Soon, we reached ‘King China’. It had a big statue of The Lucky Man by the door, and bright colorful lights hanging outside, decorating the menu. When we took our seats, there was a short, perky lady with her hair tied in a tight bun asking us for what we want.

“I’ll take the Kung Pao Chicken, please.” I muttered. Before even taking Track’s order, the lady shrieked, startling me a bit.

“You look like his drawing…” she said loudly in her Chinese accent.

“What?” I said as politely as possible, slightly freaked out.

“Jason! Come here!” Okay, this lady was seriously creating some unwanted attention. In a minute, a gorgeous boy came to our table. There was something about him, the first look that I took, took my breath away. He had chocolate colored hair that was a bit long, but very handsome. His eyes were dazzling green, and were staring at me intensely. His creamy white skin glowed, pore less. He was very tall, and wore a fitted tee-shirt that showed off his rippling biceps. There was something about him that made him unreal, as if he were just an image, a figment of my imagination. That’s how beautiful he was, that it seemed like a dream. I had the sudden urge to touch him, and make sure that he was a real person. But I stayed in my seat. For a moment, just a moment, I thought I saw flames in his eyes.

“Yes, Michelle?” when he spoke, he looked at the waitress. His voice was deep, yet silky.

“Doesn’t she look like the sketch you were working on?” She pointed to me, snapping me out of my day dream.

He looked at me, his eyes locked with mine. His mouth was pressed in a tight, thin line, and his hands were clenched into fists. I got a strange vibe from him that gave me Goosebumps. After what seemed like forever, he said, “Um… no. Look, I have to get the order for table four.” And he just walked away, like that. Michelle took Track’s order of noodles and left, disappointed.

“Hmmm, that was weird.” Track said, taking a huge gulp of water.

“Yeah, it was.” I was talking, but still looking for the handsome waiter. What was his name again? While we waited for the food, we talked about all sort of random stuff, but she and I were so different. I was into Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, and her world was full of Metallica and Kiss. I watched reality TV shows about catty ladies who gossip about each other and she watches bizarre ghost voodoo things that would scare me to death.
After a while she got up to use the restroom, and my mind was occupied with a billion things. Usually, I don’t get crazed over boys. If I like one, then I keep it to myself. It was never a big deal. And I never told anyone about it. Well, with Sarah as an exception. But something about the boy that I just saw was driving me nuts. Something about him was enticing, making me curious. He was way too gorgeous to be an average waiter. Maybe he was a male model or something like that. If I had a face and body like his, then I sure would sell it for serious cash. Suddenly I was wondering all sorts of things. How old was he? Was I dressed okay? Did I look attractive or like some slob? Did he really draw something that looked like me, or was the lady just going crazy? As he walked by tables, I looked at him. This was the first time I felt so nervous and anxious over a boy. If he caught me looking at him, he’d think I was a psycho chic that he didn’t know.
Track came back and so did the food. We ate in peace and I managed to keep my mind off of him for a bit, but then he came and gave us our fortune cookies, and was obviously avoiding my eyes. What did I do? He gave the cookies to Track, and left without a word. Suddenly, I felt as if something was wrong with me. Did I smell? Was there a zit on my forehead or a piece of broccoli in my teeth?

Again, I wasn’t being myself. Normally, I don’t obsess over my looks. Of course, I take a shower and make sure I look fine before going out into public, but I never get self- conscious. Mom always says that I’m very pretty, but honestly, I think I look like an average teenager. I’m an inch taller than my mom, and pretty thin. I have stark-straight hair the color of ebony that goes all the way to the small of my back. My eyes are hazel with long eyelashes. Despite the fact that mom is Polish-American, I took on my dad’s Native American side with my caramel skin. It’s funny; when I was little, I used to imagine myself running in the woods, hunting animals while wearing deerskin boots and a deerskin dress, like Pocahontas. Who was I kidding? I’m the world’s number one klutz… Anyways, the point is, I have never been worried about my looks. But suddenly I started noticing the bad qualities that I have: Split ends on my hair, my overbite, and my natural klutziness.

I opened my cookie and read it out loud: “Nothing is as it seems.”

“Wow, that’s deep.” Track said, popping two sticks of gum in her mouth. “Mine said that you will have a successful future.”

“At least that’s positive. Mine isn’t, I don’t think…”

“Oh who cares? It’s just a dumb fortune cookie. Like it’ll come true.” She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes again. We paid our bill and started walking back to campus. The cool evening breeze blew gently on my face, causing my hair to stir slightly. The sun was setting and the street lamps were getting brighter and brighter. There were people just coming out; to go to restaurants or the movies or clubbing. A large group of kids from the university even walked by, hollering and acting super hyper. I assumed that they were having a back-to-school party (you know, without the school stuff involved).

We were almost on the campus, but as we were passing a narrow alley, I swear I saw a shadow creep up and go back once it realized I looked. “Stop!” I held my hand out to stop Track from walking anymore. She was startled and grabbed my arm, about to twist it the way she twisted the dumb blonde outside our dorm.

“GOD! What the hell are you doing?” she whispered loudly.

“I think I saw something back there…” I cautiously stepped backward and looked into the alley. For a mere one second, I saw it. The waiter from the restaurant. For some reason, it made me want to run back to my dorm, lock the door, and hide under the blankets. I walked back to Track and said, “It was nothing…”

She laughed and said, “Lydia, you’re crazy.” And we walked to our dorm.

That night Track fell asleep quickly, and started snoring very loudly. Unfortunately for me, it took more than soft pillows and a warm blanket to get me to sleep. My first day of school, of college, of being away from the reservation and the comforts within it. Butterflies were churning in my stomach which made it harder to sleep.
I, Lydia Shayne, was about to start her brand new life tomorrow morning. I tossed and turned restlessly. So I decided to just stay up and read a little. My alarm clock read 1:03 am. I turned the light on and grabbed a random book from the shelf. It was Pride and Prejudice. A classic that I’d read a billion times in two years. I started reading, and then gently fell asleep.

I was surrounded by rose petals… tons and tons of red rose petals. My nose inhaled the scrumptious scent of them, and I fell on top of the bed of petals. The sky was a magnificent light shade of blue, and the sun was shining. I could feel its rays warm my cold skin as I rolled around in my roses. I started picking up bunches of them and throwing it up in the air, letting it fall on me.

Then a voice called to me from above. “Nothing is as it seems…” I didn’t recognize the voice, but was too happy to be worried. Suddenly, the roses became hot. Burning hot. My skin started to burn, and I could smell my own flesh. I jumped up, my eyes horrified at what they saw. The wonderful smelling roses were gradually turning into fire. I tried to run, but everything was fire; everything. I looked up, hoping the pretty blue sky would still be there, but instead I found an endless red and orange atmosphere with smoke surrounding it. There was dark red blood drenching the floor, too. No matter how fast or far I ran I couldn’t get anywhere.

A face appeared. It was blurry, hidden by the flames. But it was laughing. A laugh so cruel and sickening, it was worse than any villains laugh in any horror movie I’ve seen. I was getting really scared, like I was going to faint or maybe even die right then and there. This blurry guy freaked me out. “You’re mine!” the voice this time was mocking, cackling at me, enjoying the scent of my fear. And out of nowhere, another man appeared next to the laughing man. His face was serious and intense, but looked very familiar. The chocolate brown hair and lean body rang a bell, but…

He disintegrated before my eyes. So did the cackling man that scared me. It was just the fire and I, alone. I felt the unbearable heat, engulfing me. Pain spread through my body, it was so real, so tangible…
I woke up, sweating bullets on my forehead. It was just a dream, just a dream, a dream, that’s all. But I was still panicked. Why would I dream such a horrible thing? Was I going mad? Was there some food poisoning at the restaurant or something? I shuddered, imagining that ugly face that was laughing at me. Sicko! I thought. I looked at my alarm clock. 5:45 AM. I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I went to take a shower. By 7:00 o’clock I was completely ready and scarfing down a warm blueberry muffin from the cafeteria. The sweet tartness was dancing across my tongue, which was begging for seconds. I washed it down with a cold cup of refreshing orange juice. Track came out of the bathroom with a robe on, and her face was free of make-up. She looked really… pretty. Much prettier than with all of that gunk plastered on her face.
Her lips were a soft pink and she had rosy red cheeks, adding color to her super pale skin. Her deep, ocean blue eyes sparkled even more and her hair looked more natural… wavier, full of life. I was about to tell her not to put on her make-up, but obviously she wasn’t a morning person, because by the look of her face, she was really grouchy when the alarm clock went off. Quickly, she started to pull on some leather pants; a t-shirt decorated with gruesome looking skulls and blood, and then leather boots.
I handed her a muffin as I did a final check of myself in the mirror. It was warm outside so I wore a sunny yellow skirt, a fitted white tee and a jean jacket draped over it. It was comfortable and cute, especially with the brown sandals Lauri, my cousin, gave me for my birthday. She graduated high school three years ago and stayed on the reservation too. Most people on the reservation either continue in their family’s trade, or find a small job to put a roof over their heads, or become deadbeats who live on the streets with bottles of stolen alcohol. Only a few of us make it to college, and fewer graduate with a degree. I’ve promised myself and everyone else that I will finish school, travel, and write books.
I grab my books and laptop case and walk to one end of the campus, while Track goes to the other. With a deep breath, I prepare for the next four years of my life.

I walk into the huge room filled with rows and rows of cherry wood chairs and desks, with a gigantic blackboard and chalk in the front and a large wooden desk facing the students; this was obviously meant for the professor. I take a seat in the middle of the rows and pull out my laptop out of its case, ready to take rapid-fire notes.

The whole room falls silent as the sharp click of heels makes its way to the blackboard. A petite lady with fiery red hair tied in a tight ponytail clears her throat and presses her gray skirt-suit. She has a stern look in her face and her wrinkles add about ten years to her. “Ladies and Gentlemen… welcome to Creative Writing Class; I am your Professor, Professor Mantel. In this class, you will learn to take the embers of your imagination and ignite them into a fire of creativity and genius.”

Her words were so captivating that I was literally leaning in closer to hear it better. She handed out the course syllabus and went over a few writing techniques. But all of my brainpower was focused on the semester project- a fifty page short story on any topic of our choosing. It could be a comedy, a tragedy, a romantic piece, or whatever ‘Satisfies our fresh young minds!’ to put it in Professor Mantel’s words.

I left the class keeping in mind the professor’s words: “Remember that all great writers take their experiences and their life and spin it into an entertaining piece. We all write for just three reason’s- to entertain, to express our feeling’s, but most importantly, to tell a story.”

That was when I knew that I had to tell the best story for my semester project. There was no question about it.
I grab my books and laptop case and walk to one end of the campus, while Track goes to the other. With a deep breath, I prepare for the next four years of my life.

I walk into the huge room filled with rows and rows of cherry wood chairs and desks, with a gigantic blackboard and chalk in the front and a large wooden desk facing the students; this was obviously meant for the professor. I take a seat in the middle of the rows and pull out my laptop out of its case, ready to take rapid-fire notes.

The whole room falls silent as the sharp click of heels makes its way to the blackboard. A petite lady with fiery red hair tied in a tight ponytail clears her throat and presses her gray skirt-suit. She has a stern look in her face and her wrinkles add about ten years to her. “Ladies and Gentlemen… welcome to Creative Writing Class; I am your Professor, Professor Mantel. In this class, you will learn to take the embers of your imagination and ignite them into a fire of creativity and genius.”

Her words were so captivating that I was literally leaning in closer to hear it better. She handed out the course syllabus and went over a few writing techniques. But all of my brainpower was focused on the semester project- a fifty page short story on any topic of our choosing. It could be a comedy, a tragedy, a romantic piece, or whatever ‘Satisfies our fresh young minds!’ to put it in Professor Mantel’s words.

I left the class keeping in mind the professor’s words: “Remember that all great writers take their experiences and their life and spin it into an entertaining piece. We all write for just three reason’s- to entertain, to express our feeling’s, but most importantly, to tell a story.”

That was when I knew that I had to tell the best story for my semester project. There was no question about it.

As the whole class was shuffling out of the classroom, I gathered my books and tried to make it on time to my next class. Once outside, I started rushing, and eventually began to run. Being late was not a good first impression on a professor. That’s when I saw him. I was going too fast to stop so soon, and I ended knocking right into someone. He got pushed a couple of inches, and seemed a bit dazed, but I dropped all my books and landed on my bottom on the floor.

I got up, brushing dust off of my skirt when he turned around. I almost squealed when I saw him. It was the guy from the Chinese Restaurant and the one who I swore was watching me and Track from the alley. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry.” The words rushed out of my mouth as I began to pick up my books that were scattered all over the floor. The boy smiled, flashing his pearly white teeth, and then bent down to help me gather my items.

“No problem.” he said in a silky tone. I was about to start moving toward my history classroom again, but then he followed me.

“Um, what are you doing?” I asked, trying not to look at his eyes, because I could feel the Goosebumps crawling up my arms again.

“Walking to history class.” He gave his slightly messy hair a swipe with his hand and said, “How’d you like Mantel’s class?”

I tried looking around the walls, the floor, the window, anywhere but his big, gorgeous, bright green eyes. “I think she’s… talented. I can tell by the way she talks and teaches. I want to-”
“To what?” he asked.
I was going to say ‘I want to learn how to perfect my writing. I want to be truly talented. I want to make something of myself.’ But I didn’t want to be too personal, so I said, “I want to make it to class on time.”

He laughed as we entered the history classroom; I was greeted by a cheerful, pudgy old professor with a scruffy gray beard. His name was Professor Grey and when he talked about World War I he appeared to be in LaLa land. The rest of the day zoomed by. Science, Math, and Journalism classes went by quickly. I went back to the dorm, exhausted and felt drained of energy. My fingers felt sore and bony from typing so fast and so much on my computer. I drank some water, but despite the feelings of fatigue I also felt a surge of power.

Yes, a surge of power… a feeling of satisfaction. After just one day of classes I felt like my brain had soaked in a month’s worth of knowledge. I grabbed my laptop case and walked outside. I didn’t know where I was going; I just wanted to get the feel of the sun on my face. As much as I love my classes and dorms, back on the reservation I used to go outside for hours at a time. I would just climb into a tree and read, or jump into the pool where I saved Sarah’s life.

Sarah… suddenly, I felt homesick. I missed the sight of mom, grandma, grandpa, and Sarah. I saw a little café and made my way in. Without ordering coffee or hot chocolate, I sat on a small stool with a table facing the front windows and opened up my laptop. Soon I opened a video chat window and within seconds, Sarah was on it. Happiness rushed through me and I had to do everything to keep me from squealing and embarrassing myself in front of all these people.

But Sarah couldn’t contain her happiness, and she squealed. Her short curly hair was tied in a ponytail with curls popping out at the end. She shared the same coffee-skin features as me and the black hair. But her nose was thin and pointed, and she was tall; the tallest girl in the reservation. She had an extremely thin and bony figure, and her eyes were about three shades darker than mine. “Sarah! I’m so happy to see you.” I exclaimed.

Sarah held up the bracelet I made for her when we were ten years old and smiled a goofy, toothy smile. She’d been flashing these ever since she got her braces off. “Lydia! Oh wow, it’s really you! How’s Point Park? Are you writing any genius stories or poems?”

I giggled. “No, not yet. Point Park is amazing! I absolutely love it… but I’m homesick.”

“Don’t be! We all miss you here. By the way, I have really good news…” I gestured my hand for her to continue. “I got a job at the bakery!”

I smiled widely, knowing that this will get Sarah one step closer to what she’s always wanted. Ever since she learned how to work and oven, owning her own bakery was her dream. I had always asked her to make my birthday cakes, and she was really talented. This job will give her more experience, and hopefully her own shop. “Whoa, that’s great! That’s really, really great! Good luck. When I visit in the winter, the first thing I’ll want is an apple pie.”

“Of course!” She exclaimed, turned around, and then looked back at me with a worried expression, “Um, Lydia? I’ve got to go.” She started biting her bottom lip, which was never a good sign when we were kids.
“Why? What happened? Is everyone okay?”
She darted her eyes back and forth and then said, “No, I-I’ve got to go.” She shut off her computer before I could say anything. Huh. That was weird… my stomach started to twist in knots at the thought of if something was wrong. But Sarah would tell me, so I shouldn’t need to worry, right? She was always the more talkative one of the two of us; never able to keep a secret.
I packed up my laptop and went outside, wondering if I could find a bookstore nearby. The sun was still out, so I decided to take a walk and find a place to buy a book. I was in need of immersing myself into a story where anything can happen. After fifteen minutes of aimlessly strolling, I found myself on the path to the Chinese Restaurant. I was about to turn around, but then I saw a sign for a bookstore that guaranteed fifty percent off for every book. The store was at the end of the alley, and I was hesitant to go in, but decided to man-up and go get what I wanted.
There was dust and cobwebs and spiders crawling all over the molding brick of the alley. My hands were on the handles of the door when I heard a loud scream that made me jump back in fear.

The scream was more like an angry growl; a growl of a man with an extremely deep voice. I was a bit shaken by the fury in it. “Why have you not gotten the scroll yet?!” His voice was hideous, worse than his growl. It was a deep, rough, scratchy kind of voice; and clearly not happy.

“I’m sorry, but I have something that will make up for it.” This was a different voice. It was strong and manly, yet very silky. It seemed so familiar. I looked through the glass door, and saw the same guy from the Chinese restaurant, and the hallways! What was he doing here? “I have the girl. Well, at least I have seen her. She looks like the drawing from the angels. With her, you can get what you want.” I was getting very scared. Who was this girl? It seemed like she was in danger. I was wondering if I should run away and call the police. But something made me stay, and listen to the rest of the conversation.

I tried looking further into the store, to see the other man whom he was talking to. But there was only one person in the room. It looked like he was talking into a big fire that was lit inside of a gigantic fireplace, about the room. The rest of the room was covered in piles and piles of papers on cherry wood desks. What a great bookstore. “Are you sure of it? The girl whom you have seen is identical to the one on the drawing?” That word ‘drawing’ rang a bell. The lady at the restaurant had said that I looked like his drawing! Maybe, just maybe, I was this girl they were looking for. Goose bumps ran down my arms and legs. If so, then I was in danger.

But then again, the lady seemed a little overworked that day, perhaps she just thought that I looked like some drawing she had seen somewhere else. “Yes, she is the one.” Then the fire went out, without any extinguisher, and there was no other voice in the room. It looked like the guy from campus was going to turn around, in my direction, so I ran back to the dorm as fast as I could.

After running until my lungs were on fire, I made it to my dorm, slammed the door, and plopped my laptop case onto my bed. I started pacing the room back and forth nervously, attempting to figure out what the hec just happened. “Whoa there! Chillax Lydia, you look like you’re gonna hyperventilate.”

I spun around to find Track, chewing gum with her iPod stuck in her ears. She pulled it out of her ears, tossed it on her bed and swung an electric guitar, hooking it up to an amplifier. I looked at her confused, “Where’d you get that from?”

“What, this?” She pointed to the guitar, and I nodded. “It’s my world… I love jamming out on this thing.” She started playing some chords, and then a few songs, which were really good. Track is super artistic…

I enjoyed her music and was slowly able to forget about what I heard in the alley. It was probably just some kind of freaky coincidence, with a logical explanation behind it. It’s just too bad I didn’t get to get a book. After a while, I lay on my bed and dozed off slowly. In the middle of the night I woke up to some strange sound. It was like a low moan. I got out of bed and slowly tip-toed to the window where it was coming from. I opened the window, afraid to look outside, but determined not to be a chicken. It was really windy. I was getting the chills, and about to shut the window and go back to my warm bed. But something grabbed my shoulders from the outside. All I saw were big, beefy man-hands. I screamed and started flinging my arms like crazy, trying to escape the hands that were grabbing at me. I let out another scream. I pulled towards the room, but the grip on my shoulders was getting tighter, and tighter, and I just couldn’t fight it off. Suddenly, the grip on my shoulder’s loosened and I fell hard onto the carpeted floor, butt first.

Then comes Track with her guitar and starts swinging, almost hitting me in the head. “Track! Track! Knock it off!!!” I yell. Finally she puts the guitar down.

“What… was… THAT!!!???” she yelled, clearly infuriated. “I thought someone was trying to kill us or something. You’re so-”

“I’m not crazy. Someone was out there.” I point a shaky finger at the window, “It grabbed me… or he grabbed me.” But Track had already fallen back asleep onto her bed, snoring away. I groaned in frustration and finally went back to bed, after closing the window.
The Phone Store

The rest of the week went by quickly. I had spent most of my time studying, walking around town, or drinking countless cups of coffee to keep me awake at night so I could finish my homework. School was fun, but stressful. On the reservation things were completely different. Everyone participated in discussions, and I would almost always have the answers to questions that my teacher asked us. But over here, I’m just another one of the students who are racing to get their assignments in on time; not the shining pupil that all teachers want in their classrooms.

I’ve gotten to know Track well, and she’s not that bad of a roommate. Usually she plays her guitar or doodling something in a blank notebook she has. I don’t know when she makes time for her homework, but obviously she does since she hasn’t been kicked out of Point Park. Every night she comes to the dorm and spends an hour playing her beloved guitar. At first I tried to tune her out and focus on my work, but her obnoxious amplifier was way too loud, so I eventually gave up and dedicated that one hour a day listening to her.

But there’s something strange going on at home. I know it in my gut… I’ve emailed mom three times this week but I haven’t even gotten one reply. I tried video chatting with Sarah, but she wouldn’t come online. I even tried calling my grandparents, but no one would pick up. When I left, they were all so sad to see me go. I had gotten promises from everyone at school that they would email and text me and keep in touch, but I haven’t gotten a single word from the reservation since I talked to Sarah in the café. Yesterday out of frustration, I threw my cell-phone against the wall because that was my sixth attempt at calling someone from Virginia. My cell-phone shattered into tiny pieces and then I groaned, because now I needed a new cell-phone. Track agreed to come with me to the Sprint Store downtown and get a new phone on Saturday.

Saturday Morning: The two of us quickly dressed, grabbed two bottles of Gatorade and blitzed out the door. It was a chilly morning, so I pulled my hood over my head. Unlike me, Track embraced the cold and let out her arms in an exhilarated movement. “Ahhh… the cold is beautiful, isn’t it?” she said, her eyes shut while she breathed deeply.

“Not really… my face is freezing out here!” I exclaimed while shoving my hands deeper in my jeans pocket, looking for warmth. Finally we reached the Sprint Store and Track immediately got lured in by some new phone that she just had to have (despite the fact that she didn’t throw her phone against the wall. That was me.)

So I went off by myself browsing the display cases for something that wouldn’t max out my beautiful new credit card. I finally found one that I might want to buy, so I looked for an employee to help me decide. My eye caught someone in a yellow t-shirt and loose jeans. I walked over and tapped him on the shoulders. When he turned around I rolled my eyes.

It was the guy from the Chinese Restaurant. I racked my brain for his name, and then remembered that the Chinese lady had called him Jason. Why was he here? Why did he seem to appear wherever I went? He smiled the same smile that I saw in the hallways and said, “Hey, it’s you.”

I nodded and said, “Yes, Lydia. Um, do you work here?”

He looked down at his t-shirt and laughed, “No, I just wore the wrong color today to get my new cell-phone.” He ran his fingers through his hair. Jason seemed so calm, relaxed, non-chalant. I looked around for Track, wanting to get out of here because a strange uncomfortable feeling was going through my body. He looked right into my eyes and said, “You’re Lydia, right? I think your poem was great yesterday.”

At first I was confused, but then I remembered. Our first creative writing assignment was to write a poem on something that we love. Naturally, I chose the reservation, which was an ironic choice because I can’t get in touch with anyone from there. Anyways, Professor Mantel read my poem in front of the whole class and said that my work was absolutely fantastic. I snapped out of my deep thoughts and replied, “Thank you. I worked really hard on it.”

Jason turned his head to the side and then looked back at me. Then he spoke in a quiet voice, “So I was wondering if you could help me with something…”

I looked at him questioningly and said, “That depends on what you want me to do.” Instinctively I started twirling my hair with my index finger. When we were in high school, Sarah gave me some tips on how to flirt with guys. When I realized what I was doing I stopped, and shoved my hands in my pockets.

“I have an assignment for an art class I’m taking. I have to draw something that inspires me. I wanted to draw you, writing a story or a poem.”

That struck me as odd for a moment, but then I asked him, “Why do I inspire you?” It was a genuine question. We barely knew each other.

He smiled and said, “When I heard your poem, it really stuck to me. You’re talented, and you doing what you do best, writing, is an inspirational thing.” I was flattered by this comment. It was such an honor to hear something like that, and I couldn’t help but smile so widely that it reminded me of how Sarah smiled when she got her braces off. “So will you do it?” he asked again.

“Sure.” I replied, and his face lit up.

“Can you do it tomorrow at noon? We can meet at the Chinese Restaurant and have some lunch too.” I nodded, and was about to say something else when Track came by, locked my arm with hers and pulled me away angrily.

“What is your problem?” I said, yanking my arm free once we got outside.

She examined her nails as she said, “I am never coming into that damn store again!” As we started walking back toward campus, I dared to ask her why she was so angry. “The lady there said I couldn’t get the phone I wanted because my credit card was maxed out. I had gotten into a fight with the manager. They said I was banned from the store.” She popped in two sticks of gum in her mouth and started chewing furiously.

I stared at her and asked, “You didn’t get violent now, did you?”

She rolled her eyes and said, “No, not this time. But I was close to it.” We both laughed and then she said, “So what did Mr. Hottie want?” she nudged my shoulder playfully. I explained to her about how he wanted to draw me because my writing and I are his ‘inspiration’. Track tugged at her skull earring on her right ear and said, “Sounds like a date to me!”

“No it is not!” I exclaimed, somehow embarrassed by the thought.

“Well, he is cute. And if this isn’t a date, you should grab an opportunity to make it one.” She laughed at the expression on my face, which was a mix of annoyance, embarrassment, and the urge to start laughing uncontrollably. We made it back to the dorm, and I made a cup of cocoa to thaw off my freezing body. Track grabbed her guitar and started playing some song from the band Kiss, which I had never heard of.

After draining my cup of the sweet chocolaty liquid, I licked my lips and started to work on a history assignment. The rest of the day went on, and I even agreed to watch a ghost hunting show with Track, which was surprisingly entertaining. I made her sit down and watch ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’, which she hated at first, but then got into the rhythm of all the catty fights and rumors.

Before I knew it, it was midnight and I had started to doze off on the beanbag chairs. I shook Track awake, who had rolled out of her beanbag and onto the carpet. We both went to bed with the television still on, but the volume on low. I finally turned it off in the middle of a fight at a dinner party, when one lady just flipped a restaurant table over. Talk about violence… no wonder Track started to like the show.

I dreamed about being back on the reservation, sitting on the edge of the pool with only my feet dipped into the cool, soothing water. Someone was next to me, but I couldn’t make out the face. All I heard was “Help, Help…” the voice belonged to a woman, and it was coarse and tired. Then the figure next to me slumped onto the grass, and stopped breathing.

Despite my sleepiness, I woke up at nine o’clock and immediately began to doll myself up. I spent a long time in the shower, enjoying the hot water on my skin, and then I put layers and layers of fragrant lotion on. Track was still asleep, so I tried to be quiet, but when I blow-dried my hair, she woke up, startled. “Don’t worry, it’s only me.” I said softly as I turned the machine off and began to search through my box of earrings.

Track got up; rubbing her eyes and messing up the makeup that she forgot to remove last night. Slamming the bathroom door shut, I heard a loud, long yawn. I was ready: A striped turquoise and green shirt, dark jeans, and a purse with a long handle thrown over my left shoulder, falling all the way down to my right hip. I grabbed a notebook and pen and shuffled out the door with a biscuit from the cafeteria in my hand. I was so preoccupied with getting ready that I had forgotten how hungry I was. The biscuit was finished by the time I came to ‘King China’.

I walked in, and found the place crowded with hungry college kids, some of whom I recognized from classes. But only one stood out immediately: Jason. He wore another t-shirt, which was a faded red, and another pair of jeans which were fitted at his waist. He calmly strolled to me and said “Hey Lydia.” I waved, hoping that there weren’t any biscuit crumbs on my face. He led me to a small back room with one window, a desk, and two chairs. Beside the few notebooks on the desk, the room was completely bare.

I took a seat and paused, unsure what to do. “Um… so, do I just start writing anything?” I ask.

He smiles, pulls up his sketch pad, and said, “Do whatever feels natural. Like no one is in the room.” After a brief moment, I cross my legs, prop my head up by placing my left hand on my chin and open the book. At first, my mind is blank. I start panicking, not wanting Jason to feel that he made a bad choice by asking me to model for him. But then images start to flow into my head; horrible, gruesome images that I couldn’t ignore. So I wrote about them.

It seemed like hours had passed by when Jason whispered, “I’m done.” He looked at his finished product, satisfied. I don’t look up until I am done writing the last sentence of my chilling piece. When I am done, we both look at each other and swap notebooks. I take a look at his sketch and am blown away.

It’s absolutely… inspiring. He has captured every single detail that not even I noticed. He drew my hair, and every little strand that hung by the handle of the chair. He drew in my narrowed eyebrows in full concentration, and even the stitching on my jeans. He drew high cheekbones and darkened the parts of my face that were covered by the shadows of the window. But the most amazing part was how he drew my eyes. My almond-shaped eyes with every eyelash drawn. He even drew the little wrinkle that was made because I was squinting. His knack for drawing and detail was the best thing that I had ever seen.


He gasped and said, “Lydia, this is great stuff. I can see everything that you wrote so… clearly.” He began to read what I wrote: ‘Spine tingling, bone crushing, gut wrenching. The sight is enough to make your eyes burn. The smell is putrid and reminds you of the most rotten strips of meat ever to have been sniffed. The shiny, sharpened knife glints in the darkness. This knife had tasted the blood of so many others was now drawing nearer to me. I closed my eyes, clutched the silver pendent hanging over my chest… the chest that was about to be skewered. The dust forms into a blinding tornado and everything that I know is shattered. I scream a scream of agony, as my blood spills onto the ground.’

