Jack nudged his sister on the arm with his elbow. “Sis, that’s not Dad”

“Who are you kidding? OF COURSE HE IS!”

“No need to shout.” came from Butler, who was standing in the doorway.

“UNCLE BUTLER! I SWEAR IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!” the twins yelled in unison, then glared at each other. “I”M NOT AGREEING TO ANYTHING YOU SAY!” Artemis and Butler looked at each other then at the twins. A look of astonishment came on Rose’s face.”Daddy,” she said softly “I thought you were out of anti-aging powder.”

“I am not your father. But why do you both look so familiar to me?” Artemis wondered. In response, Rose predictably turned on her brother. “Jack, what was that surprise you were going to show me?” Jacks face lit up. He started rummaging through his pockets. “It’s a time turner, Sis! We’ll finally be caught up at school.” Rose’s eyes widened. “Jack, that means that with the momentum of our crash combined with the time turner….we…OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU, JACK?!” Jack looked confused, but then what she was saying hit home “Oh my God.” he whispered. “We’re dead.”

Rose held up her hands and managed a weak smile. “Um, would it be possible if I… well you see I, Uh” Artemis let Rose stumble with her words for a few moments, then asked gently, “Are you one of those crazy fan girls who wants to go out with me?”

“NO! Where in Frond’s name did you get THAT? That is disgusting!” Rose yelled, and then glared at her brother who was rolling around helplessly on the floor with tears streaming down his cheeks, because he was laughing so hard. She gave Jack a kick, which made him jump up with a yelp and a complaint. “What was that for, Sis?” Rose was about to answer when an ugly midget fell through the hole in the roof. The twins suddenly had a look of utter delight on their faces.

“Hey Twins! That was awesome!” said the thing.

“Buttox! It’s you!” squealed Rose as she gave it a hug. The midget had ugly, coarse blonde hair and bulging brown eyes. She grinned, showing rows of teeth that would have made an orthodontist faint. Butler reached forward and grabbed Buttox’s arms. She screamed and thrashed about. Suddenly Buttox was free, Butler was on the ground with scratches and bite marks all over him, and Rose had blood under her fingernails and a dangerous glint in her eyes.

Artemis’s eyes bulged. “How… how did you do that?” Rose winked. “I have my ways.”

“Oh please, Sis. You so learned that from me.” that comment came from Jack, of course. Rose rolled her eyes. Then she got that expression on her face that said I have a way out of this and my brother is going to be embarrassed, which merits a couple of points. Rose turned large puppy dog eyes on Butler and Artemis. Even though they both were really strong, they found themselves melting at those eyes.

“Please, we are just three poor children who escaped from a fairy orphanage. Nobody would accept there, because we are half fairy, half human.” Tears welled in her eyes. “No one loves us, and we accidentally crash, and we start hallucinating about seeing family members. We must be dying.” Rose fell backwards, where a chair most obligingly caught her fall. Artemis might have fallen for that, except her brother was shooting her death glares and Buttox was open mouthed in shock. Just then, a familiar tune started playing. Rose’s face turned red. “Hold that thought.” she said, whipping out a cell phone. “Hello?” The person on the other line answered, and apparently said the wrong thing.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU COULDN’T PULL IT OFF?!” Rose shouted in to the phone. Everyone winced.

“Whoa, sis. Geez! Who are you talking to anyways?” asked Jack. Rose looked at him. “It’s Jules. She couldn’t pull it off!”

“WHAT!”

“I know!”

“Let me talk to her.” she started to protest, but Jack grabbed the phone. “Jules, we handed it to you on a platter! Aurum est postestas, remember?”

“What did she do?” asked Buttox.

“She decided to make off with some cash as well as the gold. We only disarmed the safes that had gold in them!” Then the trio remembered their audience.

“What were you saying about being poor hallucinating orphans, Rose?” deadpanned Artemis.

Foaly decided to check up on the Mud Boy. He turned the current screen to Artemis’s surveillance. “Whoa!” Foaly exclaimed. The kids in Artemis’s front room looked really familiar. He looked from Artemis, to the two kids (the third one was just weird!) to the picture of Holly on his desk. His jaw dropped. The resemblance was uncanny. He dialed Holly and heard her voice a minute later.

“Hello?”

“Holly? It’s Foaly. Get down to Fowl Manor as fast as your wings can fly. This is an emergency.”

“I’m on my way. Care to explain what’s going on?”

“I wish I knew.” Foaly said good bye, and then hung up. He took a closer look at the screen How did those kids have wings that Foaly had designed in college, but never released?

*
*
*
*

*

*
*

“Well, Rose. That was a genius move. What do we do now?” asked Jack. Rose shot daggers at him.

“A little help would be nice, Jack!”

