There was uproar in the crowd as they watched Pebbles’ disappear into the forest. The Magical Baboon meanwhile clutched at the naked skin where his magnificent gold plated eyebrows had been just minutes before. His mind was in turmoil, he pawed and screamed out his pain and fury to his half dozen unicorns and majestic chariot. The public watched in stunned silence as their great and powerful leading seemingly deteriorated before their very eyes, tearing at his glorious clothing and throwing himself on the sides of his majestic chariot.

“Magical Baboon!!!” one of the crowd shouted, “You’re hurting yourself!!! Someone stop him!”
But as the slow and rather uninspired lot they were, no one moved to stop their great and powerful leader and stood, watching the show in silence.
After an hour of a rather embarrassing public panic attack, the Magical Baboon finally came to  his senses and realized the mess that he had made of his kingly being,: his clothes were torn, head bloodied, and most importantly gold-plated eyebrows missing from his beautiful face. He looked out into the crowd, hearing their hushed whispers about his embarrassing show. Immediately he ordered his chariot and half dozen unicorns to return to his magnificent diamond encrusted palace. As his ride galloped back to his lair, the Magical Baboon pondered his options, thinking back to 725 years ago when everything began...

The Magical Baboon was still a young man, and not a baboon, in his youth as he wandered through the jungles of the world searching for the secrets of life and the meaning of the world. On one fateful day during the journeys of his youth, the Magical Baboon came upon a cave in a rock filled with crystallized pinecones covered in glitter. The Magical Baboon was elated. He believed he had just found the secret entrance to the heavens! He jumped into the cave and burrowed his body into the crystallized pinecones covered in glitter but no matter how long and how far he crawled, the entrance to the cave was still right behind him.  Suddenly just as he was about to give up and find another cave in a rock filled with something fantastically magical, the Magical Baboon spotted a bright flash of movement out of the corner of his eye.  Then again, closer this time.  And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.  And faster. And faster. And brighter. And brighter until the entire cave was filled with the flashing of what seemed like a thousand exploding fireworks. The Magical Baboon was going crazy from all the flashing of light, his brain spinning, eyes out of focus, vomiting continuously across the cave. Just as the Magical Baboon was about to pass out, the flashing stopped and all was quiet in the cave in a rock filled with crystallized pinecones covered in glitter.

Slowly the Magical Baboon opened his bleary eyes to behold a marvelous sight. A magnificent squirrel dressed in flowing white robes descended from the ceiling surrounded by a heavenly golden aura. The Magical Baboon stared in awe at the incredible sight of this Golden Squirrel as he touched the ground and slowly opened his eyes. As the golden glow slowly faded from the cave, the Golden Squirrel’s face was revealed: skin wrinkled and sagging, eyes old and tired, yet upon his forehead rested two magnificent gold plated eyebrows, capturing the attention of the Magical Baboon. It also became apparent that the Golden Squirrel was not originally a squirrel but a man, and that his current appearance was simply a side effect of extreme old age. Then the Golden Squirrel spoke in a deep booming voice, “You there, lying on top of my crystallized pinecones covered in your own vomit, how did you survive my flashing lights of doom? A normal person would have been killed by their brilliance.”
“Blerghhhh. Popocrabbbbb. Pepperzzz,” the Magical Baboon groaned from his position splattered across the layer of glittering pinecones, his mind still spinning from the flashing lights, “Blerghhhhh.”
“What is this mystical language you speak?” asked the Golden Squirrel, “Are you a powerful sorcerer of some sort?“
“Hooooooooo,” groaned the Magical Baboon, eyes rolling and tongue hanging out, pointing a finger towards the Golden Squirrel’s gold plated eyebrows, “Hoo hoo oo Purdeeezzz.”
The Golden Squirrel let out a fearful squeal and threw himself to the Magical Baboon’s feet, “Great and powerful sorcerer from the heavens,” he screamed, “Please don’t curse me! Put your finger down!!!! I don’t want to die!!!”
“Groooosss ayyyyy broooow oo,” the Magical Baboon continued to groan in his retarded stupor and pointed at the magnificent gold-plated eyebrows.
“Ahh hhh please don’t hurt me!!!” the Golden Squirrel cried, ripping off his gold plated eyebrows and flinging them at the Magical Baboon, “Here, you can have them!!!! Just please don’t curse me with your mighty sorcerer powers!!!” And with that the Golden Squirrel fled, white robes billowing behind him, deep into the forest never to be seen or heard from again for the next 692 years.
The Magical Baboon slowly crawled over to where the gold plated eyebrows lay and admired their beauty. Basking in their golden aura, the Magical Baboon slowly attached the golden eyebrows to his own face. At once the Magical Baboon felt rejuvenated. He felt that all of life’s secrets had been revealed to him and the meaning of the universe was now clear!  He felt fantastic! He felt like the most important person in the universe! The Magical Baboon leapt to his feet and attempted to clean himself, dusting off the glitter from the crystallized pinecones and scraping at the dried vomit on his shirt. “I feel alive,” he declared, “I’m going to be the King of a village!” And that’s what he did. He left the cave in a rock and journeyed back towards civilization, eventually becoming the king of Baboonia, a small town located in the middle of a bunch of other larger ghetto towns.
The Magical Baboon’s half dozen unicorns and magnificent chariot arrived at his majesty's diamond encrusted palace where upon arrival the Magical Baboon promptly locked himself inside his room. “What am I going to do? My gold plated eyebrows were the key to my power! Without them I am nothing! The people will find out that I’m a fraud and stone me to death!” he ranted pacing back and forth across his floor made of pure gold. “What can I do? I can’t let anyone see me like this, so weak and powerless! What will they think of me! I must leave this place immediately!!”
And with that Magical Baboon began frantically to pack his bags, bringing only his necessities including his silk bathrobe and porcelain tea set. When all was packed and ready, the Magical Baboon took one last look around his beautiful room with its golden floors and diamond ceiling, opened the door, and left his magnificent diamond encrusted palace for good. He rode out through a secret side street in a normal wagon piled high with all of his belonging, pulled by half a dozen normal horses and set out for the outskirts of the world fully prepared to never return to Baboonia again.

Pebbles raced through the dark forest, gold plated eyebrows clutched in her hand, their golden aura lighting her way.  Thorns and other vegetation tore at her clothes and skin but her primitive mind didn’t care. All that mattered was to get away from the mean people and that scary monkey who wanted to take away the shiny things and her newfound happiness. Pebbles didn’t like mean people and she especially didn’t like mean monkey people with big red butts. She scowled. “Ugly monkey so mean,” she thought to herself, “so ugly and so mean.”
Pebbles’ pace slowed to a walk as she continued on her way through the forest, not knowing where she was going but not caring either. As long as she got away with the shiny things, she was happy and content. She walked along the worn path of the forest, darkness slowly descended on the forest. Owls hooted from the tall trees dark with shadows, numerous bats flew overhead. The entire forest creaked and groaned while the wind whipped through the trees. Pebbles however, being the idiot that she was, didn’t notice any of this ominous feeling in the air as she unknowingly approached the front gates of one of the meanest and most ghetto of the larger ghetto towns surrounding the nice town of Baboonia. Pebbles was approaching the most dreaded and most ghetto town in all of the land... Ghettonia.    
The tall iron gates of Ghettonia slowly came into view as Pebbles made her way through the dark brown leaves of the creepy forest.  Loud noises and shouting mixed with smoke and rose from within the city gates. The entire city exuded an evil aura that promised death to anyone who dared enter. Signs of life leaked from the gaps in the gates, screams and shouts, a general feeling of chaos and destruction. Pebbles however didn’t see the black, sharp-tipped gates as scary at all. All she knew was gates meant people and people meant food. Pebbles was hungry for food! Her pace slowed and stopped as she approached the towering gates and pounded on the door. “I’m Pebbles!” she announced but there was no reply. She banged on the door again, “I’m hungryyyy. Hungryyy. I hungry for food. Feed me!” she screamed but no one heard her. She could still hear the people screaming and kicking within the city gates. She heard people say things like, “Gah! I’m going to kill you!!!” and “I have so many drugs to sell to you!” These voices rather than scaring Pebbles away, drew her in and made her even more desperate to get inside the city.
    After repeated banging and screaming at the door, Pebbles decided to call it a night and dig herself a home in the form of a tunnel under a rock next to the gates of Ghettonia. It was late night now as she sunk her teeth into the earth and began the long and painful process of tunneling a home in the hard packed dirt. Pebbles dug for almost three hours and by early morning had finally dug a tunnel big enough for her to sleep in. She crawled into her nest and was out cold in an instant, gold-plated eyebrows clutched in her hands.