I swallow, realizing how dark and disturbing things I had written about. How did I come up with this? I had no clue. I just did. Jason just had his eyes open wide, in disbelief. “Now this is inspiration! How did you write this?” he asked, eager for more.

I scratched my throat and said, “I don’t know… maybe some horror movie I watched.” I try to smile, but the darkness of my writing is scaring my own self. “But you’re drawing was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen…” I say honestly.

He chuckles and says, “No, it was just a sketch. Maybe what is in the drawing is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.” He stopped laughing, and was serious. For some reason, that uncomfortable feeling rose again and I got up out of my seat, and bolted out of the door. I didn’t know if Jason ran after me, but the whole thing was a blur. I was back in my dorm, but this time tears were streaming down my face. And then I knew why… Jonah.

Jonah was the reason for all of these uncomfortable feelings and embarrassment when Track mentioned that my meeting with Jason was a date. Jonah was the one person I could count on for anything. He and I knew each other since we were born, because our fathers were best friends. The two of us would always stick together, even when I became Sarah’s companion. Sarah, Jonah, and I grew up as close as the three musketeers. He stayed up with me all night, helping me study for a math final when we were in eighth grade. When I was sick and fell down the stairs of my house in tenth grade, he took me to the hospital because my mom was at work. When his sister had the flu, Sarah and I came to take care of her so that Jonah could compete in a cross-country race at school that he’d been preparing for his whole entire life. We were always there for each other.

All of those years of joy and friendship gradually turned into something else. I started to like him… a lot. I would spend hours deciding how to dress or wear my hair in front of him. Whenever I saw him, I couldn’t help but notice all of the great things about him that made him attractive. He made me laugh, made me feel good. But I was too much of a chicken to tell him how I felt. It was either I was afraid of being turned down, or that I didn’t want to wreck our friendship if things didn’t turn out well; I guess it was a combination of both. But now I’m regretting it. Whenever I think about him, I feel stupid for not saying anything before I left.



And this is why I’m so uneasy over here around Jason; especially when he called me beautiful. I feel like I’m betraying Jonah, even though we never went out or anything like that. I could suddenly see him, helping out his dad, who was a builder. Jonah and his dad, along with a few other people would be in charge of house repairs or constructing new buildings. That’s what Jonah continued to do after graduation. He was as tall as Jason, and very strong. I remember how mom would send me out to invite him and all of the other builders for lunch at our house. Jonah would always be in an undershirt since the sun was hot and he was moving things around. His short, messy hair was as dark as the rest of ours, and he had caramel skin like mine, except when he was working it would always be glistening with sweat. He had large, doe-like brown eyes that were innocent and childish, and always made me laugh.

I missed him now, and thought of him more than ever. The only soul who knows that I liked him was, of course, Sarah. I told her about everything, and she was shocked; completely beyond shock. Even though she and Jonah were great friends, there was always that closeness between him and me. I never expected to start liking him, but it just… happened. I debated on whether or not to try to contact him, and after a while, I grabbed my laptop and went on video chat.

I opened up a window and waited for him to come on. It took minutes for him to respond but finally he came on. I was just glad to see someone from the reservation. I blurted out, “Jonah! You’re there!” He looked like his hair had grown from the last time I saw him, but his eyes were still soft and innocent as ever.

He smiled widely, revealing a dimple on each cheek. “Lydia, it’s you.” He reached forward and picked up a can of Pepsi, took a swig, and set it down. “How’s college?”

I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and said, “It’s okay, I guess. My writing’s getting better. Hey, is everything okay on the reservation?”


Jonah’s eyes suddenly darted back and forth, and then he cocked his head to the right. His nervous behavior reminded me of how Sarah acted on video chat last week. “Um, it’s nothing really.”

I leaned in, as if that would get me closer to finding out what happened. “Jonah, I’m worried sick over here. No one is replying to my emails or calls. Tell me what’s happening!” My voice is raised slightly to let him know that I was serious.

But all he did was sigh and say, “I don’t know Lydia, I’ve-” There was a woman’s voice calling him, it sounded like Sarah, then he said, “I have to go, Lydia. Bye.” And then he signed off, leaving me with a blank screen, and a loss for words. His voice rang in my head. What was wrong? The one time I tried to talk to him, the person I practically loved in high school for four years, just said hi and bye. He was gone in a flash. My heart ached.

As the tears were about to leak, Track walked in, looking sick. Her skin had gone paler (which I thought wasn’t possible), her lips were chapped, and her eyes looked groggy. On top of everything else, she was moving slowly, like she was so fragile that at any moment she would fall to the ground. She moaned, held her hand up to her temple and started rubbing it in pain. Then came the coughing fit. Once she started, she couldn’t stop. I got up and walked her to her bed. After she drank a glass of water, her coughing fit ceased.

“What happened?” I said softly as I pulled the blankets over her.


She looked up at me and whispered, “I threw up in drama class. I think I have a fever.” I grabbed a plastic bag for in case she vomited again, and offered to make her some soup. But she refused, and went to sleep. Meanwhile, I tried to distract myself with homework. By the end of the day there were piles and piles of papers that I had to clean up. Once spotless, I lay on my bed and tried to find comfort in the blanket and pillows. Eventually after staring at the ceiling for a long time, my eyelids felt heavy and I gently fell asleep.

I dreamed about being home again. This time, I was in my house with Sarah and Jonah. Sarah went outside for some reason and it was just me and Jonah sitting on the couch. Jonah glowed… he looked absolutely gorgeous. But then he came closer and closer, attempting to kiss me. I backed away and then he transformed into Jason. The skin lightened, the eyes went from brown to green, and the innocence changed to natural charm. Jason came closer to me to, trying to kiss me like Jonah was, but I got off the couch and ran outside. I ended up in the woods that surrounded my backyard, and didn’t know how to get out

The next morning Track was still sick, so I left some medicine on the counter for her, and told her to go to the health center if she needed anything else. I quickly got dressed and left the dorm with my books and laptop case, wanting to get the day over with and be back in the comfort of my warm bed.





In class I focused one hundred percent of my attention on what was being taught. My mind was buzzing with all of the information being stored in it, and my fingers were typing notes faster and faster until I felt a searing pain in them. After my last class I walked around the building, just wanting to take in a breath of fresh air when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and immediately wished I hadn’t come outside. It was Jason.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned, “What happened yesterday? I tried to run after you but you were too fast.”

I put my hand to my temple like Track did and said, “Sorry, I have a headache. I should probably get back to my dorm.” I was about to start walking, but he put out his arm in front of me, obviously not buying my lie. I should ask Track for some acting tips…

“Lydia, if I made you upset yesterday, then I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come on like that.” He didn’t look angry or hurt; he just looked concerned for me, and wanted my forgiveness.

But the thing was, he didn’t do anything wrong. It was because of my situation with Jonah, not him. After graduation, I had tried to make myself forget about Jonah, and that I shouldn’t have feelings for him because he’s my friend. “Jason… look, it’s not your fault that I left like that. It’s just something that happened in my home in Virginia. You don’t have to apologize.”





He moved his arm out of my way and smiled, then said, “Okay, that’s great. By the way, the art professor loved my sketch of you.” We both smiled, I feeling even more flattered, and then he said, “Do you want to see more? I have a ton of them in the backroom of the Chinese Restaurant. Michelle, the owner, told me I could use that room to keep my art.”

I was about to refuse his offer, but then I figured, what the hec? If I just went back to my dorm, I would have to cover my mouth from Track’s sick germs, or work on homework, or sit in boiling frustration about Jonah and what’s happening at the reservation. “Yes, I would love to.” I answered, following him to the restaurant.

It was a gray, cloudy day. The wind was howling and I even felt small raindrops on my head. We reached ‘King China’ before the drizzle transformed into something worse. It wasn’t as crowded as yesterday, but there were still people here and there talking and enjoying mouthwatering Chinese food. The two of us made our way to the backroom, and Jason started to take out portraits that he painted. There was some of the restaurant, one of a beautiful meadow, one of the woods on a sunny day. But the painting that stood out the most was one of a man. He was an eye-catching man, with stunning features like glossy black hair and fiery red eyes. In the picture half of him was an angel, with half of a halo, one pure white wing, and a golden robe. There was a glimmer of light on that half of him. But on the other half of him was a red devils’ horn, a matching red tail popping out of the corner of his back, and a black triton dripping fresh, dark red blood. That half of the background was painted darkly. I was taken aback by this, but realized that what I had written yesterday was pretty disturbing too.

“Wow Jason… these are magnificent.” I whispered, touching the painted angel wing, “I especially like this painting.” I pointed to the half angle-half devil portrait.

He comes closer to it and says, “I call it Abaddon” His eyes were glued to it.

“What?” I asked.

He snapped out of his trance and then said, “Oh… that’s a name for the devil. I painted him like this because he was an angel, but became the devil. He’s different.” Yes, different, very much like this painting. But despite the fact that it was different, I liked it.

We looked through some more of his sketchbooks and then decided to eat something. Michelle, who turned out to be really nice, gave us some noodles on the house. We sat in a booth, just talking about things like movies and books and music, when he started to ask me about home.

“Well, what do you want to know about my home?” I asked, not sure exactly if I wanted to reveal my private thoughts and feelings.

He swallowed his forkful of noodles drenched in salty soy sauce, and said, “How did you like it?”

I looked at him with my eyebrows scrunched together. “How did I like it? I loved it… it was my home, my sanctuary. Before my dad died, my house glowed with happiness. Even though he’s gone now, things are okay. My mom’s been the best; she takes on the job of the mom and the dad. I have two best friends there; Sarah, whose dream is to have her own bakery and Jonah, who lives for the thrill of cross country but is stuck building houses and repairing things with his dad. I loved to ride my bike to my grandparents’ house and see them every morning before school. I loved to swim in the pool where I saved Sarah’s life when we were six years old…” All of the memories flooded back, and it wasn’t like Jason and I were here together eating lunch. It was as if I was back home in the reservation and just relaxing.

“It sounds like you miss it a lot.” Jason whispered delicately. His voice snapped me out of my daydream.

I drank some water to clear my throat. “Yes, I do. So much. I love Point Park University, but I just can’t wait until winter vacation when I can go back home for a week.” There was quiet for some time, and I realized how late it was getting. I got up, about to leave when Jason took my hand.

“This was nice. Maybe we can do it again sometime?” he asks. I smile, knowing the answer is yes, but wanting the moment to last. His wondrous features just came to me… the sparkling, bright green eyes, the soft milky white skin, the rippling muscles, the pearly white teeth. All of it made me want to freeze time and just stay here for a while.

“Of course.” I replied, wanting to do something more. I wanted to hug or peck him on the cheek, or something. But anytime I moved closer, Jason just turned into Jonah; a face that I couldn’t betray.

I walked back to the dorm while it was pouring… hard. Jason offered me his hoodie, but I refused, and decided my best option was to run for it. By the time I reached the room, I was soaking wet. My hair was in tangled clumps, and my shirt was sticking to my body. I quickly changed into a pair of sweats and an old, baggy shirt that was three sizes too big for me. After drying my hair, I noticed that something was off.

Track! Where was she? She wasn’t in bed, but there was a note on it. In her messy handwriting, she had scrawled onto the paper: Went to the Health Center, come there ASAP!

Why does she want me to come there? I started to panic, hoping that she was okay. Quickly, I made my way to the nurse’s office. But when I opened the wooden door, the nurse wasn’t inside. I walked further in, and removed a curtain that split the room into half. And there she was, on the bed; but not alive and well, but lifeless. Her skin had gone whiter than a sheet, and her arms and legs were all spread out. Her eyes were closed and so was her mouth. Her hair covered some of her face, but it was limp. But what made me sick to my stomach was a big gaping wound in her chest, right about where her heart should be. There was still blood oozing out. I realized that I was in a pool of her thick red blood; but I didn’t care. What I cared about is that she was gone. Track’s was dead… I started crying. Salty tears ran down my cheeks like a fountain. “Track… no, please, no. NO!” I was going into hysterics. Rapidly, I grabbed my cell-phone out of my pocket and dialed 911. Then, I ran to find the Dean.

In a matter of minutes, the police, Dean Gable and I were huddled around Track’s corpse. From all sides, the police and the Dean were throwing questions at me; like, “How did you know to come here?” or “Was there anyone that was after Tracy?” or even “Did you two often fight as roommates?”

In my head, answers were buzzing around, and so were emotions. Right now, all I wanted to do was travel back in time and never leave Track’s side again. After a while, I put both of my hands up to stop all of the noise that was giving me a headache. “Stop, stop, stop!” I got everyone’s attention by freaking out. “Look. Track and I only met each other on the first day of school. We didn’t have any fights, and we became friends. When she was sick, I told her to go to the nurse if she didn’t feel better. After school, I found a note telling me to meet her here. When I came, she…” I realized how unsteady my breath was. Why didn’t everyone just leave? Just let Track rest in peace? I took a deep breath and then continued, in a softer voice than my previous shouts, “I don’t know what happened, but I think she would want to be buried, and not examined like a lab rat.” The officers that were poking and prodding her body for clues to what had happened stopped.

I handed over the note Track had written to the cops, and Dean Gable arranged for her family to be here for the funeral. She was going to get buried in a grave close to the University. Before the Paramedics took her away, I let my last memory be of her pale, emotionless face, hoping she was okay where ever she was now.

After the crowd left, I came to the dorm, fell on my bed, and started sobbing. My pillow and blankets were soaked in my tears, and I didn’t sleep a wink the whole night. The haunting images of me and her together, eating at King China, at the Sprint store, her beautiful music from her guitar kept me up. I paced back and forth repeatedly, looking at her glossy black guitar, her Goth wardrobe, and the bed she used to snore on… Any time I tried to close my eyes, images of her piercing blue ones would wake me up. Her eyes… the one part of her that stood out from the whole mascaraed of skulls and leather boots.

The next morning, I woke up with a heavy feeling of grogginess, and I was in no mood to go to my classes. Lazily, I slipped into the shower and put on a pair of old jeans and a faded t-shirt. Not my best outfit, but it reflected the way I felt on the outside. I grabbed my laptop case, books, and was just about to step out of the door when a hand stopped me.

It was Dean Gable. He wore a gray suit, which matched his buzz-cut gray hair. His face was stressed with wrinkles, and he looked exhausted. But I doubt I looked any better. “Lydia,” his voice was deep and command-like, “You’re excused from your classes. Track’s family wants you at the funeral. You’ll be riding with me in a taxi.”

He was very blunt, and I replied, “What about her stuff?”

He scratched his head and said, “Can you pack it for her parents?” I nodded, and then left. After shutting the door, I found Track’s suitcase, then started to fold her clothes into it. Piece by piece, I was almost done. I found several sheets of music that she must have used on her guitar. I held it close to my heart, folded it, and placed it in her suitcase also. I carefully picked up her guitar, and left for the taxi with the Dean in it.

The ride was silent; dead silent. Well, except for the occasional cough of Dean Gable. It looked like he was coming down with a cold, because he kept on sneezing, too. The twenty minutes of sitting down gave me time to think… but all I could think about was the liveliness and attitude that Track carried with her. She presented herself as confident, she was talented, and she was a great friend.

Everyone arrived at a small grave with a few headstones carved with names. The place reeked of sadness, desperation, and death. I shuddered when Track’s body came in a glossy brown box with a white cross on it. I glanced to my right, where her family stood.

An older woman, with a mix of blond and gray hair stood with a clump of tissues in her hands. She was tall, and wearing a black fur coat draped over her shoulders. I could hear her small sobs. But I noticed that she had identical stunning blue eyes, just as Track did. Her skin was less pale, and her lips were a dull pink. Next to her was a taller man with sandy brown hair, matching eyes, and a mustache above his lip. His eyes looked red, and so were his nose. He put his hands on the woman’s shoulder and whispered something into her ear. Beside the man was a very young and pretty woman; she had the same blonde hair and blue eyes as mom, but without the streaks of gray in it. She was considerably shorter than the rest of her family, but her skin was a creamy white, and her chest kept on moving up and down slowly, as if trying to breathe.

The church’s pastor said a few words about Track, and then she was buried forever. Never again to see sunlight, or feel its warm rays. She wasn’t going to get to laugh or play her favorite songs on her guitar, nor crank up the heavy metal music on her iPod and deafen her ears. What had happened? Who killed her? What ruthless beast would do such a thing? The police are still investigating the crime, but there weren’t any witnesses or any fingerprints anywhere to look further into.

But it doesn’t matter anyways… Track’s dead, and no matter how many people are thrown into jail, she will never come back to life, ever.

I walked over to Track’s family, and tried to smile. However, trying to be brave after sobbing your heart out was still tough. The older woman, who I was guessing was Track’s mom gave me a hug and whispered into my ear, “Thank you for being there.” When she let go, her face was streaked with tears. “I’m Tracy’s mother.” She took another tissue and blew her nose into it. There was an eerie silence before the other, younger woman stepped in.

“Lydia… I can’t tell you what it meant to all of us that you called the police and just-” She was about to cry, so I took her hand.

“No, no. It’s the least I could do. Track was a great person.” I smiled and then let my hand slip from hers. The man, who I guessed was Track’s father, didn’t say a word. His throat seemed too tight to say anything. I picked up Track’s suitcase and handed it to her father. Then, with a sigh, I gave her prized possession, her guitar, to the young lady who was Track’s older sister. She told me her name was Susan. “She loved this thing; used to play it every night.” I said, pointing to the guitar.

“I know…” Susan whispered, “It was all that she would do when she got home from school, even as a little kid.”

I said my good-byes to Track’s family, who were obviously distressed right now. Dean Gable paid for a taxi ride for me back to campus, because he needed to speak with Track’s parents. On the way to my dorm, it started to rain. First, a steady drizzle, gentle enough to make me fall asleep. But quickly it became a pounding shower of water, creating deep puddles that I sloshed through when I got out of the taxi.

But as I opened the door to my dorm, a hand grabbed my wrist. I screamed.

The hand quickly went to my mouth to muffle the noise coming from it. Then I looked and found that it was Jason. He removed his hand and sighed. “You scared me!” I yelled when I got over the shock that was taking place in my body.

He moved his hands back defensively and said, “Sorry! I just wanted to see you.” Without him saying anything else, I opened the door that led to my dorm with the gold key and motioned for him to come inside. I plopped onto one of the bean bag chairs, exhausted, and he followed. “Nice place.” he mumbled.

I tilted my head, wondering if he was being sarcastic, but too tired to analyze his every word like usual. “So why did you want to see me?” I asked, folding my arms.

“I heard about your roommate. I needed to see if you were okay.” His eyes showed concern for me, and I forced the tears that were about to rush forward to go back. I wasn’t going to cry; not again.

“Um, well…” I looked around the room, attempting to find a distraction, but I kept coming back to his eyes. Then I gave up on hiding my mask of bravery. “I’m not doing well. I screamed because I’ve been paranoid that whoever killed Track could come for me. And Track never deserved to die. And I’m so confused because…” That’s when I spilled everything out to him. Everything. From my feelings for Jonah, to my confusion and worriedness about what’s going on at the reservation, to seeing Track’s corpse and her mourning family. Everything rushed out like a waterfall.

And so did my tears, again. Those little droplets of water that I was trying so hard to contain just flooded out like the rain outside. Before I knew it, Jason was out of his bean bag chair, and hugging me. He was holding my shoulders and gently stroking my hair, trying to comfort me. Then he wiped the tears off of my face and looked at me with his shining green eyes and said, “Lydia, I know what you’re going through. I’ve seen loved ones die, right in front of me. I want you to know that you can like whoever you want to like. But I like you… just know that you can take your time, no rush. And if anything bad was happening at your home, then your family would tell you. So don’t be worried, and don’t cry. I hate to see you like this.” His words were soft and gentle, like him. But they were reasonable and made sense, even if I felt guilty for telling him about Jonah.
Jason stayed there, hugging me for a while. Then I got up and offered him something to eat or drink. Eventually, the two of us were sitting next to each other, sharing a bowl of popcorn and watching “Titanic”. It was a tragic and romantic story, but the only thing on television. Besides, it kept my mid focused on the character’s problems and not mine. By the time the movie was over, I had dozed off, and was on Jason’s lap. A sudden jolt woke me up.
I then realized that Jason had picked me up from the chair and was carrying me to my bed. When my eyes opened he whispered, “It’s okay. I’m taking you to your bed.” The last thing I remember was him pulling the blankets over me, and giving me a kiss on my forehead. A part of me wanted to move away, to tell him to leave me alone. That was the part of me that was still back at the reservation, next to Jonah. The other part of me wanted him to stay there, wanted him to plant another kiss on my forehead. But my sleepiness overruled both parts of me and I fell asleep…
Bright and early the next morning I was awakened by someone opening the door. Messy and half-asleep, I looked at who it was, hoping for it to be Jason. But it was Dean Gable; along with another girl. The two of them walked in the door and he said, “Hello Lydia. This,” he pointed to the girl and smiled, “is your new roommate, Celia Owens. Please make her feel welcome and show her around if you get the chance to.” Then, as quickly as he walked in, he walked out.
Celia was a petite girl. About four inches shorter than me, with curly hair past her shoulders, the color of peanut butter. Her face was sprinkled with freckles, and she appeared to be very timid. Celia’s eyes, though, were an exotic gray color that had a little sparkle to it. I got up out of bed and held out my hand. “Hi, I’m Lydia. Welcome to Point Park!” Slowly, she shook my hand and showed me a faint smile. Celia walked over to Track’s old bed and started unpacking her things. While she was doing that, I couldn’t help but wondering: How come I have a new roommate so quickly? Track just died two days ago, and it would be more respectful to wait at least a week.
While my new roommate was getting settled in, I tried to make conversation with her. But she would just nod, shake her head, or say ‘I don’t really know’. All I’ve gotten from her is that she moved from Denver, Colorado, is studying biology, and doesn’t like Chinese food (that was what she said when I asked her if she wanted to go and grab some lunch). When I asked her about other places to eat, I just found out that she also dislikes Pizza, Subs, and anything with chocolate in it.
Frustrated, I just said that I’d go somewhere and bring her back something (if I found anything up to her food standards). I grabbed my credit card and laptop case, and decided to get some pizza from a place right next to ‘King China’. Actually, first I stopped by ‘King China’ to look for Jason. I came right on time, because he had just finished his shift.
As he was hanging up his apron, he saw me and waved. I pointed to the door for him, signaling to meet me outside, because it was way too crowded in the restaurant. Soon, he was outside. Before anything was said, I blurted out, “Jason, thank you so much for being there last night; it meant a lot to me. I think I would have completely broken down if it weren’t for you.” I was smiling, knowing that every word of it was true… one hundred percent true.
He put his hand on my cheek and said, “That was nothing. I would do it again if I had to.” We both walked to ‘Paulo’s Pizza Palace’ and ordered cheesy, greasy, oh-so-good Italian Pizza. We started talking and then I pulled up my laptop, hoping for anyone to be available for video chat. My window was open all the way until our meal was eaten, and I was just ready to sign off when Sarah’s face appeared on screen.
My face lit up with happiness. With my last video chat with Jonah, I didn’t think anyone from home would talk to me. “Sarah! Oh my gosh, why haven’t you been keeping in touch with me?!” I asked, half angry, half eager just to be able to look and speak to her again.
Sarah shrugged and said, “I’m sorry Lydia, I’ve been really busy with the bakery. Mr. Voltz, the owner, went on vacation and I’ve been running the place for the past week.”
I wanted to get upset with her, but I couldn’t. It was just a miracle to have her in front of me. “It’s okay, it’s okay. So how is everyone? Mom, your family, my grandparents, you?” I ask, wanting to make sure everyone is fine, just in case she is hiding something from me.
“Everyone is doing great. So is Jonah.” She smiled.

That’s when Jason came to my side and looked onto the screen. Sarah gave a questioning look, and then cautiously said, “Hi…”
Jason waved, “Hey. You must be Sarah, right?” he ran his fingers through his sleek brown hair. Sarah just nodded. Then Jason turned toward me and said, “Lydia, I’m going to be late for my next shift at the restaurant. I’ll see you later, okay?” Then he kissed my cheek. Finally, he left.
When the coast was clear, Sarah gave me a quizzical look. “Who was that???”
I felt myself blush and say, “No one. He’s just a friend. Named Jason. No one, really.” I was stammering like an idiot!
“Lydia, please. I saw the way he kissed you. Friends don’t do that… plus, he is pretty cute.”
I groaned and raised my voice, “Oh please! Just because he’s good looking, doesn’t mean that anything is happening, okay?! Get off my case!”
Sarah burst into laughter, and then so did I. After a while, my gut started to hurt, so I stopped laughing. So did Sarah. “Okay, Lydia, calm down… no need to burst your pretty little head.” She flashed another one of her toothy smiles and then asked, “So, what’s up?”
That’s when I told her about Track. Sarah had a devastated look on her face; she always sympathized with anyone going through trouble, let alone her best friend. “I’m so sorry, Lydia.” She whispered.
“It’s okay, I guess. I mean, I can’t do anything about it.” She nodded, and then had to go. Apparently, there was another fat customer wanting more cake from her tired hands. I walked back to my dorm, and on the way there, I saw Jason.
I was just ready to turn around, wanting to be alone and in solitude, but then something made me walk faster toward him. Everything that had happened started reeling over and over again in my mind. Seeing Jason in all his wonder for the first time, him drawing me and calling me beautiful, Track thinking we were going on a date, and now Sarah making fun of me… all of this made me feel somewhat frantic. By the time I reached Jason, I felt an impulse that was tugging at my gut and urging me to do what I was about to do.
Without thinking twice, I took his arm and moved closer to him. We were on the sidewalk; leading up to the dorms, and no one else was outside. My heart was beating, faster and faster with every centimeter I moved closer. It seemed as if the whole world has stopped moving. It was just me and him. Lydia and Jason. It felt just right as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he put his around my waist. His already dazzling features popped out even more than usual, from the distance I was at. His sparkling green eyes, his flawless milky white skin tone, made me want to melt. I could feel his muscles. We were pressed close to each other, and then, finally, the little space between us was closed. Our lips touched. We were kissing.
The kiss lasted long, and when I let go, his face looked somewhat surprised, but also somewhat victorious. He had like me all along. When I came up to kiss him, it felt natural to him to kiss me back… the one thing I wanted to see how it felt had happened. “Lydia…” he breathed out, looking at me deeply.
Tucking a lock of stray hair behind my ears, I said, “Jason, when I saw you, I just needed to do that. I needed to know how it felt.” There weren’t exact words to describe my motive, or that impulse pushing me to go nearer to him. But I was glad that I had listened to it.
Jason came closer to me and said, “I thought you would never do that.” And laughed.
His lips were soft, and they kissed mine again; I didn’t want to let go, but I did. I didn’t know exactly what to do at that moment, but just look around, and take in the fresh air. But when I did that, I looked up at the building in which my dorm is at. And I saw a pair of gray eyes staring angrily at me from our window. Familiar gray eyes… Celia!
But that didn’t make sense. Why would Celia be watching me and Jason right now? She barely knows me, and all I know about her is that she’s a picky eater. Soon, the eyes went away, and Jason picked me up, swirling me above ground. I was a bit dizzy when he put me back down, but I couldn’t help but smiling. “Lydia, tomorrow, after our classes, let’s go to a special place.”
“Special place?” I eyed him suspiciously.
“Yes, special. Since tomorrow is Friday, we are going to a place where I have a lot of memories at. Just meet me at ‘King China’ after school, okay?” I nodded, and then walked back to my dorm.
When I was there, I found Celia curled up in a corner, with her eyes all over a textbook about the human anatomy. She looked up at me when I shut the door, on full scale alertness. Shutting the book, she asked in her sweet and timid voice, “How come you’re late?”
“Late?” I asked, putting my laptop case down, “I’m not late. It’s only seven o’clock. I was out with a… friend”
“Oh, I see.” Her voice became bitter sweet, and suddenly, I’m a little scared. First of all, she was creepily watching me kiss Jason, and second of all, she’s just acting plain weird right now. I tried to ignore it by doing homework, but I kept on feeling that behind me, she was boring her gray eyes on me and mumbling something foreign.

Months passed by with nothing but intense studying and staying up all night preparing for my exams. Celia kept to herself and would only talk to me to say good morning or ask me what time it was. I missed Track dearly… her music, her friendship, and her simple presence. I tried to keep my distance from my new roommate since the time I saw her glaring at me when I was kissing Jason.

Jason and I had been having a blast together. That Friday, he took me to an amusement park that’s been open for over a hundred years. Apparently his parents took him there a lot when he was a kid. We went on the rides, shared cotton candy, and wasted about twenty bucks trying to knock all of the pins down with one ball. But it was worth it. Every day I’ve seen him and been with him was better than the next. I’ve never felt this way about someone before. Yes, he’s gorgeous, but there’s more to him than just the way he looks. He cares about me; he has ever since the night that I broke down in front of him, and he was there for me. He’s funny and charming, and sweeps me off my feet. It’s like a magical feeling; so magical that not even I can write it down in perfect terms.

One night, I had come back from eating dinner with him when Celia was slowly chewing on some pasta. She swallowed a small mouthful and said, “Lydia, you have a package for you. I think your mother sent it.”

Without even saying anything, I threw my purse to the ground and ran to the small cardboard box lying on my bed. My mom, who I haven’t heard a word from since I left the reservation, who hasn’t responded to any emails or calls has finally showed me some proof that she’s still alive and well! I tore open the package and found a letter on top of a book. It was a journal. The journal was leather bound and contained fresh pages, just itching for me to write on. Next to the journal was an old school feather-pen, with a yellow feather which was my favorite color. I opened the letter and recognized the undeniable perfect handwriting of my mother. It read:
Lydia,
I cannot express how sorry I am for not calling you or replying to your emails. If you’re worried, you should know that everything is okay here back home. Your grandparents say hello, and I sent you a journal and a pen as a small gift; write your heart out in it! Things have been so busy at the laboratory. We’re working on figuring out new ways of therapy for cancer patients, so you can see how much time has been taken from me. I know that’s not an excuse for not calling you, but my hours has doubled from before you left. Being bio-scientist isn’t all what it’s cracked up to be! Anyways, I hope you’re having fun on campus (but not too much fun!) and everyone can’t wait to see you during your winter break. I think your friends are planning a party for you, so that’s one thing to look forward to. Keep on working hard and remember that I’m always here for you honey.









