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Not a monster
I sat huddled in the backseat of the air conditioned cabin of my parents’ car while being squeezed tightly between the excess of our luggage. My body was shaking from the frigid air that was being produced. In reality, the air coming from the vents was at the coolest, a little less the seventy degrees. Angered at my parents, I attempted to blame every problem that arose upon them, including the source of my shaking.
“Can you turn the AC down a little or something? It’s freezing back here,” I muttered.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” my mother muttered, her hands planted firmly in her lap. She turned to my stepfather who was too lost in his driving to notice my words. Of course she’d have to wait for his approval for anything involving me. He wasn’t even my real father, and he was the reason why we were all in that car.
I sighed and buried my face into my hands. “Whatever… just never mind. I can deal with it,” I mumbled weakly into my palms.
“You don’t have to act like that!” my mother snapped; I could see her enraged glare through the cracks of light between my fingers. I wanted desperately to release all of the pint up anger that was raging from within me, but knew I was unable to; it wasn’t her fault. My stepfather was the one with the career that required moving. I felt warm tears beginning to wet my hands and tried my best not to sob.
It was my senior year of high school, and I had always been under the comforting impression that I’d be graduating with the same students I had attended kindergarten with, with the exception of those that moved elsewhere. Suddenly though, not even midway through the school year, everything was turned upside down, and I was heading to a small town that I had never heard of before.
I had felt sick to my stomach since the day the news was announced to me. That nausea was growing even worse now that we were only about thirty minutes outside of the town. I felt as though I was unable to move and could vomit at any second.
To most, the idea of moving on to a new school was fantastic, or perhaps bittersweet if they had the kind of friends that I did. To me though, I believed it was going to the most traumatic event I would ever experience. I was awkward, and I wasn’t even sure how long it would take me to become comfortable around anyone new… if I even made it that far that is. The only reason I had friends back in my hometown was because we had all know each other since early grade school. I had a few acquaintances as well, but it wasn’t as if we were even close enough to have any form of conversation other than something general like school or weather.
That was the source of all my fear. I grew pale at the thought of an existence with absolutely no one to care for me; no one to share my feelings with; no one to simply talk with. I could barely believe that I was suddenly thrust into such a nightmare. My life had never been the best subject for bragging, but at least it was a little better than mediocre only a month or so before that day.
I kept attempting to persuade myself to accept my fate; there wasn’t going to be any way out of it. No matter how hard I begged, no matter how much I cried, no matter how desperate I became, I’d still be stuck in my own personal nightmare. Being accepting of such a matter was rather hard when it had only been thrown at me less than a month before. I barely had time to get used to the idea of living someplace new.
To make it worse, I already had to visit my new school the next day, Monday. Then, when Tuesday rolled around, I would be attending my first day of classes. My stomach lurched at the thought.
Canterlot High School, I wondered how the name even came about. It made me think of some sort of medieval castle. I was sure that most of the attending students shortened it to CHS to hide such an awkward sounding name. To make things better, or perhaps worse depending on the person, their team name was the Wondercolts, the Canterlot Wondercolts. It was one of those names that you would shake your head at silently in disgust.
Of course, by my wishing of time to slow to a crawl, it made the remaining ride fly by in a blur. The day was mockingly bright, warm, and clear, giving my new town a much too cheerful appearance. The parks were overly beautiful and well kempt. Each and every yard was a lush green with colorful splotches of large flowers surrounding the base of the house which was contained within. Instead of feeling impressed from realizing how clean and beautiful my town was, a feeling of dread hung over me instead. It was perfect, much too perfect.
My mother pointed out the high school. I turned and craned my neck around the haphazardly stacked tower of luggage beside me to catch a glimpse. I would love to say that I was surprised by its appearance, both elegant and regal, but I wasn’t at all. It certainly had the air of a castle about it, and even had some form of large glass dome in its center. It was named Canterlot, and the town in which it was located was flawless, of course the school would be some picturesque structure.
With what seemed like a sudden turn, we were parked in the driveway of our house. My parents had already moved in much of the major appliances and furniture, while also making any repairs or modifications while I stayed at home and cherished my final days with my friends. All that was left was what we had in the car and the small, rattling trailer which had been pulled behind it for hundreds of miles.
“And now we unpack!” my mother yelped much too excitedly. I groaned, shook my head, and rolled my eyes, but easily accepted my fate. Unpacking would be the perfect task to keep my mind off of what was to come… that is, as long as the items didn’t spur any memories from my real home.
With what possibly could be considered luck, I grew so busy with aiding in finishing all of the unpacking before days end, my mind became one with the task. I was a thoughtless machine, living out the rest of the day in my own mechanical lie, not thinking of the future or the past. It was oddly comforting, and even though my muscles were strained from lifting overstuffed boxes, they felt more relaxed than they had in a very long time.
Only when the back of my head reached the pillow of my new bed did the concept of future and past return. My heart sunk with the reinstatement of such a realization, and so too did my stomach; my nausea returned tenfold, the pain causing sweat to dampen my forehead as I cringed.
Thoughts of what was to come raced through my mind as I squinted up at the unfamiliar ceiling above while trying to grow somewhat more accustomed to its appearance. I gulped in between thoughts, knowing how long the horrid night would last. With my mind so active, I would be getting little, if any, sleep. I grew even more hopeless at such a thought.
I rolled over onto my side and gazed out of the small window in my room. The warm orange glow of a streetlamp outside illuminated the sidewalk and part of the street. Long shadows were cast into my room from a few trees which stood beside our house. Finally, my eyes fell shut, their lids glowing pink from the light seeping in. As thoughts began to repeat themselves over and over in my mind, the re-occurrence eventually lulled me into the lightest of sleep.
My alarm-clock blared into my ears early the next morning, jolting me from my sleep and causing me to scramble in a desperate hurry to shut it off. As silence once again came over my room, I fell face first back into the warmth of my pillow. Once the initial panic had warn away, my mindset returned to what it had been the previous night, and my head ached from a severe lack of sleep.
I was to arrive at the school early, before any classes had even begun so I could receive a tour from one of the students to become a bit more familiarized with its layout, along with my schedule. I awoke for a second time in a state of confusion as the alarm rang through my room once more. I grumbled in frustration as I once again slammed my palm down upon the snooze button and rolled over onto my side to find an even more comfortable position. I was seemingly under the impression that if I continued to sleep, I would never have to go to the school to receive a tour and my education would magically be forgotten.
I sighed, unable to sleep as my nausea returned and my heart thumped anxiously against my chest. There was no point in falling back asleep, I was already wide awake and unable to fight my fate. Switching off the alarm, I slumped out of bed, too lost to even attempt straightening it up. I stumbled to the bathroom, not even wanting to hear a cheerful good morning from my mother in the state I was in.
Humid heat and powerful streams of water did little to relax my nerves, and a light breakfast did nothing to calm my unsettled stomach. After struggling to put on the first pair of clothes I managed to pull from my recently filled dresser, all transformed into a blur of worrisome thoughts until I arrived at the school.
***
I grew utterly embarrassed as we pulled into an empty space in the parking lot. A senior riding to school with his mother? That screamed awkward; well, I was awkward, but I certainly didn’t want to show off as if it was something to be proud of. If I were to explain that my mother had to make a trip to the store while I had my tour, everything would be fine, but, of course, no one would ask; they would point, snicker, and assume. “Should I come with? Do you think there’s anything they need to tell me?” my mother asked with a caring smile.
I desperately wanted to say yes. Even if I despised her then, even if it made me appear as some kind of wimp, it would be nice to have family there for comfort. I couldn’t though. I was a senior and almost eighteen years of age; I had to act like an adult. I shook my head softly. “No, you told me it was just a tour. I don’t think so, you don’t really need to know where my classes are. Besides, you need to go shopping.”
“Okay, if I’m not back when you finish just call,” she said, giving me a wave as I opened the door and pushed myself off of the passenger seat, my shoes clacking against the pavement below.
“See ya,” I said with a nod before shutting the door. My heart lurched realizing I had no idea where exactly I would be meeting my tour guide. Was I supposed to go to the office? That did seem logical, but perhaps I was supposed to meet her somewhere in the school. I would feel like an absolute idiot if I had to ask questions for something so simple. I was a new student, but still, I didn’t want to come off as completely clueless. I let out a sigh in an attempt to expel some of my nervous energy, and headed off towards the front entrance. I assured myself everything would be fine.
The school’s campus was eerily quiet, only a few students huddled together in small groups or independently finishing homework on their own could be seen. It made sense, I was there rather early; classes wouldn’t be starting for another hour or so. I guess touring would be much easier with empty halls. My imagination went wild at the thought; I could practically hear the roar of hundreds of voices and see the hectic crowd of students.
I shrugged off the thought and instead focused on the world around me. Although it would likely grow into a rather warm and sunny day, there was a wet chill in the air, causing me to shiver through my light sweatshirt. The large school cast a shadow which covered all of the well-manicured lawn before me, no warm rays of morning sunshine penetrating its solid form. Would the school be as cold and heartless as the shadow it cast?