It seemed like Pebbles had just fallen asleep when she was awoken by a pile of dust collapsing onto her face. She bolted upright in fear as rumbling filled her home. The entire tunnel under a rock next to the gates of Ghettonia shook as if there were an earthquake mixed with a tornado. Dust crashed down from the ceiling making it impossible to breathe. Pebbles freaked out. She whipped her head through the still dark cave, looking to escape from the entrance of the tunnel only to find that it had been completely filled with dirt. Pebbles’ survival instincts were in full gear now as she tried to find an escape route. In one last desperate move, she decided that the only way out was to dig a new path to life and that’s what she did.  She stuffed the gold-plated eyebrows into her pockets and clawed her way up through the piles of earth that were filling the tunnel, choking and gasping for air. dirt swirled in the little space that was left, the walls of the tunnel closing in fast. Just when Pebbles thought that she was going to die, she broke through the surface of the ground and hauled herself out of her deadly tunnel under a rock next to the gates of Ghettonia.
As the dust cleared, Pebbles slowly got up from where she been laying for the last 10 minutes,choking and clawing at her burning throat and lungs, wiped her eyes of the clotted dust and looked around. To her amazement she was inside the city gates! The air was foul, buildings were crumbling, and evil radiated from every street corner, yet Pebbles was unfazed. She had tunneled her way into Ghettonia! Pebbles couldn’t be more pleased with herself at this great accomplishment. She could finally get some food!  Pebbles watched the people as they went about their business, fighting with their neighbors and setting things on fire. The people here seemed a little strange to her. They were much bigger, much hairier and much fouler than the people in Baboonia. It was almost as if they were an entire different species. Despite her suspicions, she decided that these things were people and she could not imagine a better place to wake up. Just then her stomach growled reminding her of why she came here in the first place. Pebbles hadn’t eaten in over 3 days. She was going to die if she didn’t eat soon. Death was definitely not on Pebbles’ agenda for the day, so she stuck her head into the wind, sniffed the air, and set out in search of food.
Pebbles sniffed at the air, following her nose down the crowded and chaotic road to a run-down building with a crusty homemade sign saying “restaurant”. Anyone with even an ounce of brain power would have avoided this so called “restaurant”. The crude wooden building smelled like dead animals and the patrons inside, both male and female, looked like big hairy beasts of the wild. All of them scowled, and looked like they were looking for someone or something to kill with their baby cow sized calves and dangling armpit hairs. Pebbles, being the idiot that she was, didn’t notice that she was in danger the moment she opened the creaky wooden door and stepped foot into the building. She didn’t notice the people inside menacingly surround her ever so slightly as she sat down. She didn’t even notice the cashier pull out a knife and flash his crooked yellow teeth at her maliciously.
The people inside the restaurant however definitely noticed Pebbles as she walked in.
“What do we have here,” the cashier, who was also the owner, said to a customer, “a nice piece of meat just waiting for me to butcher it.”
Licking his lips the customer replied, “That meat does look tasty. It’s so stupid too, walking in here by itself. Who does it think we are? A soup kitchen?”
“I thinks it’s about time some fresh meat came in,” said the cashier, “We’re running out of rat carcasses in the kitchen. Let me take care of this.” He swung his body over the rickety counter and stalked towards Pebbles, knife ready for the kill.
“Stop!”  the customer said quietly, catching the cashier’s arm, “You can’t just kill it out in the open! What if its people come to get revenge? You never know where someone comes from.”
‘’Well what do you want to do?” the cashier replied irritably, “I’m not waiting around for the meat to find a way to escape."
The customer began thinking of a plan, “I know! Serve her the most expensive food in the menu and when she can’t pay, you can kill her as payment for her debts.”
“Brilliant!” said the cashier, “All you idiot just standing around over there! Cover the doors and surround her closer to make sure our food doesn’t get away!”
Pebbles, oblivious to all of this, walked naïvely into the restaurant planning on getting some food to eat. She sat down at a table and was immediately approach by the cashier with the knife in his hand. Pebbles was happy to see that he was “smiling” at her.
“Hellooo! Pebbles be hungry and be wants food now,” she told the cashier who continued to grin at her.
“Yes. Yes. I am the cashier. We have some very good food right now. I will bring you the best on our menu!” the cashier replied in a sickly sweet voice, “Always treat every meal like it’s your last!” With that he disappeared into the kitchen.
Pebbles was excited now. She felt so lucky to find this fantastic restaurant with such welcoming people who gave such fantastic advice. She felt blessed and it was all because of the magical gold-plated eyebrows in her pocket. With those, Pebbles was unstoppable!
“Hey,” the customer said to the cashier who was busy grilling up the rat carcasses in the back kitchen, “You ready!”
“Yeahhhh!!!!” the cashier bellowed and slammed down the pan, “I’m so ready to eat something other than rat carcasses!!!”
“Yeahhhh!!!!” the customer screamed.
“Yeahhh!!!” the cashier screamed back and burst through the doors leading to the dining area, grilled rat carcasses perched on a platter atop his hand.
Pebbles meanwhile was starting to notice that the restaurant seemed a little crowded, especially around her. However all was forgotten when the happy cashier returned with her food and placed it on her table. Pebbles dug in immediately and was stupidly unaware of the throng of people that were now closing in on her from all sides including the happy cashier with the knife in his hand. She ate and ate, picking the bones clean and then some. Finally she was finished and sat back in her seat enjoying life.
The crowd meanwhile had been growing impatient with watching Pebbles eat. Knuckles were cracking and muscles were being stretched, anxious to get on with the plan and feed their appetites for not only food, but for violence. By the conclusion of Pebbles’ meal, they seemed ready to explode.
The cashier approached Pebbles with a gigantic grin on his face and said, “I think it is time you pay your bill. It will be $529,834,950,349.00 plus tax and a 99% tip. Please leave the money on the table.”
Instead of the shocked reaction the crowd expected, Pebbles leaned back and casually pulled out the gold-plated eyebrows. “I have these gold-plated eyebrows. Lemme pluck a few hairs to pay you,” she replied easily not bothering to look at the monstrous people who surrounded her, eyeing the eyebrows in greed.
They whispered amongst themselves, “Let’s get those shiny things!”
“Yeahh! I don’t even care what happens, the shiny things will give us magical powers!”
“Let’s go!” they cried and they pounced on Pebbles who looked up just in time to see 23 hairy beasts launch themselves at her most prized possessions.
Again Pebbles’ survival instincts kicked in to save her happiness from the clutches of the evil beasts! Time slowed down and Pebbles racked her tiny brain for a way out of the situation. She could see the monstrous creatures in mid-leap but had no way to escape with both her life and her most prized possessions. She couldn’t bear to live without either one. As they drew closer, Pebbles suddenly had a small rare spurt of intelligence. The only way out was to eat the gold-plated eyebrows so the beasts wouldn’t be able to take them and hope that their powers would be enough to protect her.
Gulp. Gulp. And the eyebrows were gone just as the greedy mob fell on top of her and started beating her up.
“Give us the shiny things,” they shouted between punches.
Pebbles just stayed silent watching all the fists and feet fly at her, waiting for them to stop. She was surprised to find that nothing really hurt except her head which was strangely throbbing at the moment. Pebbles had never had a headache before. As the beating went on, the pain in her head grew to an almost unbearable point. It was blindingly painful. It felt like there was something inside her head that was trying to get out. The pressure built in her head like a balloon ready to burst. Pebbles felt like this was the end and began desperately clawing at her ears to relieve the pain and the pressure. Just as Pebbles was sure to pass out, a handful of pebbles fell out of her ears and everything went dark…
After a while, the attackers finally noticed that their meat didn’t seem to be moving anymore and was just lying limply on the ground.
“Hey! I think we killed her!” one of the beastly attackers said.
“Naw man. I think she’s just knocked out. She’s still kind of breathing,” replied another and smacked Pebbles across the face.
“Whatever. Search her for the shiny things,” said another but they couldn’t find the gold-plated eyebrows. They searched everywhere, in her hair, pockets, toenails but the shiny things were nowhere to be seen.
“Yo dude. What if she ate them? She probably ate them. She ate them,” said a customer
“Yeah man I think she did eat them. What do we do?” another customer asked the cashier.