~Mom
I smiled at the letter, overwhelmed with joy from reading a letter from my mom. And also hearing about the party that was being thrown for me made me even more eager to go back home. Winter break was only one day away, and I had already booked my train ticket.
Taking my journal and feather pen, I sat on my bed and started writing in it. I didn’t write a story, or a poem; I just wrote about everything that had had happened to me since the moment I graduated high school. Writing this got a lot of tension off of my chest. By the time it was midnight, Celia was in bed and I had filled up five pages of writing. After I was satisfied, I put the journal and pen on my dressing table, slipped into my pajamas, and dozed off underneath my comfortable blankets.
I was transported into a dark forest with thick green trees and bushes. It was filled with deer and rabbits, and birds. But there was something off about them. They were all looking at me with wide eyes… wide red eyes. I walked deeper into the forest, frightened by the weird creatures. Then I heard the noises. All of the animals from before were making loud, ear-piercing noises, and were coming after me. I started to panic and run through the forest as fast as I could. The forest came to a dead end, with a blank white wall that was so bright, it was blinding. The animals flew past me and formed together into a shape of a human. Slowly, that shape constructed by the birds and deer and rabbit were morphed into an actual human. He was the human from Jason’s painting.
He was half-angel, half-devil. When he snapped his fingers, the white wall went ablaze with fire. It grew larger and larger, enveloping the forest and I. The man started cackling; it was the same cackle from my previous nightmare that I had a long time ago. I tossed and turned, wanting to get out of the nightmare, but I couldn’t open my eyes. All I saw was fire. The fire that engrossed me and caused me to scream loudly.
I finally woke up, shaken and sweaty, and found that it was seven o’clock in the morning. I looked down on Celia’s bunk to find that she was holding a small doll sewn out of cloth in her tiny hands, squeezing it and mumbling something incomprehensible. She realized I was looking at her, and then she threw the doll to the floor. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my left leg. I wanted to yell, but I bit my tongue and just got up to get ready for my classes.
As soon as I was ready, I grabbed my books and laptop case, and then headed out the door. When I reached Professor Mantel’s class, I took my seat, and found that Jason put his hand around my shoulder.
“Hey” he said coolly.
“Good morning.” I replied, taking out my laptop. When the professor came in, he mouthed something at me, but I shushed him jokingly. The class was just us working on our last essay before the break, and Professor Mantel giving us some tips on how to enhance our writing. I was half listening, and half typing away on my laptop. I finished my essay and left class early, since she dismissed me. I walked to the rest of my classes, but my mind was too focused on going back home. No matter how many times I would force myself to look at the front of the class, my eyes wondered off to the windows and doors and random items.
After school, I went to the café, hoping to talk to Sarah, and Jason went for his shift at ‘King China’. He wanted me to come with him but I refused. When I entered the café, the smell of coffee was too tantalizing and inviting, so I bought a cup, and then went on video chat. Sarah quickly signed on and I saw her in an apron. Obviously she was currently working in the bakery. “Hi!” I waved, hoping that I wasn’t going to get her in trouble for talking during her shift.
“Hey Lydia.” She wiped some flour off of her forehead.
“So I got a letter from my mom… are you throwing a part for me next week?” I asked.
She put her hands on her hips and said, “Yes, and I was about to tell you that. It’s going to be big. So I want you to buy a nice, fancy dress, okay?!” she happily squealed.
I sipped my coffee and then slumped my hand on my forehead. “Sarah, I don’t want anything big. A movie night with some popcorn would be just fine.”
“Well, too late! It’s already booked at the rec center, and all of your favorite foods are going to be served, so you should look nice.”
“Ugh! You just gave me an hour of shopping to do!” Despite that, I laughed, and so did she. But then something crossed my mind… “Hey, Sarah? When I come, can I bring a friend with me?”
“Um, yeah, sure; is it that guy, Jason?” I nodded, and then she smiled widely. “Okayyy... but where is he going to stay then?”
“Well, if he does come, then there are hotels nearby the reservation. Or the guestroom in my house, if my mom doesn’t mind.”
“Okay then. Lydia, I’ve got to go. But don’t forget the dress!!!” She logged off, and then I finished the last drops of my coffee and walked to ‘King China’. There I found Jason.
“Hey Jason.” I said.
“Hello,” he replied while hanging up his own apron.
“So I was wondering…” he looked at me curiously as I continued, “Sarah just said that she was throwing a party for me and I want you to come. You can stay at the reservation for break too.”
The two of us walked out of the restaurant and he said, “Well, that sounds fun. I was just going to stay here, but your plan seems better.” He smiled and I took his hand.
“Yes! I’m glad you’re coming. But you have to wear something fancy-ish. Apparently I’m supposed to buy a new dress.”
“Okay, but I’m not an expert there…” he raised an eyebrow. The two of us walked all the way to our own dorms, and when I came in, Celia was on the phone.
“No, no, no!!! I’m telling you, something weird is happening. The doll didn’t work, my pow-” She was whispering, but then spun around when she heard the door shut. She tossed the phone onto one of the bean bag chairs and showed a small smile.
“Um, what was that?” I asked, curious and worried at the same time.
“Oh, nothing… I was speaking to my dad. He’s just checking up on me, seeing how school is.” I nodded, not entirely convinced of her story, but not interested enough to really care. I’ve just accepted that Celia’s a weird roommate, and her strange actions can’t be analyzed logically.
The rest of the afternoon I wrote in my journal and finished up some leftover work that I had to do. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and watched TV, then felt tired and went to bed. For once, I slept quickly and without any nightmares. My mind was at peace, and nothing stirred me. It felt good; so good that I had forgotten how good feels.

The night before my train left, Jason came to tell me that his art teacher had chosen him to compete in some art competition over the break. I was happy for him, but that meant that he couldn’t come with me to the reservation for break.

A couple days ago, I had gone to the mall to pick up a dress for the big party Sarah’s planning for me. It took about three hours, twenty times of pulling in and out of different dresses until I found the one that I really liked. I haven’t showed it to Jason, but since he wasn’t coming he wanted to see how I looked. We were both in my dorm and I came out with my hair out, open and flowing. The dress I was wearing was a soft yellow, body fitted, and flowed at the bottom of my ankles. There was only one strap on the right shoulder and on my waist was a belt sparkling with yellow glitter. I held a black hand purse and smiled, feeling fancy and girly and somewhat self-conscious.

Jason’s jaw dropped as he said, “Wow… you look incredible.” He got up off the bean bag chair and came close to me, pushed a strand of stray hair behind my hair, and then wrapped his arms around my waist. I was pleased at his reaction.

“Okay, so now I know that I chose the right dress.” I sighed, “And now I’m gonna take it off, because the sparkles are making me itch.”

He put his hand out in front of me and said, “Wait.” Then he took me in his arms and kissed me. “I wanted to do that before you left.” I smiled then went to change into some comfortable clothes. When I came out Jason was about to leave when he said, “Come back soon, okay? It’s going to be a long week.”

I shook my head and said, “Oh please, I think you’ll survive.” He gave me a last kiss on my left temple and then went out the door. The rest of the night was filled with me tossing and turning. I was just too restless to fall asleep. I kept on waking up, looking at Celia, who was fast asleep. I eventually gave up and started to write in my journal. Then when dawn came, I speedily got ready and took my luggage to the train station.


The cab to the train station was quick, but the train ride was so long, that it was hard to have patience. Finally, I arrived in Virginia, took another cab to the reservation, and found myself in front of my home.

It was larger than most of the other homes, containing a crème colored porch with chairs on them, and a carpet outside the front door that has ‘Welcome’ written in cursive. The back of my home was surrounded by thick, lush trees that belonged to a forest. We never went in there; I’d always been secretly frightened by it when I was younger. Who knows what creatures lurk in the shadows over there?


Unable to contain my eagerness, I ran through the door which was open, and burst into the living room. Mom was sitting on the couch, but then got up when she noticed that I had come.

She ran to me and hugged me so tightly that I could feel my rib cage being squeezed. But I didn’t care. I was back home! Everything was the same as before I left. The small television hoisted up onto the coffee table, the worn out couches and the dark granite counters in the kitchen. Even mom looked the same. She had the same pale skin and wrinkles near her hazel eyes. Her hair was still wavy and blonde, with a hint of gray in it.
“Lydia, you’re back!” She let go of me and patted down my hair, “I missed you honey.”

At that moment I was glad that I was home. I wouldn’t want to be in any other place. Suddenly, the door burst open and I heard a loud squeal that I recognized instantly. I spun around and ran to hug Sarah. She squealed happily again as I let go. “Lydia!!! You’re here! Finally, are you ready for the party tonight?”

Before I could answer, another figure went through the front door. A tall, lean body with golden tan skin and large, innocent eyes. His hair was ruffled and he held out his arms for a hug of his own. Jonah…

I rushed into his arms without thinking about, feeling warmth deep down inside of me. He held me closely, then let go. “Jonah!” I said, not able to contain my excitement. Quickly, before I could even take in all of the people that I have missed and not seen for months, Sarah wedged herself in the tight space between the two of us. “Oh yeah, I’m totally ready to party.” I said, answering Sarah’s previous question.

She smiled and then said, “Well that’s good, and I hope your dress is fancy enough.”

I rolled my eyes and said sarcastically, “Yes, because I can’t pick out one decent outfit to wear by myself.”

Jonah put his arms around the two of us and said, “Looks like the old gang’s back together.” We all laughed, including my mom, who was walking in the kitchen and taking food out of the refrigerator.

“Sooo…” Sarah said, “I have a surprise.”
I eyed her suspiciously as she glanced between me and Jonah. Then she flashed her ring finger, which had a huge diamond ring on it and said, “We’re engaged!” She pecked Jonah’s cheek and waited for my response.

But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have any words to express how I felt. Shocked, maybe? No, that was an understatement. Sarah and Jonah, a couple? Married? Was that even possible? In so many years, not one romantic thing had gone on between them. Not one single thing. But a few months of me being gone and they’re engaged?!

That didn’t make sense. Completely zero percent… how did this happen? “Um… that’s great!” I forced a smile on my face, still unable to let go of the shock.

“Lydia! Sarah, Jason, the foods ready!” Mom shouted from the kitchen.

“Great, I’m starved.” Jonah said, heading for the kitchen before the rest of us. All four of us dug into the food. I had forgotten how good mom’s home cooking was. I swallowed down my food with a cold glass of juice and made my way towards second helpings.

Mom, Sarah, and Jonah were chattering away about random things, but I was buried deeply in my thoughts. No matter how many times I looked at Sarah, a slight pang of jealousy came over me. She looked so happy. Her whole face was positively glowing and she couldn’t stop smiling. The way she looked at Jonah, you could tell that she loved him. More than anything… and I guess that is more than my small little crush on him.

I tried to get over myself. I have Jason now. Sweet, Charming, Gorgeous Jason, who cares for me. I was going to be happy for my two best friends; they deserved that. “So how’s College?” Jonah asked me as mom went out of the house to run some errands.

I gulped down the piping hot food that was in my mouth and replied, “It’s actually pretty good. I just missed you guys.”

Jonah smiled and Sarah asked as mom shut the front door, “So where’s Jason?” she batted her eyelashes, making fun of me. I felt my cheeks go red.

“Um, he had to go to an art exhibit… it was really important.”

Jonah looked confused so Sarah cleared it up for him. “Jason is Lydia’s new hot boyfriend.” She bit her lip, trying to suppress a laugh.

I leaned forward and defensively said, “No, he’s not my-” But then I stopped. We had never really said that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Well… we kissed, we had classes together, we eat lunch together, and we kissed some more… I guess he is kind of my boyfriend.

Jonah made a mock kissy face as he said, “Oh, so Lydia’s doing more than just studying???”

“Shut up!” I playfully pushed his shoulder and we started cracking up.

After all the food on the counter had disappeared into our stomachs, I felt like rolling over onto the floor. I haven’t been this stuffed since I left the reservation. The three of us waddled onto the couch with our full bellies and started watching TV. Sarah and I wanted to watch ‘Celebrity Rehab’ but Jonah wanted to watch some dumb football game. After twenty minutes of grabbing the remote out of each other’s hands, Sarah shrieked, “Stop!!!”

Jonah and I let go of the remote that we were currently using to play tug-of-war like little ten year olds onto the floor. “What?” I asked.

“Guys, the party is in an hour. We have to get ready! Make sure you come to the Sheraton Hotel, okay?” She reminded me. Jonah put his hand to his head in exasperation.

“Sarah, we have an hour. It takes me like ten minutes. I want to see who wins the game.” He makes his way for the remote on the floor when Sarah runs and picks it up before him.

“Like a married couple already.” I look at them and started grimacing. “It’s good to be back home. Don’t worry, I know where the hotel is.”

The two of them left and I pulled myself into the yellow dress that Jason liked so much. I missed him, and wished he were here badly. But I wasn’t going to let anything ruin tonight. I was going to have fun with my friends.

It took me a while to finish putting on my makeup, because I kept on messing up my eye lashes. When I was fully ready, mom looked at me and said, “You look stunning honey!” She pinched my cheeks and I smiled, despite my skin hurting a bit after she let go. “Lydia, go and have some fun okay. You deserve it.” She kissed my forehead and I walked out the door with the keys to her car. I started up the engine and drove smoothly to the Sheraton Hotel twenty minutes from my house.

The first thing I said to myself when I saw the rec center was “Wow!” The whole place was decorated with bright lights. Splashes of yellow, blue, green, and purple filled my eyes. There were beds of yellow daisies surrounding the building, and a chocolate fountain with rich chocolate pouring out of it was in the lobby that I could see through the glass doors. I went inside, making a mental note to thank Sarah a million times for going through all of this trouble just for me. When I walked past the lobby and through the doors to the party hall, a bright smile lit up my face.



























This was like prom. Or graduation night. Or a combination of both. All of my old classmates were dancing and talking and laughing. I recognized every single face; coincidently, every single face turned my way when I walked in. I was starting to feel a little embarrassed when the click of Sarah’s heels as she made her way to the stage caught my attention. She was wearing a long black gown that suited her well. Her eyes were done dramatically and she had her hair straightened, in a bun, with a few strands hanging out elegantly. Clearing her throat, she leaned into the microphone and started talking:
“Here she is.” She pointed her finger at me and continued, “The girl of the night. The person who went through high school and made it to college. My best friend; Lydia!” There were a few claps and even some whistles. “I am glad that everyone made it tonight, and everyone should just have fun!” She got off the stage and then the music started blasted again with the DJ controlling it. Before I walked any further, Sarah and a bunch of other girls from high school enveloped me in a crowd. All I heard were ‘Oh wow, Lydia you look so good!’ or ‘We missed you sooo much’ or ‘How’s college? Is it better than the reservation?!’
I smiled and answered nicely, but when the music changed and everyone dispersed to dance, there was just Sarah there. Before she could speak I hugged her and whispered, “Thank you so much. For the party and the speech. You’re the best.”
She hugged me back and then let go, smiling. “I know I am. Jonah’s lucky to have me!” we both started laughing when someone made her way to us.
She was taller than me, but shorter than Sarah. She was wearing a tight-fitted strapless dress that cut off at her knees, which was a sparkling silver color. Her face was painted perfectly with makeup and her wavy dark hair with golden brown streaks fell down a bit below her shoulders. She swung her hips in a girly manner and I immediately recognized the face. Natasha.
Natasha was in my class ever since the second grade. She was always catty, girly, and snooty. Her dad was a lawyer and worth some major cash. Once she got to high school it was all about Prada and Gucci and booty shorts. And if you weren’t as shallow as Natasha then you weren’t cool enough to hang out with her. She dated about every guy in the school (except for Jonah, of course, because he wasn’t a sucker). “Hi Lydia.” She pursed her lips, eyeing me up and down. Why did she get invited anyways?
“Hey Natasha.” I waved my hand awkwardly, because it’s not like we’ve ever been great friends.
She flipped her hair sassily and a few younger boys almost started to drool. Uck, gross. “So how’s Point Park? Are you getting anywhere with the cute non-reservation boys?”
I was just going to ignore that question, because it wasn’t any of her business, but Sarah blabbed out, “Oh, you should just see Jason! He’s an actor! Or was it a model? That would be a good career choice.”
Natasha cocked her head to the side like she couldn’t believe that I had a gorgeous boyfriend. “Sarah, shut up!” I gritted through my teeth, and then said loudly, “He’s an artist.”
She just smiled wider. Natasha said, “Oh really?? Well, that’s great…” she opened her mouth to say more when Daniel, the ex-quarter back of our high school whispered something in her ear. She giggled and they both left, his hands tightly around her waist.
When the coast was clear I spun around on Sarah, “Why did you invite her?! Or tell her about Jason???”
She put her hands up in mock defense, “Stop freaking out Lydia! I just wanted to be nice, and if you have a hot boyfriend then why are you hiding it?” She had a good point, but I just didn’t want the whole world knowing about me and Jason. I felt like it’s a private thing; something secret, romantic. Or is that just crazy?
In the midst of my thoughts Jonah ran over and grabbed my hands, then Sarah’s. “What are you two doing? Music’s playing, let’s dance!” Without our consent he pulled both of us onto the dance floor, in the middle of a huge crowd. Noise was blaring and I was getting into the rhythm of the music; even if I don’t know how to dance. I found myself laughing and smiling, between all of my friends… all of the people I’ve known for a lifetime. I slipped into the fast paced beat of songs that I love listening to on the radio. Everything was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Until the slow song came on. The music was no longer upbeat and danceable, but slow and soft and romantic. Everyone grabbed onto their boyfriend or girlfriend (Natasha was dancing with two guys) and enjoyed the moment. But I was stuck, frozen, wishing more than anything that Jason was here. I wanted to dance with him; I wanted to hear his deep, silky voice talking to me, feel his body and warmth close by me, his lips brushing against mine as he gently kisses me. I felt like I wanted to go back to the University and never leave him.
All of the sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder and I was jolted out of my slight misery. I turned around, hoping the slow song was over and we could return to the pop music that I adore. I looked at the person who had tapped my shoulder and saw that it was Jonah. “Do you want to dance?” he raised an eyebrow and smiled genuinely.
I felt terrible. Not only was I such a loner without Jason, but my friend, who’s engaged, just asked me to dance with him to a slow song out of his niceness. He should have been dancing with Sarah; and he was, but I guess I looked really bad without a dance partner and he pitied me. Was I that pitiful? Suddenly anger took over my hurt pride, and I was going to come back with a snappy comment when he said, “Sarah’s fine with it. Come on, one dance. We don’t have to tell Jason.” He winked jokingly, and my trace of anger died down. I took his hand and started to dance.
Jonah was, surprisingly, pretty graceful and light on his feet. Well, at least lighter on his feet than me. We were actually ballroom dancing. I don’t know how I ever did it, but he was in control somehow. If I was about to trip, he would catch me and make it look like nothing happened. He spun and twirled me until I was dizzy and we were both laughing at it. Sarah was by the chocolate fountain, dipping a strawberry in and looking lonely. “I think you should dance with her again.”
Jonah winked and said, “Yeah, sure. But I want to talk to you.”
“What is it?” I immediately asked out of my natural curiosity.
“Nothing much.” He replied, “I just want to talk to you alone.”
“How about my house, in the morning?” I ask. He just nodded, and slipped his hand away, going toward Sarah. In the back of my mind I was worried; what did he have to tell me?
The rest of the night was a blast. I was having so much fun and going so crazy that at midnight, when I was walking out of the door, I agreed to a stupid dare Jonah had given me. He dared me to go to the chocolate fountain and bathe in it. At first I gave him a ‘you-are-insane’ look. But then as I headed out, the fountain looked more and more, well, appetizing. So I looked at him and said, “I’ll do it.”
Without a second thought, I ran toward the fountain and dipped it over. The warm chocolate goo spilled all over the yellow fabric, soaking into my skin. I took globs of it and threw it on myself; my face, neck, back, arms. Everywhere I could possibly reach was now stained in chocolate. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy, especially Natasha. But I was having fun, and wanted to spread the joy around.
So I quickly went up to Natasha, exclaimed, “Give me a hug!” and wrapped her in my arms. I shook her a bit, and when I let go, her tight sparkling silver dress was covered in thick, sweet, liquid. She let out a cry of frustration.
“What did you do?!” Everyone started laughing, even Daniel, who went up to her and scooped up some chocolate with his finger and licked it.
“Um, this is good!” he said, then went over to the fountain and tipped it over onto his head. It dropped all over, spewing chocolate on him, the floor, and the people close to him. Natasha let out another girly, pre-Madonna shrill.
“Oh, what the hec?!” Jonah shrugged and dove straight for the fountain. His black tuxedo was ruined and his white shirt underneath could possibly be permanently damaged, but he was licking the sleeves of his jacket. I looked over at him, trying to contain a smile, when we both had the same idea.

The two of us took two separate globs of chocolate and ran to Sarah, who couldn’t let out the words ‘Don’t you guys dare!’ before we splattered the melted stuff all over her. She wiped chocolate off of her eyelids and shook her head. “That does it you guys!” And she reached for the punch bowl and dumped the red punch on our heads. Not only was I now sticky with sweet goodness, but I was soaking wet with red punch seeping through my hair. Everyone was cracking up, and in a matter of seconds the whole room was filled with chocolate covered people.

I felt the hot sunlight seeping through my open window wake me up. Ever so slowly, I pulled myself out of the lush comforters that I was snoring in just minutes ago. Putting my hands up in a stretch/yawn, I couldn’t help but feel natural comfort… because I was home.

Ever since I had left for Point Park University, it feels like nothing in my room had changed; which was good, because I’m not a big fan of change. The window still had a ledge on the inside big enough for me sit in and read. My burgundy curtains with gold design on it draped neatly from the window. My matching blanket was as warm as it was before. And underneath my bed was my secret stash of Snicker’s candy bars, pictures of my friends and family, and really private poems that I wrote whenever I was… troubled. There were a bunch of them that I had written when dad died.

Dad… my heart broke at the name. Tears started to swell up, and my throat got tighter. He was anything and everything that a perfect dad was. I have so many memories of him; but not enough. He died six years ago. I was only thirteen. And I was devastated. I still remember how he looked like. He had that golden tanned complexion, and bright brown eyes that were very, very light. His hair was slick, and he had square glasses that totally matched the fact that he was a scientist. Specifically, a paranormal scientist, which used to weird me out when I was little, but now I think that it’s beyond cool.

But the strongest memories of him include his undeniable scent of cinnamon. Whenever I hugged him, that strong yet delightful smell would tickle my nose, and I found comfort in it. His voice was always so assuring, and he would make me laugh time after time. His nose was unique, slightly crooked. He had dimples on his cheeks that always made me want them because they looked so nice when he smiled… everything was better when he smiled. He lit up the room; he lit up the world. But now that light is gone forever; blown out, turned off, never to return again. I felt the hot, wet tears leaking so I ran and grabbed a shirt out of my suitcase and roughly wiped my eyes. They stung a bit, so I sat against the wall and waited for the redness to go away, so no one would know that I was crying.

I was about to get up when mom’s voice shouted from the first floor, “Lydia!! Jonah’s here to see you, come down!”

Oh my goodness! I had totally forgotten that Jonah was coming! I hadn’t brushed, my hair still smelled like a weird combination of chocolate and strawberry punch (even though I had washed it, like, three times last night) and I was in my pajamas!

As fast as lightning, I squirted toothpaste onto my toothbrush and scrubbed until my gums hurt. After rinsing my mouth, I tied my hair into a loose bun and pulled on a pair of jeans and an ‘I love NY’ t-shirt, then rushed downstairs.

Like the true klutz that I am, I missed the last step in my rush and went flying toward the hard wood floor; head first. I let out a shrill scream, closing my eyes and bracing for the slam, when a pair of strong hands caught me. I waited for a second, making sure that I didn’t hear my skull crack, or even a loud thud. Then I looked up and breathed a sigh of relief. It was Jonah. He caught me. I wasn’t going to have to be rushed to the emergency room in the middle of winter break. “Easy there slick.” He chuckled sarcastically.

I pulled myself out of his grip and said, “Yeah, I’m pretty smooth”. That got him laughing harder. “Thanks.” I mumbled, a bit annoyed by his reaction.

“Do you guys want to eat some cereal? Toast? Juice?” Mom asked, pointing to each breakfast item.

“No thanks Ms. S., I just had oatmeal.” Jonah said. I simply shook my head, planning to eat a Snicker’s bar later.
What? A girl can’t indulge in chocolaty goodness once in a while?

“So, what’s up?” I said casually as mom hopped upstairs to use the computer. Jonah walked to the couch and sat down, his face suddenly looking exhausted and… overwhelmed.

He put his hands on his head and laughed softly. But it wasn’t a happy laugh. It was a nervous one. “Lydia, I can’t believe that this is happening.”

“What?” I asked, taking a seat next to him, feeling my stomach growl. Why didn’t I bring down the candy?

“It’s funny.” He whispered, and I was scared. Jonah was rarely sad, or upset, or worried. He was always happy and uplifting. “Just a year ago, I never dreamt that I would be marrying Sarah. She was just a… friend.”

I shivered. Maybe it was because of the December chill outside, or the thought that something was wrong between them two. I think it’s the second reason. “Is everything okay?” he just nodded. I continued, “Well, how did this happen? You know, falling in love with each other?” I was genuinely curious, because it was the last thing that I had expected in the world.

“When you left, we were just hanging out like usual. But she asked me out. And I said yes, because… I don’t know.” He said rapidly. “When we went out, I liked her. Actually, I think I fell-”
“In love with her?” I finished for him, smiling, because I knew that Sarah was really happy. You could just tell by the way she glowed around Jonah.
Jonah smile too and said, “Yeah, love. I think that’s what it is. I’m just not sure.”
I cocked my head to the side, wondering what to say, how to cheer him up. “When you’re in love, you know it. It’s like you can’t keep your mind off of them. And when they’re not with you, it hurts you; you miss them more than anything. When you’re in love, you would do anything to keep them happy and safe.” I don’t know where my words were coming from, but they just poured out of my mouth without effort. Suddenly, I thought of Jason and how much I missed him. How much I wanted him next to me. Was I in love with him? Is that how I know what love is? I felt a bit giddy at the thought, but then I refocused on Jonah and Sarah. “Do you feel that way about her?” I asked, praying for the answer to be ‘yes’, because I know Sarah, and she would be crushed. She’s a very reasonable person, and she wouldn’t marry someone if she didn’t know for sure that she loved them one hundred percent.
Jonah hesitated for a moment, and then fell back onto a pillow and said, “Yes, I think so.”
“Jonah, ‘I think so’ isn’t for sure. You shouldn’t have any doubts if you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with Sarah. That would just be bad for both of you.” He just nodded, in deep thought, so I said, “Do you think that you’re rushing things? I mean, do what you want, but you’re just eighteen years old. You have the rest of your life to get married, and so does she.”
But he just shook her head, “It’s not that simple Lydia.”
“Yes it is!” I nodded my head for emphasis, squeezing his hands.
“No.” he whispered, “I love her. I do. It’s just that I’m not sure that I want to do things so fast. Maybe dating her for a little while…” he paused, but then said, “No! I can’t call off the wedding now! She would be hurt. I can’t see her like that.”
“Jonah, she’ll understand your feelings if you tell this to her.”
“Lydia…”
“Jonah, you’re making things more complicated than they have to be!” I raised my voice a bit, “Why?”
“Lydia…”
“Why??” I persisted, not understanding the way his mind was working.
“Because I used to like you in high school!!!” he shouted. Suddenly, the room was dead silent. A pin drop could be heard from a mile away.
My breathing quickened, knowing that this was not possible. No way. I liked him before, and he liked me? But none of us told each other? And now I had Jason and he had Sarah? Why did Jonah just make things more complicated?
I saw a small shadow by the back door, leading out to the backyard, but it retreated as quickly as it had appeared, so I thought that I must have imagined it. I looked at Jonah, a million things buzzing in my head. “Jonah…” was all I could mutter.
“Lydia, I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I should have never…”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said, getting madder by the second. If he had told me, then things would have been completely different. We could have possibly been a couple, and still be a couple. I would have possibly never met Jason (which I would never want to happen) and he wouldn’t have started going out with Sarah and been engaged to her. Everything would have been turned upside down. I might have even known the feeling of Jonah’s lips on mine instead of Jason’s.
“I don’t know.” He said, but then added, “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship if you had rejected me. It was stupid. I was stupid. And I’ve gotten myself into a bigger mess now. You know, when Sarah asked me out for the first time, I had said yes originally to get my mind off of you. I was upset that you had gone away before I told you. But now you have Jason and that’s totally fine.”
At that moment, I was speechless. What the hec just happened? I felt flattered because he used to have feelings for me. I felt angry at myself for not starting a relationship with him before. I felt like I was betraying Jason for talking to my ex-crush and finding out that he had feelings for me too, before. I felt like an awful friend to Sarah for doing all of the above.
I felt utterly confused.
“If you liked me in high school, why are you still thinking about it now?” I demanded.
He took a deep breath and said, “Because I’m not sure if I still have feelings for you… or if those feelings are for Sarah.”
“Get out.” I mumbled. He didn’t hear me so I raised my voice. “Get out! Leave me alone. Just… Just… go.” He got up off of the couch and left, looking back at me one time before he shut the door. And then I threw a pillow at the door out of frustration. And I pulled an arm muscle for throwing it the wrong way.

After that, I ran up to my room, locked the door, and gorged on three Snicker’s bars angrily. Not even that helped me calm down my nerves. How was it possible that my two best friends in the world had so much going on with them? How was it that everything was mixed up into this horrible, horrible mess? At that point, I wanted to shake Jonah so hard that his brains got all rattled up that he forgot about me; and only remembered Sarah. I wanted him to be with Sarah. I wanted to be with Jason. Simple. But now it was complicated…I reached into my secret stash of poems and started reading one of the ones I wrote when I really like him. I think it was tenth or eleventh grade. I whispered the words aloud, twisting the brown candy bar wrapper with my fingers.
“My heart races when I see him. I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t stop being dazed when I look into his eyes. This isn’t possible. It’s too good to be true. Can someone feel this wonderful around another person? My heart races when I see him. The sun shines brighter with his smile. The dark storm clouds fade away. The roses bloom and smell almost as wonderful as he does. My heart races when I see him. It would feel magnificent to be in his arms. To feel his skin. To kiss his lips. My heart will stop racing when I reach him.”

