”

I open my eyes in a flash and look at my clock. I have 15 minutes to get up and get to the bus.

I laid my clothes out last night, so that’s a huge relief. I throw on my pants and my shirt and check the time. Only 10 more minutes. I run to the bathroom and brush my teeth and hair. 5 minutes. 5 minutes! I throw on my shoes and run right past the kitchen and my mother. No time for breakfast, I have to make it to the bus!

“Bye, Mom!” I shout as I run out the door. On a normal day, I would leave my house 10 minutes before to make it on time. It is a long walk from my house to my bus stop. Today though, I have no time to walk. I have to make it to my stop in 2 minutes max if I want to get there before the bus.

I sprint down the road like my life depends on it. Cheer season ended a while ago, so I’m a bit out of shape. I get more and more out of breath. My lungs feel like they are being stabbed by my ribs every time my feet hit the pavement. How did I survive Cheer? I can’t even run a few blocks without getting dizzy. Then I remember, I didn’t eat breakfast. That would explain it.

I grow closer to my stop and see my bus waiting, kids going up the steps.

“Wait!”

I try to pick up my pace, but I’m too dizzy. The last of the kids get on and the bus driver drives away, leaving me standing in the road. I turn around. I pull out my phone and click my mom’s contact. My thumb hovers over the call button. My mom never takes me to school. She never “has time”. My mom is also a big believer in the fact that kids should have responsibility. Waking up late and missing the bus, isn’t exactly responsible. There’s no way she’ll agree to take me.

I shut off my phone and shove it in my pocket. I need the exercise anyway. I take a deep breath and begin to make my way to school. I check my watch, 7:45. The first bell for class to start is at 8:15. It’s a 30-minute walk from my house to school. It takes 5-10 minutes to get from my house to my bus stop. Since I’m starting from my bus stop that’s a… 20-minute walk? If I’m right I should be at school before the first bell rings.

I keep walking, checking my watch every second. I suddenly feel my shoes fill with water. I look down, I stepped in a puddle of muddy water. My shoes are soaked and brown. I wanna scream but I don’t. Instead, I stare for a while, taking it in. I can’t turn around now, I keep making my way to school.

I start running behind. I check my watch, it’s 8:05, I should be walking into school right now. How did it take 20 minutes to get to where I am?

Finally, 15 minutes later I make it. I walk into school 5 minutes late and with mud filled shoes. I hate the rain. I quickly sign in and run to first period.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” I say as I walk through the door.

“Rough morning?” The teacher asks

“More than you can imagine”

She laughs.

“That’s alright. I was just collecting the homework from last night. Do you have it?”

I nod. I would hope that I have it. I stayed up all night doing it, it’s the reason I’m late today. Everybody waits as I reach for my backpack. It’s not there. I replay this morning over and over in my head, not once can I remember grabbing my backpack.

“I forgot my backpack. This morning was such a rush.”

“It’s fine just turn it in tomorrow. You’ll only get a couple of points taken off.”

ONLY a couple of points? It was 10 points altogether just 2 points will make it an 80. I also was struggling with it all night, so I probably got some wrong. I’ll be lucky if I get a 70 on it! This is so dumb! I stare down at my desk for the rest of the hour.

When the bell rings, I head to my locker, where I should hopefully have some of my school supplies. Some of my friends are standing in a huddle near it. They don’t greet me when I approach. Instead, they begin to whisper and mumble. I catch them glancing my way a couple times. It hurts to see them do this right in front of me. But, it hurts, even more, to think about how I’m used to it by now. They disperse and a couple of them make a face at me as they walk away. What happened to best friends for life? Whatever.

I start to make my way towards Biology. I sit down right as the bell rings.

“I graded your tests. I’m handing them back now.”

I cross my fingers underneath my desk, as my heart pounds. I say a thousand prayers. Please, please, please. I need this. She stops in front of my desk.

“Corrections will really help your grade.” She whispers to me. I look down at my test and begin to panic.

“So I can’t retake it?”

“I’m sorry, Amelia. It’s always been a rule.”

45/80

45/80

45…. Out of 80. I walk in a trance to my next class. And the class after that.

45/80

45/80

I pull out my phone. I divide 45 by 80. 56%. I open up my grades.