“Well, if she actually ate them then I guess we’re going to have to keep her alive and wait for her to poop them out,” replied the cashier
“Oh okay. That’s smart. Let’s put her in the back storage room with a bucket.”
“Yeah.” They picked up Pebbles’ unconscious form as easily as if it were a piece of tofu and left her in the back room, locking the door behind them.

Pebbles awoke with a groan and a strange feeling in her skull. She slowly propped herself up and flexed her limbs a few times, relieved to find that nothing seemed broken, just a little cramping in her muscles. She looked around the storage room wondering what had happened and where she was. Pebbles couldn’t remember how she had gotten to this creepy place which gave her chills down her spine. The last memory she had was of a science experiment she was doing for the Genius School in her hometown of Fondue, where she attempted to put pebbles in her head to activate a dormant part of her brain.  After that all she could remember was a blur of pain and darkness. She opened her tightly clenched fist to find the pebbles she had put in her head for that science experiment.
Pebbles was growing frantic now. She could feel that this was a place filled with evil and death. She knew she had to get out of here but if she didn’t know where she was and how she had come to be here, she would never be able to escape. So she sat down in a corner, closed her eyes, and concentrated on unlocking her brain. Soon images began flashing before her eyes like hazy fog floating through her mind. Memories of her parents abandoning her when she became mentally disabled, being run out of town because she was too stupid, and after months of wandering eventually making her way into Baboonia where the people were decent enough to let her stay in a tunnel under a rock by the side of the road. She remembered the golden eyebrows and running through the forest. She remembered her temporary tunnel, the restaurant and the evil monsters who wanted to kill her. She opened her eyes and sat up in fear. Pebbles had to escape now before the cashier came back to butcher her and go through her poop! She couldn’t let those monsters take the gold-plated eyebrows before she gave them back to the Magical Baboon!
Pebbles looked around the dim room and was delighted when she spotted a stack of boxes in the corner. She went over and examined them, looking at the nails and type of wood and deemed it possible to use the boxes to make a rocket launcher and bust out of this prison! Excited yet nervous Pebbles got to work, keeping in mind that the cashier and his buddies could burst in any minute to butcher her. She used her super brain power and finished the weapon in less than 30 minutes. Pebbles was always good under pressure. The gold-plated eyebrows in her stomach might have helped speed up the process as well.
All was ready for Pebbles’ escape now. As she picked up the rocket launcher, she could hear voices approaching the room. Pebbles fumbled with the launcher, her heart beating frantically as she aimed at the wall. The voices were growing louder and she could hear the evil in their voices.
“Why the heck didn’t I think of this before!” she heard the cashier say to one of his buddies, “There’s no reason for us to wait for her to poop. Why didn’t we just kill her and cut open her stomach to get the shiny things? So stupid!”
Pebbles heard the key being shoved into the lock just as she shot the rocket through the wall.
               BOOM!! BOOM!!! The flimsy wooden wall exploded in a cloud of dust and debris.
               The cashier and his buddy outside screamed, “What was that!” and they rushed into the room to find their wall obliterated and their prisoner gone. “We can’t let her escape!” they cried and leaped through the hole in the wall in hot pursuit of Pebbles.
               Pebbles however, due to her recently reacquired intelligence, was not running for her life out in the streets of Ghettonia. She knew that once the cashier and his evil buddy came in they would see the hole and give chase. Instead she was still inside the room, covered in dust, disguised as a rock, rocket launcher still in her hand.
               As darkness fell upon the city Pebbles decided that now was the perfect time to sneak away undetected. The monsters had yet to return as she quietly went through the hole in the wall, making her way onto the crime ridden streets. Pebbles snuck carefully through alleyways, watching out for the rats who quite possibly carried rabies and other unpleasant diseases. Every shadow looked like a murderer. Every noise sounded like a footsteps behind her. Pebbles crept through the city, slowly making her way to the city gates, keeping to the shadows like a ghost. The gates of Ghettonia were in sight now, just one more turn and she would be able to escape! Unfortunately lady luck was not on her side tonight. Just as Pebbles turned the last corner, the evil cashier and his buddy appeared looking tired, hungry, and downright dangerous.
               “Well well well. What do we have here? I seems like our little friend has decided to escape,” the cashier said menacingly, “Did you think that you could actually escape from us? Escape from Ghettonia?”
               “Yeah,” said the other one, “Nobody makes it out of here alive.”
               Pebbles however was surprisingly calm. She took one look at the monsters, raised her rocket launcher, and blew them up. The blast however woke up the entire city who can running from their houses to join in on the violence. All of the drug dealer, murderers, robbers, and rapists; foul smelling and sneering. As they neared the scene of the crime they were shocked to find that it was an outsider who caused the fantastic violence. They began to murmur amongst themselves.
               “Who is this goddess of violence and anger?”
               “I don’t know but she’s incredibly evil!”
               “I like her! She killed two people in under a second! Let’s make her our new Queen!”
               “Yeah!!!”
               “YEAH!!!”
               “Hey you!!! You’re going to be our new Queen!!!” they announced excitedly, “Your innate tendency for violence is so honorable. Beyond compare! Please agree to be our new Queen!”
               Pebbles was shocked. How could these savage people want a queen like her? However, her inner goodness would not allow her to turn down this once in a lifetime offer. She could use her new position to change Ghettonia for the better! Unfortunately she still had to return to Baboonia to return the gold-plated eyebrows to the Magical Baboon.
               “Savage people of Ghettonia,” she announced to the eagerly awaiting crowd,” I do have interest in becoming your queen. However I have pressing matters to attend to right now but I will be back soon to serve as queen of Ghettonia!” Pebbles waved the rocket launched high above her head as the crowd went nuts.
               The people of Ghettonia could not believe their good luck! Finally they had a new evil queen, savage and violent; such a perfect fit for the vibe of the city.
               “People of Ghettonia,” Pebbles announced, “I will be leaving now. I hope you see you all soon when I have finished my work.” With the Pebbles walked up to the gate, blasted a hole, and calmly walked through to begin the journey back to Baboonia. The Ghettonians looked on in awe. Such power their new queen possessed! They eagerly awaited her return.

Pebbles journeyed through the dark forest whose evil aura she could now sense thanks to the absence of a handful of pebbles pushing down on her brain. The trees appeared to move, possibly secretly harboring homicidal thoughts. Every rustle sounded like a murderer on the loose. Pebbles however was unafraid, this time because she was now the queen of this part of the forest and the evil spirits here wouldn’t dare touch her. The gold-plated eyebrows were also still in the process of going through her intestines and protecting her from within.
               As she walked through the forest, Pebbles began experiencing some abdominal pains. She started sweating and had to sit down by a tree to steady herself.
               “Oh no,” she thought to herself, “I’m about to poop out the gold-plated eyebrows.”
               Pebbles’ stomach was churning big time now, making weird noises similar to that of cats crying. She squatted in the grass, overwhelmed by a stabbing pain. Pebbles had never felt such pain in her life, not when her parents abandoned her or when the cashier and the evil customers beat her up. This was a new definition of pain, constant and terrible. It made her want to rip out her intestines and smash her face into the dirt. 
               As Pebbles lay there in the grass, writhing in pain, she spotted a squirrel secretly watching her from the tree. At first she thought nothing of it but soon began to realize that something was strange. The squirrel didn’t seem afraid of her and was coming closer and closer. She also noticed that the squirrel was wearing white robes. Pebbles was starting to get a little scared. Her stomach hurt like crazy and now there was a strange squirrel coming towards her. All she could do was hunch over in pain and observe this strange squirrel who was right in front of her now. And then it spoke.
               “Greetings! I have sensed something powerful about you. I would like to be your friend,” the Golden Squirrel said amiably but Pebbles sensed something devious in his voice.
               “Ughhh,” Pebbles groaned. She was unable to form real words due to the pain in her stomach.
               “What was that?” the Golden Squirrel asked in the fakest friend voice ever, “You want to be my friend as well and share all of your worldly possessions with me?”
               “Uhh glurg hhhh uh hhh,” Pebbles groaned in alarm. She had a feeling that this squirrel was looking for something with evil intentions. “Urgh ghhh!!!!”
               “Oh that’s so kind that you want to give me everything you own!” the Golden Squirrel cried in a sickly sweet tone, “I’ll just go through your bag right here and see what I want to take!”