I shook my head in disapproval at myself, wondering how on Earth I ever felt like that. Slowly, I ripped the paper into bits, and tossed it into the trash can. Feeling a throb in my forehead, I was making my way to take an Advil, when my phone rang. I picked it off of my dresser and answered.

“Hi Lydia.” It was a smooth, silky, too-good-to-be-real voice. It was Jason’s voice.

“Jason!” I exclaimed, so glad to hear his voice after this long. “How are you?”

“I’m missing you.” He said softly, and I knew that he was speaking the truth. The way his voice faltered a bit, the way the smoothness was suddenly overshadowed.

“I’m missing you too.” I whispered, letting the sentence linger in the air, wanting to see him in person badly. “So how’s the art competition?” I asked.

“It’s o-kay.” He replied, “But it’s not over yet. I’m not even sure if I’ll win though. Everyone here is really good.”

I laughed, knowing that his talent was pure and that only a fool would not be amazed at his work. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.” I said.

“How’s the reservation? Did you miss your home?” he asked me, and suddenly thoughts of Sarah and Jonah flooded my mind and I felt the throbbing in my head grown stronger. So I lay down on my bed.

“Um, yeah. Everything’s… great.” I lied.

But apparently I’m not a great liar because he said, “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” So I explained to him about Sarah and Jonah being engaged and getting married. I told him that Jonah’s unsure about it. But I didn’t tell him about Jonah’s confession to liking me before. I wasn’t going to reveal that to anyone. “Lydia, you need to calm down.” He spoke in a reassuring voice, and I couldn’t help but think that he didn’t even know the half of it. “It’s not your problem to be dealing with, so don’t be stressed out, okay?”

“Okay.” I mumbled solemnly.

“Now there’s only five more days until you come back.” He said in his silky tone again, and not the worried, protective one that he used two seconds ago. “Do you mind coming back in that dress?” he teased.

“Oh, shut up!” I said back jokingly. “Besides, it was ruined by a chocolate fountain and punch at the welcome back party.”

“Do I even want to know?” he asked. I just laughed. But then he had to go. And I felt lonelier as he hung up the phone and I just lay there. Until I heard some soft crying from downstairs. And I crept down to see what

I expected anything but what I saw. Mom. On the couch. Crying. Without even thinking about it, I rushed over to her and sat down next to her, putting my arm over her shoulder. It took a moment for her to realize that I was there, but she looked up. Her hazel eyes were puffy and red around the edges. She was sniffling her nose, and her hair was in knots. How long had she been crying with her head in her lap?

“Are you okay?” I whispered, patting her back.

She just shook her head. “No. I’m not. I found these. I–”

But there was no need to explain. Right in her hands were three pictures. Of dad. The first one was on a beach. Mom was wearing a bikini and dad was in swim trunks, showing off his muscles (this must have been their honeymoon). His arm was around her and they were laughing at their own private joke. They both looked so… happy. Positively glowing, mom’s hair was longer and straight, and dad was buffer and didn’t have any glasses.

The second picture was of dad and his brother as little kids, who now lived in Alaska because of his work. I haven’t seen him since dad’s funeral. They were fishing, wearing identical hats. Dad still had the same dark complexion and dimples in his cheeks. His brother, Uncle Henry, was younger by five years, and looked bored. Even in this picture, dad looked like nothing in the world could get him down. There was just optimism seeping through him, and it made me want to laugh and cry and smile all at the same time.

The third picture is what made me gasp. I remembered this picture. It haunted me. It was the last picture that I had ever taken with dad. It was during my thirteenth birthday party. He had gotten me the whole set of Harry Potter books and I was the happiest girl in the world then. The picture had me hugging him, both of us smiling widely. I could smell the scent of cinnamon that I smelled when I hugged him that day. I could feel the warm fuzziness that comforted me. It was as if I was back there, five years ago, when the world was an innocent place. When nothing could go wrong. When me, mom, and dad, were a perfect family. And I had perfect friends. But all of that had slipped right out of my grasp, and I couldn’t get it back, no matter how hard I tried.







“Lydia, I’m sorry.” Mom whispered, hugging me tightly.

“Don’t be… I miss him too.” I said, letting go of the pictures, allowing them to fall to the floor.

“No. I was supposed to tell you something.”

“What?” I asked, wiping my face, which was now as red as it had been in the morning.

Mom looked far away, as if in her own world, then she set her hazel eyes on me. “Your dad – he wanted me to give this to you when he died.” She pulled out a necklace. It was dangling by a silver thread and had a silver pendant in the shape of a crescent moon.

Questions buzzed in my head. But I asked the most important. “Why?”

Mom enclosed the necklace in my trembling hand and said, “He told me that it was for your protection.” I was still confused, so she went on. “I don’t know what going through his head at the time… but he was different. He was scared.”

“What do you mean mom?” I gripped her shoulders, only because I thought I would fall down if I didn’t.

“Lydia… it was like – it was like he knew he was going to die. He gave this to me to give to you two days before the plane crash. I got mad at him that day for thinking about his death. But…” she took a deep breath and said, “He was scared. More than I’d ever seen. I didn’t think…”

“Then why are you giving this to me now?” I said, my voice rising slightly.

“Because ever since he died, I couldn’t bear to see anything that reminded me of him!” She yelled, and then went back to sobbing. I clenched my necklace tighter in my palm. It made sense now. It all did. Without thinking, I rushed to the door and ran outside, as fast as I could.

As I ran, the wind whipped at my face. My bun became loose and my hair flowed freely. I willed my legs to move faster and faster, not thinking; just letting my feet go where it went. It all made sense now I thought. Even though my body was moving through the roads and buildings, trees and bushes, my mind was transported back to five years ago. To be more exact, the day I found out that dad died. I remembered it clearly, because it had played in my mind a million times after.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I was walking home from school with Jonah and Sarah. We all looked… younger. Happier. More innocent. It was raining cats and dogs, and we were racing toward my house, desperate for shelter. My clothes had already gotten soaked in water, and my hair (which was as long as it is now) was in soggy clumps. “Guys come on!” Thirteen year old Jonah had yelled over the roaring rain. He was the fastest of us all, and Sarah and I were having a difficult time keeping up. Finally, we reached my porch when I great bolt of lightning struck, causing Sarah to jump. I fumbled with the key until it opened the door. Once it did, the three amigos had run into the warm house that had a sturdy roof.

The carpet by the front door was now as wet and soggy as my hair. I dropped my backpack by the staircase and was about to call out ‘Mom!’ to see if she was home when a worried voice whispered, “Don’t yell!”

I looked up to see a woman. She looked just like my mom, except taller, bonier, and her nose was slightly crooked. She was mom’s older sister, my Aunt Cathy. I was in shock, because I only see Aunt Cathy on Christmas and the occasional Thanksgiving. She was always traveling, doing artsy things that I always admired. Instantly, I went to hug her, and she squeezed back. I let go, realizing that I had dripped all over her.

But then something felt… wrong. I could sense it. Aunt Cathy looked as if she had been… crying? Yes, there had definitely been some crying. “What happened?” I asked, feeling panicked myself.

Aunt Cathy ruffled my hair and smiled. “I’m so sorry darling.” Was all she had whispered. Before anything else was said, mom came down the stairs.

She looked like a mess. Her shirt was wrinkled, her hair was in knots, her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and she looked about ten years older. She ran to me and hugged me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. When she let go, she started crying again. But she managed to utter, “He’s dead. He’s not coming home.”

He’s dead, He’s not coming home. He’s dead, He’s not coming home. He’s dead.

Those words rang in my head as I felt my knees buckle and I fell to the floor. No one dared to breathe. Jonah and Sarah had fallen silent, into the background. Even my mother’s sobs and my aunt’s gasp were drowned out by my sorrow. My world was crashing down. Dad had gone to California for his friend’s wedding. Mom couldn’t leave because of work. I couldn’t leave because of school. But dad wouldn’t come back. Dad had died on the plane. The plane that crashed.

I banged my hands on the floor, repeatedly, angrily. Grief and fury took over me, as my face turned ghostly pale and then red. I had lost my father. My one and only father. He was gone. The last thing I remember was my mom and Aunt Cathy screaming for me to get up, saying that it’ll be okay. I kept on mumbling ‘no’, and Jonah and Sarah were holding onto one arm each, trying to pull me up off the ground. But I resisted. I heard them plead, “Please Lydia, get up!”

But despite the fact that there were four other faces in the room, I only saw one. And that was dad’s…

“LYDIA!!!” I heard a deep voice yell, and then two arms grab me by the waist, causing me to stop running.

“Let go of me!” I yelled, then wrenched myself out of the arms, stumbling, but then catching my balance. I looked around and saw that I was near the woods that surrounded the reservation. It was raining. And Jonah was the one who had stopped me.

“Lydia…” he said softly, drenched in water. I breathed deeply, partly because I had run so far and so fast, but partly because I had relived a haunting memory that happened five years ago.

“What do you want?” I yelled while pulling my wet hair back into a bun again.

“Lydia, I am so sorry. About what happened this morning. I shouldn’t have told you that. I shouldn’t have talked to you at all about Sarah, or the wedding, or you.”

“Shush.” I said, because I was tired of hearing him speak. I wanted to talk. It was my turn. I took a deep breath and said, “Don’t be sorry.”

In a minute, we were inside the woods, sitting beneath a tree that sheltered us from the rain, but left a dirt stain on my pants. “Jonah, I overreacted. I have a confession, too.” He looked at me curiously. “I liked you too. In high school.”

There was a long moment of silence, then he said, “Well, then it’s a relief to know that I wasn’t horrible looking back then.”

I nudged him playfully and said, “But it’s not the same anymore. For me. You know that, right?”

He sighed and put his head against the tree trunk. “I know that. And it’s not the same for me anymore either. I really do like Sarah, but I don’t want to get married… yet. But I want to date her.”

“She’ll understand.” I whispered, laying my head on his shoulders, feeling like the Jonah I knew when I left was coming back to me. I wanted to say something more, to keep the conversation going. But this time, the silence was peaceful.

We waited until the rain stopped pouring heavily. When it had transformed into a light drizzle, the two of us made our way back to my house slowly. I told him about the pictures. About the necklace. About why I ran out. And like my most amazing friend ever, he said that he would come home with me and help me talk to my mom.

When we finally got back home, mom was still on the couch. But she was sleeping. She must have cried herself to sleep, though. As quiet as a mouse, I got a blanket and covered her shivering, tired body. Jonah wanted to wait until she got up, but I told him that it was okay. After several minutes of going back and forth, he finally agreed to leave, saying “Good Luck.” on his way out.

I sat on the floor and watched a little bit of TV on low volume. My stomach was growling, so I got up and made myself a turkey sandwich. But as graceful as I am, I dropped the mayo jar onto the kitchen tiles, and it crashed. Shards of glass flew, some of it cutting my fingers. Thick mayonnaise oozed out of the cracked jar, and mom jerked open, looking dazed and somewhat lost. “Don’t worry mom.” I said while bending over to clean the mess up. The white mayonnaise had gotten mixed in with some of the blood dripping from my cut fingers, and my skin stung.

Finally I was done, but ditched the turkey sandwich and rushed over to mom, ready to apologize a thousand times for just taking off like that. “Mom…”

She held up her index finger. “Don’t worry love.” She shook her head and hugged me. I felt the tears coming on, but I pushed them away.

“Mom, I’m so sorry I ran like that. I know we both miss him. I love you.”

I heard her sniffle and say, “I love you too.” We both sat there, and she fell back asleep. I picked up the three pictures that were still on the ground, hastily put on the necklace from dad, and ran to my room. Stashing the pictures under my bed, I lay down and stared at the roof.

My world… has been so different since he died. My world is changing now. When will all of this craziness stop? When can I stop the rollercoaster from tossing me around? When will I be able to…?

“Lydia!” a familiar, cheery voice woke me up. I jerked open, seeing Sarah by my bed.

“Oh gosh!” was the first thing that popped out of my mouth. I had fallen asleep yesterday. I was still in my jeans and t-shirt. My hair was ruffled, and I bet I had a bunch of pillow wrinkles.

“What?” she whispered, gently shaking my arm.

“Nothing… I didn’t realize I fell asleep yesterday.”

“Oh. Well, I have a surprise for you.” I looked at her with a smile and a curious expression. “Actually, Jonah thought of it. He’s downstairs with your mom.”

“Really?” I said, getting up, combing my hair.

“Dress warm, okay?” Sarah said as she walked out of the door. I nodded and pulled on a sweater, then combed the knots out of my hair. Soon I was downstairs, with a cup of hot cocoa that mom had made. She looked better than yesterday, and that calmed me down.

“Come on, finish it!!” Jonah rushed me as I gulped down the last bits of creamy liquid.

“Relax Jonah.” I replied, putting the dirty cup in the dishwasher. Before getting to breathe, Jonah grabbed my hand and pulled me out the front door. “Bye mom!” I managed to say while getting pulled into his car.

I was about to sit in the back seat, when Sarah said, “I don’t think so. It’s my turn to drive, so you are sitting in the front.” I grinned and took the passenger’s seat as Sarah gave Jonah a kiss on the cheek and got behind the seat. I couldn’t help but thinking about how Jonah wants to call off the wedding, and I think he thought of it too; because at that point, a guilty look came about his face. But Sarah didn’t notice.

Now, as good as my memory is, I remembered that Sarah was a… well, reckless driver. And she still was. The tire screeched left and right, and despite the fact that I was wearing my seat belt, my body was swinging back and forth like a pendulum. And Jonah was gripping the seats. But Sarah… well she was singing along to Adele on the radio, as if driving this fast was normal.

“So…” I said, holding onto the seat as well, “Where are you guys taking me to?”

A devilish grin came over Sarah as she said, “Well, let’s just say that we haven’t been there since the ninth grade.”

“Huh?” I said, and then I felt Jonah’s hands covering my eyes. “Let go!!” I squeaked, sounding like Sarah. “I want to see.”

“Okay.” Jonah said, laughing, while I felt the car skid to a stop.

I gasped when I saw it. The huge white building, with displays of hockey sticks and ice-skates by the glass window. People pouring in and out, eager to go… ice skating. “No, no, no!” I shrieked. “No way, am I going ice skating!” I was starting to panic, pushing against the car door, prepared to walk home if I had to. “Turn the car around now, Sarah!”

Sarah shook her head and said, “Lydia, this is going to be fun! Come on, you’re in college and you can’t ice-skate?”

“We’ll be there, don’t freak out.” Jonah chimed in.

I shook my head. “You were there last time, but it was a disaster.” At those words, both of them started cracking up. I felt my face burn up red, despite this freezing weather outside. When the three of us were here for Sarah’s fourteenth birthday, it had been my first time on the ice. And it was (I had hoped) my last time. I couldn’t control my wacky skates, and my face seemed to be attached to the cold ice. No way was I going back in there for round two.

But Jonah had already opened my door, and was waiting for me to get out. I just shook my head and gripped onto the seat tighter. No one was going to get me out of this car. Yes, I admit it: I was scared! Then Jonah scooped me up and no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t have enough strength to counter back. Sarah slammed the door shut while I was still in his arms. I might have imagined it, but I swear her face had suddenly dropped. The smile had disappeared, replaced with a scowl. When Jonah put me down and turned around, her expression changed. She put an arm around Jonah and rested her head on his shoulder. “Let’s go.” She said, motioning me to come forward, but I was rooted to the spot.

Jonah slipped from her reach and threatened, “If you don’t come, I’ll be forced to carry you onto the rink.” I rolled my eyes and moved forward, not wanting to be man-handled again. When the three of us reached the rink, I was shivering like crazy. “I told you to dress warm.” Sarah said, with an I-told-you-so look on her face. She was wearing a sweater and a thick coat as she laced up her skates. Jonah, making his way toward the ice turned back around and took off his coat.

“Here, take it. I don’t need it.” He handed it to me.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“No you won’t. You’re turning blue because of the cold. Take it.” Finally, I took it and put it on myself. Even though it was way too big, it warmed me up in no time. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sarah scowl again, and this time I was sure that I didn’t imagine it.

I cautiously made my way toward the ice, and with the help of my two friends’, got onto the slippery surface. “Ah!” I squeaked, feeling myself loose balance. But Sarah grabbed my wrist and pulled me up before my butt could make contact with the ice.

“It’s okay. You’re fine.” She said, slowly letting go of my hand. I struggled to stay upright, hurting my pride more than anything else with this utter humiliation. Yes, I fell down three times. Okay, four. And all of those times were filled with Jonah and Sarah laughing their heads off, and me trying to get out of the rink.

“Oh no you’re not.” Jonah said, pulling me back. This was my fifth attempt at trying to escape, but every time someone had caught me.

“But…” I whined.

“Why don’t you hold onto the side and skate for a while.” Sarah said.

“This was supposed to be for Lydia.” Jonah reminded Sarah. Suddenly, the speaker system turned on some music and Sarah grabbed Jonah by the wrist, pulling him to the other side of the rink. She was spinning and twirling gracefully, landing perfectly every time. Jonah’s eye caught mine as if to say ‘Sorry’, but I just smiled back. Sarah probably just wanted some time alone with her fiancée. And that was understandable. Totally.

I made my way ever so slowly to the side rail and gripped onto it for my dear life. I started to pull myself around the rink, hearing the skates dig against the ice. After a moment, my arm got tired of hauling my rigid body around, and I stopped to take a breath. I looked over to the other side of the rink, where Sarah and Jonah were.

They were skating together, laughing and smiling. After a few spins, Sarah stopped and inched closer to Jonah. He put his arms around her small waist and she kissed him, right on the mouth; in public! They were still kissing when I started to pull myself along the side rail again. But this time, my eyes weren’t focused. They were glued to the sight of my two best friends, making out (did I mention that it was in PUBLIC??). Then my hands somehow slipped and I went hurtling toward the ice, face first. “ARGH!!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as my skin crashed into the ice. I felt the cold go through me instantly. I was shivering, and the jacket wasn’t helping. And I heard a crack, then a throbbing pain in my shoulder. Then a razor sharp ice skate sped by me, cutting my forehead. Blood oozed out.

“Lydia!” Jonah’s voice yelled as he broke away from Sarah’s kiss and skated toward me as fast as lightning. In a second, he was by my side, picking me up and off the ice.

“Ow…” I moaned, the pain in my shoulder growing.

“I think you broke your shoulder; and someone ran over you. You’re bleeding. We should’ve never brought you here.” He admitted guiltily.

“Are you okay!?” Sarah shrieked, making her way toward me.

“We need to take her to the hospital.” Jonah sounded worried. And I moaned some more. The last thing that I remember was getting into the car and hearing his voice saying, “It’s going to be okay.

I woke up feeling sore and exhausted. My vision was blurred for a moment, but then it refocused and I could see Jonah sitting by me, eyes filled with worry. Sarah was sitting on the other side of the room, her eyes red from what seemed to be crying. I got up and touched my bandaged forehead.

“Lydia!” Jonah’s eyes lit up and he touched my shoulders gently. “You’re awake now.” He smiled warmly, and suddenly I was back in high school, daydreaming about his face. If my sixteen year old self knew what was happening right now, then she would force me to kiss him as long as I kissed Jason.

But then Jason’s face took my attention. Even though he wasn’t here right now, I could imagine him, and I felt guilty about thinking of Jonah in that way. Jason’s perfectness somehow seemed impossible. There had to be something about him that wasn’t utterly beautiful and perfect, right? I made a mental note to find that out.

“Let’s go now.” Sarah’s cold voice snapped me out of my dazed state. Her eyes were still fairly red, but I didn’t say anything. Jonah helped me up and hugged me before I took a step forward.

“The doctors said you could go when you woke up.” He whispered. The three of us went back to the car and drove back to my house in silence. Jonah broke the silence in the middle of the car ride though, and said, “Are you okay Lydia?”

I shifted around in my seat uncomfortably. “Um… yeah; things like this happen all the time, right? It’s not a big deal.”

“It kind of is.” He whispered. “Not everyone gets hit so badly that they pass out. Do you need anything?” I just shook my head.

When we got out of the car, I looked up at the sky, which was a dull gray. Everything was completely silence, even the woods that surrounded my house. I tapped Sarah’s wrist, and she turned around. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” But she just simply yanked her arm away from me and stomped toward the front door.

“You know you’re acting like a total br –” Jonah was in mid-sentence when Sarah spun around, fresh tears falling from her face.

“Like what, Jonah? Like a brat? Or a jerk? Am I someone who you completely hate?!”

“I don’t hate you Sarah! I was trying to explain and you just wouldn’t let me.”

She shook her head and said, “I was wrong to trust you Jonah. I’ve made a complete fool of myself.” Then, before anyone could stop her, she ran toward the woods, still crying. Jonah called after her but she ignored him.

“Jonah! What happened?” I yelled, confused and worried.

He shook his head and replied, “I was trying to explain to her about calling off the wedding.”

“Well, we have to go after her. It’s getting late and she might get lost!” I was in a panic, and before Jonah could even stop me my feet were on the move, thudding against the dirt. My head was pounding and I felt like just sitting down, but I couldn’t let Sarah just go like that. I forced my legs to go faster and faster, my lungs were on fire. Gosh, she was fast.

“LYDIA!!!” Jonah was shouting after me. Soon he caught up with me and made me stop. He put his hands on my shoulders. “Lydia… she’s not a child. She can take care of herself.”

“No, no, no.” I whispered, putting my hand to my head. “Jonah, this is all my fault. She’s upset with me. She thinks that there’s something between us; I know it.”

Jonah came closer to me, to the point where I could feel his cool minty breath on my skin. He whispered, “It’s not your fault. I did this. It’s because of me this is all happening.” Then he leant in even closer, but I took a step back.

“Jonah… I-I can’t.”

He sighed and said, “Of course. I had my chance in high school, and I wasted it.” I was stuck in a trance of frustration and guilt, when I heard thunder boom, and light rain started to fall. “Come on; we need to find Sarah.” He said, taking off again. As we ran, I felt in a total mood of despair. I knew that it wasn’t Jonah’s fault that Sarah was this upset. She loves him; she wants him. But she thinks that I’m in the way. I could tell that there was something wrong when we went ice-skating.

The rain had become heavier, and soon we were running in mud instead of water. My shirt was sticking to me and my hair was in clumps. This reminded me of the weather the day I got the news my dad died.

“Sarah!” Jonah’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts as he ran to Sarah. She was standing against a tree, her face streaked with tears; although with the rain, it was hard to differentiate between the two.

“Go away!” she sobbed, her chest puffing in and out.

“Sarah, please, let’s get out of here. Why don’t we go to my house and have some dinner and then talk it out. Please…” I begged, holding her hand.

She yanked it away. “Oh god, like you care! You ruined everything Lydia… ever since you left the reservation to your fancy college, things have changed.”

“Sarah, this is not Lydia’s fault! Stop blaming her and stop being stupid. Come home!” I could literally feel Jonah’s temper flare.

Sarah rolled her eyes and said, “Of course. I’m the stupid one. Why did I ever fall in love with you?”

“I would hardly call it love.” Jonah replied back cruelly.

Sarah smiled and said, “You wouldn’t know because you’ve never loved anyone. But I have… and I’ve had my heart broken too.”

“OW!!” I interjected. The necklace that dad had given to me started to burn. The pain was spreading from the place on my neck where the pendant was resting to throughout my body.

“Lydia are you okay?” Jonah asked.

“No I…” My head suddenly felt dizzy and I staggered a bit. “My necklace just – burnt me?” I wasn’t sure if I was just hallucinating, so I removed it. Sure enough, I had a patch of pink skin from being burnt by the hot pendant.

Jonah looked confused. “How did that happen?”

“Of course! Only care about poor Lydia.” Sarah whined.

But Jonah just ignored her. “Here, why don’t you give it to me? I’ll keep it in my pocket.” He held out his hand and I gave it to him, suddenly feeling the burning sensations coming to a halt.

Suddenly the thunder roared louder and a bolt of lightning showed itself. Sarah jerked herself away from the tree in fright. She was about to speak again when a snake-like voice interrupted. “The necklace…”

The three of us spun around in all different directions, looking from where the voice was coming from. There wasn’t anyone except us in the woods, but goose bumps were covering my flesh… something wasn’t right. “Guys…” I whispered, breathing as softly as possible.

“You fools! Give me the necklace!!” The voice was still snake-like, but somewhat sharper and impatient. There was a moment of silence, and then a huge bolt of lightning flashed. “Give it to me!” the voice shouted again.

“What do you want?!” I yelled at the sky, finally able to use my voice.

“Your soul… but the necklace will suffice for now… Or bear the consequences.” I was utterly confused, but for some reason, fear crept into my heart and traveled through my veins. I looked at Jonah, who had come in front of both Sarah and I, arms spread out in a defensive position. I saw his eyes, which were transforming into alert, protective ones instead of the soft innocent ones that I’m so familiar with.

“You can’t threaten us. You’re crazy!” Jonah shouted. I put my hand on his shoulder, needing someone to hold on to.

“Give me the necklace today or the life of a friend will be the price you’ll pay.” Instantly I felt my face flush. Whoever this was, he was threatening to hurt someone… and I couldn’t let that happen.

I came close to Jonah’s ear and whispered, “Give him the necklace. We need to get out of here.”

“No!” he whispered back firmly, “This was from your dad. Why does he want it so badly?”

“What if he’s a sociopath?” I persisted.

“Well I know that he’s a coward!” He said loudly, wanting the stranger to hear. “He can’t even show his own face!”

“Jonah!” I gasped, reaching for his pocket, intending to get the necklace out. But I didn’t quite get my fingers on it; because a loud, ear-piercing shriek came from Sarah’s mouth.

“AHHHH!!!” She yelled, falling to her knees. Immediately her deep, tan skin became pale and sweaty. Her whole body was shaking, and her breaths were coming out in short rasps. I ran to her, trying to stop her.

“Sarah! Sarah!”

“Please… stop…” she managed to say through all the pain. Her body shook more violently, and foam started to fizz at her mouth. I held her shoulders firmly, trying to help her.

“Stop it! STOP IT!!” I shouted at the sky, my face being pelted heavily with rain. Suddenly Sarah stopped jerking and she breathed normally again. I helped her to her feet, thankful that she was alive. “Jonah, just give it.”

I watched as he took the crescent moon pendent necklace. I closed my eyes, forcing the tears back as I thought of my dad. A big lump formed in my throat, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. As I opened my eyes and stared at the pendent, I could feel his presence. It was as if I was little again and sitting on his lap, him stroking my hair and telling me these old Native American tales until I fell asleep, my head on his chest. I tried to breathe; I tried to forget about what that necklace meant to me… but somehow, I couldn’t.

“Now drop it to the ground.” The slithering voice spat out, and Jonah obeyed. The rain poured harder and thunder boomed so loud that I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. I was torn between my rational self that told me to let the necklace go so we would all be safe; but the other part of me told me not to give up a part of dad so easily. The ground surrounding the necklace began to burn with fire. It was consuming everything, getting closer to the necklace every second.

“No!” I yelled. The fire went out and thunder boomed again. A tall, slim figure appeared out of the bushes, wearing a cotton red cloak. The hood was up, masking his face. Who was he? How was doing all of this?

“Now Lydia… work with me. Do you want one of your friends to go through pain again? If they died, it would be because of you… only you have the power to hand over the necklace…”

“No; I can’t let that necklace go. And you won’t hurt Sarah or Jonah.” A surge of confidence rushed through me as those words tumbled out of my mouth.

“Very well then… I guess that means I’ll be taking you.”

I stared at the figure again, not sure what I had just gotten myself into. No one moved a muscle, until the figure moved his bony hand upward and down, creating a rod of fire which turned into a lethal spear with the shape of a hissing cobra on its side. I swallowed, and time seemed to slow down.

But then everything happened in a flash.

He took aim and threw it at my chest; but I screamed and ducked, rolling onto the ground. He waved his bony hand again and the weapon reappeared next to him. Sarah was screaming out of terror, and I searched the ground for my necklace. When I found it, I quickly stuffed it inside my pocket and scrambled to get up on my feet. The rain was coming down harder, and this time I turned my head to see the spear only an inch away from my neck. But it was coming too fast for me to duck like before. I closed my eyes, waiting for the silver to make contact with my skin, hoping for a quick death…

When a pair of strong hands pushed me out of the way. I opened my eyes as I fell onto the hard dirt, hitting the soft spot in my head from the ice-skating accident. But my eyes were open long enough to see the spear go through Jonah’s back. A sickening shriek was sounded from his mouth as he fell to the ground on his stomach. Blood gushed from the big hole in his body, and soon he was lying in a pool of it. Sarah screamed, her big eyes wide and terrified. I glanced at the hooded figure, who tilted his hood back for a second.

And I recognized the face; the bright red eyes and glossy, swept back black hair was identical to the person in Jason’s painting. But it couldn’t be… that was impossible! But I knew I wasn’t hallucinating. The man tipped his hood back on and disappeared, leaving behind a cobra, identical to the one on his spear. The snake slithered for a few moments and then flashed away.

That was when Sarah went running to Jonah’s body, and threw herself onto his shoulders. “No… please, Jonah, please. Get up. Get up!” She was shaking his lifeless corpse, going insane herself. “Get up!!” she shouted.

I got off of the dirt, not able to think clearly. All I saw was Jonah’s unmistakable body. I was hesitant to go closer because of Sarah’s meltdown that was occurring. I was begging silently in my mind for this to just be a horrible, sickening nightmare. The grief that had taken over my body was too big for tears. I felt as if someone had hit me so hard that I couldn’t breathe. I tried to, genuinely, but all that came out were little shudders. I felt a strong coldness, and suddenly I was angry at Jonah. Angry at him for stepping in the way. Angry at him for being the hero. Angry at him for caring about me enough to save me.