I quickened my pace as the breeze began picking up, scattering a few dried leaves across the sidewalk. I wrapped my arms around my chest, hugging myself for extra warmth. I shouldn’t have been that cold; it had to have been the nerves taking their toll on me. With what almost felt like a combination of relief and worry, I reached the door, pulled it open, and slipped inside.
“Hello there, you must be our new student.” I nearly jumped at the voice, my eyes concentrated on my feet rather than what lay ahead. “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you… but I really wasn’t expecting that sort of reaction. Everything alright?”
I nodded my head as I peered up to see a beautiful girl before me. Her skin looked smooth, the color of pale amber. Her curled hair was a rich shade of crimson with golden yellow highlights. Her eyes shone the color of beautiful ocean pools. Everything about her body was perfect as well, although her clothing seemed somewhat off. Her sweet voice and smile offset everything about the black leather jacket, studded collar included, and large boots that she sported. She dressed as if she was some kind of “bad girl.”
“No… it’s fine a mumbled,” giving her a sheepish smile as I awkwardly brushed my hand against the back of my head. “I’m just tired and feeling a bit off.”
She smiled once more and nodded her head. “I could get you a cup of coffee from the office if you’d like.”
I smiled softly at the thought of a hot, steaming drink. “That sounds really great actually.”
“You wait here,” she replied before darting off into the door which she must have appeared from, and returning in what seemed like only a few seconds. I eagerly gripped the Styrofoam cup which she held out in both of my hands and nodded in thanks. “I’m Sunset Shimmer by the way.” She extended a slender hand.
I smiled and gave it a shake, enjoying the touch of her soft skin. “Nice to meet you Sunset.”
“You too… anyways, we should probably get this tour started before the halls get filled up. I may have just volunteered for the job, but I still don’t want to let Principle Celestia and Vice Principle Luna down. Actually, if you have any questions or concerns that I can’t answer, I’m sure they’d be more than willing to help.”
Sunset seemed like a rather sweet girl, but there was something off about the way she acted, as if she was trying a little too hard. That wasn’t necessarily a hindrance though; it actually aided in calming me down. Yet, in the back of my head, I still knew that the level of peppiness was too high.
“So here’s your schedule, and I’ll show you where all of the rooms are along with the cafeteria, gym, things like that,” she said as she handed over a crisp sheet of paper which I was sure would be crumpled and worn with use by the time I was finished with it; I had never been a master at memorization. “Everything look okay?”
I sipped at my coffee and nodded my head as I scanned over the list, all of the basic classes I’d had back home. “Seems alright to me.”
Sunset smiled once more and motioned for me to follow. Noticing that I was right at her side, she started up a conversation as we headed towards the first room. “Tell me a little about yourself, what do you like to do?”
“Uh, I guess I play video games mostly. That or watch shows and cartoons and stuff,” I said with a shrug wondering if her view of me would change. “I guess I like nature too sometimes, taking walks and hiking.”
“I was wondering why you didn’t have any gym classes, most students here take them just to get out of other classes that require work,” she said with a smirk. “So you’re sort of nerdy then? There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Y-yeah, you could say that,” I said with a nervous chuckle. She seemed rather accepting of my habits; there was no teasing and no persuasion or bribes to become a part of any sort of sports team.
“I guess I used to be into quite a few of the sports around here, but not so much anymore.”
I wasn’t sure whether or not her statement was supposed to be remorseful or a simple comment. I decided on the former, a choice which probably wasn’t my greatest. “Well, at least you still seem pretty active in helping out the school. You’re giving me a tour after all.”
Sunset sighed with a frown and shook her head slowly. “Trust me, it’s a good thing I’ve moved onto to doing things like this now. I never liked any of that stuff, just did it to fit in, be popular.”
I felt awful for bringing up what seemed to be a rather touchy subject, but at the same time, I was quite intrigued. Maybe she was a bad girl after all, a bad girl turned good. A turnaround like that was always interesting to see. I never understood why a girl would do so many bad things or activities she didn’t enjoy just so the other students would appreciate her. I was glad to see that Sunset had changed.
“Anyways,” she said, forcing a smile back onto her face, and gulping down her previous emotions, “I’m sure you’ve heard some pretty harsh rumors about CHS, but I want to tell you that things have changed since then. It was a rough time, but we’ve recovered. This school is a really great place now if you ask me, well, for the most part.”
For the most part, I thought to myself, wondering what exactly she meant. I wasn’t going to ask. I looked over with hesitation, feeling her gaze. A look of genuine concern covered her face.
“You look worried. Are you sure everything’s okay?” I shrugged halfheartedly, not wanting to tell her my thoughts which suddenly seemed completely idiotic. “Uh… sorry I asked?” she muttered, seemingly hurt by my response.
“It’s fine,” I said, giving her a soft smile. “I just… yeah.”
“Don’t want to talk about it? Makes sense, it’s not like you know me well enough to say something like that. Anyways, this is your English class,” she pointed a finger to a dark, locked room as we came to a stop. “It looks like you’ll be having Mr....”
My thoughts began to drown out her words. I nodded my head politely every few seconds and stared her in the eyes as if fully focused on what was being discussed. This continued for the rest of the tour. There was no need for knowledge of my teachers or their rules; I would end up learning nearly everything that needed to be known about them after spending a week or so in class. All that was absolutely necessary for me to remember was the room number and where it was located.
Along with running room numbers and the path to reach them through my head, thoughts of Sunset Shimmer also began coming to mind. Perhaps I did trust the girl enough to tell her my fears. I had always been rather careful with my trust, and for the average person, it would take much, much longer than a couple of hours for him or her to earn my trust, probably closer to a month or more. I knew there was more to her than she was letting off, but there was something about her that caused me to feel comfortable, a connection?
“There’s still about thirty minutes or so until classes start; want to have some breakfast? I’m buying.” The sudden change in subject stirred me from my thoughts. I looked up to see an almost nervous grin covering her face. “Unless you have to get going right away.”
“No, that sounds nice.” A look of relief poured over her face, and I could see her muscles relax. I was curious as to what could have possibly made her so nervous about asking me a question like that. I immediately pushed aside the hopeful thoughts that she may have been interested in me, but knew that did not mean there wasn’t something amiss. It seemed as though a nice, beautiful girl like herself would have no issues with their self-confidence around an awkward guy like me; she did though.
The more time that was spent with Sunset, the more curious I grew about who she truly was. It seemed as though such a subject would be quite personal, and I had yet to earn the luxury of asking it without any worries of a negative reaction.
Some form of breakfast scramble was slopped down onto our trays along with our choice of fruit on the side. It was certainly not anything near a gourmet meal, but I was glad to be spending more time with Sunset Shimmer.
“I know it’ll probably take a day or two of classes to form a real opinion, but what do you think of the school so far? Are you looking forward to spending the rest of your school year here or…?” she asked after we’d taken a seat in the fairly empty cafeteria.
“Uh…” I mumbled as a pondered the question, using my fork to fiddle with a clump of eggs on my plate. “I wouldn’t say I’m looking forward to it, but I guess I can deal with it.”
“Aww, is there a reason, or just not a major fan of school?” she asked with concern, her aqua colored eyes gazing at me attentively.
The perfect moment had arisen for me to tell her my original fears, but I was unsure if I was able. My heartbeat quickened slightly at the thought. I couldn’t believe myself. I would simply have to speak my mind, but for some unknown reason, I was afraid to. It was going to make me sound slightly awkward, but sitting there and saying nothing would give me the appearance of being extremely awkward. “I guess I’m nervous about socializing… my social life, you know?”
She tilted her head slightly, intrigued by such a statement. “Why is that?”
A wave a nervous energy rushed through my body as I attempted to speak once more. “Well, I’m guessing you can tell… I probably won’t fit in very well. I don’t really fit the standard for a normal high school student or anything.” I paused and let out a sigh, giving myself a break to rebuild my courage. “To make things worse… I’m pretty shy too.” I shrugged and quickly moved a hand to the back of my head to scratch it.
Sunset wrapped a hand around my wrist which still rested upon the table and smiled comfortingly. “Look, from what I’ve seen, you’re nice, sweet, and even a little funny too. I don’t think you need to be worried, but if you do have a hard time making friends, there’s always me. I really don’t think my friends would mind having you around either.”
“Thanks,” I said softly, giving her a nod as my face began to heat up. I was almost unable to believe how sweet she was being about my problem. I figured I had made the correct choice; it was a good idea to speak my mind after all. She had me feeling much more comfortable, and even a bit joyous.
***
After finishing up my pleasant breakfast with Sunset, pleasant because of her company rather than what was being eaten, I made my way back to the parking lot where my mother awaited me. She looked up from her phone as I opened the door and then smiled. “Hey, sweetie, looks like the tour went well.”
“Huh… what do you mean?” I muttered curiously as I raised an eyebrow.
