AS we arrived at school i looked around for the library.

the Krownsville Jr High is a huge school with 180 rooms. there's no telling what's in there. I finally found the library and i went to find a seat. When i found a spot that was quiet, i looked around and found that no one else was here “Finally i'm by myself” i smile as i pull my book out of my bag and start to read. “What are you doing here?” i look up startled by the voice, and what i saw left me breathless. He was a tall blonde boy and he was good looking i guess that's what they saw, but that's not what caught my attention. it was his amazing smile that met his eyes so perfectly. “ I-I was trying to find a quiet place to read my book. so i came to the library.” He sighed “ well, i guess you came to the right place. Not many people come here.” i looked down trying to not let him see my blush as he's talking. “ i-i guess…..” i could tell that he smiled again because of how his voice changed “ I'm Ryan. Ryan Mason.” i looked up shyly “ I-Im Raven, Raven Madison” i stretched my hand out to shake his. “ so what class do you have first?” i grabbed my schedule and handed it to him “ hey thats cool we have 2 classes together”, just as he said this the bell rang. “ come on i'll walk with you.” i got up and walked with him. we talked all through 1st and 2nd period. He asked me how i liked it so far being here,and where i lived before here. I was beginning to feel calmer around him than i did this morning. The bell rang for 3rd period “ I-I gotta go, i'll see you at lunch”, i smiled and walked to theatre arts. And waited for class to start.

 AS soon as i got to 4th period it was lunch time, and that means that Ryan will be there. Just thinking about it makes my heart melt. I sat in a booth by the window  hoping no one would notice that i was sitting here. “ Hey! i thought that was you.” i look up to see that Ryan was right there standing in front of me. he was smiling his amazing smile that just made my heart skip. “yeah, i'm sorry….” he looked at me for a long while like he was trying to figure out something that was frustrating him. like problems he just couldn't get on a math test. “ are you okay.. ryan?” i asked. He just shrugged like it didn't matter. I looked around after being so worried about him for a minute that at the time i didn't know why. But i guess that's what i felt. “I-I think that i s-should go….” i looked down nervous to see what his reaction would be, “ o-okay…, if that's what you need to do then it's okay” i looked at him. he was looking down like he was embarrassed to say that. this confused me. “ y-yeah.. i'll see you later”. i walked off thinking about his strange reaction to what i said. “does he like me or something?” “why was he being like that?” i just didn't get it. the bell rang and i went to 5th period in a daze.

that day i went home and walked straight to my room. as i layed there lost in my thoughts, thinking about why he was being like that after what i said. “Raven, you have a friend at the door!”

mom called up, it was probably Haven. so i got up and walked to open the door,and when i opened the door i knew that it wasn't Haven. “H-Hey Raven…” Ryan said looking down. i was so surprised that i couldn't say anything at the time. “ do you wanna hang out today?” now he was looking at me. “ H-Hold on” i told him. i walked to my moms room. “ mom can i go hang out with Ryan?” she looked up from her book” that's fine, but be careful.” i smiled “ thanks mom!” i walked back to him” yeah, let's go.” he smiled now. i didn't know where we were going.” wanna go to the skate park with me?” it's a good thing he asked before we left my house,” yeah, just let me go get my skateboard”  i started walking back to my house then i turned to look at him” y-you can come in if you want..” he followed me to my room. when we got to my room he sat on my bed watching me. “ my skateboard should be around here somewhere.” i said looking around my room. He smiled as he looked for it too. i turned to catch him looking at me, i looked down blushing. “ found it!” i said as i grabbed it. we headed out to the sidewalk. I don't know what it was but he couldn't stop smiling. He was acting weird around me. i don't know why.

“h-hey…..” he looked at me. I looked at him. i don't know why but i felt like he was the one for me. “ What is it Ryan?”, he was blushing! oh my gosh! “ i was wondering if...maybe you wanted to go out with me….?” i was so happy that i couldn't speak, so i just nodded, we walked around for a while, talking about our favorite things,and what we had in common was the coolest thing ever. He liked everything i did,and we were getting along. “ where did you live before here?” i asked curious. He stopped walking and was looking down” i-i…… i was living in an orphanage for a while. My mom dropped me off there when i was  6 and i was there til i was 8 and then i met my new family. they took me in after they realized what my mother had done….” i held his hand and made him look at me. “i'm s-sorry Ryan, I-I know how you feel..and i'm here for you”, he just stares at me with sad eyes, but that's not all i see in them. i see hurt and pain from the subject, but that's not why he's looking at me like that. “ i-is this wrong….” he looks away towards the now setting sun “ that i think i'm in love with you…?” Now when i look at him he's close to me. i have the urge to kiss him but i try to look away, he just turns my head to face him. “ tu es beau” then he kisses me. my body melts as his lips move soft against mine. I break away, breathing heavy “ i-i love you Ryan” He smiles, my heart is racing, and i'm so happy that i kiss him again. “ i-i gotta go …” he says then . I watch as he walks away wishing he could stay  but as i look he is already gone .Later that evening as I’m home with a book to read in bed and my phone starts to ring*ring x2* i look to see who it is ,it’s ryan i answer “hey” he replies “sorry about earlier… i got nervous explaining my past to the most amazing girl ever’’ i stared to blush as soon as he said that .we talked for a few hours and then momma said it was time for me to go to bed.