I should have been the one dead on the floor. I wished for a time machine so I could be the one to get speared. He didn’t deserve this… he’s dead. Everyone’s dying; everyone I care about is dying! I thought. Dad, Track, and now Jonah. He lost his life, he lost his happiness, and he lost… everything. Please forgive me Jonah, please forgive me.

I walked closer and knelt down next to his body. Sarah stepped away, still sobbing, still in her panic mode. Slowly, I wrapped my fingers around the silver spear and pulled it out. Once out, I tossed it to the ground. My fingers were covered in blood, but I didn’t care. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around his deadly wound, then turned his body around so I could see his face. I saw his eyes; which were not innocent and soft, nor protective and alert; but they were glassy and lifeless. Gently, I closed his eyelids and kissed his forehead. “Please forgive me Jonah. Please, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, sorry. I need you here…” I half hoped that he would wake up and tell me that it was alright, but no such thing happened. “Okay… just promise me that you’re in a better place, ‘kay? Do that for me, will you?” I ran my fingers through his hair and let the tears flow. They drenched his shirt, but it was already wet from the rain.

Soon, I was sobbing, not wanting to let go. But a hand pulled me up. I wiped my eyes and saw Sarah in front of me. She looked hurt; she looked beyond hurt. “Lydia…” she whispered. I swallowed, still not able to breathe. The rain had stopped but it was dark outside. Sarah’s face quickly changed from hurt to angry… furious was more suitable to what I saw.

“Sarah?” I whispered.

“You killed him!” she shrieked, tears still pouring down her cheeks like an endless waterfall. “He died for you! He died because of you!!”

“I didn’t mean it.” I said in a calm, even voice, though I felt anything but that at the moment.

“If you let that murderer take your stupid necklace then he wouldn’t have hurt anyone. He wouldn’t have tried to kill you, and Jonah wouldn’t have come in the way!” she yelled, coming closer to me. “You should be the dead one right now, NOT HIM!” she was seething with fury as she shoved me against a tree. My sore head hit it, and pain spread through me once more.

But I didn’t shove back… Sarah was completely right. “I know; I should have been the one who… got killed.”

Sarah crossed her thin arms. “You have no right to come near him Lydia. As far as I’m concerned, you were his murderer. You ruined everything… my wedding and my fiancé’s life.”

I raised one eyebrow. “I didn’t ruin your wedding. It wasn’t my fault that Jonah didn’t want to marry you. You guys were rushing into it. You have the rest of your life to do that you know."

“Oh please; don’t put up that fake act. I overheard the conversation you two had… when he told you about his feelings that he had for you. Do you realize how crushed I was? That the man that I love doesn’t love me back?”

“Sarah…”

“Wait, of course you wouldn’t know! Everyone’s always loved Lydia. Lydia’s always been able to get who she wanted… even the handsome Jason was wooed by her. Were you really that oblivious to all the boys who secretly liked you in high school? Were you that innocent that you didn’t notice that I was like your sidekick instead of your friend? It was always Lydia and Sarah, never Sarah and Lydia.”

“What has gotten into you?” I asked, ignoring what she pointed out. I guess I never did realize everything that she mentioned. “Why are you so… insecure?? You don’t know what I would do for you, Sarah. You’re more than a friend… you’re like a sister.”

“But you wouldn’t betray your own sister.”

“How did I betray you?!” I shouted.

“You took the one person I loved. You tore his life to shreds.”

“But I… I….” I was at a loss for words. I took a look at Sarah’s angry, hurt face and her fury-filled eyes; and then I took a look at Jonah’s dead body, wrapped in my jacket that was already soaked with blood. I took a deep breath and then started to walk out of the woods.

“Go ahead! Walk away from your problems like you always did!” I heard Sarah’s voice from a distant, but that wasn’t what I cared about. I opened the door and rushed into my room, and started to stuff my luggage with any clothes that I found. Mom burst into the door.

“What the hell happened?” she asked, seeing my wet clothes and hair along with my suitcase. She was holding her phone as she said, “I just got a call from Jonah’s parents… what happened?”

“What did they tell you?” I asked curiously without making direct eye contact.

“They told me that Sarah found his body in the woods. It looked like some big animal attacked him.”

Oh. So that was the cover story. I wonder if Jonah’s parents knew what really happened. Probably not. “So… he’s dead?” I whispered, knowing the answer. But mom just nodded, dropping the phone to the floor and rushing to give me a hug. I took it and didn’t let go for what seemed like hours. I started to sob into her shoulders. I wanted to let her know what really happened. I wanted to let her know that I was responsible for Jonah’s death. When we finally let go, I saw that she was crying too.

“I’m so sorry darling. I miss him too.” She said, patting my hair.

“Mom?” she looked at me. I felt like a terrible person as I said, “I think I have to leave here. I want to go back to campus. I need to be there.”

“Already? I barely got to spend any time with you.” She said. I took a deep breath, knowing that if I got some time away from everything then maybe I would feel a little better. I didn’t think that I could bear Jonah’s funeral, let alone seeing Sarah again.

“Yeah mom, I’m sure. But don’t worry… we’ll keep in touch and I’ll come back here on Spring Break, okay?” Mom just nodded and hugged me again.

“I’m gonna miss you pumpkin.” She whispered, and I nodded. Soon, I was zipping up my suitcase and heading out the door into a cab to take me to the train station.

The ride from the reservation to campus was a big blur. All I remember was running my index finger over the necklace about a million times, with guilt weighing heavily on my heart. I had gotten a cab from the train station near Point Park all the way to campus, and gotten out; and I could significantly feel the big drop in temperature from Virginia.

This time I ignored the grand buildings and freshly trimmed hedges. I didn’t even notice the thick, flawless blanket of white snow that draped the whole place. I just trudged along with my suitcase, forcing myself from shedding any tears. Despite the bitter cold, my head felt hot and my body weak. I heard a loud honk from behind me and I looked back, startled.

There was another cab, identical to the one that I had ridden to campus. Its tires screeched as it halted suddenly. Then out came someone with unmistakable features: chiseled muscles, slender figure, dark brown hair, creamy white skin, and glowing green eyes… Jason…

“Lydia!” he called out to me. Suddenly, I forgot about everything that had happened during break and all I could see was him. He was here; he was here! I hadn’t seen him in what seemed like eternity, and all I needed was for him to hold me in his arms. I let go of my luggage and came to him. Once I was close, I grabbed him in a hug, and he hugged me right back. We stayed like that for a long time, and I didn’t even want to let go even though some people were outside and probably questioning our sanity.

But I didn’t care. All I cared about was Jason right now. When we let go, he held my face in his hands gently and said, “I missed you.” His voice was even silkier than I remembered.

“You don’t know how much I’ve missed you too.” I whispered back. I leaned in closer and kissed him. It was a somewhat cliché moment, but I couldn’t contain my excitement at seeing him. Soon we were walking back to my dorm. I unlocked the door and threw myself onto the comfortable bean bag chairs, glad to see that Celia wasn’t there. I just wanted some time for me and Jason right now.

He took a seat next to me and started telling me about the art competition. “It was amazing. I got third place, though.” He said.

“Well third place is great! There were so many people.” I encouraged.

“Yeah I guess.” He laughed. “So how was your break? Aren’t you back a bit early?” At first I didn’t say anything. “Not that I’m upset.” He said as he came closer to me and gave me another kiss.


But I didn’t enjoy it; because my mind was transported back to the rainy night of Jonah’s death. I was silent for a long time, until I couldn’t bear keeping everything to myself. “Jonah died.” I said, scared to hear the words out loud. But they were out, and the emptiness of the room mocked me. I continued the whole story, telling Jason everything about that strange night; the psychopath with freaky abilities like controlling fire and making things poof in and out of the air. Jason’s face was straight the whole time, but when I told him about the hooded man in the cloak, his eyebrows raised and I could sense that he became nervous. But the looked vanished as soon as it had come.

“I’m so sorry Lydia… I know he meant a lot to you.” He put his arms around my shoulders for comfort. But I wasn’t quite finished yet.

I moved his arms and sighed. “Jason, something weird also happened that night.” He nodded and I went on. “The murderer showed his face to me for a split second and I… well, he looked like the man from your painting. The half angel-half devil. Do you know him?” I was afraid of the answer, but before he could speak, the door slammed open.

We both turned our heads and saw Celia walk in. But she looked different. She walked with a certain confidence, and her skin seemed to be glowing along with her ponytail swinging. As we walked to her bed, she swung her hips defiantly. Before break, she had seemed shorter… and paler… and less curvy. Quickly she turned around and raised one eyebrow at me and Jason. “Welcome back Lydia.” I shuddered when she said my name. It reminded me of the way Jonah’s murderer spoke. “Hello Jason. Long time no see.” She tilted her head back and laughed.

I got up immediately, sensing something weird. “Um, hey Celia. You look… different?” The words came out less confident then I had intended them to be.

She cocked her head to the side and said, “Oh gosh. Don’t call me that utterly disgusting name!”

“But that’s your name? Isn’t it?”

A wide grimace showed itself on her face as she said, “Everything is not what it seems darling… but Jason here should know my name, right?” when she said Jason, she moved her head in his direction.

I looked at him suspiciously as he got up too. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said.

“Come on Jason. Don’t you remember Louisiana, 1962?” Jason looked momentarily confused, but then realization crossed his face.

“No… Ona? How are you here?” He was walking closer to her with caution.

She walked to her dresser and opened the top droor. “To do the job that you’re failing at sweetie.” When her hand came out of the droor, I saw that it held a miniature doll made out of cloth. A doll with long black hair, dark brown eyes, and tan skin… a doll identical to me?

“Don’t you dare!” Jason raised his voice, making his way toward her. But she swung the doll out of his reach and pressed its head with her hand hard.

“Ahhh!” I shrieked, bringing my hands to my head; which was writhing in pain. “Stop it! Ahhh!!!” I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. Hot tears started to fall down from my eyes, and I couldn’t breathe. I looked at Celia, but she was digging her thumbnail harder into the doll with a forceful look on her face. I felt the sharp jabs of pain and wished that it would stop.

“Ona, enough! Don’t do this!!” Jason shouted, finally wrenching the doll out her hands.

Celia untied her ponytail and soon her beautiful gray eyes flashed red. I was startled, but grateful that I could finally breathe again. But something odd happened... Celia was becoming… someone else? Her eyes stayed the bright red and her hair grew into long, wavy curls of glossy black hair; even darker than my own. Her body was becoming more and more curvy, and she grew in a couple of more inches. Her pale, translucent skin became a rich olive color; she resembled a Greek goddess, in some way. Her nails grew and changed into a rich red, same as her plump lips. Her jeans and sweatshirt glimmered and then transformed into a long, silky black gown, identical to her hair. I gasped.

How was this possible again?!

“Celia?” I mumbled, feeling the pain in my head become more and more dull.

She swiftly turned her head and said, “I told you! It is not Celia, it is Ona!!” She raised her voice dramatically and her eyes flared brighter than ever before. I took a few steps back, truly freaked out.

“Ona, stop this. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re too reckless right now.” Jason said, stretching his hand toward her.

“Why? You’re remembering the feeling? Being fire-bound? It’s a rush.” Ona said as Jason pressed his lips together, trying to contain something… anger? Frustration? What was he trying to do?

“Come on baby, you know you want to. Don’t you remember the exhilaration? Or have you forgotten the time we spent in Louisiana?” She winked at him and he closed his eyes.

His hands were literally shaking as he said slowly, “Ona… I said, no.” The words were spoken through clenched teeth.

“Jason, are you o-okay?” I whispered.

But no one answered me. Instead, Ona just laughed wickedly once more and said, “Well then. I see that you are trying to control yourself Jason… but I’m not. I was sent for her and that’s what I’m going to do.” She lowered her head and smiled, her chest moving up and down slowly; she was getting ready to pounce. Before I could move a muscle she rushed toward me and pinned my neck to the wall with her elbow. Her eyes flared once more and she whispered in my ear, “Darling… remember this well: Don’t trust anyone.”

I managed to say in a hoarse voice, “I don’t trust you right now.” Ona stopped smiling and put more force into her elbow, when Jason came up behind her and threw her across the room. She went crashing into the bed. I looked at Jason; he had red eyes too, exactly like Ona’s and exactly like… Jonah’s murderer.

“Don’t touch her!” Jason’s voice bellowed. It filled the silence of the room, and shocked me. Ona steadily got up from her bed, looking angrier than ever. There was a trickle of blood down her lip and she wiped it away, her hands shaking now instead of Jason’s. She looked up and spread her arms wide. Fire appeared from thin air and formed into the shape of wings; then it transformed into actual wings, with soft black feathers. I stepped back, bumping into Jason. I turned around to see the same pair of dark black wings. Astonished, I couldn’t even move. But I didn’t have to.

Swiftly, Jason jumped through the air and landed near Ona. He grabbed her by the neck, but she wrenched it away. Just like Jason, Ona herself had sculpted muscles and I didn’t doubt her strength one bit. “I’m taking her!!” she screamed as she swung her fist, aiming for his face. But he ducked and kicked her ankle. She went to the floor and he caught both of her wrists and flipped her over.

They both fought with unimaginable grace and agility. I wanted to stop them; I needed to stop them. What if Jason got hurt? So many thoughts buzzed my head that it made it hurt. I put a hand to my left temple, but then a hand grabbed my arm and spun me around. It was Ona. She ran to the window and busted it open with her fist. Her eyes were glowing red, and she was gripping my arm so tightly that I wanted to scream. Ona was right about to jump out when Jason took his hand and smashed her head against the windowsill, where several shards of glass lay broken. She let go of my grip slowly and fell to the floor, unconscious and bleeding heavily. The blood brought back memories of the pool of blood lying underneath Jonah, and I shuddered.

But I didn’t get time to remember the whole night fully, because Jason took me by the hand and said, “Come on. We have to get out of here.”

But I yanked it out of his reach and took a step back. “No. I don’t know you. I don’t know what you are.” I said, scared out of my mind. I looked at him carefully. All I saw were the large black wings outstretched from his back, the blood red eyes that were glowing, and Jason… fighting and hitting like a monster. An uncivilized monster. He wasn’t anything like the sweet, caring person that I thought I knew. My impression changed drastically in ten minutes; but these ten minutes had felt like ten hours.

Jason swiped his hair with one hand and looked around. “Look Lydia, I know how this looks. It looks bad. But you have to trust me.” He came closer to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “You have to.”

I knew that I shouldn’t have. Not after what I saw just now. But I looked into Jason’s eyes; yes, they were still red and dangerous, but I saw a hint of desperation… a hint of the old dazzling green that I loved the second I saw them. I took a deep breath and said, “Okay.”

We were eventually in the backroom of ‘King China’, both of us sitting on the chairs, the silence weighing heavy in the air. Finally, I broke it. “What was that?” I whispered, curious but afraid of the answer.

Jason looked at me; his eyes were still flaming red, but the scary black wings had disintegrated once we stepped into the room. He sighed and said, “I didn’t want to tell you Lydia.”

But suddenly I couldn’t hold in everything anymore. I felt as though everything bad that had happened had a connection to Jason. “Well I need to know!” I exclaimed forcefully. Then in an even tone I said, “Sorry, I got… carried away.” Ashamed, I looked down at the dusty carpet with cobwebs in the corner.

Jason laughed quietly; but it wasn’t one of those happy laughs like when someone told a joke… it was eerie and mysterious. “Don’t worry. I know the feeling.” He got up and walked to the window, gazing out at the snowy scenery. If all of this hadn’t happened, I probably would have enjoyed the weather. I might have even drunk hot coffee on the bench, taking in the crisp white blanket that covered the cement sidewalks.

“What do you mean?”

He turned around, his eyes slowly becoming softer and returning back to normal. He put his head in his hands and said, “I mean that I’ve made mistakes. I’ve been horrible… you wouldn’t want to know me if you knew the things that I had done.”

I cocked my head to the side. “What do mean?”

He lifted his head, eyes back to the glowing green that I was comforted by. “I’m not… I’m not what you think I am.”

“Honestly right now, I don’t know what you are.” I paused, reluctant to say more, but feeling that I needed to. “But I know that you can’t be that horrible since you saved me from Ona.”

He smiled and said, “Ona’s different. She’s…” I raised an eyebrow and he laughed again, reminding me more of the old Jason. “Lydia, we go way back. But it’s in the past.”

I got up and put a hand on his shoulder. “Well, we’ve got plenty of time. Tell me.” We held each other’s eyes for a moment when he moved my hand to my side and motioned for me to sit down. We both took our seats.

He sighed and said, “Where do I start? Lydia… do you believe in, like mythical creatures??”

At first I was about to answer by giving him the definition of the word ‘mythical’. But my mind transported me back to my room when I was thirteen years old and obsessed with reading all sorts of fantasy books, and crazy answers came spilling out of my mouth. “Oh my gosh! Are you a wizard? A werewolf? A vampire?!” Once those words came out, I realized how stupid I sounded.

Jason tried to contain a smile, but failed. He outright started to laugh. “Nope. I’m pretty sure I don’t cast spells, sprout hair on the full moon, or suck blood out of necks.” He laughed some more and I got a bit defensive.

“Well you asked a stupid question so I gave stupid answers!” He stopped laughing and just smiled.

“Okay, okay… but you didn’t answer my question.”

I thought about it for a while and said, “I guess so; I mean, my dad was a paranormal scientist.”

“So what things do you believe in?”

Instead of protesting the dumb questions, I said, “Um… ghosts, mostly?”

“Do you believe in god?”

I was never really religious, and neither were my parents. But I remembered that before my dad had died, he had taken a sudden interested in studying different religions. I remember seeing piles and piles of books like the Bible, the Gita, the Qur’an, and the Torah, along with several others. “I was never religious, but I guess someone had to make the world, right?”

“And do you believe in the devil?”

For some reason, the hairs on my arm rose at the name. “Yes I do.” I said. “It’s the only explanation for all of evil.” I wasn’t certain of many worldly things, but I was definitely certain of this… for some, unexplainable reason.

Jason took a deep breath and whispered, “What if I told you that I knew… that I knew everything about him. About his existence, about those who work for him, about anything and everything.”

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Are you crazy? Did Ona hit you too hard?!” My ears heard his words but didn’t register them in my brain.

“Lydia, look, you need to calm down. I have a lot to tell you.”

“You’re making this up. You need some sleep. You must be tired.” I babbled on.

“No. I need to tell you this.” I took a deep breath and let him continue. “Lydia, I’m not human. I never was human. I started off as a… angel.” There was silence that Jason broke soon, “I know that you’re shocked. But please let me explain.” There was desperation in his voice, so I remained quiet. “I was an angel. A guardian angel. My job was to protect the people that I was assigned to take care of. But I came down on Earth to help James Randolph. He was a leukemia patient, living in Louisiana in 1962.”

“But I met Ona. She was dazzling…” A pang of jealousy was felt at the bottom of my abdomen, but I pushed it aside, wanting to hear more. “I fell quickly and recklessly in love. I was so in love that I neglected my responsibility toward James. He was only fifteen years old, and died. I could have saved him…” Jason was silent for a moment, as if he went back in time and was in Rio. I could see the guilt overtake his face. He sighed and said, “I was punished… I was stripped of my angelic powers and made into a regular, mortal human. I was angry, disappointed, and every imaginable terrible feeling possible. But Ona took me with her somewhere. She didn’t tell me where we were going, but I trusted her.”

“We were in hell.” My heart pounded at the words that came out of Jason’s mouth. I didn’t want to hear anymore; but something forced me to stay seated and listen. “I met Abaddon – the devil.” Another pause and I looked at the dusty floors once more. I just couldn’t bear to look straight into those green eyes. “Abaddon wanted me to work for him. He said he saw great potential in me; he told me that I was destined to be part of a great plan of his. He offered me immortality, power, wealth, ability… he made me a Fallen Angel.”

Jason looked at me and I was forced to return his stare instead of deliberately looking at the floor. “Lydia, I had changed. I became…”

“Evil.” I whispered.

Jason didn’t even try to defend himself. “I’m guilty. I’ve done things for him… I’ve killed. I’ve hunted humans like they were prey and I was the predator; all to keep what I had. But I was fire-bound.”


“What do you mean?”

“Being fire-bound is something that only we demons can feel. It’s because our hearts are bound to him; under his control. Our eyes turn red, we sprout our black wings, and we feel complete… loyalty to him. It happens when we feel strong emotions. Do you understand?”

I didn’t completely understand; but one question had bothered me since I saw Celia turn into Ona. “How come Ona hurt me with that doll?”

Jason pressed his lips together and said, “She met Abaddon while she was just a human. Ona was a voodoo priestess. She attracted Abaddon, who fell in love with her a while back.”

I crossed my arms. “Oh. So she was like the slut of the underworld?”

Jason laughed quietly and whispered, “I guess. Kind of. Well, anyways, she always played with voodoo powers, and was skilled in it. She became a she-devil, or a demon that worked for Abaddon, because he wanted her expertise. She also recruited several other demons who now work for him. That’s why she was able to hurt you like that.”

So that explained seeing Celia with the doll that night I woke up and saw her throw it against the wall; and it also explained the throbbing pain in my leg that followed. But one more urgent question escaped my lips. “So did Abaddon k-kill… Jonah?”

“I think so.” Jason whispered. And that was all it took. Everything that I had been listening to unraveled in my head, and I couldn’t contain it anymore. Jason wasn’t Jason. He was something else… some horrible, evil, despicable, creature. A creature with wings, and red eyes, and with a deep connection to the devil. Nothing I knew was true. Did the Earth still spin? Was there still four seasons? Did I have ten finger and ten toes? My mind was spinning and I felt true anger and guilt because of Jonah’s death.

I knew that I should have stayed and listened more; I wanted to get a more thorough explanation of all of this new stuff. But my blood was boiling at the thought that Jason had something to do with the death of Jonah. “Jason… I can’t believe… He died, Jason!! Jonah died! Because of Abaddon!!!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

“Lydia…”

“No! Jason, listen to me; it’s my turn right now! I can’t believe that you know the person that snatched the life away from Jonah. It was my entire fault, but Abaddon did it with his own hands! He’s a murderer! You’re a murderer!!”

Jason got up and so did I. He tried to hold my hand but I pulled it away. “Don’t you dare!” I shouted.

“Lydia, please don’t do this. I had no idea that this would happen.”

“But you yourself said that you had killed people. You’re no better than the devil himself!”

“But everything’s changed since I met you. My heart… it’s slipping away. It belongs to you. Lydia, I haven’t been like what I told you since I saw you; and since I kissed you. I love you, Lydia.”

I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, but it didn’t work. I was still seething fury. “No, Jason. Right now, I can’t. Y-you aren’t who I thought you were; you’re not even close. I have to go.”

And with those words I swiftly ran out of the backroom. As my feet hit the ground hard, the words that Ona had whispered in my ears repeated over and over again in my head. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t trust anyone.

And I wasn’t going to. Not after what just happened. There wasn’t a chance of it.

I woke up in the middle of the night five times. I’d been having terrible nightmares of Jason and Ona fighting… and Jason becoming fire-bound… and Abaddon killing Jonah… and Abaddon coming for me… and Jason hurting me…
After the fifth nightmare I gave up trying to sleep. I got up and started pacing my dorm. When I had come back from ‘King China’ I rushed into my dorm to find everything a mess. The walls had dents in them. The contents on top of the dresser were spilled all over the floor. The window that Ona had smashed was still shattered in pieces. There were dried-blood stains near the window sill, but no sign of Ona. I looked out the window and everything outside seemed normal; but inside, everything was but normal.
As I paced around the room I noticed the unmistakable blood stains on the wall from Ona’s head. I felt grossed out, and felt the strong need to clean it. So I took a sponge from the bathroom, wet it, and started scrubbing the stains right off the wall. After five minutes, everything was gone and I threw the sponge in the trash in disgust. I continued to pace around the room until I stepped on something. The light wasn’t on, so I couldn’t see clearly. I bent down and touched the object. My fingers felt soft cloth and i realized what I was touching: the Voodoo Doll.
I was immediately afraid, and so shocked that I lost my balance and landed on my butt. “Ow!” I said, but then regained my focus. I scooped up the doll and handled it carefully, turning it around and around, studying all of its features. Unmistakably, it was made to look identical to me. Freaked out, I gently put the doll in the bathroom cabinet, behind the three tubes of toothpaste I had.
I returned to my bed, dreading the remaining three days left of winter break. At least when the new semester starts again I would be distracted by classes and grades and everything else. But for right now I would have to be creative in the ways to avoid Jason. I didn’t have much thought out, except that I knew I didn’t want to see him, hear him, or have anything to do with him.
After listing thought after thought mentally, I managed to fall asleep. My body was exhausted from everything that had happened, and it sunk into the comfortable sheets and cushy pillow. Slowly my mind drifted to a safer, happier place; where nothing horrible happened and where peace thrived.
I was on the beach. I didn’t know exactly what beach, or how I got there, but I was dressed in a bathing suit and my hair was tied in an intricate braid, flowing all the way to my back. I was sitting on the sand with my hands wrapped around my knees, gazing out onto the deep sea-blue ocean. The waves were rolling on the shore softly, wetting the sand nearby. I picked up a clump of hot sand and let it fall slowly back to the ground. The sun was warming my back, and the soft breeze was causing the palm trees to sway toward the ocean. I took a deep breath, about to just lie down and take a nap, when a voice came from the shore.
“Lydia!! Over here!” It was a man’s voice. A very familiar voice… Startled, I got up on my feet, looking all over, but found no one but me on the beach.
“I’m here too!” another voice shouted. This was a woman’s voice. Again, it was very familiar.
“What?” I said quietly to myself. The sun was shining even brighter, so I put a hand to my forehead, blocking the light from my eyes. “Where are you!? Who are you?” I shouted out to the ocean, where I guessed the ghost voices were coming from.
“Lydia… come to the shore!” the man’s voice called to me. Hesitantly, I walked down toward the shore, my eyes peeled for anyone. My toes were touched lightly by the cool water, and I was just about to dive into the waves when a cold hand touched my shoulder. Shocked, I jumped back, and looked all around. But no one was there.
I started to panic. “Who are you!?” I shouted, and then the wind started to blow the sand in my eyes. The waves became rougher as they crashed onto the shore. The bright blue sky turned gray.
“Nooo… we’re losing the connection Jonah!” the woman’s voice said.
“Don’t worry Track, just focus!” yelled the man. Wait. Jonah? Track? Oh my goodness… were they here right now?
I waved my arms up and down excitedly. “Guys! Over here! I’m over here!” I screamed out into the air. Where were they? Another cold hand touched my arm more firmly, and the water became gentler, and the clouds cleared up. I felt a little gust of wind and then a shadowy figure came in front of my eyes… actually, two shadowy figures. The shapes slowly formed features, but stayed transparent.
On the right was the figure that resembled Jonah. It was tall, lean, with short hair and dimples that were showing. On the left was a figure that resembled Track. It had all of the right piercings in all of the right places, and even the bob cut. If she wasn’t transparent and ghost-like, then I would bet a million bucks that she was clad in clothing that was black. “Oh my gosh… is it really you two??” I exclaimed in disbelief.
It was Jonah who walked toward me and put his hand out. I tried to take it but my own hand fell right through. He winced. “Ow… it hurts whenever that happens.”
“Sorry.” I mumbled, still taking in their presence. So many emotions were filling up my body that I felt like it was about to bubble up to the top and explode.
“Lydia, it’s really us. We’re here.” Track whispered, smiling. I knew that took a lot of effort for Track, dead or not; because if I knew one thing, it was that Track’s smiles are very rare and not easy to come by.
“B-but how?” I croaked, finding it hard to speak and breathe and stand straight up all at the same time.
Jonah looked straight into my eye and said, “I’m a Fantasma. Both of us are Fantasmi.”
“What? What do you mean? You guys are dead…” I said, looking away at the ocean, not able to bear looking straight into their eyes.
Track came closer to me and said, “Look, Lydia: we have very little time to explain… you know about Abaddon, right?” I nodded solemnly as she continued, “When he killed us, we ended up in a strange place. It was like a really dark cave.”
“There were tons and tons of other people too. All of them were lost and scared.” Jonah added.
Track took a deep breath, “When Abaddon kills someone with his own hands, they become a Fantasma… that means that they’re bounded to the place between Earth and Heaven: the middle ground. Sometimes we can get connection to the Earth, but we’re basically stuck forever.” She paused, and more than sorrow and sympathy for them, I felt guilt. I felt truly, horribly, guilty.
Jonah sighed and said, “Lydia, we can’t go anywhere. It took us a lot of energy and effort to come to you… but we had to come to you. We had to tell you something important.”
“What is it?” I asked, afraid for the answer.
He continued, “Listen. You’re in danger. You have to be careful… Abaddon is coming for you and he won’t stop. He tortures and destroys and takes pleasure in pain. We came here to warn you.”
My guilt was overtaken by confusion immediately. “What do you mean? What do you mean by ‘he’s coming for you’? Jonah, Track, I have so many questions.”
“And we want to answer them!” Track exclaimed. “We really want to, but we can’t. It took an immense amount of power to get here, and I already feel the connection becoming weaker.”
“No, no, no!” I begged, “Please don’t go you guys. How did you even get here? Am I dreaming?”
“You’re not. We took this chance to enter your thoughts. Now since we’re Fantasmi, we thrive off of nature. You were dreaming of a beach and we were able to take control of that dream. But you have to listen to us, now more than ever Lydia. It’s a long story, but we know that you’re in danger.” Jonah said in an extremely serious tone of voice.
As I looked at two of my deceased friends, I wanted to cry. Actually, I wanted to dive head first into the cold ocean water and never bring my head up above for oxygen. How did I dare look at them when they would have been better off without me in their lives? They would have probably been alive without me… “Jonah, Track, I can’t let you two go. Not this time. Please try to stay back. Please try to keep the connection. Please. ” But my pleas were useless, because I saw Jonah’s transparent figure fading away slowly. “At least give me a sign that this was all real!” I shouted after the fading shapes.
“Bye Lydia. Be careful.” Track said, and her voice was distant.
Even though it was hopeless, I ran after them. Sand was flying in all directions from the sloppy movements of my feet. “Wait!!” I shouted after them, barely able to make out the figures. “Jonah please… can you forgive me? I’m so sorry that you died because of me. I’m sorry that you are going to be a Fantasma forever! Jonah!!” My voice was practically louder than the ocean as I shouted it at the disappearing shapes.
Then they were gone. Forever.
And I didn’t know when or if I would ever see them again. Or if Jonah heard me apologizing. But I knew that if I apologized a million times, it still wouldn’t be enough. It still wouldn’t reverse what had already taken place. But why did Track die? What was the reason for Abaddon taking her life? And what did they mean by watch out because he’s coming for me? All I remember was staring at the spot where the two Fantasmi were standing and feeling a horrible empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
And then I woke up, with a strange, giddy feeling that was part nausea and part of me still in the dream from last night. The window was still broken, and rays of light were peeping through the empty holes. I got up and stretched for a minute, shocked at the look in my face when I glanced at the mirror. And honestly… I’ve looked better.
My hair was in messy knots and spread all over the place, it looked like I’d been electrocuted. My skin was greasy and my eyes had bags under them. My lips were dry and cracked and my nose was red. I heard my stomach growl loudly beneath my pajama shirt and I realized that I hadn’t eaten in what seemed like forever. Not only that, but unless I was going crazy (which was a totally rational explanation for everything that was going on) it looked like I had lost weight. My collar bone was protruding out more than normally, and my cheekbones were more prominent, as if my cheeks had deflated. This was not a healthy version of me.
I was quick to hop into the shower after being scared by my own reflection. While being pelted with hot water it dawned on me that I had been under so much tension and stress and unhappiness that something must have happened where I forgot to eat or drink or sleep for that matter. After a while, my brain was just relaxed in the shower. I got out and dressed in a pair of jeans, a long-sleeved shirt with a floral pattern, and a pair of shiny black boots. After the shower, I noticed that I looked better already. Then my growling stomach forced me to leave my room and walk down to Panera Bread.
In a matter of minutes I was scarfing down a gigantic bagel with about a pound of cream cheese, and still not satisfied. Then, after gulping down two glasses of orange juice and one glass of ice tea, my stomach was slightly more tamed. I sat down on the chair, looking out at the window, suddenly feeling sleepy.
But then I saw him walking toward the restaurant… Jason. Just the sight of him made me start to scramble. I grabbed all of my trash and dumped it down the garbage bin, looking for a back door or something of the sort. But there was nothing, and as I looked to the exit I saw that Jason’s eye had caught mine. He had already seen me. How did he know I was here? He entered the building and walked straight toward me instead of the counter to order food. “Lydia.” He mumbled, looking at me deeply. Jason looked dazzling, but I forced every muscle in my body to stay away from him. My eyes were cast down to the floor as I walked past him, our arms brushing against each other for a second. “Lydia, wait, please.” Jason said, a bit louder this time. But I pressed my lips together and kept one foot in front of the other, determined not to look back.
I started walking around aimlessly, looking up every couple of minutes to see trees or a bench or some trash littered along the sidewalk. A lot of people were outside today, even though the air was a little nippy. After a while I just took a seat on an empty bench, feeling a lump in my throat. What was I doing? Why was I avoiding Jason? He told me the truth… he was at least that honest with me. I have so many questions; and I need answers. I looked around at the scenery. Snow was still fresh on the ground, showing my footprints that led up to the bench that I was sitting on.
My mind was waged in the middle of war. One side told me to run back to Jason and get everything straight. It told me that I needed answers more than anything, and that I shouldn’t have such a big ego; especially since Jonah and Track had warned me about danger. But the other side told me that Jason was to be trusted. It told me that Jason would never harm me in any way, and that he is the first person that I have had such strong feelings about. That side told me that I loved Jason.
But I didn’t know which side to listen to. And each second the war was getting stronger and more powerful and I was getting more confused. I sighed and looked up at the sky. “Give me a sign. Tell me what to do. Please.” I had no clue who I was talking to, but maybe someone would hear me and give me help.
In ten minutes I was back in my dorm, looking through a pile of books, trying to decide which one to read. Maybe reading would take my mind off of this… whatever ‘this’ was. I grabbed an ancient edition of “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” that had a practically torn cover. I suddenly felt bad for abusing this book as a child. Oh well.
I plopped down on my bed, but something caught the corner of my eye. Something red. Something with petals. Something with a note attached to it. I placed the book down and picked up the rose. It smelled absolutely delightful… carefully I unraveled the note and found this one sentence written in beautiful script:
I forgive you for everything, Lydia.
~Your friend, dead or alive, Jonah.
I smiled as I read the words over and over again; I read them aloud and I read them in my head. Those few wonderful words brought tears to my eyes, and eventually wet the paper. I held the rose close to my heart and closed my eyes, seeing an image of Jonah as a Fantasma… despite bounded to the middle ground forever, I hope he and Track were resting in peace right now. Something about the note and the flower made me sense Jonah’s presence, and it felt good, to say the least.
He had forgiven me. He heard my last pleas of apology for causing him to die. A heavy burden was lifted off of my shoulders. Guilt was still buried deep in my mind, but most of it had drifted away now. I took a deep breath and gently placed the rose in a glass full of water; I knew it deserved a fancier vase than just a glass, but it was all I had for right now. I placed the rose on the windowsill, next to the shattered window. I thought that this little bit of happiness and hope would brighten up the spot where Ona left her mark. No longer would the broken window haunt me or remind me of that terrible night when she and Jason had fought… because Jonah’s flower would be protecting me from it.
And that night I fell asleep soundly. And I’m pretty sure that I owed it to Jonah and Track… wherever they were.