“You’re smiling now. You were frowning when I dropped you off.” I tried to force down the wide smile which had somehow managed to sneak its way onto my face. I wasn’t ready to admit that perhaps moving to a new school hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. I had already met an amazing girl. Yet, there was no possible way I was forming my opinion of a school around one girl. I had yet to take in enough to form an opinion. I guess you could say I was still on the fence, although Sunset Shimmer was pulling me more in one direction. “Anyways, that took a little longer than we expected. Did you have to do something else while you were in there?”
“Uh… no, not really,” I lied.
My heart thumped heavily against my chest as I approached the school. I had managed to arrive somewhat later than I wanted solely due to the fact of my hesitation at home. A river of students made their way inside the building, causing me to wonder how large of an ocean lay inside. My answer was given quickly.
As I opened the door, the roar of hundreds of students speaking at once filled my ears; I was already uncomfortable. The halls were so crowded that nearly every student was either touching or brushing shoulders against one another. Foot traffic was clogged; I watched two backed up lines of students struggling to push their way through the crowds, one line approaching me, the other going off in the opposite direction.
I decided to slip my way past a few of the students while I scanned the halls for a familiar, beautiful face. My drive to continue pushing ahead faltered easily; I knew it would. I grew more and more uncomfortable the farther into the crowd of unfamiliar faces I went. My stomach fluttered with anxiety and my body was practically shaking. Unable to fight back any longer, I let my instincts take over, flight rather than fight.
I managed to get myself turned around as quickly as possible, and took the straightest path back to the entrance that I could find. A sigh of relief pushed its way from my mouth as I escaped the hectic, oppressive atmosphere of the chaotic scene that lay behind me. The open world around me seemed incredibly silent, my ears still adjusted to the loud rumbling of voices inside.
As with the previous morning, there was a slight chill in the air, nothing I couldn’t handle, especially when it provided peace and quiet as well. Not wanting to stand in the center of the main pathway to the school, I strolled off towards a bench which I had spotted in the lawn. It was nothing special, a simple wooden bench beside a tree, but at least it was calm and without any unwanted activity.
I flung my backpack aside before plopping down onto the hard, wooden surface. I let out another sigh as I adjusted my bag so that it sat beside me, and then began rubbing my hands across my eyes. I was already stressed, and the day hadn’t even started. Unsure of what to do to pass the time, I pulled out my phone and skimmed through my Ponyhoof feed. It seemed as though our world had some strange obsession with naming things after equines, Ponyhoof, Canterlot High, Wondercolts. I thought to myself how odd that sounded, but then realized what a pointless question it was. It was better just to accept the fact.
“Hiya!” My body jolted at the sudden and extremely chipper greeting, then froze as I felt a pair of hands wrap around my shoulders. I craned my neck so that I could see exactly who the pink hands belonged to. I was greeted by one of the widest grins I had ever witnessed, and bright blue eyes which sparkled with excitement. “I’m Pinkie Pie! You must be our newest student and my newest friend. Without warning, she hopped over the back of the bench, her incredibly curly hair bouncing as if it were made of springs. Before I even had the chance to move my backpack, she was already sitting directly on top of it. “Oopsie,” she giggled after realizing what she’d done. She pulled the bag from beneath her bottom and set it in my lap.
“Hey there, Pinkie, and yeah, I am the new one, I guess.”
“You guess?” she eyeballed me suspiciously.
“I mean, yes, yes I am.”
Her grin returned. “Okie dokie! I heard Sunset was the one who gave you a tour, did ya like her, huh?”
“Uh… yeah,” I nodded my head, the mentioning of the name bringing thoughts of her to mind.
“Well, good! I’m super-duper happy that you got to meet her before you heard anything about her from anyone else, you know?”
“Not really?” I questioned, shaking my head. I was curious as to what exactly she meant by her statement. Were there bad rumors and gossip going around about Sunset? That was high school though, a horrible cesspool of humanity.
“Never mind then,” she said, giving me a suspiciously fake smile. “But you and me, we should totally hang out sometime, okay?” I nodded my head once more, not exactly sure how to respond. “Awesomemazing, I’ll be looking forward to it. Here!” she quickly snatched my phone from my hand. I stared at her wide-eyed, at first unsure of what she was doing. The phone was returned with her name in my contacts and a grinning emoji beside it. I can’t say I had ever had a girl forcibly give me her number before Pinkie. She was certainly an energetic and outgoing one, I’ll give her that.
The shrill, distant ring of the bell gave an abrupt end to our conversation. I quickly got up onto my feet and placed the straps of my bag over my shoulders. Pinkie continued to sit, looking up at me with her wide, sparkling blue eyes as if in shock from being cut off. “Aww!” she pouted, smacking a fisted hand against the seat of the bench. “I really wanted to get to know you better.”
“Uh… we can always talk later,” I said as comfortingly as I could. I knew my words had worked when she hopped up gleefully from her seat.
“Sounds like a plan! See ya!” she cheered, a slight giggle in her tone. With that, she skipped off to class. I would have walked with her, but her pace was much too fast for my liking; that, and I had no idea where her first class was located compared to my own.
Pinkie Pie, the name was a perfect fit for a girl like her. It seemed as if every school, whether it be fictional or real had a student like her. The bubbly, extremely outgoing, and silly girl who is friends, or at least wants to be considered a friend of everyone in the school. She was quite cute, both her looks and personality. I began to wonder if she was interested in me. I knew that most likely it wasn’t the case. She was simply attempting to be friendly. It would be nice to spend some time with her anyways, even if it wasn’t anything close to a date. Besides, I had my eyes set on the first girl I’d met in CHS. I already had a feeling that Sunset would make a much better companion.
My heart jumped when I realized that I was still standing in front of the bench. In a near-panic, I rushed of towards the school, not running due to the fact that I did not want to look like a complete idiot, but walking at a rather quick pace so I could hopefully reach my first class on time.
My first set of classes passed by without a problem, and rather quickly at that. Most of my time was spent churning out whatever homework I received before the class ended so I wouldn’t have to work on it later. When my mind wasn’t distracted with work, it wandered to the two friends I had already made. I was surprised by how well my quest to not be alone was going. Even more surprising was the fact that the friends I had made were both girls. Back home, I had a few closer acquaintances which were female, but no one I ever actually spent a good amount of time with. It was nice in a way, a good change of pace.
The bell rang, signaling lunch. The other students had already packed their things and rushed out of the door the second the period ended. Being lost in my thoughts, I still had a notebook, papers, and writing utensils scattered across my desk. Sighing, I slowly packed my things. I had a feeling there was going to be a large line, and there was no point in rushing any longer. Everyone had ran to the cafeteria, already awaiting their food. The teacher watched me curiously as I stood up, probably not used to such activity from a student when it seemed like each and every one of them scattered at the sound of the bell. I gave her a smile, not wanting to talk, and quickly exited the classroom.
My predictions were correct; the halls were absolutely silent besides the distant roar near the lunchroom. As I turned around a corner to reach it, I realized that the students hanging around outside of its wide doorways were actually a part of the lunch line. I grumbled at the horrid sight, wondering if I would even have time to eat my lunch once I had received it.
Already bored by the thought of waiting, I pulled my phone from my pocket and tapped in its passcode. No notifications, I had expected as much. I never had many friends, and the ones back home had most likely already forgotten about my existence. I accidentally tapped on my contacts and noticed Pinkie’s name. My finger hovered over the screen, wondering whether or not I should send her a text. I decided against it, realizing that she was likely busy chatting with however many hundreds of friends she had. Lunch was always the social hour in school after all. Besides, all I could think to say was, “Hey, what’s up?” I could be an extremely boring person sometimes.
I looked away from my phone once I’d managed to enter the cafeteria. I gazed around at the nerve-wracking sea of students. I knew absolutely no one that I could see. I attempted to spot Pinkie’s bouncy hair, or Sunset’s beautiful crimson and gold locks; I came up with nothing.
I had figured that because of the fact that I was so new, all eyes would be on me that day; they weren’t. I wanted to feel relieved by this revelation, but I wasn’t at all. It was as if I did not even exist; I was a ghost in a sea of life, ignored and alone. I turned back to my phone, wanting the world around me to stop existing as well. I lost myself in my mind or whatever I could find to occupy it on my phone.
***
After what seemed like hours, I finally received my lunch. Then came the daunting task of finding a place to sit. After completing a more thorough scan of the cafeteria, I had finally spotted where Sunset Shimmer was sitting. Low and behold, Pinkie was with her as well. Sadly there were quite a few others girls I didn’t know, leaving no extra seat for me. Besides, I wasn’t sure I would feel comfortable sitting with all of the other girls I hadn’t met yet, but perhaps they were as friendly as Sunset and Pinkie.
Growing impatient and nervous, I simply wanted to find a seat as quickly as possible. I happened to spot an empty table in the corner, and headed straight for it. As I took a seat and began to nibble at my food, I couldn’t help but stare at both Sunset and Pinkie across the way.
It was hard to see their expressions at such a distance, but from what I could tell, all of the girls were simply chatting, laughing every now and again, and enjoying themselves. It would have been nice to be a part of, but I wasn’t sure how good of a conversationalist I could be. Our interests most likely were not even close to being the same. I would most likely sit there in silence.