The next morning i woke up eager to get to school as soon as possible because i knew that the love of  my life would be there waiting for me.My normal routine as usual but i was in such a good mood that i didnt even notice jake was acting a fool . but then again i kinda did cause he over heard our my talk with ryan and kept asking “who’s your boyfriend Raven ”.i ignored his stupid idiotic questions but i guess my blushing gave it away.in my head thinking “oh my gosh does this kid ever shut up”.when i got on the bus i just had to tell Haven the  news.at school i saw him talking with some friends in the cafeteria by the stairs .i looked at haven and nod sneek up behind him and jump up and hug him from behind . he gasp “woah” i laugh and say “hi babe did i scare you” he laughs to and says “no not really” and i know he is lying because that’s how good i am at starling people and even his friends knew he was lying and greeted me finally begin able to meet me .We talked for a while and then walked to class.At lunch we sat together  and everyone was starring i tryed to not blsuh but i couldnt help it.Ryan saw that i was blushing and then says “you look so adorible”as soon as this words came out i could feel my face turning bright red and he just starts to laugh and say “babe why are you blushing so badly” i just said “cause im with you and you said that i looked adorible made it worse” it was funny so we both started to laugh .that afternoon we went to hang out at the skate park ,and as the day ended we kissed and then went home but that wasnt it he asked me something that i thought would never happen…. he asked if later on in the future if  me and him were still together then would i have married him.this was a big shock because there was something about me that stopped that from happening.

i dont understand what i did exactly but when i met him at lunch the next day he was acting really weird. “ raven….look…. i..” he stopped closing his eyes as if to say i can't do this it was really odd of him to be like this. i looked at him with wondering eyes” ryan, what's wrong..?” he looked at me finally but his eyes said it all. “ i-i can't do this anymore Ray. i just don't know what to do anymore.” he looked away. i got up slowly but as i tried to back up i bumped into someone and all i could see was her food falling on me and covering me in ketchup and ranch dressing. at this moment ryan looked at me in shock and hurt. “ i-i-i-” i got up and walked as fast as i could out of the cafeteria and as my feet hit the pavement i took off like flash. i walked into my room and i just broke down. the phone rang i looked at it and it was ryan. i didn't pick up, instead i threw the phone at the wall and shouted “ YOU DID THIS!!!!” i looked around and saw my pocket knife in the drawer next to my bed. i reached it and i cut once. it bleed.

the next morning i woke up and i put my hoodie on. i didn't really want to wear a short sleeve shirt because of what happened.  i didn't take the bus, instead i rode my skateboard.

when i got to school he was waiting for me, but i didn't stop i just kept walking. “Raven! wait up will you?! Are you listening?!” i didn't say anything until he grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him. that's when i did it, he crossed the line. i swung at him and hit his jaw bone. “ LEAVE ME ALONE!” he reeled back catching my arm which was now visible and he stopped with a sad look on his face. i looked at him furious and as he stepped back i yanked my arm away and walked away leaving him standing in the middle of the hallway.

the next day i rode to school and when i walked in there was something different…..

where was Ryan? was he missing? i shrugged guessing that he was with his friends.

as i walked into my theatre arts class the Announcements came on as usual.

“Good Morning students, this morning a special student has something to say.”

i was drawing on my binder just as i heard “ Raven, if you're here today i just want you to know something….” there was a long pause. How could he be talking about her? “i need you to know that i love you, and that i'm so sorry that i hurt you. i was being stupid and it was a mistake to let you go, i didn't mean anything i said.” i stood up and yelled “ LIAR!” and i took off and walked out of the room “please raven if your here please forgive me” i yelled so loud that he could hear me in the office “ YOU'RE SUCH A LIAR! YOU DID THIS TO ME!” and i took off out of the building in tears. Running into the woods towards my favorite cemetery i sat on a gravestone and just broke. i heard footsteps behind her ¨Raven, please stop and listen to m-¨ i turned to look at him ¨ no i will not listen to you! you were so selfish and me i was too stupid to see it!¨ tears fell from his eyes as he heard this from her ¨ when you left me did you think that it would be okay again? did you think that i wouldn't hurt or feel anything? ¨

at this moment he reached for his shirt sleeve and when she saw what was there she fell to her knees. she revealed hers they matched. and she was so confused that she couldn't even speak until he did,” raven, i'm so sorry that i put you through that. and i did this because i couldn't even look at myself in the mirror after what i did, it was selfish of me to do what i did. i thought that i was hurting you and i felt so bad.” Ryan's eyes kinda went misty. she looked at the now purple sky. she kept thinking to herself about the way she had felt after he had ended it. she sighed “Ryan…. look it wasn't your fault….it was mine to think that you really loved me and that i had some hope in the world.” he looked at her in shock “ b-but…?” she turned to leave then looked back “take care of yourself will you.” and she walked back to her class.