The next day went by pretty quickly. I refused to let myself think about anything that would possibly give me nightmares… I banned myself from thinking about Jason. I went to bed early after scarfing down a turkey sandwich, and woke up the next morning eager to know that classes were going to resume.

Now I would have things to do and no time to spare that would get me thinking and analyzing the whole Fallen Angel thing. My mind’s war would take a break. School would be a good distraction. Quickly, I got ready and tied my hair into a ponytail. In my left hand was half a bagel and in my right hand was my laptop case that I slinging onto my shoulder. I swallowed the last bit of the bagel and opened up the door. Okay… which class did I have first?

After going through my head, figuring out my schedule I walked toward the creative writing class. The sun was out today, and the snow was slowly melting. Ugh. I can’t wait until spring when the weather warms up some more. I entered the room and took an open seat. Now I was preoccupied with work and writing. I opened up my laptop and began typing the date of today’s notes. Then I heard someone clear their throat. I turned my head and…

Dammit. It was Jason. I forgot that he had this class, too. Why did he even need to go to college if he’s immortal and rich and a Fallen Angel? He was still looking at me when I turned my head the other way. I looked around the room, searching for other open seats; but there weren’t. Great.

He took my hand gently in one of his. “Hey.” He said; his throat kind of scratchy instead of the usual silky tone.

“Hi.” I said coldly, my eyes on the laptop screen. But I could still feel his eyes on me. Couldn’t he just leave?

I moved my hand away from his. He cocked his head to the side, trying to catch my eye. “Lydia, I really need to talk to you. Please, just give me a chance. I didn’t get to explain everything.”

“I think you told me everything I need to know a couple days ago.” I whispered, still focused on my blank laptop screen.

He sighed. “I didn’t tell you everything. I can’t force you, but if you want to hear it then come to the coffee shop near the Chinese Restaurant at lunch.” His voice was still scratchy, and my hands were suddenly shaking.

I didn’t say anything back. I just listened to the professor drone on and on about different styles of writing. I was eager before to come to class, but suddenly I just wanted to lie down. On the outside it seemed as though I was listening carefully to the lecture; but on the inside, a million things were zooming by my brain. When class was over I was relieved and I rushed out the door as quickly as I could, hoping to avoid another confrontation with Jason.

But on my way to history class I stopped walking. What was I doing? School wasn’t being a very good distraction right now, because I had started thinking about Jason. I was trying to ignore him because I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t going to continue dating him like before because things were very different now. But I didn’t want to act as if he didn’t exist, because clearly, he did. So the only thing to do was ignore him… but that wasn’t working because he was being too nice not to ignore me too. And I did still have so many questions, especially since Jonah and Track visited me in my dreams. Jason was the only person that could answer those questions.

But did I trust him? I had a strange numb feeling as I finally made my way toward history class. I had that numb feeling spread all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes throughout history class. That feeling was still there throughout the rest of my classes. And then the day was done. My classes were over.

Now I had two choices: Go back to my safe dorm, or march right over to the coffee shop. I was so torn between the two that I was considering flipping a coin. But the side of my mind that wanted me to go to Jason won over me, and soon I was entering the shop. Jason was one of the few people there, sitting at a table for two, with two steaming hot coffee’s in his hands. I walked over to the table and sat across him.

He smiled that smile that showed off his pearly white teeth; it reminded me of the same smile he gave me when I met him on the way to class, and in the Sprint Store, and in my dorm… I snapped out of my daze. “Hi.” I said, looking into his bright green eyes for the first time in a while. I had a small vision of those very eyes turning red, but that faded away as quickly as it came. I sat down.

He handed me the coffee and said, “You came.” I nodded and took a sip. The hot liquid was strong and bitter, kind of like my heart right now. I could feel the war in my head get even more powerful. But I could also feel that numb feeling going away slowly.

I put the coffee down and said, “Jason, why did you want me to come here?”

He looked at me deeply and I didn’t look away this time. “Because I’m an idiot. I was always an idiot. And you deserve someone better than me… but I don’t know if I could bear that.” He stopped talking and I swallowed, not sure what to say. “Lydia, I made a mistake years ago and I can’t go back. I’m bound to Abaddon. But my heart belongs to you. And I’m horrible because I don’t deserve forgiveness. But I’m sorry.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling my stony heart soften a bit. He… apologized. Granted, that won’t fix anything; he’ll still be a Fallen Angel. But my anger washed over. I wanted to hold onto that fury, but I couldn’t. I remembered how much I missed him when I was at home. I remembered how I was brave enough to kiss him because I liked him so much. “Jason…” I whispered, my own voice getting scratchy, “I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you. You were trying to talk to me but I-”

Jason reached over the table and took my hand. “Don’t say that. I would’ve done the same. The whole thing just sprung up on you.” I took a deep breath and smiled for the first time in days. Suddenly the air was warmer and I the war in my mind had ceased.

“Can I trust you?” I whispered.

“You can trust me with your life.” He responded. And I looked straight into those two pools of green and saw a twinkle in them. I knew he was telling the truth. We just sat there for a moment, the silence not uncomfortable. The coffee shop was empty except for us and the one employee who had gone into the backroom. “Lydia… I love you.” Jason said so softly. Those three words: I-love-you. He had just said that. He had just told me that he loved me! And I knew that my feelings for him were past just liking him.

“I love you too.” I whispered.

And then all I remember was getting up, trashing the coffee and then heading back to my dorm. I was happy and giggly and, yes, a bit air-headed, but I remember kissing each other. Then watching some TV and laughing and eating popcorn. And then kissing some more. Jason’s lips were soft and gentle but strong at the same time. The way I felt couldn’t be described in words…

I forgot all of the questions I had about Abaddon and Fantasmi and everything else. I just wanted to be with Jason. I realized that I didn’t love him just because he looked picture-perfect. I wasn’t that shallow. I loved him because he was caring and would be willing to do anything for me; he would protect me, I had no doubt. He was funny and charming and cared about me and loved me just as much as I loved him, if not more. My heart always beats faster when I’m around him. It threatens to come out of my chest, and that’s never happened before.

He was a Fallen Angel, but despite the odds I could still tell that his heart belonged with me; and my heart belonged to him. It was so simple, but so complicated. That’s how I knew that it was love.

We spent the rest of the day like that, just… together. I had ditched my homework, but promised myself that I was going to do it later on. It was late when Jason had to go. I was yawning, but not willing to let him go. But I had to, so I did. Soon I was in my bed, smiling to myself, and not exactly sure why. But then the door opened and Jason came back inside. “I forgot something.” He said.

“Oh.” I mumbled under my blanket. He came closer to me and kissed my forehead.

“Goodnight.” He whispered.

“Goodnight.” I said, smiling again. He hadn’t forgotten anything; he just forgot to say goodnight. The thought of that was sweet, and I held on to his image as he walked out of the dorm and I fell asleep.

The next day the Dean asked me to come see him. I was scared at first, wondering what I did, but all he told me was that I wouldn’t be getting a third roommate. Apparently ‘Cecilia’ (aka Ona) dropped out of Point Park and I would just have the dorm to myself. In his office I had just nodded politely, but in my head I was jumping up and down shouting Yes! Yes!

After that I immediately walked to class and paid attention to every word the professors said. I drunk in every last bit of information and stored them in my head and on my laptop. By the end of the day my fingers were sore from typing with such speed on the keyboard, trying to take good notes on the lectures. I saw down in my dorm, catching up on the neglected homework while Jason was still in class. My brain was practically buzzing with information as I completed different assignments. After a couple hours I sat on one of the bean bag chairs and stuck in my iPod. I went through the long list of songs and ended up replaying a couple of ‘One Direction’ songs over and over again. I remember finding out about their band and admiring the cool British accents and amazing songs. And I remember wishing I could sing like that. Gosh… I was obsessed with them for a while.

I was just about to replay another one of their songs when the door opened. I half-expected Jason to walk in, but instead a stranger walked in. She was about my height, had a face full of freckles and tomato-red hair tied in a tight bun. Her jeans were very loose on her, as though her legs were practically swimming in them. Her blue t-shirt had a yellow stain on the side and constantly tugged the hem of it.

I unplugged my iPod and said, “Hi.”

She took a look around the room. “Hello.” She waved. She had a slight lisp. “Um, I’m Laura. I think this is for you.” She held a small box and walked toward me with it. Who was she?

She handed me the box and I opened it. It was empty. “Huh?” I said, looking at her, “There must be some mistake. Are you sure this is for me?”

Laura looked at me and her eyes flashed bright red, which was identical to her fiery hair. I gasped and got up to my feet. “W-who are you?” I said, my hands shaking.

She smiled deviously and said, “I’m here to get the necklace.” Her lisp was gone. Her eyes were completely red now. The words were spat out like something a snake would say.

I looked around the room, my eyes lingering on the jewelry box on my dresser for a second too long. I had put dad’s necklace in there. And this girl had noticed it too. She walked toward it, and I jumped in front of her. “You can’t!” I shouted, ready to give up my life for the necklace like Jonah had. “Who are you?”

Laura’s eyes were intensely focused on the jewelry box, but she still pushed me aside. Her sticky fingers were almost there but I made a pathetic attempt at hurting her by throwing my pillow at her head. She turned around, looking amused. “Little girl… don’t be naughty. Just give me the necklace. Only you can give it to me.”

“What do you mean?” I asked cautiously.

“It is your object, so only you can give it to me.” Her voice was slithery like a serpent’s.

“And why should I give it to you?” I asked.

She cackled and whispered, “So no more of your friends or family dies.” I shuddered and Goosebumps instantly covered my flesh.

“You’re…” I stuttered.

“Abaddon.” She finished for me. I got flashbacks of Jonah and Track’s warnings. I had to be careful. “I am anywhere and everywhere child. Now hand it to me.” She stuck out her hand and motioned for me to give her the necklace.

I had to give it to her. There were no options left. Jonah had already died, and I couldn’t let anyone else get hurt. But the words of warning forced me to stay rooted to the spot. What if, in some twisted way, Abaddon would be able to hurt me with that necklace? Or hurt anybody else? Certainly if he wanted it then it was worth wanting… it had to be special and powerful at the least. “No, I won’t.” I said, forcing myself to not give it to her.

She shook her head. “Not a wise decision my dear Lydia. Remember, I can come to you in any shape or form. Today I am a girl, but tomorrow I might be a dog that comes to attack you; you don’t know.”

“And I don’t care.” I spat out, being confident and standing up for Jonah.

“Maybe you will learn in the future not to be so hasty and rude.” Abaddon whispered. “You’ve already lost a friend, Jack, was it?”

“It was Jonah?” I said through clenched teeth.

“Oh yeah… I hope he’s just fine being stuck in the middle of Earth and Heaven.” I wanted to do something to shut her up, and not disappoint Jonah. I wanted to take revenge for him, but I couldn’t right now. “Perhaps when you don’t have a mother you will listen to me next time and hand over the necklace.”

And with that, she walked out of the room. I ran after her, but she was gone. There was no sign of her being in the hallways. I gasped, scared. What was he going to do to mom?

Panic soon took over my whole body. It was shaking because of my meeting with Abaddon. He wasn’t what I expected. Maybe I pictured the devil horns and the red tail; but I didn’t see a pale, freckled girl as one of his versions; and this scared me more, since there was no way of telling who or what he was in the shape of.

Don’t trust anyone. Ona’s words came back into my ear, and I shuddered. After standing in shock for minutes something in my brain connected and I realized that he was going to do something… to mom. My body shook more, but I ignored this. I had to do something. I couldn’t let mom get hurt. No way; not after seeing with my own eyes what happened to Track and Jonah.

But what could I do? I mean, I had no telling of how or when or what exactly the damn devil had in mind. Even if I did, physically, what could I do? I felt a hopeless, helpless feeling that I always hated. Like when someone asks you a question that you don’t know the answer to.

Or the feeling you get when you see your friend die right in front of you but can’t do anything about it. I racked my head for anything I could do, hopelessly confused. I was thinking too much! If I took anymore time in thinking, something bad could happen. I let my rational self melt away, and relied on my instinct. I rushed to grab a wad of cash and stuff it in my pockets as I ran out the door.

I let my legs lead me. They were running, faster and faster. My breath was coming out heavily and I found myself at ‘King China’. My muscles pushed me past the front door and all the way to the backroom. I didn’t care about the looks that came my way as I crashed through the restaurant. As I burst through the backroom door my eyes scanned the room for Jason. He was sitting at the desk, his hands carefully moving over a sheet of paper with his eyebrows narrowed. He was in deep concentration. But he lifted his head in surprise when I slammed the door.

“I need your help.” I looked at him with desperation. If anyone could help me it would be him.

He got up and came to me. His hands came up to my shoulders. “What happened?” Concentration was taken over by concern in his eyes.

I took a deep breath and recalled everything that had happened. “He threatened to hurt her, Jason. I don’t know what he’s going to do.” My lip quivered and I felt the tears wavering at the surface of my eyes. I didn’t know if I could stand anything else happening to the people that I loved.

He squeezed my shoulders and said, “Lydia, don’t worry. We’ll do something… he’s probably….”

“Probably what?” I asked.

He let go of me and sighed. “I think the best chance of us finding Abaddon and helping your mom is going to hell. He keeps all of his… victims… in a special place there.” I gulped at the word ‘victims’.

“Then let’s go! We have to go now.” I felt my instinct kicking in. My instinct that would drive me to save my mom.

Without another word Jason took his sheet of paper and stuffed it into a drawer. I didn’t know how we were going to get to hell, but I was willing to do anything to get to mom. Jason stood at the center of the room and closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were a bright red color. I was a bit afraid, but shook it off, knowing that Jason was going to help me. His hands balled up into fists and he lifted his head slightly. The air in front of him began to churn; and then turn into small golden specs. The specs spun faster and faster, eventually transforming into fire. I could feel the immense heat from the distance that I was at. “Jason…” I whispered.

He turned to face me; his eyes were back to normal. Well, back to beautiful, that is. “Come on.” He beckoned me to the fiery portal.


I took a step forward but instantly went two steps back. The fire was real and extremely hot. My palms became sweaty, and suddenly I was too stricken with fear to move myself. “I can’t. It’s fire.” I mumbled.

“I promise you won’t get hurt. Just come forward.”

I shook my head. “Is there any other way?” I crossed my fingers.

“No there isn’t.” He looked at the vicious flames that were beginning to fade. “We have to go now. Otherwise it will go out.”

“Jason, that’s fire.” I repeated, “I could die. I’m just a human, not immortal.” I bowed my head in shame. I was such a coward.
He came closer to me and held out his hand. “I’m here for you. Do you trust me to protect you?” There was a moment of silence. I let that question hang in the air for a while. Then I answered it by putting my hand into his. He smiled softly and then slowly walked toward the fire. My hand was sweating even more. Then Jason let go of it… and swooped me off my feet effortlessly. I took a sharp breath as he stepped into the fire… and we plunged downward to hell.
It was an exhilarating moment. I held my breath and tightened my grip against Jason’s neck. The fire didn’t burn me to death, but I felt a strange tingling sensation on my skin. It was soft and then got more intense. I felt the rush of air as we swooped down. It felt like my stomach had reached the ground before the rest of my body. The farther down we went, the hotter it got; as if we were traveling to the Earth’s molten core. But pressing my scared self against Jason’s chest made it better.
The loud noise of falling immediately came to a halt. I let my breath out as we tumbled onto the ground. My eyes had been closed the whole time. But they opened when my stomach came in direct contact with a hard surface. It sent waves of pain rippling through my body. I opened my eyes and found Jason, who had fallen onto his back. “Ow…” I moaned, pushing myself up onto my feet.
“I never land right.” Jason mumbled as he got up too, brushing some dust off of his shoulder. Despite the throbbing pain in my left shoulder, I smiled. It was still unbearably hot, so I shed my sweatshirt off and tied it around my waist. I stretched my arms in my blue tank-top, catching Jason’s eyes lingering on me.
When he noticed that I was looking back at him he directed his gaze to the front. My mouth dropped open in shock. “Wow.” I said in awe. The rough floor that we had landed on was pure marble, shiny and sleek. It glowed and we could see our reflections in it. My hair was open and flowing. I lost some of the color in my face from that terrifying drop. I looked much healthier than I did before (I had been eating instead of skipping meals because of stress).
There was a wide, long stretch of marble that seemed to go on and on. There were marble pillars with paintings of large green snakes twisting themselves around them. I heard a few hisses, but forced myself to ignore them. Above the tall pillars lay torches that burnt with fire. Jason took the lead and I followed. We walked in silence, following the marble path. My mind wandered to dangerous thoughts. What if we were too late? What if Abaddon had already gotten to mom? What if she was hurt? What if she was…?
I snapped myself out of my horrid thoughts before they could get any worse. The long marble path ended with three large doors. They were wooden and all adorned the same snake emblem that was on the pillars. The two doors on the edge were about seven feet with silver doorknobs. The door in the middle had the same snake symbol, but was a fiery red instead of the normal green, and was about ten feet tall. It had a gigantic golden doorknob that I was immediately drawn to. Without realizing it, I had walked toward the middle door, my hand stretched out to open it. “Lydia!” Jason snapped.
I spun my head around. “Huh?” I said dazedly.
“Don’t open that door. It’s the entrance to the main lair.”
“Oh. Then what are the other two for?” I asked.
Jason pushed hair out of his face and said, “The one on the left is for Abaddon’s captives. The one on the right is the sacrificial room… where his captives die.”
I gulped at the word ‘die’. Hopefully nothing had been taken to the room on the right. “Okay then. Where should we go?”
“Probably the first one. It’s our safest bet.” Jason was making his way toward that room when I remembered something. All Abaddon wanted was the necklace. I had it in my pocket, underneath the wad of cash. I had let Jonah die because of my resistance. I didn’t want to let mom die too. Impulse took over me as I ran for the middle door. Jason didn’t notice what I was doing until the big door creaked as I pulled it open. Surprisingly the door was light and easy to move. Jason turned around. “What are you doing?!” He whispered urgently.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I have to go over here.”
“Lydia! That’s dangerous. You could run into Abaddon!” But it was too late. I was already running deep into the room. I could vaguely here Jason calling out my name, but I ignored it. Some part of me deep down knew it was wrong of me to make Jason bring me here and then ditch him like this; but an urgent, impulsive part of me told me to scope out the devil and give him what he wanted to get what I wanted… mom’s safety.
I ran and ran for what seemed like a long time, surrounded by darkness and stone walls. For most of my life I had always been a patient, rational person who planned out everything ahead of time. I relied on schedules and calendars and carefully arranged days. But on that rare occasion I would get built up with so many emotions that a crazy, irrational, impulsive side of me came out, kind of like a monster awaking from a very long hibernation period. The monster only arose and made me do things that I usually wouldn’t on very special circumstances. And this was one of those circumstances.
The stone walls ended and I saw a light nearby. I followed it and saw a breathtaking yet shocking sight. There were thirteen pillars in the shape of a circle that surrounded a glimmering marble throne. One guard stood at each of the pillars, each of them looking vicious in their own special way. The one that struck me as the oddest was the one who stood by the seventh pillar. He looked shorter and thinner than the rest of them. He had a timid, fragile look about him. His skin looked sickly and his lip trembled almost as much as his hands that held a sword that was bigger than his face. His black and red uniform was three sizes too big, and it seemed as if he were swimming in it. All twelve of the other guards bore a snake symbol the right sleeve of their jackets, except for him. Why was he a guard? He was significantly weaker than the other guards…
Real, venomous, hissing snakes slithered around the circle of pillars. There were two fire torches beside the throne, one on each side. And on the throne sat Abaddon, a grim smile on his face. I looked down to see his feet resting on a pile of cracked skulls, all different shades of white. Some were more specked with dirt and some were new and fresh. I cringed. “My sweet Lydia… don’t hide from me.” He tilted his head and looked straight into my eyes. I felt revealed… like he could see straight through my soul.
I came closer, avoiding contact with the snakes, who were baring their sharp fangs at me. Cautiously I approached Abaddon. I searched desperately for my voice. Clearing my throat, I said, “I have what you want. Just give me m-mom.” I stuttered on the word mom, hoping against all hopes that she was still alive and okay.
He straightened his smug expression and whispered, “If you are playing games little girl, then you are not very wise. There are thirteen demons here right now and thousands more at my command,” Like Jason, I thought. “So if you want to make a deal, then show me your necklace.”
I shook my head, “Give me my mom first.” I said through clenched teeth. My palms were becoming even sweatier than before. The monster in me was slowly stirring, taking over my normal self. Good thing that the monster was confident enough to take on the devil.
Abaddon shook his head, the smile appearing again. “You’re as smart as your father.”
That had caught me by surprise. “My father?” My voice had cracked a bit. What did my dead dad have to do with this creep? Fear washed over me as I expected the worse. But I was even more shocked by the words that came out of his mouth next.
“Well, did dear old daddy ever tell you that he knew me?”

I stared at him. How was this possible? I didn’t know what to say or do. My dad knew this freak? I managed to remain calm, despite my confusion. I almost forgot that I was here for one reason and one reason only: Mom. “Okay, now that I know that… can you give me mom back?”

“Be patient now Lydia. It’s a virtue.” He was really toying with my emotions. “So, how does it lead up to you? Well, I think it would be better for me to show you exactly what happened instead of telling you.”

He waved his hand and a screen appeared, and so did a chair underneath my feet, so that I fell right into it. On screen appeared my dad. He was wearing his lab coat and had had his dark hair combed back. He looked a bit dazed, and his dark eyes were wondering. I gasped as soon as I realized how much I looked like him. It was crazy; he even had dimples on his cheek like me. But what shocked me more was the sudden blast of fire, and then the devil appeared. “I’ve been expecting you.” Dad whispered.

“Ah Mr. Shane, the brilliant scientist who has discovered that there is a devil… it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He gave dad one of his wicked smiles.

Dad looked somewhat nervous, but he was hiding it very well. “I wanted to know… if, well, if you would let me work for you. I want immortality. Please do this… I have a lot to offer.” I couldn’t believe that my dad, the man I’ve always looked up to, was practically begging the devil. I felt disgusted.

The devil cackled and I felt rage rush through me- but I held back. “I know that Mr. Shane. But I will do what you want on one condition.”

“What?”

There was a pause, probably for dramatic effect. “Is it true that you have a daughter named Lydia?” Dad just nodded. “You see, there are certain circumstances to having as much power as I have. In order to maintain my power, I must have the soul of humans; human souls are like my food, my power source, my gasoline, my energy… and every 100 years, I have to catch the soul of a particular person, and on a particular day.”

My dad was just staring intently and listening with both ears. “100 years ago, that person was an 18 year old woman who worked on a farm. Every century the person is different, but he or she is chosen. This century it is Lydia Shane… your daughter.” Abaddon’s voice was slow, emphasizing every word with his slithery and cunning voice.

At that moment, my heart stopped beating. I was going to have a heart attack, or faint, or have a seizure or something. This just couldn’t be possible! But what my dad said back made a bad situation worse. “What do you need to do with her?” He didn’t look concerned at all… he just wanted to get his stupid scientific information. Hot tears started falling from my eyes, all the way to my cheeks.

Abaddon smiled again. “This is the condition, Mr. Shane. You will make sure your daughter gets to me when I need her. In return, I will tell you anything and everything you want about me… and I will grant you eternal life; you can be one of my demons, or workers.”

My dad blinked a few times and then said the one word that broke my heart in two: “Yes.” He agreed to the deal.

He agreed to let the devil kill me so he can live forever and work for him as a demon. The devil clapped his hands and then the screen disappeared.

“So now do you see Lydia? Your father never really loved you. He just wanted to live forever, like many people in the world. I can’t say I blame him though; I would take that bargain in a heartbeat any day of the week. Hec, I would give up five daughters if I had them for that kind of deal.”

I stopped crying; I had to be tough in front of Abaddon, otherwise he would take advantage of me and there was no way I was going to let that happen. “You’re lying to me. You’re a liar! My dad would never do that! He died in a plane crash.” I was rambling and making excuses even though I saw the cold heartedness of my own father right in front of my very own eyes.

“Well you see, sweetheart, that’s where you’re wrong.” Abaddon got up off of his throne and came close to me. His face was within an inch of mine and I could feel his frosty breath on my nose. I shivered. “Lydia, he lied to you and you’re mom and everyone else. He staged that death. When you were mourning him he was living his newfound immortal life as a demon here in hell. You’re so innocent and naïve…”

I took a step back and he took a step forward. Abaddon grabbed my wrist and said, “I bet your love Jason didn’t tell you about all of this… all of the sacrifice you must make to keep my powers going.”

“Who says I’ll let you kill me?” I said right to face.

“Who says you have a choice?” he retaliated. His grip on my wrist had gotten tighter, and I couldn’t wriggle out of it.