I would look to my food whenever one of them happened to gaze in my direction, but after so many close calls, I was finally spotted. My heart began to pound as I watched Sunset rise to her feet and begin heading in my direction. I eyeballed my food and anything else I could spot besides her, still pretending not to notice.
“Hey, why are you sitting over here all alone?”
I turned to face her as she rested her hands upon the table. “Oh, hey, Sunset. I just uh… I was thinking about sitting over there, but it looks like there’s nowhere to sit.”
She chuckled. “Why don’t you just pull up a seat? If you don’t know any of the other girls, just sit next to me and I’ll introduce you, come on.”
“Uh…” I mumbled nervously. “Maybe I’ll just stay. I do know Pinkie, but no one else.”
“Yeah, but Pinkie knows everyone. Don’t you want to meet the others? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you sitting with them. I pondered the question as I sat tensely in my seat. Before I could come up with an answer, her hand wrapped around my wrist. “You’ll be fine, they don’t bite or anything,” she said with a laugh.
She helped me up to my feet, and I grabbed both my plate and drink before I was pulled over to the table.
Pinkie gasped with excitement as she saw my approach. “Hi again, new guy! What’s up?” she asked with the giddiest of grins. I watched with discomfort as the other girls looked me over curiously.
“Yes, this is our newest student,” Sunset announced while she pulled up a chair beside her own. “I hope you don’t mind if he sits with us. He’s a bit shy, and having a hard time meeting people.”
“Nah, it’s cool,” said a rather sporty looking girl with rainbow colored hair. She was leaning back upon her chair and resting her head against her hands.
“Absolutely fine, dear,” said the fashionably dressed one with perfectly styled violet hair.
I smiled at their acceptance as I set down my plate and scooted my chair up beside Sunset’s. “I’m shy too,” one said softly, brushing her long pink hair from her face to reveal a pair of large, beautiful teal eyes. “Um… I’m Fluttershy by the way.”
“The name’s Rainbow Dash. Most everybody around here just calls me Dash or Rainbow though, sometimes RD. Whatever you want, I don’t really care,” the sporty one said with a shrug.
“And I’m Rarity,” the fancy looking girl added, brushing a hand through her hair as if to add a sense of ambiance to the introduction.
“I’m Applejack, pleasure ta meet ya,” said a freckled farm girl wearing a cowboy hat. I was surprised by how firm her grasp was as we shook hands.
“And I’m Pinkie!” Pinkie chimed in, snorting with laughter. “But you already know that!”
“So, how are your classes going so far? Have you had any problems?” Sunset asked in a kind tone, starting up a simple conversation so I wouldn’t feel any more awkward than I already was.
“They’re all going fairly alright, I guess. I haven’t really had any problems, and even got most of my homework finished in class.”
“Well, that’s good. I’ve actually been doing the same thing recently. It’s nice to get home after a long day and have so much free time, but… I don’t really ever do that much with it. Anyways, have you gotten to know anyone else besides us?”
I could tell that her statement about not having much to do after school was something she did not mean to say. Her question was a valid one, and most likely a real concern of hers, but I knew it was being used to cover up what she had said. “Uh… not really,” I said with a shrug.
“Well, remember, you always have me,” she said, giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder.
“And me!” Pinkie added. “We still totally need to hang out sometime soon, really soon.”
“You can hang out with any of us if you really want to. I know I wouldn’t mind, and I don’t think anybody else would either,” Rainbow said, giving me a soft smile. The others nodded their heads in agreement.
“Thanks,” I said with a smile, an urge of excitement overcoming my anxiety. Each and every one of them was actually willing to spend time with me. I was completely and utterly amazed. These were some great girls, and I was overjoyed that I happened to meet them. “I’ll think about it; we can plan something.”
“Just ask me if you want anybody else’s number, okay?” Pinkie said with a grin. “I’ll text them to ya!”
I nodded my head and grinned. “Sounds great.”
“It’s good to see you smiling,” Sunset said in a chipper tone. “I was a bit worried.” I was confused at first, but realized that I had not often been happy since I’d arrived. I had been acting somewhat mopey and depressed for the most part.
The conversation petered off into nothing. I was unsure of exactly how I should respond, and it seemed as though Sunset had nothing else to say anyways. Losing their interest, the other girls turned to one another out of boredom, and easily formed a completely different subject to ramble on about.
I had always been both a keen listener and observer, although I had a hard time making sense of so many small conversations at once. There was quite an interesting detail that I did happen to notice though. It seemed as though Sunset was trying her best to both comment on and become a part of any of the conversations. The others would respond to said comments, but quickly return to speaking with one another as if it was a private conversation.
In no way were they doing this to be mean. It was a rather remarkable situation. Although Sunset Shimmer had a well-established position in their group, it seemed as if she were still an outsider, a newcomer. At first glance, they loved her as strongly as they did each other, but as I looked closer, it seemed as though it was a false cover. If my conclusion was correct, it was as if they had accepted her into their group as a charity effort of some form or another.
As I had originally assumed, there was much more to the girl named Sunset Shimmer than she wanted to let off. The more time I would spend at the school, the more I would learn about her, whether it actually be from her or the others around me. The bell rang, shaking me from my thoughts. In a near dream like state, I grabbed my bag and dumped my tray as I attempted to recollect exactly where my next class was located, and for that matter, what my next class was.
I arrived home, completely exhausted; the stress of my first day at a new school finally catching up to me. I reached my room and let my backpack fall to the floor with a loud thump. The loss of weight did little to relieve my exhaustion; I ended up falling face first onto my bed, passing out nearly as soon as my forehead made contact with my pillow.
Having slept for an hour or so, I woke to the smell of dinner. I stumbled from my room and down to the kitchen to receive the delicious smelling sustenance. Taking a seat, I was bombarded with questions from my mother. I responded with the shortest answers possible, much too lost in the taste of the food and in the act of gaining energy.
Quickly finishing up with my meal, I struggled to return to my room, remembering that I did have a bit of homework which needed to be finished. Of course, I was not going to only be doing that. After preforming the same act throughout the whole day, I had lost all motivation to do more. My solution, spend around a quarter of my time actually doing the paper, and the rest procrastinating on my phone.
Habitually, I went straight for my contacts. Scrolling through the collection of names, my finger again hovered over Pinkie’s name. She would be rather fun to chat with, but I knew our conversation would end up heading in the direction of us getting together so we could do something. I certainly didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying no, and I did want to do something with her; I was much too tired that night though.
The sight of her name also caused me to recall something else. I had yet to receive Sunset’s number, and Pinkie had said that she could provide me with any of the girls’ numbers. It felt somewhat wrong retrieving her number without any given permission, but I was fairly certain she wouldn’t mind. After sending Pinkie a quick text, I went about solving equations on my math homework, something which I could have finished earlier in the day, but had put off on every occasion I could.
A few problems in, my phone buzzed. Sure thing! :D, the message read, followed by a hyperlinked number. I was more than pleased with what a simple response she had made, no questions and it gave me what I needed.
It took the completion of a few more math problems before I was able to gather enough courage to send Sunset the simplest of texts; one which told her who it was from, and asked what she was currently doing.
As I always tended to do when texting nearly anyone, I began to grow restless immediately after it sent and I received no response. It had only been around five minutes, and I was already believing I had done something wrong. I tried my best to absorb myself in my homework, but all my mind could do was think of Sunset and the text she should have been sending.
My heart jumped as a sudden vibration was felt against my bed. I weighed in the conclusions before flipping my phone over; it could always be Pinkie again, but perhaps if I was lucky enough, it would indeed be Sunset. I flipped it over as quickly as I could, like pulling away a bandage. My heart pounded harder as I realized it was exactly who I wanted it to be. Hey glad you decided to text. Was gonna get ur number from Pinkie. Sorry for the wait. Was taking a shower.
My mouth dropped open. Had she really wanted to talk to me as desperately as I wanted to with her? I was overjoyed but almost in a state of shock, having no clue what exactly to say next. I decided on explaining to her exactly why I had decided to text with her. Really? I was just bored. Doing math homework and wanted someone to talk to. Thought of you. After it was sent, I began to worry whether or not the fact that I was thinking of her seemed too flirtatious. I realized that there was nothing I could do. It was already sent, and besides, I was sure that I was overreacting as always.
Boring! Math sucks! I was thinking of you too. Like I said I was gonna get ur number from Pinkie. I should probably get to work on my homework too. I can do it while we chat. Now the worry was whether or not she was attempting to flirt back. Had she assumed that I was simply being friendly and decided to do the same, or did she know it meant something more?
Little more excitement came from our conversation that night. Most of it consisted of either complaining about our homework, or Sunset asking me what I thought of the school and my classes. It was nice to have someone to talk with, even if it was about simple everyday concerns. That was what a good relationship was about after all. I even ended up staying awake a bit later than I had originally planned to keep her company while she finished up her work. It seemed as though she was quite grateful; so it was well worth the effort. When I did finally attempt to get some sleep, I struggled to, due to the fact of how excited I was to see her face to face again the next day. I had a feeling that I was falling for her fast, and my prediction was true.