               He grabbed everything out of Pebbles’ bag clearly searching for something and muttering to himself, “I know they’re here somewhere. I can feel their energy but exactly where are they! I was such a fool to give them away in fear so many years ago. Never again will I part with them!” He shuffled through everything, checking every pocket and every crevice but alas what he was searching for was not there. Pebbles meanwhile was very frightened. She knew that he was after the gold plated eyebrows but how did he know that she had them and what would he do if he found out that they were in her intestines? She could feel the vile energy coming from this squirrel and feared for her life. Pebbles could see that the strange squirrel was growing agitated and increasingly violent, throwing her bag behind him and advancing on her now.
               “So my new friend, I didn’t find anything I liked in your bag. Do you have anything else to offer?” He spoke as if he were threatening her. “Surely you wouldn’t want your new best friend to be disappointed.”
               Pebbles was panicking now, her stomach was ready to blow up but she couldn’t go in front of the squirrel and risk him stealing her gold-plated eyebrows. Suddenly she remembered the rocket launcher. She had left it in the bushes behind the tree out of view before she collapsed. If she could just get to it now, she could gain an edge over this deceitful squirrel.
               She slowly inched towards the bush, the terrible squirrel still ranting on.
               “Best friends are willing to share everything that they have. You said that you would be my friends and share everything that you have with me! But clearly you are hiding something from me!” The squirrel was growing increasingly vicious, “YOU ARE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME!”
               Pebbles just continued to inch towards the rocket launcher, praying that the squirrel was too caught up in his fury to pay attention to what she was doing. She was so close now, the pain in her stomach was almost unbearable, but she was so close. Just one last scoot and there! The rocket launcher was in her hands! Laboriously she pointed the launcher at the squirrel who had just now noticed what Pebbles was doing.
               “Whoaaaa there friend. Why are you pointing that thing at me?” The Golden Squirrel tried to talk his way out of the situation. “I’m just kidding. If you don’t want to share with me its fine. I’ll just be leaving then.”
               Pebbles however was not an idiot anymore. She knew that the creepy squirrel was looking for something and he wanted it bad. He definitely wouldn’t stop harassing her until he achieved his goal. Pebbles was also unwilling to kill him. She already felt dirty for killing the cashier and his evil friend but that was a split second decision. She wouldn’t kill this creepy squirrel if she had the choice.
               Keeping one eye on the creepy squirrel, Pebbles reached for a vine hanging right behind her and yanked it down. In one swift move, Pebbles dropped the rocket launcher, grabbed the squirrel, and tied him up making it impossible for him to escape.
               “Hey! What do you think you’re doing to your friend???” the Golden Squirrel screeched but Pebbles had already taken off into deeper woods to alleviate the pain in her stomach.
               Pebbles scooted off in the forest and found the perfect place to take care of her very pressing business. She squatted down in the small clearing surrounded by bushes with the small stream flowing behind her and let loose the cause of her pain which shot out and fell into the tiny stream. Pebbles sighed in relief and went to collect the gold-plated eyebrows which had been naturally cleaned by the rushing water and lay glittering in the silt. She picked them up, wiped them off one final time, hid them in her socks and went back to where she left that creepy squirrel all tied up.  
               The Golden Squirrel was furious at himself for getting tied up like this. He should have seen it coming! He sighed. He never should have given away the gold-plated eyebrows in the first place. He was just such a coward; only able to act tough for a minute before he cracked. Now he was determined to spend the rest of his life getting them back no matter what cost!
               Pebbles returned to the creepy squirrel completely recovered and ready to return to Baboonia. The problem was: what to do with this creepy squirrel? She couldn’t leave him here all tied up. He would surely die. She couldn’t release him either or risk being attacked for the rest of her life. The only solution, Pebbles decided, was to bring the creepy squirrel with her and hope to change his evil and greedy way just like she planned to change Ghettonia. After she returned the gold-plated eyebrows to the Magical Baboon she would take this creeper to her new kingdom and train him along with all the other savages in her land!
               The Golden Squirrel meanwhile had plotted out a plan of his own and was ready to put it in action. When he saw Pebbles return from wherever she went he pretended to be asleep. Pebbles returned and was surprised to find the creeper squirrel asleep on the ground. She sighed. She would have to drag him to Baboonia so she tied another vine around his neck and proceeded to drag him on the ground along the path back to Baboonia.
               The Golden Squirrel was not pleased with this arrangement. His fur was burning off and twigs were getting stabbed into his flesh but he had promised himself to do whatever it takes to get back those eyebrows and so he ignored the pain and pretended to sleep.
               By now the forest was rid of the evil aura of Ghettonia and filled with the peaceful and happy aura of Baboonia yet something seemed strange. The forest near Baboonia was starting to have hints os despair and sadness mixed in. This hadn’t happened in the Baboonia forest since the Magical Baboon arrived 692 years ago. This was strange. This was scary and Pebbles didn’t like it one bit. She could see the village now coming into view. The cute little cottages and the giant golden statue of the Magical Baboon with flashing lights installed in the eyebrows located in the town square. The statue could also be turned into a fountain on special occasions.  Pebbles was excited to be back. She looked over her shoulder to check on the creeper squirrel and saw that other than looking really beat up, he seemed fine and still asleep. He was becoming quite a drag really.
               Pebbles entered the city eager to see some old faces and return the gold plated eyebrows neatly stored inside her socks. Once she completed her task she would be able to return to her kingdom of Ghettonia, get rid of this creepy squirrel, and live the rest of her life as a queen. She strolled happily through the dusty streets where she had grown up and stopped by her tunnel under a rock by the side of the road. She couldn’t believe that she lived in there for 7 years. Pebbles was also surprised by the lack of people. Usually the town square was filled with food and people and laughter but today there was no one, just the wind and the dust. She continued along the street to the Magical Baboon’s diamond encrusted palace glitter atop the hill dragging the squirrel behind.
               Finally Pebbles reached the palace and rapped the knocker on the solid gold door.  A servant immediately opened the door and shrieked.
               “Oh my goodness!!! Who are you!!!”
               In all fairness Pebbles did look slightly crazy, rocket launcher in one hand, a leash attached to a sleeping squirrel dressed in white robes in another. Pebbles didn’t blame him for freaking out.
               “Don’t you recognize me? It’s Pebbles. ”
               “Are you the Pebbles that used to live in the tunnel under a rock by the side of the road?”
               “Yeah,” Pebbles replied, “That’s me!”
               The servant’s eyes went wide can called into the palace, “Pebbles the thief came back to town. We must arrest her for ruining our lives!” He grabbed Pebbles by the arm and tried to haul her into the palace.
               “Stop!” Pebbles cried, “I have the gold plated eyebrows and I’ve come to return them to the Magical Baboon! I had a handful of pebbles stuck in my brain for 7 years and they finally came out! I’m completely normal now!”
               At the Golden Squirrel opened his eyes and couldn’t resist a giggle. “So you do have the golden eyebrows. And they’re close. I must have them!” he thought to himself and pretended to sleep once more.
               The servant stared in disbelief, “If you really plan on returning the golden eyebrows please give them to me first,” he said and held out his hand. “I will personal go out to find the Magical Baboon and return them to him. Maybe then the problems of Baboonia will go away.”
               “What problems with Baboonia and what do you mean go out and find the Magical Baboon?” Pebbles asked, perplexed, “Isn’t this the palace of the Magical Baboon? Why can’t you give them to him now?”
               The servant glared at Pebbles. “After you took off with his precious gold plated eyebrows, the Magical Baboon fled from Baboonia with his half dozen unicorns and most prized possessions including his silk bathrobe and porcelain tea set. He hasn’t been heard from since.”
               “And what about these problems in Baboonia you talked about. There have never been any problems here before.”
               “There were no problems because the Magical Baboon was here to use his magic to fix everything. With his gone, we are hopeless. The rains have stopped, crops have died, and the babies are starving.”
               “All of this happened in two days I was gone?”
               “YES! The Magical Baboon’s powers were very strong. We are nothing without him!”
               The Golden Squirrel after hearing this became very excited. He had a chance to get back the golden eyebrows! With this “baboon” gone there would be no one left to stop him!
               Pebbles was beginning to feel very guilty. “Do you have any idea where he went?” she asked the servant.
               “No one knows where he went. If we knew then he would have been brought back by now. Now get out of here. We all hate you now!!! GET LOST AND NEVER RETURN!” And with that he slammed the door in Pebbles’ face.
               “But the gold plated eyebrows…” Pebbles blubbered, “Don’t you want them back…”
               The Golden Squirrel chose this moment to “wake up” from his peaceful slumber.