“Let me go!” I spat out, struggling to move. But all he did was grimace at me and hold on tighter.

“Don’t test me… you haven’t seen the worst.” He whispered in my ears.

“Abaddon!” Someone shouted from behind. Both Abaddon and I spun our heads around to see Jason walking toward us. His eyes were red again, and a vein was popping out of his left temple.

“Now comes our hero to the rescue!” Abaddon said with heavy sarcasm. I wanted to shout at Jason and tell him to get himself out of danger; but so many things were buzzing through my head that I couldn’t get a word out of my mouth. When Jason was finally next to us, his face was covered with unimaginable, terrifying anger.

“Let her go.” He said through clenched teeth.

Abaddon raised his chin arrogantly and said, “No.” Such a simple word, only two letters, had a great effect on Jason. His eyes were still red, but they softened up a bit. His tense shoulders relaxed and the anger escaped from his face quickly. I looked at him, and he looked at me back with guilt… “Guards, take them to the special room. I don’t want them escaping!” The devil shouted out. All of the guards started to move from their stiff positions, when the weakling of them stepped out.

“Let me take them, master! I can assure you that my eye will be watchful of them.” His face looked slightly menacing, but he was so small that it was almost kind of funny.

Abaddon raised an eyebrow and said, “No, this is a job for all the guards. These two are too valuable to take a chance like that.” What were they talking about?

The guards face looked a little hurt as he protested, “But this will give me a chance to earn my snake. Once I have the snake’s blessing I can be stronger.” His eyes looked desperate and then eager as Abaddon shook him off with his hand.

“Fine. Go. But if you screw up then you will have wished that you were dead.”

And with those words, the boy came up behind us with his sword and said, “Move.” We obeyed, and heard the loud slam of the large door behind us. Jason and I looked at each other, and I bit my lip furiously, tasting a bit of silvery blood. Uck.

We were forced to walk to the third large wooden door. The boy opened it up after struggling with the knob for some time. He shoved us in, and the grandeur of the marble floor and tall pillars was instantly sucked dry with what my eyes were seeing.

The whole space was narrow and completely dark; I couldn’t even see my own hands in front of me. The walls seemed rough, like we were in a cave. There was water dripping from the ceiling, some droplets getting into my hair. The air smelled like rotting food… or worse: rotting flesh. I had to force myself to breathe through my mouth so that the putrid smell wouldn’t penetrate my senses. I walked a little faster after I felt the sharp end of the sword poke my rib.

We walked into a larger opening, were there was slightly more light. But the light didn’t make the view any better. In front of me were six cages, each ten feet tall. The metal bars were decaying with rust, and the floor looked stony hard. Each cage was occupied with people. The first one had ten confused people with wandering eyes; they must not know where they are. The second one had a girl and a boy, both young children… most likely siblings. The third one had a lady sitting on the floor with her hands wrapped around her knees. She had graying hair and was rocking back and forth nervously. Number four and number five had twin girls, probably my mom’s age, holding each other’s hands through the cage bars. And the sixth one… had blood splattered that still looked new, and no one in it.

But then a small one in the corner caught my eye. It was infinitely smaller than the other ten foot ones. A thin lady with wavy blonde hair and hazel eyes, identical to mine; she had some wrinkles on her tired face. I recognized her… but she looked thinner than before. There was something else too. Her eyes were struck with fear. Her pink lips were quivering. Her pale skin was paler than before. Mom…

My heart ached at what I was seeing. I forgot all about the large, glinting sword behind me as I ran to her. My knees slammed onto the hard floor, and terrible pain shot up them, but I ignored it. My hands clutched the bars, desperate to get her out of there. “Mom.” I whispered. She looked up slowly at me, her lips quivering more.

“Lydia?” Her voice was barely audible. I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders. I turned around to see the scrawny guard. I gulped; my eyes on his sharp sword. I held onto the bars harder, not willing to move.
“Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you.” His face melted into one filled with sympathy. Relief washed over me. “I want to help you.” His voice was gentle. Jason was standing behind him. I wasn’t able to decipher his expression.
“Y-you?” I squealed. He nodded and dropped his sword. It clanged onto the floor, and the older lady in the third cage rocked back and forth faster, and the twin in the fifth cage just stared in awe at the shiny thing.
“I’m Mark.” He offered his hand to me, and I took it, getting up.
“But why?” I whispered, not sure if I was dreaming or not.
He smiled and said, “I have a long history with Abaddon. But I hate myself for doing everything I did. I hate him for what he did… I want to make up for it. I want to help you. ” He looked around and sighed. “All of these people are trapped here because they’re about to be sacrificed. Abaddon captures innocent people and takes their souls to fuel his powers.”
Gulping, I cocked my head to the side and said, “Why? What did you do?” It came out naturally, because it was hard for me to believe that this boy, who was a head shorter than me, did anything horrifying. But when I saw his face become smaller, and his smile fade, I immediately regretted what I had said. “Sorry. Never mind.”
He let it go and took a copper key out of his breast pocket. It was small and insignificant… but it opened the door of the cage with a click. Mom crawled out of the prison cell, her skin smeared with dirt. I knelt down and let her fall into my arms, exhausted. I held her for a moment, feeling tears coming from my own eyes. But I had to remain strong; everyone else was already so weak.
I helped her up, and she brushed some more dirt off of her jeans. She managed to smile when she saw my face. But then she looked around and remembered where she was. Panic took over her and she asked, “W-what am I doing here? Where are we?? Lydia, I want to go home!!”
“Are you okay?” I asked, squeezing her hand.
She shook her head vigorously. “I saw so much… blood. They screamed, Lydia. Everyone was so scared. They were coming for me…” I glanced at the bloody sixth cage and averted my eyes in disgust. Someone had probably been killed, and mom had probably witnessed it.
Jason came forward and took mom’s hand. “This is all just a bad dream Ms. Shayne. You’re not in danger anymore.” His voice was reassuring and it even calmed me down. Jason looked back at Mark. “We need to get out of here.” He whispered.
Mark nodded and led the way out. Timidly, mom followed us. But before we left I ran to Mark and turned him around. “We can’t leave everyone out here to rot.”
“What?” he said, not able to understand me.
I shook him, a bit harder than I meant to. “All of the people over here are going to die! Abaddon did something to the other person, and we can’t just abandon them!!”
He pressed his lips together in uncertainty, “Lydia, I know what you mean. But there isn’t enough time right now. Someone is going to come to see if you and Jason are locked up. This is the only time to escape.”
I couldn’t imagine leaving everyone else back there. “Come one… just… just one of them. Let the little kids go.” I pointed to the cell with the little girl and boy that were holding onto each other protectively. Mark sighed and handed me over the key. I ran to their cage and fiddled with the padlock until it opened. I jammed the key into my pocket and pulled both of them out. “Let’s go. You’re safe now.”
They looked at each other unsurely, but decided to follow. The boy looked older, with short black hair and Asian eyes, several shades darker than mine. He was about nine or ten, and holding the little girl’s hand. She looked like him, only with two pigtails and she seemed like she was five or six. “Thank you for helping me and my brother.” She whispered.
I bent down and put my hand to her small cheek. “You’re welcome sweetie.” I wanted to say more, to let her know that everything was going to be okay. But her innocent young face smeared with dirt and pain formed a lump in my throat, restricting me from talking.
We caught up with the others and exited the terrifying prisoner’s room. Just when I took a deep breath, my eye caught a shadow coming this way. I gasped, scared that our escape was not possible. But the figure that came out was tall, tan, and bore a strong resemblance to me. His hair was shiny black and slicked back. He had square glasses perched on his nose in a scientific matter…
“Dad?” I muttered, not believing my eyes.

My head was spinning. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. I squinted, blinked a few times, but my allegedly dead father was still right in front of me. His eyes had gotten wider and his mouth gaped open in disbelief. I felt goose bumps forming along my flesh, and my forehead getting hot. Even the vast space of hell felt small and cramped, making me claustrophobic. I tried to swallow but my throat and mouth were so dry that they couldn’t even form spit. I looked down at my shaking hands.
“Lydia…” Dad whispered. He didn’t say it like a question, as though he couldn’t believe it was me. Instead, he had a look of sadness and guilt on his face. “Laura…” he croaked out my mom’s name.
I looked at my mom and saw her whole bod in shock. She stood stiff, barely breathing, her mouth wide open, and her eyes large, glistening with tears. “Ghosts. I’m seeing ghosts.” She moaned. Already in her weakened state, seeing dad rendered her incapable of saying anymore or even moving. Her knees wavered and her eye-lids shut as her head fell back, along with the rest of her body. As she fainted, a dull thump was heard as her body made contact with the floor. I knelt down, but Jason caught me and helped me stay up. Mark rushed toward mom.
“Take her and the kids away.” Jason said to Mark, who lifted my unconscious mom and beckoned the little boy and girl to follow him. Mark was stronger than he looked, and I was grateful for what he was doing. I almost wanted to leave with him, but I made myself stay.
“What are you doing here?” I asked dad, summing up enough courage to look him straight in the eye. I asked the question in several ways. I wanted to ask him more, like why did he ever leave me and mom. Or how come he faked his own death and begged Abaddon for immortality; or why he was willing to give his daughter’s life for an extension on his. But I decided to start with one simple one. “What are you doing here!?” I repeated, louder and with more force. The air seemed eerily silent as I waited for my answer. I felt my own knees waver a bit, but Jason held my shoulders more firmly. I rested some of my body weight on him, because I couldn’t stand on my own.
Dad took a deep breath and said, “You’ve grown up so much, Lydia. I’m so proud of you.”
More than grief, anger took over me. A fire that had started when I found out the truth about my own dad had grown full-flame, and was now threatening to engulf me. “Answer my question.” I said through gritted teeth. I felt my eyes tearing up, “Why did you leave us? Why are you here, dad?” My voice wasn’t so strong and forceful. Now it was shaky, and my lips quivered.
“I know you’re not happy with me. But you don’t know the whole story. There’s more than Abaddon probably showed you.”
I pressed my lips together, pausing for a moment. “Then tell it to me. We have time.” I finally said.
Dad sighed, looking down at the floor as he said, “I loved you and your mom. I still do… but I was working and researching on if things like ghosts and angels and I found about Abaddon.”
“How?” I interrupted him.
He gulped as he said, “I met Candice. She worked in the same department. I fell in love with her… she was a she-devil.”
My heart was racing in the most unimaginable way. I didn’t know if it was anger or hurt or both or completely alien feeling that has no name. “You were cheating on m-mom?” I squealed like a helpless child. My knees felt even weaker, and Jason squeezed my shoulder, trying to calm me down.
Dad looked at me and said, “I’m so sorry…” His weak apology did nothing to mend my heart. “I couldn’t help myself. I fell in love with her. She showed me hell. It was an offer I couldn’t pass up.” I shuddered. Somehow this reminded me of Jason’s story, and how he ended up as a Fallen Angel. He fell in love with a girl who showed him to the dark side. Was this how everyone ended up here?
“That’s not an excuse.” I shot back at him coldly.
He held out his hands pleadingly. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life and more with Candice. I was willing to do anything…”
I removed Jason’s hands from my shoulders and took a step closer to my dad. “Willing enough to help Abaddon kill me? Willing enough to leave your family in pain? For years, dad, I cried on fathers’ day. For years, I wondered what it would be like to see you and hug you again. But I never imagined that you were capable of doing something like that. Mom loved you so much that after you died she didn’t go out on one single date. Did you know that?! She didn’t let go of any of your clothes or pictures or anything!!” I was ranting, loud, speaking every word clearly, “You left us alone. You deserted your wife and your only daughter. Forget me, but think of mom! She fainted when she saw you!! I looked up to you, but I was stupid. Other people care for me more than you… I hate to think that you’re my father. It would have been better if you had really gone in a plane crash.” I said the last thing quieter with more spit and hate.
I saw dad’s eyes tearing up, clearly hurt by what I said. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything anymore. He was a demon. He was a demon now, and even before he knew about Abaddon. I walked away, tears flowing down my cheeks, my stomach and head hurting. “Lydia… I tried to make up for it.” Dad said, calling after me.
I turned around momentarily, waiting for another pathetic excuse. “What?” I said, barely audible.
“That necklace. It will help you. Abaddon can’t kill you when you’re wearing it.” I looked at him, waiting for him to explain further. “I had someone help me; the necklace has the ability to keep you safe. That’s why Abaddon wants it.”
“Does he know that you gave it to me?” I asked.
He shook his head, “He killed the person who helped me. He thought that it was just him… he was another demon.”
My eyes widened in disbelief. “Okay, then. So, even when you’re trying to help me, people get hurt?” I didn’t know the person who he was talking about, but I could almost imagine the fear that went through his heart when the devil came to murder him.
Suddenly, I was so sick of people dying and getting hurt and the idea of pain and grief and anger. I was so tired of witnessing all of this horridness that I envied mom for fainting. At least she didn’t have to listen to and see all of this. I turned back around and didn’t wait for dad to say anything else. “Please take me home.” I whispered to Jason.
All I remember was him picking me up and then closing my eyes. I had been in severe shock, and I didn’t know how to cope with it.

The next thing that I remember was waking up on my bed, the blankets covering me, and Jason and Mark sitting on the beanbag chairs, facing me. “She’s awake.” Mark whispered to Jason, like I couldn’t hear him. But I did. Loud and clear.

Somehow the hole in the window from Ona’s head had been fixed, and the new glass glinted in the sunlight. Most of the snow on the ground had melted because of the bright, shining sun, and there were several people walking around, talking and laughing. All of those innocent naïve people, with no clue whatsoever about what really lies within the universe. The only thing that worried them was probably the next semester exam, or what they were going to eat for dinner tonight. There were so many people outside that it made me wonder… what day was it? Saturday? Sunday?

I removed the blankets and sat up, swinging my legs so that every two seconds they hit the edge of the bed softly. My hair was in tangles and my mouth felt slimy. I looked down to see that I was still in my blue tank-top, which was now sweaty. Gross I thought. I put a hand to my head, which was hurting a little. “What happened?”

Jason got up and sat next to me on my bed. Mark looked slightly uncomfortable. “Well, after we came back you fell asleep and wouldn’t get up. It’s Saturday. You’ve been asleep for one day.” My mouth gaped open.

“One day?!” I screeched. Holy s***! Mark tried to suppress a smile, but it wasn’t working. Slowly, all the details from my trip to hell unraveled in my head. The ride down, seeing Abaddon on his throne and all the skulls, the prison room where we found mom, and then dad. “Where’s mom?” I started to panic. Was she okay?

Mark stood up. “She’s fine. I found her address in her cell-phone that was in her pocket. I took her home after I took Nick and Jenna to their house.”

“Nick and Jenna?” I asked.

“The little kids you helped.” Jason said.

“Oh.” I said. I remembered the two petrified children; the protective older brother and the innocent younger sister. “They’re okay, right?”

“Yup, Nick knew his address. I got them home and told their parents that I found them at a homeless shelter and recognized them from the missing ads they had put up all around town.” I took a breath of relief as Mark continued, “So when I got your mom home, she woke up. She remembered everything. She said that she was shopping at the grocery store when someone took her in the parking lot. But I told her that I found her in the parking lot, and that she had fainted. Now she thinks everything was a dream.”

“So she doesn’t have any questions? Just a dream, then?” Jason asked, and Mark nodded.

“Thank you so much, Mark. You don’t know how much what you did means to me. Thank you.” I got up and hugged Mark. He was awkward at first, but then hugged back. Jason got up and cleared his throat. I let go, wanting to laugh because Jason seemed to dislike me hugging someone else.

“So where are you going to go now? Obviously you can’t go back.” Jason looked at Mark straight in the eyes and Mark’s soft blue eyes filled with terror.

“I-I don’t know” he stammered, ruffling his already messy, sand-colored hair. I looked closer at him at noticed that he had sand-colored freckles sprinkled over his thin white face. He wasn’t pale or tan, or the perfect shade of milky white like Jason. He was more of a… red-white? Yes, if that was an actual word; there were patches of pink sunburn and his cheeks got visibly red with fear.

Something connected in my head and I said, “You should stay in hiding. With us, over here.” I pointed to the ground for emphasis.

“You want me to live on the floor?” he asked gullibly.

I tried to suppress a smile. “No, silly; I meant that Abaddon might be looking for you, and here would probably be the last place he’d expect, right?” I looked at Jason for confirmation, and he nodded.

“I think that’s a good idea.” Jason said, putting a hand on my shoulder, “Maybe I should stay with you tonight too. It’s not safe right now… Abaddon will have everyone after you.”

“Me?” I asked.

“Yes.” Mark replied for Jason, “You were what he wanted the most. I remember overhearing him talking to himself about catching you. He’s not going to let you go that easily.” Mark’s frightened face became grim, and I felt my stomach tie itself into knots. “Oh, and, thanks for the offer. I think I’ll take you up on it for a little while.”

In less than an hour we had set up a cozy little spot next to the beanbag chairs for Mark to sleep in. He was yawning, and Jason had a sleepy look on his face, but I could tell that he was trying to put on a tough, wide-awake face. It wasn’t working; I could practically see his eyelids getting heavier. But I wasn’t sleepy at all. Not after having one full day’s worth of sleep. “Um, why don’t I go pick up something for us to eat?” I asked, grabbing my coat and purse while talking.

Mark just nodded and yawned once more. Jason mumbled something, but he was concentrated on putting fresh sheets on Celia’s old bed, which has been out of use for a while. That was going to be his sleeping spot. “Okay, then…” I whispered on my way out to the door. But something made me stop, grab the doorknob with one hand, but spin my body around. “Jason, can I talk to you out here?” I said. Instantly he dropped the pillowcase he was holding and followed me outside. I shut the door and heard a click before I said anything. “So…”

Jason looked at me curiously, and with a bit of worry, “So… do you need anything?”

I swallowed and tried to say something, but felt a lump in my throat. Come on, just say it you chicken! I screamed at myself in my head. “Jason… Abaddon told me about him having to kill him to sustain his powers.” Jason just nodded slowly and I shivered, despite the coat draped over my shoulders, “Did you know about it? How come you didn’t tell me?” My voice cracked a bit on the last part, but now I was looking down at the floor instead of his perfect green eyes.

He sighed and lifted my chin gently with his index finger. “I wanted to tell you… more than anything. I want you to be safe and okay. But I’m fire bound, and I physically couldn’t say anything about it. The power over me was so strong…”

I tried to breathe slowly, tried to take in what he was telling me. Trying to believe that he wasn’t that evil Fallen Angel that I had assumed he was. “So you wanted to?” I whispered my voice barely audible. Now my eyes were looking straight into his.

“There’s nothing more in the world that I love than you. I just couldn’t though. I know you won’t understand, but I will do anything I can to protect you from him. Please just know that.” He tucked a piece of stray black hair behind my ear as I put a finger to his lips.

“Shhh… stop talking. I do know that. I understand; I trust you.” And with that I pulled him into a slow kiss, letting my hair fall all over his shoulders. When we let go I squeezed his hand and left to buy dinner.

I came back with my left hand filled with three large bags of oily, fried junk food from Burger King, and with my right hand filled with three impossibly large iced-teas. Why did I ever get the jumbo sizes? I mean, seriously, who’s going to drink all of this? I imagined my bladder filling up with just half the bottle empty. The ice was freezing my hands and the small water droplets on the bottles were dripping on my fingers and on the cuff of my shirt.

I couldn’t open the door to my dorm because of my full hands, so I banged on it by kicking it mercilessly with my leg. In a matter of seconds Jason opened it, and took half of the stuff from my hands. “Wow, this is a lot.” He laughed, smelling the strong smell of grease that was coming from the bags.

I put down the drinks on my dresser and said, “Well, one night of pigging out won’t ruin my figure… or yours” I eyed his body up and down and we both started laughing at my joke. “Rise and shine, Mark!” I hollered over to the scrawny boy who had fallen asleep on top of his blanket.

He woke with a start, his eyes dazed. “Huh? Is it morning already?” he put a hand to his head.

“Nope. It’s time for dinner. I hope you like burgers and fries.” I said while rummaging through a bag to get my share of French fries.

That got Mark get up quicker than I’d ever seen. “Yum! I haven’t had those in forever.” He exclaimed, immediately stuffing his face with the big chunk of meat gracelessly.

We all sat down right there on the floor, chewing on our food and sipping the freezing cold iced-teas. The sweet, pungent taste made me make a funny face, as did Jason and Mark. At first I tried tackling the gigantic burger that was bigger than my face elegantly, by daintily taking in one bite at a time. But that strategy wasn’t working, so I decided to eat Mark-style and inhale my food rather than nibbling at it. I looked over and saw Jason eating three fries at a time and washing them down with a drink. Damn, even when he ate he did it perfectly. There wasn’t even a crumb on his face; opposed to mine, which had mustard and bread crumbs everywhere, like that of a five year old kid.

I yawned and stretched my arms after throwing my trash away. I was the last one to finish the fattening dinner that my mother wouldn’t approve of, and I realized how exhausted I felt once I lied down on my bed. All of my muscles felt heavy and immobile. It took an immense amount of effort to pull the blankets over me. Jason switched the lights of after kissing my forehead goodnight and I watched as he lay down in the other bed on the opposite side of the room. For a while I just watched his chest move, up and down, so gently that it seemed different from the Jason during the day time. This Jason seemed more…. vulnerable. Yes, that was it.

After watching him, I felt the food making me sleepy and eventually I closed my eyes.

I expected to dream of Hell, or Abaddon, or my Dad. But what I didn’t expect was what I saw in my dreams. It started out like I thought it would, with me running through Hell, trying to get away from Abaddon, but then a transparent, ghost-like figure appeared before me. I stopped running, and recognized the figure as Track.

She did look like a Track… but there were some significant differences. This Track had an eager look about her pale face, and a smile was burning so brightly on her face that I wondered if it really was her. I hadn’t seen Track smile like that since long before she was dead.

“Lydia, tell Mark that I love him. Tell him that I love him.”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Tell him that I love him.” She repeated, “I miss him so much. I miss you too, but I never told him how much I loved him…” Then another image appeared, fainter than Track. But I recognized it as Jonah. He didn’t look as happy or eager as Track.

“Lydia, you have to be careful. I’m sorry for what happened to your dad.” He said, fading away as quickly as he had come.

Both he and Track disappeared in an instant, and in front of my eyes were Abaddon. He cackled as he came closer and closer to me. I felt my heart pumping faster and louder than it had before. “Go away!!!” I shouted, “GO AWAY!!!!!”

And then I jerked out of bed, with Jason by my side, looking alarmed and more worried than before. “It’s okay.” He reassured me, his hands firmly on my shoulders. I tried to catch my breath, and I could feel my own pulse beating rapidly.

“Was I… yelling?” I managed to ask.

Jason nodded, “One minute I was asleep and the next I heard you yell ‘go away!’. Are you okay?” His eyes were filled with concern, I felt guilty from waking him up from a sound sleep. I cast my eyes toward Mark’s direction, only to see him snoring like a baby. Well, at least I didn’t wake him up. Come now to think of it, I’m not even sure if an earthquake would wake him up…

“I don’t know… I was dreaming. And Track… she came and told me some stuff,” I looked at Mark again, making a mental note to deliver Track’s message, even if I wasn’t sure of the meaning. “And Jonah came. He apologized for d-dad,” I stuttered when I said dad’s name. All of the pain and anger and misery from seeing him flooded back to me. I had been trying to ignore it but it wouldn’t go away. “Then Abaddon came when both of them disappeared. He was frightening…” I shuddered.

Jason tilted his head sympathetically. “Lydia, you’re afraid.” He didn’t say it like a question; he said it like a statement. Like a fact, almost.

I nodded this time, “I am scared. I’m terrified. What if I’m not safe?”

Jason showed me a small smile and said, “Nothing will happen to you as long as I’m here.” I smiled back, feeling somewhat reassured, but still remembering the panic of my nightmare.

“Jason, can you sleep next to me tonight?” I whispered into the darkness. I couldn’t help myself. I was a chicken. Yes, a chicken in the form of a human. Nevertheless, I felt like a small child whenever I confronted Abaddon, even in my dreams. And Jason was dealing with everything like a mature adult. I needed protection and security desperately.

“Of course.” He whispered back. I crawled underneath the sheets and he followed me soon after, wrapping his arms around me under the blankets. We both were facing the same direction, toward the wall, so I couldn’t see his face and he couldn’t see mine. For a while I just listened to the steady, rhythmic beating of his heart. It was loud, since my ear was pressed against his chest. “You know it’s not your fault for what happened to your dad, right?”

I sighed, biting my lower lip. “I know… I just… I just never thought that he would do this. Not only the supernatural stuff; but leaving me and mom. He practically handed me over to the devil and sentenced me to my death.”

“Your dad’s not different than a lot of people. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” The words came out softly, and I sounded vulnerable. Maybe because at that moment I was. After everything that I had gone through, the sane part of my mind and the toughness of my will had broken down a bit. I wanted to restore them… I just didn’t know how to.

“I guess it’s not. But you have to let it go to move on. You can’t keep yourself stuck on the same thing. I should know. I spent years in self-pity after Ona left me.”

Usually I would feel a slight pang of jealousy, but I knew that he was being honest with me, and I respected that. “Oh, did you?” I teased.

He half-laughed, “Yes… and that’s how I know that being upset over it isn’t worth it. You have me at least, and I didn’t have anyone.”

That made me feel a bit sorry for him. I could show him a bit of sympathy. He was right; I did have him for support. And that was more than enough. “I’m sorry about that.” I said.

He held me a little tighter and whispered in my ear, “Don’t be; because if i was still with Ona, I wouldn’t have met you. And I wouldn’t want to trade that away for anything.”

I smiled and kissed his hand. “I’m really scared Jason. I don’t know what to do.”

He sighed, “How about go to sleep, and have sweet dreams; and trust that nothing will happen to you as long as I’m holding on.” His voice had become immensely sweet and gentle that the words itself made me sleepy.

“Okay.” I yawned, closing my eyes. The last thing that I saw was the glistening moon through the fixed glass window, and the last thing I heard was Jason’s steady heartbeat. It was a serene setting… perfect for falling asleep after going through a great deal of pain.

I woke up that morning, still in Jason’s arms. Jason was fast asleep, looking as innocent as ever. The sunlight crept up on his face and shone light on his features. I looked to the left to see that Mark was still in a deep sleep, snoring very loudly. I smiled, and despite the fact that I was wide awake, I stayed put, resting my head on Jason’s chest.

In about ten or fifteen minutes of me just looking around the room, immersed in my own thoughts, Jason woke up. He woke up slowly and cautiously. First his eyelids opened and gazed around the room, finally finding me. He yawned and then stretched back his head. “Good morning.” He said.

“Morning.” I replied, getting up, suddenly conscious of bad morning breath. I stretched my arms and wiggled my toes on the soft carpet. Then, I quickly ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I examined myself in the mirror. Okay, so I didn’t look so bad for the morning. There weren’t any nasty drool marks on my cheeks or lips. My hair was a bit disheveled, but not as nearly bad as I thought. There were circles underneath my eyes from exhaustion. I grabbed my toothbrush and squirted a big glop of toothpaste on it. I scrubbed my teeth, trying to get them pearly white; but I couldn’t help but looking at the glass cabinet. I couldn’t figure out why, but something made me feel squeamish…

The bookstore… come there Lydia… I await you if you want answers. A slow, slithery voice whispered. The words were spoken so softly that they dissipated into the air once said. I was so shocked that I dropped the toothbrush into the sink. I opened the tap and washed my mouth, then wiped it with the towel. I stopped breathing just so there would be silence. Moving back slowly, I bumped my head against the wall and gasped. Come to the bookstore; it’s your only way out.

That squeamish feeling that came from looking at the glass cabinet came back in full force. A wave of nausea took over me, and it was all I could do not to throw up in the toilet. Instead, I forced myself to open the cabinet. There it was: the Voodoo doll that Ona had been using on me. The doll looked exactly the same – that is, exactly like me. There was dust collecting around the space around it because I hadn’t dare opened it out of fear. I scooped up the doll and tried to breathe. It’s okay. Nothing was happening. I was probably just imagining –

“Ahhh!!!” I screamed as I dropped the doll onto the tiled bathroom floor. It had suddenly become scalding hot. I examined my palm, which was now red and tender. “Ow.” I mumbled. What was that? How the hec did that just happen??

The bathroom door swung open. Jason burst in, looking alert. “What happened?” His innocent sleepy daze was gone, and he was in fight mode.

“I just got burned!” I exclaimed, pointing to the doll with the hand that wasn’t throbbing with pain.

“What?” he asked, walking toward the doll and picking it up in his hand. He squeezed it with his hand. “We have to burn it; it’s Ona.”

“What do you mean? What if that… hurts me??” I whispered, afraid that there was some insane way that she could hear the very words coming out of my mouth.

Mark walked into the bathroom, looking groggy. “What’s going on?” His face was a soft pink color and his eyes were dazed.

Jason looked at him seriously. “Tell me you’re not working with Abaddon still. That you’re not a spy.” His voice was low but menacing.

“Jason!” I exclaimed, walking in between the two of them, “Mark helped us. He wouldn’t ever –”

“Don’t be so naïve, Lydia. It’s not the first time a spy’s been sent on the devil’s behalf.”

Mark, who had looked surprised ruffled his hay-colored hair and said, “You think I’m a spy??”

“I’m not sure what I think. But I know that someone used this doll to hurt Lydia.” Jason walked toward Mark and I put my hand out to stop him.

“Look, why would I be a spy? I’m terrified of Abaddon. He’s out there for me because I helped you.”

“But why would you help us?” Jason interrogated.

Mark’s soft face hardened up. His thin lips were tightly pressed together and his face had gotten redder. “I told you… I want to make up for what I did in my past.”

“Like what?” Jason didn’t seem to care how uncomfortable Mark had gotten.

“Jason.” I whispered.

Mark walked out of the cramped bathroom. He paced around and around and Jason just stood there, waiting for him. I walked out and sat down on the beanbag chair, feeling uneasy. Mark took a deep breath and then began, “It was three years ago. I was a freshman in high school and living in Minnesota. And I liked a sophomore. She was really smart and talented and played the guitar.”