I did little else my first week at Canterlot High School. I was nearly as exhausted as I had been that first night each night after, my body, mind, and emotions still struggling to adjust to the sudden and extreme change. I ended up using my weekend as a period of recovery. I was more than intrigued by the thought of spending one of my free days with Sunset or any of my new friends but simply could not. I was weak to the point of almost feeling sick. I assured myself that the next week would be different, and hoped that such a goal would encourage me to do better.
***
It was another cool morning, something I had grown accustomed to in my first week, along with the view from my bench. Sitting outside had already been integrated into my daily routine. The large crowds within the school still caused me to feel uneasy, and I enjoyed receiving fresh air before being cooped up inside for the rest of the day.
As was usual, I grew tired of sightseeing and turned my eyes down to the glowing screen of my phone. In a state of what at first seemed to be Déjà vu, I was startled by a sudden voice, but I already knew it was not Pinkie. I looked up from my screen to see a cute girl with both mint green hair and skin, along with beautiful, nearly golden eyes. Who am I kidding, it seemed as though almost every girl in the school was attractive, and there were plenty of them. “You’re the new guy, right?” she asked. I responded with a simple nod. “Mind if I take a seat?”
“Nah, not at all.”
“I noticed you’ve been hanging out with Sunset Shimmer. I’m not exactly sure what she told you, but she’s not as sweet as you think. Actually, she’s not sweet at all.”
“She’s not?” I questioned, raising my eyebrow at the strange girl curiously, hoping to receive a better explanation.
“I’m sure you’ve heard what happened…” she leaned in close to my ear as if to tell a secret. “It’s all true; she is some kind of monster,” she whispered softly, and pulled away with wide eyes.
“What’s all true? What do you mean by monster?” I questioned, my tone growing somewhat annoyed.
“You really haven’t heard? It didn’t happen too long ago.”
“What didn’t happen?” I asked, growing more aggravated by the second.
“I probably should’ve just kept my mouth shut. I’m really sorry. You’ll probably figure it out soon enough. I guess I shouldn’t be saying anymore.” She disappeared as quickly as she came, leaving me confused, angered, and questioning everything I had learned about Sunset Shimmer. Perhaps the girl was crazy, maybe she believed that Sunset was a literal monster, but most likely, she meant it in the figurative sense. What had she done to be called a monster?
I wanted to know, but I would feel horrible if I had to ask her. Questioning why exactly she was considered a monster certainly wasn’t the nicest or most well thought out of questions. I knew it may turn out even worse if I asked another behind her back though. I had to know, but at the same time, I had no idea how to figure it out. All that mattered was that the Sunset Shimmer she currently was, was a wonderful girl, and that was all that mattered.
The ring of the bell seemed even louder than usual that morning as it ushered me in to my first class.
***
I was utterly shocked when I was asked at lunch by Sunset if I was willing to have her over after school. Perhaps in a way to make such an offer sound less desperate on her part, she explained that she was interested in receiving some help on her math homework. I was never the best with math, but at least I knew what I was doing in the chapter that we were working on at the time. I did gain high hopes though. After beating around the bush, she finally did admit that her main objective was to spend time with me.
I paced nervously back and forth in my room, awaiting her text. I had only finished my own dinner a few minutes before, and knew that she may still be eating. It felt as if I had been waiting for hours, and I knew that the longer I waited the more issues and worries my mind would create. I began to wonder whether or not I should fix my hair some before she arrived. Intricate plans of what I would say and exactly how it would be said began to form in my mind from worry of being unexciting for her. I thought of drinking something caffeinated so that I could be at least somewhat more energetic. I pondered whether or not I should take a quick shower or perhaps put on some extra deodorant or find some of my stepfather’s cologne.
I finally remembered something I had always been told by my mother since I was young. It’s as easy as being yourself. No one likes a lie, those that do are lying to themselves as well. I tried my best to calm myself. I sat down upon the corner of my bed and took deep, drawn out breathes, letting my eyes fall shut.
They shot open at the buzz of my phone which still rested against my thigh, tucked tightly away in my pocket. After struggling to pull it out and quickly tapping in my passcode, my heart pounded heavily against my chest and my stomach buzzed with anxiety. Hey. Think I’m at the right place. Come outside to make sure. I was expecting her to at least give me a heads up before coming by.
I opened the door with an almost shaking hand. I was greeted by a rather odd but completely adorable sight. I couldn’t help but stare; I had never expected to see Sunset in pajamas, even on an occasion like that. It seemed as though she tried to look her best each and every day. Something about the abrupt change in appearance made her seem even more beautiful than she already was. Perhaps it was the simple fact that she was comfortable enough around me to do such a thing that made the sight so striking.
Sunset giggled nervously at my near-obsessive staring, a light blush appearing on her cheeks. “Sorry if I look sort of weird. I took a shower before I came and didn’t want to get all dressed up again. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” I said, laughing just as nervously and feeling my cheeks heating up. “Oh, and come in.”
She nodded her head and smiled softly as I opened the door wider for her. “Hello, Sunset Shimmer, right?” my mother asked from behind me, causing me to jump slightly in shock. I began to wonder how long she had been watching us. I had explained to her earlier that what she was doing was exactly what I didn’t want, but of course she did it anyways. Pushing her way in front of me, she extended her hand in greeting.
“Yes,” Sunset said, lightly grasping her hand.
“Well, I just have to say that you are a very pretty girl.”
“Thank you,” Sunset said with a grin, “even though I’m sure I don’t look the best right now.”
“Oh, you look great, sweetie… anyways, I’ll let you two be. I was told not to interfere,” she said with a smirk as she turned her eyes to me. Sunset giggled and gave me a teasing wink as my mother wandered off into the house.
I rolled my eyes in embarrassment and silently lead her to my room. After setting down her books upon my bed she asked if she could take a seat. I of course told her yes and watched as she gently rested upon her bottom and then crossed her legs, showing off her pair of velvety, yellow slippers. Once again, I was awestruck by how adorable she looked.
I quickly grabbed my pencil and sat before my open book and notepad which I had already laid out beside her. “I guess we better get to work, huh?” I asked nervously, my heartbeat quickening, unsure of any other option.
“Yeah, I guess,” she sighed, pouting and huffing at me teasingly.
“Oh, come one, it won’t be too bad,” I said with a smile.
She gazed into my eyes for a slight second, causing me to freeze up. “At least I have someone to do it with.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled softly as her eyes darted away.
After helping her feel comfortable with solving the problems, we both began to grow silent as we worked out our answers, wanting to be done with the work as quickly as we could. Silence always tended to make my mind wander, even if I was concentrating on something important. I couldn’t help but think of what the strange girl had said to me early that morning. I still couldn’t wrap my head around Sunset ever being a truly wicked girl, but subtle hints did seem to point to it.
Even though she was beautiful, sweet, and had the sort of personality that would make a girl popular, it seemed as if nearly every student at CHS hated her or avoided her. That slight façade of acting overly-nice still hung over nearly everything she said or did, even now that she seemed so comfortable around me. Finally, there was still the way she dressed, always nice, but rebellious in a way. I began to wonder if perhaps her past was a rather dark one, and what exactly something like that said about her, along with what it meant for me, for us.
“Whew,” she breathed out, a relieved smile upon her face. “All done.”
“Good,” I said, smiling back. “So, uh, now what?”
“Ugh, I dunno, I’m exhausted. I feel like I haven’t sleep in ages or something.” She groaned as she pushed her books aside and fell forward onto the bed, giving herself a rest. I was unsure of exactly how to react. Would she grow uncomfortable if I lay beside her? Perturbed at myself for being so hesitant, I forced myself to do so, knowing that if I didn’t, the night would turn into a series of what-ifs.
“You tired too?” she asked as she rolled over onto her side, practically forcing me to gaze into her beautiful eyes.
“…Yeah, I’m always tired though,” I said with a laugh, causing her to giggle slightly.
“Maybe you should get more sleep then?” she questioned, giving me a smirk. “I really think I need to.” I was beginning to wonder if she was simply making a couple of statements, or hinting at something in a round-a-bout way. “I always end up sleeping better with someone else. I don’t know what it is exactly… maybe the extra warmth… or just knowing that I have someone else by my side.” A deep frown appeared on her face, and her eyes seemed to grow wet as if about to burst into tears. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve had that kind of company.” My heart began to pound heavily, my cheeks grew heated, and I felt as if I was running out of breath; it was not only a hint, but also a plea.
“I…” was the only word I managed to mutter out. I gazed into her eyes for a moment longer before she turned them away. Perhaps I had misunderstood after all. I was beginning to think my sudden hints of affection were making her nervous. If that was the case, I had already ruined whatever I thought we had. There was no point in holding it back if the outcome was the same… and there always was the off chance, “If you really want to, I could uh… be that someone. I mean, no way my mom would ever let you spend the night or anything like that but we could cuddle for a bit or… something like that.”
I could see her face growing red as she pondered, or perhaps pretended to ponder the question. “Yes!” she finally gasped, a wide smile upon her face. “I was sort of hoping you’d say that.”