               “Ahem. Cough cough. I believe I was drunk,” he said to Pebbles who had heard his coughs and turned around to look at him.
               “You were drunk?” Pebbles asked incredulously.
               “Yes. I do not know who you are or where I am. I just know that I was very drunk a while ago and I do very crazy things when I’m drunk. Please forgive me if I did anything weird,” the Golden Squirrel said with what he hoped was a sincere apologetic look on his face.
               Pebbles examined his ugly face and decided that the squirrel looked truthful enough and said, “So you don’t remember anything? Everything you did back there was because you were drunk?”
               “Yes. I am sorry if I caused any trouble and if you don’t mind I would like to be untied,” the Golden Squirrel said in his most polite tone, “Also my name is the Golden Squirrel. What is yours?”
               “My name is Pebbles,” she said and bent down to untie the Golden Squirrel. “I’m sorry for tying you up. You are very scary when you are drunk.”
               “Ahh my apologies,” the Golden Squirrel replied, trying to mask the evil smile on his face as he rubbed his burnt fur.
               All the while during the conversation Pebbles had been pondering what to do. The Magical Baboon was missing and his absence was causing pain and suffering for the people of Baboonia. She had a feeling that this was what happed in Ghettonia who without a proper leader fell into the depths of violence and anger. She couldn’t let Baboonia turn into the next Ghettonia! She was the cause of the problems in Baboonia and it was up to her to solve them. She would go after the Magical Baboon, bring his back and restore peace in the land! Pebbles turned to the ugly Golden Squirrel sitting at her feet and said, “Well if you’re all sober now, I’ll be leaving. Good luck to you!” She turned her back, ready for the long journey ahead.
               The Golden Squirrel who was previously squealing on the inside for cleverly getting free now panicked. That Pebbles was leaving him while she still had the gold plated eyebrows! He couldn’t let her get away and called out, “HEY!!! Wait a minute!!! I have one last favor to ask you!”
               Pebbles turned around, annoyance evident on her face. This ugly squirrel just would be quiet! “What do you want?” she asked, trying her best to sound nice.
               “I don’t remember who I am and how I got here. Can I please come with you?” he asked in his most pitiful voice.
               Pebbles was getting very irritated now. She didn’t want this stupid annoying squirrel tagging along. “NO! Go away!”
               The Golden Squirrel was undeterred. “Please, I have nowhere to go. I am like a helpless baby,” he said and managed to squeeze out some fake tears.
               Pebbles however, who was already at the limit of her patience, finally snapped, “NOOOOOO!!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!! I DON’T CARE IF YOU DIE TOMORROW!!!!! YOU CAN’T COME WITH ME!!!” she bellowed and took off running, rocket launcher swishing in her hand.
               The Golden Squirrel had to think fast and he did. He lifted the skirt of this robes and took off running after her but secretly and at a distance. He was about to do anything to get back those gold plated eyebrows and regain his positions as King of the Squirrels.

Pebbles left the depressed Baboonia and reentered the forest. She had no idea where to start her search for the Magical Baboon. How could she possible know where to start? The world was huge and the Magical Baboon could be anywhere. Pebbles thought about her options. There must be some way of tracking the Magical Baboon. His smell! Surely the Magical Baboon had a unique magical scent about him and she could follow the trail to find him! But how would she be able to find this scent and how would she be able to track it? Then she got an idea. There must be someone in her kingdom of Ghettonia that had an unhuman sense of smell since they live in such filth all day. Pebbles had her plan. She would return to Ghettonia, collect a small group of the most skilled trackers, and find to Magical Baboon!
               As Pebbles walked through the forest, she had the strange feeling of being watched. She looked to her left and then to her right and up and down in all direction but could not find anything unusual. Perhaps it was the forest’s natural evil aura as she neared Ghettonia. That must be it. There couldn’t be anyone watching her.  She was just being stupid.
               The Golden Squirrel was in fact watching her however his short stubby legs were having a hard time keeping up. It was hard work leaping from trees and running in the grass. The Golden Squirrel was 945 years old and moving was a challenge. He had to find a better mode of transportation or he would never be able to follow Pebbles and get back the secret to his long lost power. He looked around as spotted a rabbit nearby munching on the grass. The Golden Squirrel giggled in glee. This was too easy. He casually walked up to the rabbit and bit it in the neck. Once the rabbit was lying down in the grass, writhing in pain, he produced his brain controlling venom from his now dirtied robes and injected it into the rabbit. After a moment of silence, the rabbit rose as if from the dead and obediently crouched at the Golden Squirrel’s feet who claimed the rabbit as his steed. He hopped on the rabbit’s back and was off again, following Pebbles’ trail to Ghettonia.
               Pebbles, who was also getting tired from the journey was elated to see the gates of Ghettonia looming in the distance. Although the woods were still dark and scary, Pebbles was unafraid because she knew that they wouldn’t attack their new queen.  She walked up to the door and before she even knocked, the door was swung wide open and she was greeted with a bow.
               “Welcome back your majesty,” the servant purred, “We are excited for whatever evil plans you may have in store.” He stepped back to lets Pebbles through the door.
               As soon as Pebbles walked through the gate and into Ghettonia, the entire city seemed to drop what it was doing and rush over to see the queen. Everyone crowded around her wanting to know what evil plans she had planned out.
               “Are we going to set fire to the forest?” someone shouted out in the crowd.
               “Yeah! Or are we going to capture all of the furry creatures from the woods and make them our slaves!!!” another shouted excitedly.
               “NO,” Pebbles said in an authoritative tone, “I have a better idea than that. We are going hunting for a person!”
               The crowd seemed disappointed at this statement. Their previously giddy faces were now gloomy like a disappointed child on Christmas. “Then no fire…” they said, “Not even a little one?”
               Pebbles needed to fix this quick or she would lose the support she needed form her search party. “No there will be no fire but there will be plenty of money to be made and lots of good food to eat.” Pebbles said, “Also whoever comes with me will be my bodyguards and if anyone or anything attacks me you guys can kill it and set fire to it if you want.”
               The crowd murmured in excitement, there was a chance for violence and money and food. What more could you ask for? Plus they were serving the new queen who was perfect beyond compare. They were in. “Queen!!” they cried, “We want to go with you! Please take us with you!”
               Pebbles grinned. Being a queen was fantastic. Unfortunately as queen she couldn’t make everyone happy. “I’m pleased that all of you want to help me with this important task but not all of you can come with me. I will be holding a contest to see which of you possesses the qualities that I am seeking for this trip. Whoever would like to be considered for the trip please meet tomorrow morning in the forest just outside of town.” Pebbles turned and was led by a team of servants to her new palace, leaving the excited crowd to talk amongst themselves.
               “I’m gonna be in that expedition no matter what. I’ll beat you up if you go instead of me.”
               “Oh yeah? I’ll rip out your hair to get a spot on that trip!”
               “I’ll rip off your arms and legs to get that spot!”
               The Golden Squirrel meanwhile had listened to Pebbles’ speech from a hole he dug on the outskirts of the crowd and was getting nervous. If Pebbles gathered a group of the wildest outlaws from Ghettonia to help her on her trip, what chance did he have of stealing back the gold plated eyebrows? Pebbles had also given the order to kill anyone or anything that attacked her. If he was caught he would surely be butchered and cooked in a stew. The stakes had just gotten higher but the Golden Squirrel was willing to do everything in his power to get back those eyebrows which were rightfully his! He would stop at nothing to regain control of his kingdom!
               Through the crowd he saw Pebbles leaving with a group of servants, no doubt to lead her to her palace. The Golden Squirrel grabbed the reins of his rabbit steed and scuttled after her, careful not to be seen by the blood thirsty Ghettonians. Who knew what they would do to a helpless squirrel and his rabbit? The Golden Squirrel watched from the shadows as Pebbles disappeared into the palace.

The next morning there was a great crowd gathered in the forest outside of Ghettonia. The sky was relatively bright by Ghettonian standards and there was a significantly less amount of smoke in the air. Pebbles arrived with a smile on her face.
               “Good morning everyone!” Pebbles cheerfully greeted the crowd, “Welcome to the Pebbles Crew Selection! There will be three stages each testing a different skill needed on this journey. Please follow me to begin stage one: the smelling test!”
               Pebbles led the group to nearby swamp filled with nasty looking things. The brown goo oozed and bubbled, emitting a terrible stench. “I’ve had 10 of my servants hid somewhere in this swamp. You must find one to advance to the next round.”