BIOLOGY: 55%

My grade dropped by 2%. Great. Now I’m failing even more than I was before. The bell rings for my current class to end and I go back into my trance. My soul has completely left my body. What’s the point anymore? I had studied so hard for that test! It’s like no matter what I do or how hard I try it will never go my way.

I somehow get to PE in my trance, not even remembering the walk there. PE, it’s all participation. At least I’m not failing this class. I walk to my locker in the changing room. My “friends” are in a huddle again. Talk about Deja vu. We all chose lockers next to each other because we were “besties”. I’ve never regretted a decision more in my life.

They keep staring and whispering as I put in my combination. I can’t hold it in anymore. I turn and look at them. They are all completely changed out.

“If you guys have a problem with me, why are you still standing here? You guys seem like you’re done changing.”

They give me weird looks and some roll their eyes but they eventually walk into the gym to get warmed up for class. I pull open my locker. It’s empty. Only my tennis shoes sit inside. Of all the days I could’ve taken them home to wash! I walk to my PE coach. She doesn’t say a word, she just points. I look to where her finger is directing. The “just-in-case” clothes. The backup clothes “just-in-case” you forget yours. Also, the ugliest clothes in the world. I look up at her.

“It’s all we got. Next time, remember your clothes.”

I pick out my size and throw them on quick. I run out and begin to warm up. I hear some soft giggles. I turn to see my “friends” staring at me and laughing. Grey. Grey shirt, grey shorts. That’s all the “just-in-case” clothes are. You can say my “friends” are a bit of fashion freaks, which doesn’t help my situation at all. I continue to look at them as one turns my way and says,

“Ugly. As always.”

Then she turns around and continues to warm up. I look around the gym, but the teacher is nowhere to be found. As always.

PE seems to drag on forever, or maybe it just feels like an eternity because I have to wear ugly clothes. We finally get dismissed to change back into our regular clothes. I put back on the clothes I wore to school and grab my stuff to leave.

“That outfit isn’t any better.”

I clench my fists and walk out the door. I quickly make my way to my locker, I don’t want to be there when my “friends” show up. Just yesterday they were walking me to my locker, now I’m afraid they will beat me to it. I wonder what I did this time. Or any time. Do I ever know why they are mad at me? Do I ever do anything to make them mad?

I open my locker and remember there’s nothing for me to bring home. I close my locker and make my way to my bus. When I arrive I sit in my assigned seat and close my eyes. I’m so glad today is over. When it reaches my stop I quickly get off the bus. I’m just ready to be home.

The grey sky matches exactly how I feel inside. I reach for the doorknob and try to turn it but it doesn’t move. Locked. I reach for my key and only find air. My keys are in my backpack. Which is in my room. Which is in the house. Which is locked. I pull out my phone to call my mom and find a text.

Staying late. I’ll be home in an hour or so.

There’s no point in calling her if she’s staying late. I suddenly feel a cold drop on my face. Perfect. Rain starts to come down fast. By the time my mom gets home I’m soaked. I quickly go inside with tears going down my face. I change my clothes and go to bed without any dinner. I’m just ready for today to be over. I fall asleep right away.

𐩘𐩘𐩘

I open my eyes. It was just a dream. I look around. There’s no sign of life, except for the dead roses on the side table. Not that I’m surprised. The nurse walks into the room and asks,

“Hey, Amelia. How ya feelin’ today hun?”

I open my mouth to reply, but no noise comes out of it. Once again, not surprised. She squeezes my legs and moves them, but I’m still unable to feel a thing. She writes some things down on a clipboard, then walks over to the table she brought in with her. It’s full of pills. There are so many different shapes and sizes. And so many colors that they make a million rainbows that you can get lost in and hypnotized by if you stare at them too long.

She helps me sit up and puts them in my mouth, one at a time. She gives me a drink of water after each one. I like to try to count them as she puts them in.

1...2...3...4…

I eventually lose track. The nurse says her goodbyes, then leaves me alone. I think about my dream. How it felt to walk on my own. How it felt to see my family and to be able to talk to people.That Amelia should’ve been grateful.

Tears start welling in my eyes. I want to go back. I want to fall back asleep and stay in that world forever and never wake up. I should’ve enjoyed it while I had it. That Amelia didn’t realize what she had.

Tears start falling even more. I want to go back. But, I can’t. Because that wonderful life was just a dream.