It was the first practice of the season, and the day the team would meet their new coach. It had just got done raining about an hour before the team had arrived at the field.  The boys had been shooting balls on the net for about 40 minutes now, since there had been no sign of the coach.  Practice was supposed to start 25 minutes ago.

“Are we even getting a new coach?” Asked Player #2.

“I’m honestly not sure.  If it was my first day on a new job, I’d try to be extra early and make a good impression.  This definitely doesn’t make them look very responsible,” responded Player #3. 

About Seven minutes later, a small white car pulled into the parking lot.  A short, chubby woman with short brown hair stepped out of the vehicle.  She grabbed two bags out of the back of her car, one containing about 6 or 7 soccer balls, and the other had unknown contents.  The woman walked over to the team and dropped the bags, and in the squeakiest voice you’ll ever hear, she yelled, ”Over here boys!” Instantly, all of the players ran over to the woman, eager to meet their new coach.

”Let’s hope she knows what she’s doing. I can just feel it in by bones that this will be a good season,” said Player #4.

”Yeah, I heard a rumor that she played semi-pro when he was only 11,” replied Player #1.

Once all the players were around the new coach, in a weird accent she said, ”Hello, my name is Gretchen, and I am your new soccer coach.  You can call me Coach Gretchen.  I’m from Wales, and I played semi-professional at the age of 11.  Got to represent for Wales.”Gretchen then pointed at Player #3.”You there, throw that granola bar away and give me a lap around the field, you should be eating at least an hour before you begin any physical activities!  Come on boys!  This is a commonly known fact!”

After Player #3 was done running, he was immediately slapped in the face with Coach Gretchen’s words again.          

“Alright, all of you on the line, I want you all to run down to the other end of the field and back two times.  “Go!” Shouted Coach Gretchen.

“Why are we doing conditioning already?” Questioned Player #6.

“I don’t know, but I already don’t like this coach.  I’d expect the first practice of the season to be more laid back,” answered Player #4.

“I quit!” Exploded Player #3. “I’m not going to take any of this garbage.  I can’t eat less that an hour before practice?  That is literally the dumbest thing.  Not to mention her voice sounds like a dying baby bird.  I just can’t stand this lady!”

Player #3 got his things together and walked off of the field and drove home. Once Player #3 left, Player #9 also left. “Honestly he’s probably right, if this is how the coach is acting the first practice, there’s no way this will be a good season, we’re all better off doing other things or joining other sports.”

After the players were done running, the coach said, “Ok, now we are doing a new drill that will be good for all of you, also what happened to my other two players that were here?”

“They quit,”said Player #5.

“Good,” said Coach Gretchen,”If they can’t handle the heat I don’t want them on my field anyway.  I can’t believe those babies couldn’t complete a simple running drill.  They obviously don’t know the game of soccer.  Now listen to me while I explain the new drill.”

Coach Gretchen then took a solid 15 minutes to explain the overcomplicated drill, and lecture the players about how she knows what she’s doing.  Once the lecture was over Player #2, Player #14, Player #16, Player #17, and Player #21, had all quit, and left the field.  Only 15 of the original 22 players hadn’t left practice yet.

Three minutes into the drill and Player #1 and Player #11 had also quit.

“This drill isn’t helping us get better at anything.  It’s just a waste of time and energy,” grumbled Player #1.

“Couldn’t be any more true.  Not going to lie, any player that still has hope in this coach is just stupid.  I was really looking forward to this soccer season but this is just pathetic!” Exclaimed Player #11.

“Hey guys!” Shouted a voice from across the parking lot.

“Hey Player #22!  How was your family vacation?” Asked Player #11.

“It was really fun, and the food was great.  Hey why are you guys leaving already?” Said Player #22.

“The coach is an absolute moron.  She’s already chirping us for the smallest things like eating granola bars and not doing the drill correctly,”said Player #1.

“Well I have to see this for myself,”said Player #22,”If it’s really as bad as you say it is I’m going to join football instead.  See you guys!”

“Bye!” Shouted Player #1 and Player #11 at the same time.

“Hey guys sorry I was late, our flight was delayed an hour,” Said Player #22

“Give me two laps, if you think your fancy little vacation is more important than my practice you’ve got another thing coming!  Let’s get one thing straight!  I am in charge here!  When I say ‘listen,’ you listen!  When I say ‘jump,’ you ask ‘how high?’ When I say ‘run,’ you ask ‘what lines?’” Exploded Coach Gretchen. 

“Okay Mrs. Negativity!” Shot back Player #22

Immediately after that, the rest of the team left practice, while Coach Gretchen was still a raging volcano of negativity and hatred.  All 22 players were fed up with the new coach’s attitude, and there was no longer a team or and there was no longer a coach.  The whole experience for everyone had been ruined, no one smiled that day, no laughter was shared, no one improved.  Everyone just felt bad.  And it was all because of Mrs. Negativity.