“And I asked her out on a date, and I was really surprised that she said yes, ’cause you know… her being older than me and all.” Mark blushed a bit and I smiled. Jason still looked serious and unhappy. “Anyways, everything was fine until my mother died in a car crash. Then my dad committed suicide three days after the funeral. I became severely depressed. My girlfriend and I broke up.”

“That’s awful.” I whispered so softly that no one heard. My heart reached out for Mark. I knew what it was like living with only one parent… but without both? I don’t know if I would have been able to survive. I was on the brink of craziness without my dad; it was mom, Jonah, and Sarah that kept me from becoming completely insane. Poor Mark…

He continued, “I went really wacky. I cut myself, died my hair, got a tongue piercing, and a dragon tattoo. I lived with my uncle, who didn’t really care. I even started smoking and stealing from the liquor store across the street. I was the weakest that I had ever been. That’s when Abaddon visited me himself.”

Mark took a deep breath, and I saw that his hand was shaking. “I was drunk that night, so I thought I was hallucinating. But I wasn’t. He told me that I was meant for better things than living on Earth. He told me that I could see my parents if I came and worked for him. It took me three whole weeks to decide but after he came back for the third time and told me what potential I had to come serve him, and that it would put me out of my misery, I agreed to it. I got dragged to hell, for no return.”

Jason cleared his throat and said with empathy, “He preys on the weak and the vulnerable… the ones with nothing left to lose.”


Mark nodded and I just watched, breathing quietly. “When I first started working for him it was brutal. Everyone was so much stronger and rougher. I thought I had made a mistake; and I knew that I had made a mistake when I was told to go and kill a man. I was forced to… I strangled him. I felt so guilty that I looked him up and found out about him. His name was the same as mine… Mark. He was a father of three and his wife was a cancer patient; the family was living off of his income. So I left them a huge wad of cash. But I know that didn’t make up for killing him.”

I gulped and glanced at Jason, wondering if he had done stuff like that before. I shuddered at the thought, but then Mark interrupted my deep thoughts. “So I’m not a spy. I’m just trying to help…”

I got up and held Mark’s hand tightly. “Mark, Track came to me in my dreams. Was she the girl who you dated?” Mark nodded, his eyes twinkling a bit at the mention of her name. “Well, she wants me to let you know that she loves you.”

“I love her too.” Mark’s voice was a bit scratchy, and his eyes a little watery. “But she’s dead.” He whispered.

“She’s a Fantasma right now. I don’t know if you can, like, contact her… but at least you know that she still loves you.”

He nodded and smiled faintly, “Thanks, Lydia. That means a lot to me. I think I’m going to leave tonight.”

“What? Why? You’re in danger.” I asked.

Mark shook his head, “But you’re in more danger with me here. Remember, I’m still fire-bound. It’s not safe.”

“Mark…” I protested, “You’ll die, or worse.”

“Lydia; your life is more important than mine. You don’t realize that you have the power to stop Abaddon. Right now you’re the beskyttet.”

“Beskyttet?” I asked.

“Abaddon’s power supply. Your soul is what will keep him powerful and alive for the next century. If you can stop him from killing you then trillions of souls will be freed. All of the Fantasmi like Track and your other friend, Jonah, won’t be stuck in the middle ground. You’re strong. Your life is precious. Mine isn’t; I already ruined mine.”

He started walking out the door when Jason stopped him, “Mark, you helped us. We can’t just let you leave like this.” His serious expression had softened up into one of sympathy.

Mark took a deep breath and said, “You need to take care of her. Forget about your past; the dead tormented souls are laying on you two.” Then he walked out the door. The last thing I saw was his messy, sandy colored hair taking a left turn to get outside. My throat felt tight.

Jason turned to me and said, “We have to burn that doll.”

I felt worried and anxious. “But what if when that catches on fire, I will?”

“We’ll have to hope for the best, then.”

“Jason –”

“Lydia! You don’t understand how powerful she is. When Ona has control over you, nothing stops her from hurting you. I don’t want to take that risk.” He came over to me and held my hand.

I took a deep breath and thought for a moment. This was too much. I wanted answers; no, I needed them. And I was willing to take a risk. “Okay. Go ahead, burn the voodoo doll, but I need to do something.”

“What?” He asked, his eyes filled with concern.

I shook my head. “I’ll tell you later. But this is urgent.” I let go of his hand and grabbed my coat. I heard him say something, but I wasn’t paying attention. My mind was focused on going to the bookstore.

It was dreary outside. The wind was blowing, but the sky was gray. The grass was wet with dew; it must have rained during the night. I was nervous, but I forced myself to go numb and forget about being afraid. I didn’t know what bookstore the doll was talking about, but I guessed the one near the University and ‘King China’. I moved quickly, allowing my legs to move faster than my thoughts.
I grabbed the cold handle and yanked it open. My ears were shocked by the sheer silence of the bookstore. Dust was collecting on the old wooden bookshelves and the two pink loveseats were piled with books on top of them. But a warm fire was blazing in the fireplace, so someone must be here. I walked farther into the room, “Hello? Is anyone here?” Maybe this was the wrong store…
A figure appeared from behind the third bookshelf. A tall, curvy figure with olive skin and rich, dark wavy hair. Her eyes were a twinkling, exotic gray. The figure was Ona. “You came sweetheart.” She chimed, feigning innocence.
I swallowed and replied, “Yeah, I did.” I tried to sound confident, but the words came out in a little croak. I cleared my throat and Ona chuckled. Her wide eyes were staring straight into mine; I involuntarily flinched. Some part of my brain couldn’t help wondering what made Jason leave this goddess-like beauty, and end up with… me.
Ona moved slowly, fingering random books on the dusty shelves. “So you decided to get the answers straightened out? Well, if I were you I would want to know exactly why I was going to die.”
“But I’m not going to.” I said with a touch of firmness in my voice. Ona rolled her eyes.
“Darling, you’re so innocent. Maybe a little too innocent. What, do you think that your precious little Jason will come in to save the day?”
“I have faith in him.” I whispered.
She spun around dramatically and sat down on the arm of one of the loveseats. “Lydia, there’s more to this than you think. Let me tell you the whole story so you won’t get confused.”
“And why do you want to help me? You were trying to kidnap me before.”
She chuckled and whispered, “Because I believe in something called fair play. Each side should know what they’re dealing with. Come, sit.” She pointed to the carpet near the fire. I sat down obediently, because I needed answers desperately. “Let’s begin when hell was formed…”
“Hurry up; I don’t have time for games.” I spat out deliberately.
“No, no, no darling… show some manners. I’m helping you.” Her eyes blazed red and I swallowed. She played with her perfectly manicured nails. I stared at my own, rough, bitten-up ones. Uck. “Anyways, Abaddon had made a deal with the head angels. They were challenging his powers; they thought he wasn’t strong enough to defeat their pureness. From the beginning the angels and demons waged war with each other. So the deal was this: The angels would protect the ‘beskyttet’. The beskyttet is a person that the head angels create in a ritual. They send that person down on Earth to blend in with everyone else. The challenge is that Abaddon has to find that person and kill them in a ritual before the head angels have their grand meeting every century. Abaddon is on a deadline schedule; excuse my pun. The beskyttet is something of a war pawn. If Abaddon does not win the deal, he does not win the war or power.”
I felt my eyes widen. Questions flashed through my head faster than ever before. “What kind of ritual?” I managed to say.
Ona smiled mischievously and then spoke. “In hell. Abaddon needed a way to find this special person. So the head angels decided to give him a clue. They made a scroll with drawing of the beskyttet. Underneath are the words that Abaddon has to repeat in the ritual. So, Abaddon made his own creation… his right-hand man. His name was Morgan. Morgan found all of the scrolls and captured the different beskyttet’s for centuries. He was the most devoted demon; and in the ritual it was his job to kill the beskyttet. Then Abaddon would steal its soul.”
“And do you know what happened? Morgan fell in love with an angel. He betrayed Abaddon and then the devil killed him as punishment. That’s when Abaddon needed a new person to find the scrolls and do the ritual. He needed someone special, someone worthy. And that is when I introduced him to Jason. Jason’s fiery passion, skill, and determination were what won him the position. Not to mention he was a former angel, so he knew all of their secrets.”
“How is the beskyttet different from everyone else?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
She leaned in and whispered, “You can’t tell from the outside. But that person’s soul is a golden color. The rest of ours is silver. And we demons have none at all. We give it all up to Abaddon.”
“So how does this help me?” I asked.
Ona’s eyes had flashed red again and said, “You my dear are the beskyttet. You’re a reincarnation of the original beskyttet. Abaddon is determined to take your soul; if he doesn’t then he has to give up his powers to the head angels… and Jason is the person who has to start your killing ritual.”
The room started to spin. My head hurt, and I wasn’t sure what to do. Ona was lying, she had to be! Jason… had to kill…. Me??? “No, you’re lying. You are lying!” I shrieked, getting up. “This is some mind game. My dad promised to help Abaddon kill me, not Jason!!”
Ona got up too and grabbed my wrist, “Lydia… your innocence is ruining you. You think that if someone says that they love you they mean it. Jason is ruthless; he’s pure evil, that’s the only reason why Abaddon gave him this position.” I could hear my heart beating loudly.
“How do I stop it? How can I live?” I asked desperately.
“Your best chance is to kill Jason… He’s not the hero; he won’t save you, he has to kill you.” And with that I couldn’t take it anymore. I yanked myself out of her grip and ran outside the door.
I let my legs carry me as fast as I could. It was raining outside, and thunder was booming loudly. A bolt of lightning flashed, but that didn’t stop me. I ran aimlessly. Nowhere and everywhere was my destination. I ran until my feet felt like jelly. Then I stopped and slumped against the wall of a closed clothing store, and cried.

A pawn. That was what I was. A war pawn. The head angels created me to try to get Abaddon’s powers; and Jason was not only a part of it, but he’s the most important person. He’s the one who has to kill me. And he never told me; he promised me that he would protect me… I thought he loved me…

The rain was still pouring, and the water soaked through my clothes, which were now sticking to my skin. My hair was soggy and spread out all over my shoulders. I buried my head in my hands and sobbed into them. My dad was a traitor, I was the target of an ancient clash between angels and demons, the devil was after me… but what stung the most was that Jason was planning to kill me.

Ona was right; I am too innocent. I believed everything he said just because I melt in front of his green eyes. I hit my head against the wall in frustration, “Uhhh…” I moaned. My mind flashed back to the other night when I watched Jason fall asleep. He looked like the person I thought he was: selfless, honest, loving, brave, perfect. But I was the fool who believed the act he put up so well. Every raindrop that fell on my shoulders felt like a million pounds at the moment.

And then I remembered what Ona had told me before I ran out.

The best chance I had of protecting myself was to kill him. Kill Jason before Jason kills me. The survival technique. But could I do it? I was scared even when cutting vegetables in the kitchen for dinner… I had cut myself multiple times by accident as a kid with a knife, and didn’t even like holding it. Besides, Jason was much stronger than I was.

The question wasn’t could I do it, but would I do it. No. I wouldn’t be able to put a knife through anyone, especially someone that I cared for. So what do I do? I got up and began walking to my dorm. I didn’t want to go to class tomorrow. I didn’t want to see Jason. I didn’t want to be trapped in my body anymore. How much more pain was I going to take? I thought of Jonah and Track, and even Mark, who never got to be with the person that he loved.

Lydia, what are you thinking? Track and Jonah deserve to be freed. You have to keep fighting and stay alive. You have to kill Jason… it’s your only chance; then Abaddon won’t have anyone to perform the ritual.

I took three deep breaths and continued walking. My muscles were sore, and I felt like my body was being pulled in five different directions. Thunder was still booming so loudly that my ears rang. Flashes of lightning lit the dark sky, and I felt like I was right in the middle of a horror movie. I turned the corner, when a figure wearing leather from head to toe appeared in front of me. It stretched out its arms in a shooting position and waved something. I realized that something was a gun.

“Don’t move.” It said firmly. The voice was obviously a girl’s; it was strong and intimidating. My body became paralyzed. Fear wouldn’t let a muscle move. I swallowed, but my throat was so dry that there was nothing there.

The figure walked slowly toward me. The click of the heels on her boots sounded like a clock ticking. As she came closer, I saw a clearer image. She was tall – much taller than me. Her hair was cut short and jet black. Her eyes were a rich brown color. She had olive skin, like me… and there was a look of triumph, revenge, and anger on her face.

It was Sarah.

Right before I was about to say something, she dropped the gun. I heard the clatter of the metal weapon making contact with the ground, and Sarah’s dark eyes flared red. She swung her right arm and punched me in the jaw.

I was shocked. Shocked by the fact that she punched me and shocked by how much it hurt. My mouth had started to bleed the color identical to the flash of red in her eyes. I staggered a bit but managed to stay on my feet. Sarah came at me again with her left fist. I blocked my face, but then felt her knuckles jab my stomach. I groaned and whispered, “Sarah?” The wind was knocked out of me, and I couldn’t find the energy to fight back.

“This is for Jonah!” she shrieked and then kicked me in the side. This time I fell down onto the sidewalk. My head hit the pavement hard, and I felt more blood rush out. It was late outside, and still raining. There wasn’t one person in sight. Just her and me.

She pinned me down to the floor. Both of her arms pushing mine to the sidewalk, and her knees bent on either side of me. She leaned her face in close to mine and spat out, “This is for ruining everything for me!” And she took one hand and clasped it around my throat. Her grip was hard, and she squeezed all the air out of my lungs.

My legs were flailing for help. My vision was getting blurry, and I could feel my heartbeat slow down. Then, as quick as she started, Sarah stopped choking me. “Get up.” She commanded, brushing the dirt off her leather jacket.

I got up, dizzy, bruised, and barely able to breathe. The rain was making my skin sting, and a wave of nausea came over me. Sarah picked up her gun and shoved it into her pocket. “Sarah… what happened?” I croaked, not being able to get anything else out of my mouth.

Her eyes flared again and she whispered, “You can’t hurt me anymore. I’m immortal now. I’m immortal and I’m angry.”

No!! I thought. Sarah… she became a demon?! What else could explain her fiery red eyes? I looked at her again thoroughly and noticed that she had gotten much thinner than before. Her bones jutted out grotesquely, and there was anger plastered all over her face. She didn’t have that happy glow from before. Sarah wasn’t emitting warmth; she was sending out hateful vibes. I could tell that for a long time now she has been running on revenge for fuel.

“Sarah, what have you done?!” I said, “You’ve been taken advantage of! Look, Abaddon came to you in your weakest moment… he preys on the weak and the bitter. He promised you all of this, right? Immortality, wealth, beauty… he told you that you could help kill me, right? He’s taking advantage of you! He’s just using you to get to me!”

“Not everything is about you, Lydia!!” she screamed. Her eyes went bright red again, and I took a step back.

“Sarah, I’m not trying to make this about me. This is about you. Being a demon isn’t good. Look at you! You’re so bony, now, it’s not healthy! Being this angry isn’t healthy either!”

Sarah held out her arms in mock defense, “Look, doctor,” she replied sarcastically, “I don’t need a lecture from you. I’m here to take you.” She walked toward me and I took a couple more steps back.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I said firmly.

“Yes, you are.” She replied, and then took my arm. I yanked it out of her reach and walked backward a few more steps.

“You can’t take me, Sarah. Go ahead, punch me some more.” My tone was sarcastic on purpose. This fight went deeper than Sarah becoming a demon.

“You don’t feel guilty, do you? You killed Jonah… you let him die for you. And you ruined my future.”

“Jonah died for me like I would’ve died for him. That’s what a true, selfless friend is. Not one who stabs you in the back… oh yeah and I didn’t ruin your future. You did that all by yourself; you became a bitter demon, and you couldn’t handle the fact that Jonah didn’t love you back!”

Sarah’s bony hands were shaking with rage now. “You should be afraid Lydia… I have a gun…”

I smirked, knowing that what I was doing was getting under her skin. “Yes, but I know you won’t kill me. Abaddon won’t let you. He wants me to be killed in the ritual. And besides, if you had the choice you would have me go through a slow, painful death… not a quick bullet to the head. You are a bluffer… you’re bluffing right now.”

Her hands shook more violently now. She looked about ready to explode. She took the gun out of her pocket and fired into the air. The sound of the bullets being fired was extremely loud. She shot about three times. “Don’t test me right now.” She shouted.

My heart moved at a faster pace. Maybe she wasn’t joking right now. I froze in place out of fear. My mind couldn’t help but flash back to that night when Jonah pushed me out of the way. I replayed the silver spear piercing his flesh and going through every bone in his body. I shuddered at the image of his dead body. Tears welled in the back of my eyes… “Sarah, I don’t want it to be this way. We are best friends, and this whole thing is just stupid! Please, can we just –” It was useless. I was just wasting my breath. It was too late now; Sarah was a demon, and unless I could turn back time, which I couldn’t, unfortunately.

“I HATE YOU!” Sarah shouted. I couldn’t breathe; I just heard the click of the trigger, as she pushed it back. The weapon was pointed straight at my heart, and Sarah had started crying. Tears leaked from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and let go of the trigger. I shrieked, paralyzed and terrified.

But the bullet never came.

The gun was empty… the gun was empty!! I was overcome with relief. I could finally breathe. Shaking my head I walked up to Sarah, fearless, and said, “You’ll never understand; you’re just full of hatred and jealousy. I feel bad for you Sarah… You don’t know what happiness is.” I wiped my lower lip, which was a little bloody, then started walking toward my dorm.

And I didn’t look back.

I wasn’t keeping track of the time. All I knew that by the time I opened the door to my dorm, it was completely dark outside. I walked into my room, and found Jason sleeping on one of the beanbag chairs. The world seemed eerily quiet; even my footsteps were barely audible. I took off my shoes and tossed it onto the side of the room. Small bits of dirt from the bottom of my sneakers spread over to the carpet… but I didn’t care.
I walked over to Jason. He was sleeping soundly, arms spread all over and his legs sprawled out onto the cream colored carpet. There was a piece of hair falling in his eyes. I closed my eyes, unsure of what to do. But then everything that Ona told me came pouring out.
So I knelt down and shook Jason so hard he woke up, startled.
“Huh?” he blurted, looking around the room. When his eyes caught me he smiled, “Lydia, I burned it! The Voodoo doll is gone.” He got up and pulled me in for a hug.
I pushed him away, a look of disgust on my face. “Cut the crap, Jason.” He looked utterly confused.
“What do you mean? Are you okay?” Jason came closer to me but I walked backward. A surge of anger rushed through me as I grabbed my hairbrush for protection. It was a useless weapon, but anything would do, really. I couldn’t trust Jason to protect me… I could only count on myself from now on. “Lydia you’re scaring me. And why is your lip bleeding? You have bruises on your face.”
I saw my reflection in the clear glass window. He was right; there was a blue spot on my left cheek, and then a purple one underneath my eye. My lip was crusted with dry red blood, and every part of my body felt sore. Wow, Sarah really knows how to throw a punch. I tightened the grip on my hairbrush and pointed it toward Jason. “Don’t play games with me anymore…” I whispered, “I found out the truth; I know that you’re supposed to kill me during the ritual.” I felt my throat getting hotter and tighter by the second. Tears welled at the back of my eyes but I forcefully pushed them back.

Jason looked caught off guard. His eyes had widened and his mouth was open. “Lydia…” He whispered, “Who told you?”

‘Who told you?’ That was his concern. Not ‘I would never kill you’ or ‘Don’t believe what you heard’ or not even ‘I love you’!!

“Look, there’s more to it than you think.” Jason tried explaining, “To Abaddon, you are a ticket to winning a battle against the angels. To me, you’re something more.”

“Oh yeah? Then explain to me why it’s your job to kill me during the ritual? And why didn’t you tell me this before? And when is the ritual?” I shook my hairbrush with every question I asked.

He shook his head, “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get you away from Abaddon! You already had so much to deal with and I didn’t want to tell you so that you’d have an even harder time. We don’t have much time, the ritual is soon…”

“How soon???” I asked through gritted teeth.

Jason closed his eyes and whispered, “Tomorrow.”

I gulped. My hairbrush fell to the ground and I went up to Jason. Grabbing the collar of his shirt and twisting it, I whispered “I’ve given you more chances then you deserve. But not anymore; you can go back to where you came from Jason, because I can deal with this myself.”

He shook his head, “I know that you’re mad at me; and I know that you don’t trust me,”

“You don’t even know the meaning of the word ‘trust’. And I was the fool… all you had to do was flash your pretty little eyes and I’d listen to you. All of that… was bull! Get out of here.” Jason still looked confused. Had I not made this clear enough? “Get OUT!!!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was hearing the door slam shut.

I didn’t know when they were coming for me. I didn’t know who was coming for me. Or what to do. All I knew was that there was a stash of candy bars underneath my bed. I ate three, listened to some music, and watched some reality TV.

At three o’clock in the afternoon I started to feel some fire in me. I needed to think of a way to live. All I had to do was get past today, survive the ritual, and then Abaddon will leave me alone. But what would I do?

I couldn’t hide anywhere; that was for sure. I didn’t have anyone to keep me as a refuge; so what else was there?? I couldn’t give up. This wasn’t just about me. If I can survive, then I would free all of the Fantasmi. Jonah and Track could be set free to rest in peace. All of these tormented souls could be freed… and the heavy weight of this burden was on my fragile shoulders.

Desperate times call for desperate measures; I started to look for the necklace from dad. I needed all of the protection that I could get. But I couldn’t find it…

Oh no. As long as I had that necklace with me, no one could have hurt me… but I misplaced it. This means that I am vulnerable.

As soon as this thought hits me, I hear a large CRASH! I spin around to find my whole window shattered. A sharp glass shard flies and cuts my lip, reopening the wound from yesterday. “Ow.” I moaned, grabbing my favorite weapon: the hairbrush.

I was expecting to find Jason… after all; it was his job to kidnap me. But instead I found Abaddon. He looked like Jason’s painting, except he was wearing jeans and a tacky leather jacket. His eyes blazed a fierce red; fiercer than Jason’s or Ona’s or even Sarah’s.

“How are you my darling?” he whispered, walking closer and closer to me. My heart rate picked up at a dangerous pace, and my palms became sweaty. Abaddon came dangerously close, and instinctively I wacked his face with my hairbrush.

Surprisingly, the rough bristles left some scratches on his face. He held up a hand to his cheek, looking outraged. He cocked his head to one side and said, “So this is how you want to play little girl?” Abaddon grabbed my wrist and I shrieked. Not knowing what else to do I swung at his face with my hairbrush again. He shook me and then wrapped his hand around my throat. “I can’t wait to take your soul… and see how death looks on your pathetic face.”

I couldn’t respond, or breathe for that matter, when we suddenly plunged toward hell. In an instant I was surrounded by heat and felt like being consumed in fire. “Let me go!” I struggled to get out of his grasp. My hairbrush wasn’t in my hand anymore, so I resorted to kicking and punching. My vision was blurry from the heat. I didn’t even recognize anything.

All I felt was a tight piece of rope tied around me...

*************

So this was it. I was going to die, plain and simple. What else could I do? Abaddon was right in front of me, and although the happy thoughts were helping a bit, now I really felt panicked. I was panting and a thick layer of sweat was covering my skin. I felt my hair getting frizzy, and my fingers were shaky. “Don’t come near me!” I shouted. The words came out hoarsely because of my dry, dehydrated throat.

“You’re very feisty, you know that?” He said. Abaddon put his hand on my shoulder. And like a wild animal I kicked my legs furiously. I put so much power into it that the devil actually staggered a bit.

He spit to the side and twisted his mouth angrily. He slammed his hands against the two chair handles and brought his face an inch away from mine. I could feel the heat blazing from his fiery red eyes. “You don’t know what I can do… you’ve only seen the nice side of me.”

“I’d love to see the better looking side of you.” I replied with one eyebrow raised. I figured that if it was my last few hours I might as well make them count. Abaddon gave me a smirk and then walked backwards. Suddenly he was gripping the same pointed spear that had killed Jonah in the forest. I gasped.

“Jason!” He shouted to the side. Out of the flames he came. His body took the form of fire at first but then quickly solidified into flesh. My eyes saw clearly: the man that walked toward me looked like Jason. The same chiseled features, shiny dark brown hair, perfect physique… but my heart didn’t recognize this man. His eyebrows were furrowed angrily. His lips were in a tight, straight line. His eyes were blazing red.

The cruel look on his face was unfamiliar to me. I wanted the smiling, laughing, soft Jason back. I wanted my Jason back. “Is it time, master?” he asked.

“Master?!” I squealed. My brain was telling me to shut up, but I just couldn’t. “Jason, why are you calling him that? Abaddon isn’t your master!”

Jason looked straight at me and whispered, “He has always been my master… that will never change.” He took the spear from Abaddon, who had untied me from my chair. I was being dragged to a small chamber with a marble pillar in the center of the room. Abaddon re-tied me to the pillar, and I didn’t even attempt to run. “The scroll is in the main hall. You should get it.” Abaddon complied with Jason’s will and went out of the room to get the scroll.

“Jason, look at me. Look at me!” I was frustrated and hurt that this was actually happening. He looked over, clutching the staff so tightly that his knuckles were white. He didn’t say anything, so I did. “Jason, your letting Abaddon control you,” I whispered. “You are better than this. He is not your master.”

“You are delusional, Lydia. Just let it go… death will be quicker if you don’t fight it.”

“I will fight it! Damn it, Jason, you promised me!! Do you remember? You said that you would protect me… did that mean nothing to you?”

“It was part of the whole scheme.” He said bluntly, staring at me in the eye.

I flinched at those words, “So, everything was fake, then? You never really loved me?” I choked on those words, because they stung. My mouth had a funny taste in it after saying that.

Jason turned his head away from me and whispered, “It wasn’t entirely fake.”

I felt my spirit lift a little when he told me this. So all hope wasn’t lost after all… I heard footsteps coming toward the room. I had to say something, or do something… Panting out of fear, I said, “Jason, being fire bound to Abaddon isn’t the greatest force in the world; being in love is.”

Jason looked at me, and a faint smile arose onto his face. Abaddon burst in the door looking eager and bloodthirsty. I felt more sweat on my face…

“Well, let’s get this done Jason.” He said, looking at me intensely. Jason walked dangerously close to me and lifted up the spear to my throat. Abaddon opened his scroll and opened his mouth to begin the ritual. “It’s the perfect timing.” He whispered.

I was wrong. Jason was going to kill me. All hope was lost.

Until Jason turned around and threw the spear to the ground.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Abaddon spat out furiously. Jason turned to face me, and I saw a hint of green in his eyes.

“I think that we can give a blow to the angels in a different way.” Jason said to the devil. What was he doing? Why wasn’t he being the hero and saving the day? “Master, if we bring her on our side, then that will be a bigger win for us in the war than just killing her. Imagine how bad it would be for the head angels if their own creation, the beskyttet, became a demon?”

On the outside I was calm and quiet, but on the inside I was shouting: WHAT??? WHAT?? NO, NEVER!!

“Consider this, master: she’s valuable. More than any other demon. She is young and fierce and can do well for you. It would be a waste if you just killed her. Then you would just have to chase down the next beskyttet years from now.”

Abaddon looked like he was considering this. “She does have a lot of heart, right? Lydia is fierce, in her youth, she’s gold…” He was whispering, and I didn’t like where all of this was going.

Abaddon came close to me and said, “What do you say? I want you working for me… would you rather become an immortal demon, or die right here?”

He was serious. I thought of how Track and Jonah were suffering right now, being Fantasia. And it was all because of this jerk. I thought of mom being imprisoned. I thought of how my weak father took up this offer. How Jason took up this offer. I replied, “Go to hell.” And spat in his face.

I was serious too.

“You’re making the biggest mistake of your short, sorry life.” Abaddon said angrily, swiping my saliva from his face.

“Abaddon,” Jason walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Give me a minute with her.” Abaddon walked out furiously and Jason untied me.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked back.

Jason slapped his forehead with his hand. “Lydia, this is me keeping my promise. Take the chance… do you want to die?”

I shook my head. “You don’t understand, do you? How could I become a demon, when my life was ruined by this whole thing? Everyone I love has been hurt by Abaddon. What kind of a person would I be if I worked on the same side as him?”

“You’d be someone who wants to live!” he shot back.

“I can’t betray the people I love, like some other people.” I said ironically.

“I’m trying to help you.” Jason defended himself.

“Well you’re not doing a good job!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

Jason sighed and said, “Lydia, I don’t want to kill you. I never did.”

“But everything else was a lie.” I whispered.

He shook his head, “Not everything. I fell in love with you. That’s why I’m trying to help… please, take Abaddon’s offer. If you do, then all of the Fantasmi will be saved. Technically you would have survived and Jonah and Track will be free. They can rest in peace. Do this for them, at least.”

I stopped rambling at Jason. He had a point… I could save Jonah and Track and every other Fantasmi. I owed that to them – Jonah is the reason that I am alive and breathing. Couldn’t I make this one sacrifice? It wasn’t much of a sacrifice either… I would get immortality.

And I wouldn’t be like my father. I wouldn’t be changing for selfish reasons. I would be doing it for others… selflessly. I walked out without saying anything to Jason; I didn’t have anything else to say to him. I was done with Jason, for eternity.

Abaddon was waiting outside patiently. I took his hand and shook it firmly. He looked at me, a tad confused. “Why don’t you welcome your newest demon?” I asked.

He shook my hand back, smiling. “So you decided to be smart?”

“No, I decided to help people that I owe. I’m doing this, but on one condition: You cannot hurt, under any circumstances, anyone in my family. That includes my mother, grandparents, and even extended relatives.”

“Deal.” Abaddon whispered.

I expected the Earth to shake, the skies to rumble, lightning to strike innocent civilians, tsunami’s plaguing countries, etc. But everything was absolutely still.

I didn’t know exactly if what I was doing was completely evil and morally wrong. But I was willing to do anything to make sure that Jonah and Track get to rest in peace. They died because of me, and this was the least I could do.

I promised myself not to become evil and get carried away with this, like Jason, Ona, and my dad. I wasn’t going to hurt anyone. I know what it’s like to be hurt, so I wasn’t going to put that pain on someone else.

This was the beginning of the rest of my life.