“You got us in to this mess. You can get us out, I hope but sincerely doubt.” Just then Holly crashed in. The twins jumped aside, so Holly flew directly in to Artemis, knocking them both on the ground.

“Artemis! I’m sorry, but Foaly said I had to come down right away! Are you alright?”

“I was until you knocked me down.” Artemis winced and Holly looked down to see her knee was right between his legs. She jumped up.

“Hi, Mrs. Fowl!” Buttox said. The twins slapped their hands over Buttox’s big mouth.

“Buttox, for once in your life could you not open your mouth!” both twins shouted. Buttox widened her eyes and tried to look innocent, but the twins felt the smirk she had on her face.

Rose took her hand away and facepalmed herself. “Why is it that we always get into situations like this?”

“Because you get us into them.” declared Jack. Just then Juliet came barging in. Seeing the twins, she pirouetted and her jade ring came flying towards them.

“DUCK!!!” shouted Jack as he leaped behind a chair.

“I don’t see a duck anywhere.” said Buttox right before she got knocked unconscious. Rose ducked, pulled out a Neutriono, and…

“MY HAIR!!” Juliet wailed. “My beautiful hair! How could you burn off my hair?” Juliet’s once long hair was now more of a Holly Short cut. Or Holly Fowl. It depended on your point of view at the moment. Anyways, now that Juliet was done mourning her hair, she was mad. “YOU!!” she screamed at Rose. Juliet launched herself with a fist raised at her now enemy. Rose waited till the last possible moment, then rolled away.

“Jack!” Rose called. “Get the time turner fixed! I’ll hold ‘em off!” Jack ran for the computer room where he knew some tools where. Butler tried to follow him, but he tripped over his sister and almost landed on Buttox who had regained consciousness.That’s kind of scary Butler thought. She looks like Juliet… and Mulch? Buttox looked at him. Butler looked at Buttox. She blinked. He blinked.

“GET OFF OF ME, YOU CRAZY PSYCHO WOMAN!”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CRAZY PSYCHO WOMAN, YOU MEGALOMANIAC JADE PRINCESS?” Just to state the obvious, Juliet and Rose were having a shouting match. Rose had somehow pinned Juliet down, but her energy was fading. Then Juliet kicked upwards and sent Rose flying. She miraculously landed on her feet.

“JACK! JULIUS ARTEMIS CORAL FOWL! HURRY UP AND GET IN HERE!!” Rose screamed. She and Buttox where in a helpless situation, being surrounded by both Butlers and Holly. Jack stuck his head through the doorway of the computer room.

“Rose? I can’t fix it with all the screaming, so will you please-”

“JACK!”

“ALRIGHT! What do you need?”

“I NEED SOME HELP! OBVIOUSLY!” Just then a small figure walked in.

“You need help? The great almighty Rose Holly Berry Fowl needs help? Oh this is good!” The girl cackled happily. Rose and Jack groaned in unison.

“Did it have to be you, pony girl?”

“My name is NOT PONY GIRL! My name is SAGE TRUFFLE KOBOI!” she shouted. Jack grinned.

“You middle name is Truffle? Really?” Sage sighed. Then she looked around. Everyone was staring at her- except Rose and Buttox, who where glaring.

“You are related to…Opal Koboi?” asked Holly in disbelief. The girl was stunning,with dark brown hair and big chocolate brown eyes, but it was her feet that where bothering everyone- or lack thereof. Instead of feet, she had a pair of hoofs.

“Ahem? You people dropped something.” Sage said in reference to their jaws.

Holly pulled out a Neutriono and said, “I am Captain Holly Short of the LEP. If you have information about Opal Koboi, I demand it at once or there will be consequences.” Sage looked at her.

“Does it look like I care?”

“You will care in a minute-” said Jack.

“If Mom does to you-” put in Rose.

“What Rose did to Juliet.” Jack finished. Sage looked at Juliet, shuddered, and put a hand on her hair.

“No thanks.” Suddenly Butler hauled Buttox up by the back of her shirt.

“Just what do you think you are doing?” he asked.

“Erm… having lunch?”

“You consider lunch the floor? I feel sorry for your orthodontist.” Artemis said.

“What’s an orthodontist?” asked Buttox curiously. The twins rolled their eyes simultaneously. Then Rose looked at the floor. Her eyes widened. Jack looked down at the same time. They both blinked. Then Jack dived in to the hole. Buttox had already tunneled to the grounds of Fowl Manor, and had been coming back to get them.

“See you guys later!” Rose shouted as she dived in after her brother with Buttox and Sage right behind her. Holly screamed.

“GET BACK HERE!” Four voices responded.

“Does it look like we care?” Then three voices.

“I”M NOT AGREEING TO ANYTHING YOU SAY!” Then came the two unmistakable voices of the twins.