My heart somehow began to pound even faster as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled herself against me, making the first move. Almost as if it was a repressed instinct, I placed my arm around her slender waist and pulled her even closer.
I suddenly realized that I had never been so close to a girl in my life. My entire body shuddered with both excitement and nerves at the thought. Sunset gazed at me questioningly a moment before letting out the softest of giggles. Our foreheads touching, I could smell and feel her breaths as they pushed out onto my face.
I let my eyes fall shut as her hand began to move in a circular motion across my shoulder blade. My body and mind had been numbed by the shock of suddenly getting so incredibly close to her, but those feelings began to come back as I relaxed with the calming motions of her hand.
Sunset’s body was extremely warm, her soft velvety pajamas gently pushing up against my clothes and exposed arms. Her perky, but soft breasts pushed up tightly against my chest, and her crotch lightly touched my own as she rubbed her slipper covered feet against mine.
I attempted to pull her even closer, wanting more of her body and warmth, while gently rubbing my forehead against hers. In that blissful silence, I began to realize how hard I had truly fallen for her, and how desperately I wanted more. The thought of pressing my lips to hers crossed my mind, but somehow I knew the time wasn’t right. We still had to shorten the distance between us. I felt as if I barely even knew her. At that moment, cuddling was the perfect reward for what I had accomplished so far. I had never even thought we would have grown that close.
With a slight adjustment, Sunset accidentally rubbed her crotch somewhat deeply against my own. I blushed, stunned and immediately aroused by the sensation. My body then tensed and shivered slightly. I grew both awkward and ashamed as she quickly pulled away. “Thank you for everything tonight, but I just… I’m not so sure about us, and I guess now would be the perfect time for me to leave,” she said softly, a hint of disappointment in her tone.
“…I’m sorry,” I mumbled as she rose to her feet and gathered her books.
She responded with a sweet, comforting smile and stroked a hand through my hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. It’s just that…” her words faded into nothing, and she left in silence, leaving me more alone than I had ever felt before and completely confused.
At first I was under the assumption that I had ruined our night with my stupid hormones, but after what she had said, I had no clue what went wrong. It seemed as though with anything relating to Sunset Shimmer, there was always something more, something I didn’t know; it annoyed me to no end. I was almost certain that one of those unknown subjects was the exact reason why the night ended the way it did. I needed answers, but I still knew my asking would be insensitive.
The coming days would begin to convince me that I despised school, myself, and my life. That night of late contemplation and little sleep would be bliss compared to what was to come.
As the days passed, it seemed as though Sunset and I were growing farther apart. I saw her nearly every day at lunch and in our math class, but it seemed as though she was purposely ignoring me or saying as little as she could when I tried to speak with her. I felt utterly defeated, to the point that I no longer attempted to say hello, or even turn my eyes in her direction for that matter.
Friend or more, she seemed to be the only person I had any form of connection with at CHS. Of course, her friends were my friends, but I still felt new. It was almost as if I didn’t belong, just like Sunset. I had no one to converse or spend time with… well, there was always Pinkie Pie. She considered herself my friend, so why shouldn’t I do the same for her? I had a feeling that even though she barely knew me, she would still do almost anything for me.
My mood plummeted even further that day, lunch was like a cliff. I needed someone to spill my thoughts and emotions to, and all I had was Pinkie. So emotionally unstable though, I feared that I would burst into tears in front of the others, the whole cafeteria for that matter. I was literally too afraid to talk.
Not wanting to chance such a situation into happening, and not in the mood to be around the others anyways, I took my seat at an unoccupied table in the emptiest corner of the cafeteria that I could find.
I used a fork to fiddle with the small plate of food which I had grabbed. I was hungry but in no mood to eat. In a way, I felt sick. My head ached, my body was weak, and both my heart and mind hurt. I felt helpless, even though I knew there were those that would aid me. I didn’t want Pinkie to see me in such a state. I felt like a fool. I knew I shouldn’t have been so hurt over one girl, but I was a complete wreck.
I cursed beneath my breath as I looked up to see a rather concerned Pinkie heading in my direction. I had the urge to get up and leave, but knew I couldn’t. At the time, I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was truly glad to see how much she cared for me. “Whatcha doing all the way over here? Is everything okay?” her voice rang into my ears as she took a seat beside me, and edged her chair up so close to my own that they were touching. “There’s something wrong, huh? You look super sad. I don’t like it when you’re sad… well, when anyone’s sad.”
I sighed heavily as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders and rested her body against me; I could already feel the sting of tears as they welled up in my eyes. “Pinkie… I just… never mind, I don’t want to talk about it right now. I can’t.” I grimaced painfully as I tried my hardest to hold back the tears, and shook my head in defeat as I felt their warmth trickling down the edges of my nose.
“Are you sure?” she asked softly, pulling me into an even deeper embrace. “You and me can talk about anything, you know? I promise to help and not tell anybody else.”
“I know, Pinkie,” I mumbled as I wrapped my arm around her as well. “Maybe later… for now, you’re already helping.”
“Good,” she whispered, patting her hand softly at my back. “Now, I’m pretty sure that being all lonely and stuff isn’t going to help you cheer up. You just need to get out and have a little fun. Wanna go to the arcade with me tonight? It’ll just be the two of us.”
I knew she was right. Having fun and being with a friend like her would certainly move my mind away from the situation I was in, at least for a short while. Perhaps I would even gather enough of my sanity to actually tell her what I wanted to say. “Yeah… okay. Can we go right after school?”
I looked over at her as she pulled her head away, giving me the widest of grins. “You really, really just said yes? I almost thought you didn’t want to do stuff with me. Right after school? Yes, yes, yes!”
The slightest hint of an emotion I had not felt for many days nestled itself inside me. My frown was slowly flickering to life as it turned up into the softest of smiles. I knew Pinkie was going to be happy when I finally agreed to spend time with her, but I never expected her to be as happy she was. I had seen her grin hundreds of times since we’d met, but never so wide. “You’re, uh, really that excited?”
“Of course I am, silly! I’ve been wanting to do this ever since I met you!”
I smiled sheepishly. “Well, yeah… I guess I have been putting it off.”
“Meanie!” she teased, sticking her tongue out at me. “Oh, I’m sooo excited you don’t even know!”
***
I had not yet been to the local arcade; it was a nice change of scenery. It was rather small, established in a timeworn brick building downtown, and looked nothing close to the other buildings which all looked almost brand-new in the prestigious state they were kept in. Inside, the atmosphere was close to any other arcade that I had ever been to. The overhead light was low, letting the bright, technicolor glow of the screens, and the flashing lights of the machines provide the majority of illumination. Music, voices, and sound effects echoed through the room. The red, brick walls were rather plain besides a few neon and LED signs hanging on them, their cords traveling to unseen power strips behind the many machines.
After devouring a dinner of rather greasy pizza slices which we had purchased at the snack counter, we proceeded to gather a pile of tokens and sample what the arcade had to offer. I was growing happier by the minute. The simple act of doing something that I enjoyed with an amazing friend was more than enough to begin pulling me out of my depression. We played nearly each and every game no matter how strange or silly it looked, finding some of them quite enjoyable, and others incredibly challenging. Instead of growing angered or defeated when we failed, we would laugh at our dumb mistakes. I was growing more attached to that silly girl by the minute, but thoughts of Sunset always re-entered my mind. There was something much more special about her, something I could not explain.
After starting up a game of air hockey, the conversation that I had been both pleading to happen, and for it not to, began. “You ready to talk about… ya know?” Pinkie asked as we shot the puck back and forth across the table. There were only a few other people in the arcade. I knew none of them, and they were all quite a ways away from us. It was the perfect time to talk, and she knew it.
I let out a sigh and froze up slightly, feeling my heart beginning to pound. I barely even noticed the puck fly past my stopper and into the goal. Pinkie struggled not to giggle, causing me to shake myself from paralysis to retrieve it. “Yeah, I guess,” I said as I placed the puck back on the table and shot it her way.
“So, what’s up? What’s got ya down these last few days?” she asked as she ricocheted the puck back and forth across the table
“….Sunset Shimmer,” I admitted with a gulp, blocking and then hitting the puck back.
“Knew it!” Pinkie exclaimed, flinging her hands up into the air and letting the puck right into her goal. “Whoopsie… but I am pretty good at seeing this sort of stuff, huh?”
“I guess?” I said with a shrug as she reached down for the puck.
“Anyways, go on. I’m all ears,” she said with a giggle, using her fingers to tilt her ears towards me.
I chuckled and rolled my eyes. I then gulped, my cheeks lighting up as the seriousness of the situation returned. “Well, I… I like her as more than a friend, and-”
“What?” Pinkie gasped, her mouth dropping open and her eyes growing wide. “Oh my gosh! You know she’s totally into you too, right?”
My heart pounded at the thought. “You really think? I mean, how do you know? Did she say?”
She shook her head, letting her curls bounce about. “Nopey nope nope, I can just tell. Have you ever paid attention to the way she looks at you, how she acts sorta different around you, the way she talks to you… well, used to talk to you?”