               The crowd was so ready for this challenge. The disgusting swamp was nothing compared to the filthiest parts of Ghettonia. But that was only half of the challenge.
               “Each of you will be blindfolded and given one sniff of each of the servants’ clothes,” Pebbles continued, “You must use your sense of smell to find them.”
               The crowd groaned. This was too much! How could they find something with their eyes closed? No one had ever attempted this before. But then they thought of the rewards to come with the trip: the violence, the money and the food. With those thoughts in mind they whipped on their blindfolds and sniffed each of the ten reeking shirts. In a flash they had waded into the swamp and on the hunt. To their surprise, they found that it was quite easy to follow a trail of scent. It was what they did every morning to find their breakfasts in the hiding places of their neighbors. The only challenge was navigating the sticky filth that sucked them down and hindered their movement. With each servant that was found, a horn sounded and the number of servants left was announced over the swamp. As the number of servants decreased, the remaining contestants grew more and more frantic. They forgot their sense of smell and randomly sloshed through the mud hoping to run into a servant. Finally all servants were found and the final horn sounded signaling the end of stage one. The remaining contestants slapped at the mud in rage. They wanted to be on that expedition! Pebbles. Hoping to avoid conflict and bloodshed, gave them each a nice piece of bread as compensation for their time and all was better. The servants were also given some bread for their sacrifice, standing in the disgusting mud for 5 hours. 
               Pebbles sent the failures home and turned to the remaining ten contestants.  “Congratulations on completing stage one of the Pebbles Crew Trials,” Pebbles announced, “Now you will begin stage two: the squirrel hunting challenge.” Pebbles had a bad feeling about that Golden Squirrel she had let go in Baboonia. He seemed like he was still hiding something even though her claimed to be drunk. She still didn’t trust him and therefore set up this challenge. “I have dressed five of my smallest servants in squirrel costumes and set them free in the forest. Although they are human, they look exactly like squirrels. They will avoid you at all cost for I have warned them that if they are caught I will not feed them for ten weeks. Capture a squirrel and you will move on to the next round. Good luck!”
               Without wasting a second the remaining five Pebbles Crew hopefuls sprinted out into the forest, intent on capturing that squirrel and joining the expedition. The servants that Pebbles sent out were indeed indistinguishable from real life squirrels. They chittered like squirrels, ran like squirrels, smelled like squirrels, and looked like squirrels. The five Ghettonians bounded in hot pursuit of the creatures. They climbed trees, sprinted across clearings, and leaped from cliffs. The squirrels were impossible to catch. Finally they stopped their useless chasing and sat down to formulate a better way of capturing the squirrels.
               “We gotta lure ‘em in with food. We’ll surround it on all sides and then catch it!” big hairy one with a disgusting beard suggested.
               “Naww. We just gotta tire it out,” another one said, “We’ll run it until its exhausted and dies in its own sweat.” He rubbed his hands together, clearly relishing the idea.
               “You idiot,” another replied, “If it dies of exhaustion so do we. We’ve got to dress like squirrels too and befriend it. They we’ll backstab it and bring it back to the queen.”
               Each of them came up with their own ideas on how to capture the squirrel. None of them could agree to one method so they split up and each used their own method. In the end the fake squirrel, the food trapper, the squirrel caller, the glue trapper, and the squirrel fanatic captured squirrels and made it through to the last round.
               Pebbles meanwhile was getting more and more nervous. She could feel eyes staring at her but whenever she looked around there was no one there. She regretted letting that Golden Squirrel go. She should have brought him with her and kept him in the dungeons.
               The Golden Squirrel was in fact watching her and her little Pebbles Crew Trials. He knew she was onto him. Why else would she hold a squirrel hunting contest? It worried him but not as much as you would think. He knew that he was not like those other squirrels in the forest. He was gifted and as such should be the King of Squirrels but that title was taken away many years ago after he lost the gold plated eyebrows. He decided the best course of action would be to make Pebbles nervous, therefore making her hurry to find the Magical Baboon. When she handed the gold plated eyebrows over to the Magical Baboon he would run out and snatch them away, regaining his proper position as King of Squirrels. The Golden Squirrel giggled in excitement. He would try and take the gold plated eyebrows now but he had no idea where they were and there was too much risk. He would just have to wait for the perfect moment to strike. The Golden Squirrel was a king of waiting. He was 10293 years old after all. A little longer wouldn’t hurt.
               Pebbles turned her attention to the five contestants who succeeded in capturing her squirrel servants. The squirrels whimpered when they saw her, scared to face their punishment for being caught. They trembled in fears and tried to explain but Pebbles cut them off, gave them each a chink of bread and sent them back to the palace. The servants were overjoyed! What a fantastic new queen they had.
               Pebbles turned to the remaining 5 people and announced the final challenge. “In stage three you will be tested for reflexes. I will throw 12 rats at each of you. The three people who catch the most rats will join me on my expedition!”
               “Hah!” the contestants thought, “This is gonna be so easy. I grew up with the rats. Catching them should be no problem!” They lined up in a row in front of Pebbles who held a massive cage swarming with humongous rats each the size of a small alligator. These were no ordinary rats. The seemingly tough contestants began to sweat.
               “I will go down the row starting from my right,” Pebbles said, jiggling the cage, “Be ready to catch some rats!”
               Pebbles was really enjoying this challenge. Flinging the rats was surprisingly satisfying and therapeutic. She decided that if this queen thing didn’t work out she would become a professional rat flinger at the zoo or something. Swish Swish Swish. The rats flew through the air, jaws opened wide ready for a bite of human flesh.  The tough constants squealed like little girls but still managed to catch a few of the less ferocious rats. In the end the contestants who caught the most rats were Pimple with 7 rats, Plague with 5 rats and Bunion with 4 rats.
               “Congratulations on making the final three. You will be joining me on my journey to find the Magical Baboon!” Pebbles announced. “Be ready to leave in the town square tomorrow. Bring only things that you absolutely need. See you tomorrow!” Pebbles turned and left with her parade of servants for her palace.
               The three members of the Pebbles Crew went back to their homes to prepare. Along the way they met many envious looks yet no one dared touch them for fear of angering the queen.
               The Golden Squirrel also returned to the hole he had dug and burrowed in for the long night, leaving the rabbit outside to face the cold. He could care less about anyone other than himself.

Pebbles awoke bright and early the next morning ready for the long journey ahead. She had prepared enough food and supplies for six months and a carriage pulled by half a dozen horses. She didn’t have the money to turn them into unicorns like the Magical Baboon. She double checked that the gold plated eyebrows were securely tucked into the socks and left for the town square to meet the official Pebbles Crew.  They were the perfect group for a search party to find the Magical Baboon. They could track trails of scents, destroy squirrels, and react in a split second. Nothing could prevent them from finding the Magical Baboon and saving Baboonia! Nothing except of course that freaky Golden Squirrel who Pebbles felt was following her. She would need to keep one eye open at all times.
               Her chariot rolled into the town square which was filled with people wishing her good luck on the journey. She spotted the Pebbles Crew in the center of the square and rode over to them.
               “Are you all ready to embark on this dangerous and possibly violent journey for riches and food?” the asked the Pebbles Crew.
               “YEAH!!!!” they cheered and hoped into the chariot pulled by a half dozen horses.
               “Then let’s go!” Pebbles cried and galloped the horses through the cheering crowd, past the gates of Ghettonia and into the forest. The journey had begun!
               Since they would be together for the next few months, Pebbles decided that it would be a good idea to get to know one another. “So,” she said to the Pebbles Crew, “Let’s get to know each other and share some information about ourselves. I’ll go first. My name is Pebbles. I was born in Fondue. When I was younger I stuffed a handful of pebbles into my skull for a science project to try and unlock an unused portion of my brain. Unfortunately it didn’t work and the Pebbles acted like a tumor, pushing on my brain and making me very stupid. Eventually I was abandoned by my parents and run out of town. I wandered over to Baboonia where I grew up. I did some pretty bad things there and ended up in Ghettonia.  While I was in Ghettonia, I got beat up by a stupid cashier and his evil friend which ended up knocking the pebble tumor out of my skull and giving me my intelligence back. Then I killed them and became queen of Ghettonia.”
               The members of the Pebbles Crew wiped their eyes, sniffling back their tears. Who would have thought that their beloved queen had such a heartbreaking past? Such pain and rejection she went through!
               “Well that’s my story,” Pebbles said, “Next person please share.”