“OH, CAN IT! WILL YOU, KOBOI?” Sage responded haughtily with a,

“In your dreams!”

Holly picked up her communicator. “I need back up.” Artemis looked at her.

“Who are you going to call?” He asked. She blinked.

“You aren’t going to ask why?”

“I have already deducted your reasoning. It is not necessary for-”

“Alright, Artemis! I don’t need a lecture.”

“Are you sure?” Artemis asked with a wicked grin on his face. Holly sighed. He was so annoying.

I’m calling my two best friends. Their names are Onyx and Maribel Bloomer. We will never get away from twins. And Artemis?”

“Yes Holly?”

“Don’t be bothered by Onyx’s eyes.”

Onyx Bloomer was meditating when her communicator rang. Her violet eyes flashed with annoyance as she picked it up. “Hello?” she whispered. Onyx always whispered.

“Onyx? It’s Holly. Get Maribel and come down to Fowl Manor. I need back up.”

“Alright.” came the faint reply. Onyx hung up and walked out of her room to where Maribel was watching TV.

“Hi Sis! What’s up?” chattered Maribel excitedly while bouncing up and down. Her black hair bounced with her. Onyx rolled her eyes at Maribel’s enthusiasm. Nobody could believe they were twins, as Onyx had startling violet eyes and short lavender hair while Maribel had black hair and dark brown eyes that were always sparkling with fun. Both wore all black and absolutely hated the color pink, but that was the only thing they had in common.

“The ceiling is up, in case you hadn’t noticed. Holly just called. We need to go to Fowl Manor.” Onyx said faintly. Maribel jumped up.

“Yay! I want a cookie!” she yelled. Onyx winced.

“That was completely unnecessary, sister dear.”

“I thought it was.”

* * * * * *

“Well, what now?” asked Sage. Buttox had tunneled a room for them, so they were all fairly comfortable. Rose was trying to call her boyfriend, Parker Kelp, to come and help them, but it was kind of hard to get a signal when she was 20 feet underground.

“Now, we wait.” said Rose. “I got a signal, but he wasn’t answering, so I left a message.”

“What do we do in the meantime?” whispered Jack. He was whispering because Buttox had fallen asleep because she was so tired and full after all the digging and eating, that she had just went out like a light. Rose gave a small chuckle at the sight. She knew Buttox had a slight crush on her brother, so her face would be precious when she woke up and saw who she had fallen asleep on.

“Well, we could play Truth or Dare.” suggested Sage. Rose blinked.

“Koboi, that’s not such a bad idea.” she said in surprise. Sage shrugged.

“I have my moments. So I’m not it for starting.”

“Not it.” Rose immediately said. Jack sighed.

“Alright, Sage. Truth or Dare?” he asked.

“Truth.”

“Do you think I am attractive?” Rose’s mouth dropped open. Sage smirked.

“Yes I do.”

“WHAT!”

“Shut up, Rose.” Jack and Sage chimed. Both had huge grins on their faces.

“But-but” Rose sputtered and stuttered while the others watched on in amusement. Just then Buttox started talking in her sleep.

“Jack, I love you. Don’t go, Jack! You are so amazing. Sage doesn’t deserve you.” she moaned. Everyone looked at her.

“Whoa. That’s a bit disturbing.” Sage said.

“I couldn’t agree more.” said the twins in unison before staring at each other.

For the fourth time that day, someone fell through the Fowl roof. Or I should say multple someones. Onyx was not hurt from the fall. It’s easier to fall through a roof when you have a sister like Maribel to land on.Holly grinned as the duo started to bicker.

“WHAT DID YOU LAND ON ME FOR?” shouted Maribel.
“What where you doing beneath me in the first place?” asked Onyx quietly. Maribel opened her mouth-but no sound came out. She saw Butler standing beside Artemis and gulped. “Sis,” she managed to squeak out,”Turn around.” Onyx turned to see Butler. She had a perfectly calm demeanor, but inside she was shaking in her boots. You aren’t wearing boots,said the logical, annoting voice in her head. Alright then, I’m shaking in my imaginary boots! Onyx contradicted in her head. She finally said, “Excuse me, Mr.Mountain? Will you hurt us?” Butler shook his head and the twins sighed with relief in unison. Onyx zame up to Artemis. “Onyx Bloomer,” she said and shook his hand. They both tried to ignore the sparks they felt and Artemis nodded.
“The pleaseure is all mine, miss.” Maribel grinned and started amking kissing noises. Onyx let go of Artemis’s hand and gave her sister a little shove. Maribel shook ARtemis’s hand.
“Hi! I’m Maribel!” she exclaimed happily.
“Artemis Fowl.” He said and shook her hand.