My heart was wrenching and my frown returning. “Yeah, that’s the problem. Why isn’t she talking to me? Any ideas?”
Pinkie frowned and shook her head. “No clue, I thought it was because she was afraid to tell you her feelings or that you might have turned her down or something.”
“Yeah, I sort of feel like it was the other way around to be honest,” I said with a shrug, walking away from the table top and to a bench in the corner after noticing we had given up on keeping our interest in the game.
Pinkie followed close behind and took a seat beside me, scratching her chin in thought. “Hmm, that’s strange. Maybe she’s worried or being cautious or something. After all that happened, I don’t think anyone has gotten as close to her as you have.”
I could feel my body growing tense. If anything dealt with Sunset, it always somehow ended up wrapping back around to mysterious past events that I had no knowledge of. “What do you mean? Ugh, I’ve heard stuff like this so many times since I got here, and still have no idea of what happened. I’ve always thought there was something a bit off about Sunset too, like she’s hiding something from me.”
Pinkie gasped once more, this time slapping a hand over her mouth. “You mean she hasn’t told you?” she sputtered out as she pulled her hand away. I shook my head and huffed in annoyance. “Sunset Shimmer used to be a major meanie. We all hated her. Oh, oh, oh, and she turned into this evil monster, demon thing…” her eyes grew wide, and both of her hands cupped over her mouth.
“Uh… what?” I mumbled, completely confused as I shook my head, attempting to run the scenario through my head.
“Oh gosh!” Pinkie gasped as she pulled away her hands. “I really, really shouldn’t have said that. I just got excited… but I guess we never did make a Pinkie promise about that… but still, if she hasn’t told you yet, I don’t think she wanted me to either. I won’t say anymore, but that is totally the reason for all of this!”
“It… is?”
“Yes, silly! You’ve only gotten to know the new her, and she’s afraid to tell you about the old her. Get it? She knows she has to tell you, but she thinks that if she does, you’ll judge her by the past instead of who she is now. She’s just trying to avoid the subject ever coming up.”
“I’m still really confused, what do you mean that she used to be mean and evil and stuff?”
She pouted and shook her head in response. “Can’t say, I’ve already said way too much. She has to be the one to tell you. You just have to get her to start talking.”
“But how do I do that? She hasn’t talked to me in days.”
“It’s simple,” Pinkie said, and utterly failed at attempting to make a serious face. “You just act serious and say,” her tone of voice grew deeper and more stern, “we need to talk.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, the tone and expression not fitting her bubbly personality at all. “Okay, I guess I’ll give it a try.”
“It’ll totally be worth it, trust me. Oh, also, the sooner you do it, the better. Tomorrow is perfect.”
“Tomorrow, why?”
“Duh, because you have tonight to plan it out and think about it for a bit, but you don’t have too much time so that you overthink it and get all nervous and hesitant and end up never ever doing it.”
Although I would have explained it a bit differently myself, I knew she was right. I always tended to overthink everything that I did. The sooner I figured out my situation with Sunset and got my question answered, the better.
I awoke the next morning already dreading my decision and the day before me. I knew I had to have my discussion with Sunset, but was unsure of when the right time would be. The only times during the day that I encountered her were at lunch and our math class. I was sure she would be as hesitant about speaking her mind as I was around everyone else at the table during our meal; so that option was no good. During a class would not be the best of times either. We both weren’t the greatest at math and needed to focus on the notes that were being given. Besides, I was sure the teacher wouldn’t appreciate a constant whispering between the two of us. Either before or after school seemed to be my only options, but I was unsure of how I could convince her to meet me.
As per my usual routine, I took a seat upon my favorite bench. I was still completely indecisive about how I should handle my situation with Sunset. I could text her, ask her to meet me there, and hope that she would show up. I could head inside and attempt to find her amongst the crowd, giving her no chance of escape. With my head aching from the multiple thoughts, my heart pounding, and my lungs breathless from nerves, the only option I could see myself accomplishing was waiting until after school. I felt it was the wrong decision, as Pinkie said, the sooner the better. Though I could not bring myself to do it so soon. I already lost what little motivation I had, believing that all of my panic would be for nothing.
Before I was given the slightest chance to muster up at least a small amount of my courage, the bell rang. I sighed with relief, for once in practically my whole scholarly career, I was glad it was time for class. Sitting on an uncomfortable chair in a warm room while the teacher droned on about the lesson of the day meant safety. All I would have to worry about was making sure I scribbled down what I needed to know and finishing my homework.
***
Lunch came around all too soon. Before I had the chance to develop any form of a plan, I was sitting in my usual chair beside Sunset Shimmer. Both of us were completely and utterly silent as we nibbled at our food. The only reason we could be considered a part of the group conversation was because we were listening intently and nodding our heads, attempting to forget that we were next to one another.
Every now and again when I looked up, I began to notice Pinkie making rather stern faces at me. I pretended to be clueless, and respond with a raised eyebrow, tilted head, or a shrug. In reality, I knew exactly what she was trying to get at. She was urging me to speak with Sunset, no matter the subject. It was for the simple hope that we would start talking again.
After a few more minutes of thought, with my heart pounding heavily once more, I made the decision to speak. “Hey, uh… Sunset?” I was surprised that she actually put in the effort to turn her head in my direction, but suddenly, I felt as though I was shoved beneath a spotlight. As I spoke, the others grew silent and turned their heads as well. “Uh…” I mumbled growing more nervous by the second. “H-how are you? Any reason you, you know, have been so quiet?” A deep, trembling frown appeared on her lips as she turned away, looking down at her food. The others looked away awkwardly, and attempted to start up their conversation once more.
Even if she was not speaking, I still had to tell her what I needed to say. I wanted to give up, but knew I couldn’t. “Look… I really need to talk to you. I’m not sure if you just hate me now, or you’re afraid, but we have to talk.” I was surprised to see her give a slight nod. “I know right now isn’t a good time, but after school maybe?”
“Meet outside?” she mumbled. My stomach began to flutter; they may not have been the best words to ever come out of her mouth, but they were the first I had heard directed at me in quite some time.
“…Yeah, okay.”
***
As the bell signaling the end of the school day rang, I immediately began to wonder whether or not I would actually find Sunset outside. My bag already packed, I stood up, slung it over my shoulders, and hoped for the best as I exited the room and made my down the hall. I quickly fell into flow with the many other students that moved towards the exit.
As I made my way outside, I squinted in the bright sunlight. I allowed my eyes to fully adjust before I scanned for Sunset. As I made my way down the steps, I realized that she leaned against the large statue of a horse in the center of the lawn. They were the Canterlot Wondercolts after all. The statue still seemed rather odd, making me wonder why exactly horses were such an important figure in the town. There was no time to for those kinds of thoughts though. Sunset Shimmer had actually decided to meet up with me.
A worried look appeared on her face as I approached. I had never seen her so nervous, so afraid. Her small mouth trembled softly and her eyes glimmered with fear. “H-hey,” she muttered, choking up. “You wanted to talk?”
I nodded my head softly, unsure of exactly how to begin. “Yeah… I do.” I could feel my cheeks growing warmer and warmer as the words pieced themselves together in my mind. “Look… I, uh, really like you, and I want us to be more than just friends. I have a feeling you do too, but there’s something holding you back, isn’t there?” She nodded her head, a soft whimper escaping her mouth as she grimaced. “The reason you’ve been avoiding me is because you’re trying to hide it.”
“Mhm,” she muttered then swallowed.
“The only way that this is ever going to work is if you just tell me, and trust me, I really want us to work.”
I watched as tears streamed down Sunset’s face before she was able to cover it up with cupped hands. Her back hit the base of the statue with a soft thump before she collapsed to the ground, sobbing. I could feel myself beginning to tear up at the sight. I was sure that I had never seen anyone in such a wretched state. “It won’t work… because once you know the truth, you won’t feel the way you do about me now. You probably won’t ever want to be around me again.”
I knelt down upon my knees before her and grasped my hands firmly around her shoulders, wanting to provide her with as much comfort as possible. “Hey, it’s okay. That won’t happen. I promise,” I cooed softly as I moved one had down her arm and grasped her own while I brushed the other through her silky hair. “Sunset… please tell me. I don’t think you realize how l long I’ve waited to hear your side of the story, the full story. All I’ve gotten so far is hints, hints I have a hard time believing.”
“It won’t be okay,” she whimpered. She sniffled as she attempted to wipe away her tears with her free hand. “But you’re right, I can’t keep something like this from you. You need to know. It’s wrong of me to hide it.”
“Yeah,” I said with a nod as she took a few deep breaths in preparation. “Thank you for doing this, it means a lot, and I’m sure it’ll help.”
She huffed in response as if to tell me that my statement was a lie. She let her fierce eyes fall shut for a moment of preparation. Deep breaths escaped her lips as she wiped away the few remaining tears which hung from her long eyelashes. As her eyes blinked open, I could tell she was in a much calmer, or at least much more focused state. “Before we start this, I just want you to know that the Sunset Shimmer you know is who I really am. You may have a hard time believing it after what I tell you, but none of what I’ve said to you or the way I’ve acted around you is fake. Please promise me that you understand that.”