               “Ahem,” Pimple cleared his throat, “Hi my name is Pimple and I was born in Ghettonia to a bank robber and a town drunk. I have 89 siblings and they used to beat me up when I was little. When I was 4 I started robbing banks with my mom. When I was 6 I started setting fire to my neighbors’ houses for fun. When I was 9 I started growing a bunch of pimples and that’s when my parents finally gave me a name. They named me Pimple because I had so many pimples. I had a lot of pimples. Enough to fill this entre cart. They were huge. I really hate my pimple. They are so annoying and they bother me so much. Once I wished that they would grow in patterns but that didn’t happen. They were also my only friends. At least my pimples kept me company and never left my side. I gave them names as soon as they were born unlike my parents who didn’t give me a name until I was 9. There’s Bumpity and Spritz and Grape and Yam. There’s just so many of them. It’s always a sad affair when they leave my face and die. I hold a small funeral for each one. When I got older I started a rat breeding business to try and cause more chaos in the city. It was fun. All of the rats in Ghettonia are there because of me. I’m the rat king. I’m so good at training rats to be evil and mean. Rats and pimples pretty much sum up my life. Yeahh. I’m done now.”
               Pebbles stared in shock. The sadness of his life was undermined by the sheer weirdness of it. She had never met someone with a life quite like that. He seemed like such a lonely person first looking to his pimples for companionship and then rats. He felt bad for him. “Thank you for sharing Pimple,” she said, giving him a pat on the back. “Next person please.”
               “Hi my name is Plague,” said Plague, “I was born in a cave in the mountains but when I was 2 months old, I rolled out of the cave and ended up in Ghettonia. I survived by eating plants growing in the chemically contaminated pool by the dumpsters. That probably wasn’t the best idea I ever had. Many people think I’m overweight because of my belly.” He pulled up his shirt and jiggled what was under it. “That’s not actually fat. It’s all muscle. I have a rare condition where all of my muscle grows like fat and jiggles. I’m not actually fat. I just have a lot of muscle that jiggles. Everyone needs some jiggle in their life whether it be from jelly or boogers or extra underarm skin. Sometimes in life you just got to jiggle to be happy. That’s my motto. Just jiggle. Isn’t it great? I think it’s so great and you better think it is too!”
               Pebbles was shocked by Pimple but he was nothing compared to Plague. She suspected some brain damage from the chemicals he drank as a kid but as long as it didn’t interfere with his Magical Baboon finding skills, it was all good. “Last but not least Bunion. Please share your life story with us!”
               “Howdy ya’ll I’m Bunion. I really don’t have a life. I was born in Ghettonia like everyone else who was born in Ghettonia. I have some parents who are thugs and like to beat up little kids and ugly cats. I don’t know how they judge if a cat is ugly or not. Maybe by its face shape or fur color. Quite frankly I think all cats are pretty cure except for the ones that live in the darker parts of town that drink acid because there’s no water anywhere. Those look kind of freaky but other than them, the other cats in Ghettonia are pretty standard. They got two eyes and a mouth and a nose and like usually four legs and one tail but I’m not really sure because I really can’t count all that well. I kind of like the cats but my parents don’t. Especially those ugly ones that aren’t even that ugly. They look like normal cats to me. My parents also think I look like a cat so they feed me a lot of fish. But the fish isn’t really fresh at all. They died like last year and have been sitting in a puddle of vinegar for some time. They don’t even taste like fish anymore. Not that I would know since I’ve never actually eaten a fresh fish. All I’ve ever wanted in life is to eat a fresh caught fish. Not some frozen fish or some freeze dried fish but some real live fish that are fresh from wherever they grow up. Is that so much to ask for? Just a bite of real fish. My parents named me Bunion because they blew up and onion they day that my mom gave birth to me. They thought it would be cool to name me Bunion because it rhymes with onions and bombz. That’s pretty cool don’t cha think? I used to brag to my friends about how I have a really cool name but they didn’t think it was cool at all. They laughed at me so I set the real ugly cats from the dark side of town on them and they got scratched up pretty bad. Now my parents beat them up because they think they’re ugly cats but they’re actually just ugly kids who got mauled by the ugly cats from the dark side of town. What is there to say? Hmmm. Well, I want to be in this expedition because there’s the possibility of food. I really want that fresh fish. I’ve been dreaming about it my entire life. Just imagine eating a fish! All fresh and flippery. Yeah. That would be great.” Bunion drooled a bit, lost in thought about fish.
               Pebbles didn’t know what to think. One thing was for sure. Bunion sure could talk and this was definitely the weirdest group of people she had every met in her entire life and she had to spend the next couple of month with them! She didn’t know what she was going to do. The Pebbles Crew all seemed to have problems both emotionally and physically but they seemed like nice enough people and they surely wouldn’t attack her because she was the queen! They were all super hairy, super huge, and super dirty. She made a mental note to make them bathe at the next stream the encountered.
               And a stream they did encounter. Pebbles sent the Pebbles Crew out to bathe with the order to not come back until they smelled like real humans. The Pebbles Crew was not too happy with this order but obliged anyways. This was their queen they were talking about. They arrived at the edge of the stream and gently touched the surface. They had never taken a bath before. They were quite unsure what to do. Well, Pebbles had told them to get clean in the stream so they probably had to get in and that’s what they did. Splash. Splash. Splash. All three of them jumped in and immediately the entire stream ran black and all the little creatures that lived in it died. The plants along the banks of the stream died as well shriveling up in a blink of an eye. The Pebbles Crew saw what they did to the creatures and plants and were overjoyed by the reaction. They were killing things! That made them so happy. From that point on they decided that they loved baths and went back to Pebbles all clean and told her about their new love of baths. Pebbles was so happy that she had made a positive impact on their lives, ignorant to the loss of life that this change brought to the plants and little creatures by the stream.
               They journeyed on, the Pebbles crew sporadically taking whiffs of the gold plated eyebrows through Pebbles socks and following their scent through the woods. The trip was relatively uneventful though Pebbles constantly had the feeling that something was watching her and she had a good idea who it was. The Golden Squirrel with his ugly robes wanted the gold plated eyebrows and still hadn’t given up the hunt. They travel for 4 weeks and finally came upon a small cave in the middle of the desert, the nearest town 50 miles away.
               “The trail of scent ends here,” Bunion said and the other members of the Pebbles Crew nodded their agreement. “The Magical Baboon should be in there.” He pointed to the entrance of the cave which just looked like a pile of rocks. There was no way that the Magical Baboon would live in there. Although skeptical, Pebbles trusted her crew and stopped her carriage.
               The whole entire journey had been followed by the Golden Squirrel who by now was weary from the hard traveling his old body had to endure. But at last his troubles were about to pay off. He watched as Pebbles’ carriage stopped outside of a small pile of rocks. It didn’t look like much but the Golden Squirrel could sense the Magical Baboon’s presence. He had arrived at the Magical Baboon’s secret lair and now was his chance to take back what was rightfully his. He leaped off his rabbit’s back and scurried between the rocks, watching as Pebbles entered the cave with her 3 buddies. The Golden Squirrel hurried after them and hid, waiting for his moment of glory.
               Pebbles got out of the carriage and motioned for the Pebbles Crew to follow her. She had that weird feeling of being watched again and whispered to the companions to be extra careful and be on the lookout for strange animals. They entered the cave and went down a flight of steep steps that led to a wide cavern glittering with diamonds and gold. This was the Magical Baboon’s lair alright. But where was the Magical Baboon himself?
               “Magical Baboon!” Pebbles called, “Its Pebbles. The girl who stole your gold plated eyebrows. I’m very sorry I stole them but I’ve come to return them to you!”
               There was no reply. Then they heard a scuffling sound in the next room. It sounded like a fight was going on. There was a loud crash and a bang and Pebbles and her crew went rushing into the room to find a strange sight. There was the Magical Baboon and the Golden Squirrel fighting it to the death, clawing at eat other’s faces and hissing death threats. Pebbles and her crew stood there stunned for a moment and then jumped in to help the Magical Baboon. They pried the Golden Squirrel off of the Magical Baboon and trapped him inside an ornate vase sitting in the corner. Plague sat on top of it and all was still.
               “Magical Baboon! Your highness, are you all right?” Pebbles asked concerned.
               “Yes. Yes. I’m quite alright. I am ashamed to be seen like this though. I feel like a coward.” The Magical Baboon replied.
               “You must return to Baboonia,” Pebbles cried, “Without your leadership the city has fallen into disarray. Babies are starving!”
               “But I can’t go back! I would be of no help to the kingdom and only make things worse” The Magical Baboon began to cry.