I nodded my head softly. “I promise,” I mumbled, gazing at her intently as I awaited what was to come.
“Okay, here goes… I used to not be anything like I am now. I was infamous here at CHS. I was loved by some, feared by others, and hated by many, but I was the most popular girl here. Absolutely everyone knew my name, and that I ran the school. I guess not much has changed, except me… and the fact that I’m hated by everyone and probably the least popular girl in existence. I don’t care though, I deserve it. I was a… a b****!” she grumbled between clenched teeth, pounding a fist into the cement. “The meanest, cruelest, most horrible person you’d ever know. Everyone still thinks I am… I’ve tried to show them that I’m not, but they won’t listen. They don’t pay attention to all the changes I’ve made. I try to help, be a good girl, do what I should, make up for what I used to be, but I never get rewarded. I guess I do deserve it though. I just wish that someone would accept me for who I am, not think I’m who I used to be… and the girls, I feel like the only reason they let me hang around them is because Twilight told them to.”
“Twilight?” I questioned, never before hearing the name.
“Twilight comes from my world. She helped save me; she was kind to me even after everything that I’d done to her. I stole her crown… tried to take over all of CHS and then lead my minions into Equestria to overtake it.”
I shook my head, my eyes growing wide as I tried to figure out whether or not she had suddenly gone mad. Equestria, minions, taking over, it sounded like the plot to some poorly written movie. “…Wha?” I finally muttered out, my forehead wrinkling in thought.
“I’m not from this world originally. I was once Celestia’s student in Equestria… but I was too eager. She had to let me go. I didn’t understand that. I got jealous when Twilight gained the title of princess. That was supposed to be me! …At least that’s what I thought, but Princess Celestia was so right. I’m a failure, but I at least want to make up for what I did. I stole Twilight’s crown, brought Equestrian magic into this world… and I… if Twilight wouldn’t have defeated me… saved me, I would still be a monster.”
I began to laugh, believing she was trying to add some form of humor into her story to break away from the drama. “Ha… very funny, I’ve heard people call you a monster before, you’re going off of that aren’t you? Making this into some weird fantasy story?”
Her hand squeezed tightly at my own as she gazed sternly into my eyes. “I’m serious.”
“I… huh? What? I mean…. you… that’s not even possible… it makes no sense.” I struggled to find words, immediately spatting them out when they came to mind even if they didn’t make any sense. Two soft, slender, and trembling fingers were placed upon my lips to stop me from speaking.
“Someone caught it all on video. If you see it, you’ll believe me.” She released her grasp around my hand and quickly retrieved a laptop from her bag. I sat closely beside her so I could view the screen. I watched as she pulled up a video which she had saved. She sucked in a deep breath as her mouse hovered over the play button at the center of the screen. I could tell that she was afraid to relive such a moment. She looked down in shame as it began to play.
The video started with what looked to be a passerby struggling with his phone as he recorded from an angle which seemed to be across the street from Canterlot High School. Although the quality was horrible, the phone had a surprisingly large zoom ability. I witnessed what seemed to be a rather evil looking Sunset rambling on about something to the other girls along with one who I hadn’t seen before, probably Twilight, as she held a golden crown in her hand.
As she placed it upon her head, clouds gathered in the sky and a strange, powerful beam of blue-green light beamed down upon her. She was lifted into the air by its energy. After a few moments the beam disappeared and in Sunset’s place was some kind of large demon-like creature. The two boys which had been standing by her side had also changed into smaller forms of whatever the creature was. She levitated in the air by flapping large bat-like wings which had appeared on her back. It had to be fake, it wasn’t at all possible.
I watched in awe, completely glued to the screen as the film progressed. I witnessed an army of zombie CHS students which seemed to be possessed by her, their eyes glowing a ghostly green. I then watched as the other girls along with Twilight put their hands together and were suddenly lifted into the air as well. Their eyes glowed a bright white as equine ears replaced their own and their hair grew into extra-long ponytails, a few of them even sprouting wings. Then there was an explosion of rainbow which transformed into a colorful tornado around the demon Sunset Shimmer. The camera began to shake with the power imitating from the magical rainbow, and suddenly with a flash it was all over. There was a large hole in the earth, smoke snaking away from its edges. Sunset paused the video before I could see anything more.
“That’s, uh, fake right? You and the girls did it for a movie project or something, like a film class? It’s just…really, really, really well done?” I managed to push out, unable to accept the fact that such an event was real.
Sunset sighed in defeat, once again bowing her head in shame. “It’s all real. Ask any of the girls… anyone in the school, actually. This is exactly the reason why they all act so… bitter around me. I tried to enslave them… all of them.”
“I… uh…” I whispered, my mind set afire with thoughts. I could barely comprehend the fact that the girl I was in love with was once a monster, a literal monster. It was even harder to wrap my head around the aspect of there being more than one world, a world that should be the setting of a fantasy novel. There was magic from said world in my world, and I had no idea how to react. I could think of nothing to say, had no clue how to respond, and was unsure of everything. I was unable to function.
“I understand…” Sunset whimpered as she rose to her feet, tears dripping from her eyes. “I told you this wouldn’t help… it just ruined everything!” She began to sob, tears streaming over her cheeks and dripping down to the cool pavement beneath. “You were perfect for me, but I’m not good enough for anyone. I know I deserve it but… but…”
“Sunset, please,” I pleaded grabbing her hand and pulling her back down beside me. I couldn’t bear to see her in such a state. I could feel the warmth of tears trickling down my face as well. I had promised her that I would think of her as she truly was, the beautiful, sweet, and caring Sunset Shimmer I had met my first day at CHS. The girl I fell for. Her past didn’t matter. Even if she was once a monster, even if she was from some other magical world, she was still herself. I wrapped my hand around her shoulders and pulled her close. “It’s gonna be kind of hard for me to get used to all this weird other universe, magic, and stuff, but that doesn’t mean I’m not in love with you…” I blushed immediately, realizing the words that had slipped from my mouth.
“Love… me?” she asked, her face growing red. “I… I love you too.” I felt her fingers slip between my own as she grasped my hand, and used her other arm to pull me into a rather awkward embrace as we were still seated.
“That demon-thing isn’t who you are anymore,” I asserted, squeezing her hand tightly. “When I met you, I was sure you were the most amazing girl I’d seen. You’ve made me the happiest guy in the world, you actually care about me, and no matter what, I always have fun with you… I mean, besides when you weren’t talking to me.”
She began to tear up once more, and I used my finger to aid in brushing away her tears. “I’m sorry for all of that. I should’ve realized that such a good guy like you would understand. I was just afraid of losing you. Like I said, you’re a perfect match… or at least I think so.”
“You’re perfect too,” I cooed lovingly, my face growing red. Turning to me, she wrapped her arms around my back and gazed at me with her beautiful oceanic eyes. Although slightly strained from her tears, they glimmered with both joy and hope. In response, I wrapped my arms around her slender waist as I gazed back.
My heart pounded heavily as her eyes fell shut; I knew exactly what she was planning. I tilted my head slightly to the right and aimed for her lips. I closed my eyes as well, and leaned in with her. It felt as if my heart was about to explode from my chest as her soft, plump lips pressed down upon my own. Out of pure anxiety, I attempted to pull away, but she wanted more.
My body began to shiver as her hand moved up to the back of my head, locking me into the kiss as she gently stroked her fingers through my hair. My eyes blinked open at the sound of footsteps, and I watched as a group of students passed by, staring at the sight we had created in disgust. I had no reason to care. I didn’t know them, and they didn’t know Sunset the way I did. I loved her and that was all that mattered.
She broke away from the kiss with a dreamy sigh, a joyous and confident smirk on her lips. She wrapped her hands around both of mine and swayed our arms back and forth. “We should do that more often,” she said with a giggle.
“Sure thing,” I cooed, still completely entranced by the new experience. “…I love you,” I muttered shyly, wondering if I’d already said those words enough.
She responded with a chipper grin. “Love you too.” I knew those words were reserved for relationships which had lasted a long length of time, but I suspected that ours would last, and felt quite comfortable saying what I felt; it seemed as though she did too.
“So you’re really going to have to tell me about this other world you come from. You can leave out the bad stuff if you want. I’m just curious about who I’m dating. It’s like I barely even know you… are you even human, really?” I examined her curiously.
“Yeah, we need to fix that. Why don’t I come over again and I’ll tell you all about Equestria. In return, you get to tell me all about you. I don’t really know you all that well either.” In reality, she truly didn’t. I never recalled I time before then that I had spoken to her about myself. “…Oh, and to answer your question, I’m actually a pony.”
“A… pony?” I muttered to which she giggled and nodded her head.
That night was one of the strangest I had ever experienced. As we cuddled closely upon my bed, I learned of a world filled with magic, rainbows, and talking horses; a world that one day I hoped to visit with my pony girlfriend. She was certainly different, literally out of my world, but I guess I wasn’t that normal either. We were the perfect match. What we had and who she was would certainly take some getting used to, but I was willing to put in both the time and effort to be with her.
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