               “How can you say that! You have magical powers! You can fix anything!” Pebbles couldn’t believe that the Magical Baboon was giving up on them, “You have to come back!”
               “The gold plated eyebrows you stole from me were the secret to my powers! Without them I am only an old man who has the ugly appearance of a baboon.” The Magical Baboon really started bawling now. Bug fat tears rolling down his face and splashing on the solid gold floor.
               “I have you gold plated eyebrows and I came to give them back to you!” Pebbles cried and took the eyebrows out of her socks and held them out to the Magical Baboon, “If I give these back will you return to Baboonia and restore order again?”
               The Magical Baboon’s eyes went wide at the sight of his beloved gold plated eyebrows. “YES!” he cried, “Of course I will return to my kingdom to restore order!” With that he snatched the gold plated eyebrows out of Pebbles’ hands and promptly slapped them onto his forehead, right where they belong. “Thank you so much for returning my eyebrows even though you were the one who stole them. I really hate you but also lie you at the same time.”
               The Magical Baboon looked sadly at his cave. He had spent the last 4 and a half weeks decorating the place, encrusting the walls with diamonds and covering the floor with pure gold. He didn’t want this place to go to waste. “Pebbles,” he asked, “Would you like to live here in this cave? You obviously can’t go back to Baboonia, the people there would stone you to death. Since you have nowhere else to go, you can live here for the rest of your life.”
               “Thanks for the offer Magical Baboon but I’m actually the Queen of Ghettonia now.” Pebbles explained, “It’s a very exciting job!”
               “WHAT!” the Magical Baboon exclaimed, “Well as long as you don’t die in there. Also would you mind giving me a ride back to Baboonia? My horses died a couple days ago. I buried them out back.”
               “Sure,” said Pebbles and then looked at the Magical Baboon again, “By the way, why were you fighting with the Golden Squirrel?”
               I saw him scuttling around my furniture looking very sneaky. I tried to kill him with my cooking pot but he turned around and bit me. I assume that he wanted the gold plated eyebrows back .He was the one I got them from so many years ago.
               “Ahh I see,” Pebbles said. No wonder she felt like she was being watched. That darned Golden Squirrel was out to get her from the start and hadn’t stopped following her since she met him in the forest so many weeks ago. She turned to the Pebbles Crew and Plague who was still sitting on top of the ornate vase holding the Golden Squirrel.
               “Hey Pebbles Crew,” she said, “Please get rid of the Golden Squirrel in any way you’d like. Just make sure he doesn’t get away and will never move again. If you do this properly I will give you this entire fantastic cave as a reward.”
               The Pebble Crew’s eyes popped out! This was a job that they were more than happy to do for free, much less for a giant diamond and gold encrusted cave! Their thirst for violence and blood was in full blast now as they reached inside the vase and pulled out the Golden Squirrel who was struggling to get free.
               “LET GO OF ME YOU MONSTERS!!!!” the Golden Squirrel screamed, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!! I AM THE FORMER KING OF THE SQUIRRELS!!! I”LL HAVE MY SQUIRREL POLICE ARREST YOU FOR THIS!!! LET ME DOWN!!!!!”
               The Pebbles Crew just looked at this strange creature dressed in dirt stained robes and took him outside. The Golden Squirrel continued to scream threats but they fell on deaf ears. Pimple, Plague and Bunion all had really bad hearing.
               “Ready?” asked Bunion
               “Ready,” said Plague and Pimple
               Without a second thought, they wound up their arms and with a heave ho, threw the Golden Squirrel, screaming for mercy, into the sky never to be heard from again. The Pebbles Crew looked at each other and high fived, thirst for violence quenched for now. The 4 week journey was worth it after all. They had come away with money and eaten some food and had now demolished a squirrel. What more could a Ghettonian want?
               Fish. Bunion still wanted to eat a fresh fish. He really wanted to eat a fresh fish. I had been his dream from childhood to just eat one fresh fish. That’s all he’s ever wanted.
               Normal muscle. Plague just wanted his muscle to be firm and not jiggle around like fat all the time. He was tired of being bullied. He was tired of his motto which was just something he made up to make himself feel better. He wasn’t obese and he wanted the world to know it. That’s all he wanted.
               Clear skin. That’s all Pimple wanted. He didn’t even like his name. All the bumps and prickles on his skin hurt and he was sick of them. He would even give up his name to get rid of these pimples.
               They all sighed. Knowing that there was no way that their dreams would ever come true but that was okay. By living in Ghettonia they had come to realize that dreams never came true. You just had to live through the filth and the much and the crime and hope that one day you would be able to at least die a decent death although the number one cause of death in Ghettonia was death by excessive flatulence but one could dream.
               Pebbles and the Magical Baboon had come out of the cave now, his majesty’s things all packed up and ready to be loaded into Pebbles’ carriage pulled by half a dozen normal horses. Pebbles was calling out for the Pebbles Crew to get back on the carriage when she saw how sad and forlorn their faces looked. These were her friends now and she couldn’t let them be so sad. “Why do you all look so sad?” she asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
               “No,” they replied, “We want to eat fish, firm our muscles, and get rid of our pimples but you can’t do anything about that. We know it’s never going to happen but one can dream you know.” And with that they turned their backs and started walking over to the carriage, ready to get it.
               The Magical Baboon had been listening to their conversation and decided to do something to repay his saviors and so he called out to the Pebbles Crew, “You know, these gold plated eyebrows you three brought back to me have magical powers. I could make all of your dreams come true. What would you would like?”
               The Pebbles Crew whipped their heads around and looked at the Magical Baboon in disbelief. “You mean you could make all of our dreams come true?” the asked, “We can eat fish and get our muscles to stop jiggling and get smooth non-pimply skin?” Their eyes glittered with hope. A stark contrast to their hairy faces and mud packed clothes.
               “I can really do that,” the Magical Baboon replied, “Here. Let me show you.” The Magical Baboon took a step back and began dancing in a circle. It was a strange dance similar to that of the chicken dance but with some salsa mixed in. He went around and around, his robes swishing every which way. Pebbles and her crew stood there watching, half wanting to laugh but knowing that that wasn’t a very good idea. Soon a sparkling blue mist enveloped the Magical Baboon who was still spinning and dancing about. The mist swirled and sparkled, growing brighter and brighter. Then suddenly the Magical Baboon violently pointed his finger at the Pebbles Crew and the blue sparkling mist shot at the crew, swirling around them now and sparkling with an even greater intensity. It swirled and swirled and then finally stopped and there stood the Pebbles Crew, with their wished granted. Bunion held a plate of fresh fish, Plague had firm muscles that didn’t sway and jiggle when he moved anymore, and Pimple had a smooth clear face. They looked at themselves and then looked at the Magical Baboon in awe. He was a real sorcerer! The real deal! They knelt on the ground and bowed to the Magical Baboon and cried “Oh thank you great and powerful Magical Baboon. You are the greatest baboon ever. You are so fantastic and kind and just the best! Thank you so much for granting us our wishes!”
               Pebbles was also equally in awe and slightly annoyed. If she had known that power of the gold plated eyebrows she could have used them to find the Magical Baboon in a minute, transport herself to him in a second, and finish this whole quest in under 5 minutes. She felt cheated. As she continued to ponder, she realized that the Magical Baboon could have just used the gold plated eyebrows to heal her of her brain pebble tumor and she would never have stolen his eyebrows in the first place! This entire thing was so stupid. But then Pebbles thought, if this had never happened, she never would have become the queen of Ghettonia, made such great friends, and destroyed that annoying Golden Squirrel. She figured that these past 4 weeks were worth it after all.   
               The Magical Baboon, the Pebbles Crew and Pebbles all piled into the carriage pulled by half a dozen normal horses and made their way through the forest and back to civilization, the Magical Baboon’s cave having been dug up and attached to the back of the carriage. The going was slow, since the cave was so heavy and there were only half a dozen normal horses, but they made it back. They first dropped off the Pebbles Crew in Ghettonia along with their huge cave and then proceeded to Baboonia to restore the Magical Baboon to his rightful place as King.
               Pebbles stopped the carriage right at the edge of town and helped the Magical Baboon out and passed him all of his belongings. She said to the Magical Baboon, “Good bye . I probably shouldn’t go inside because, as you said, the people would probably stone me to death. So good luck Magical Baboon and restore peace to the land!” Pebbles turned around and without a second glance took off towards Ghettonia where her next great adventure awaited!