Sam wake up wake up!” Suddenly I open my eyelids and my eyes try to focus. Ruth’s face just inches from mine, is shouting my name shaking my shoulders. “Ruth I’m awake!”
“It’s all right, you were screaming again.”
I take a few more seconds to comprehend what is going on around me, reminding me that I am in my own bed, safe and sound. Nightmares. Like the many other kids who have lost their parents, or any loved one as a matter of fact, I get the side-effect of frequent, horrifying, nightmares. The type that send you piercing the night with your scream, and leave teary eyes to clear in the morning to follow. “The bathroom is clear now. What time is it?”
“1:12am”
“All right, let’s go.” I whisper.
Since a recent flood, caused by a bomb dropped directly over our water pipes, half of the bathrooms in Semasty are being repaired. This means double the amount of people to one bathroom. The lines go deep into the night and people are assigned shifts until the original ones are usable. Hopefully, this should not last for more than two weeks longer. Ruth and I take our blankets and wrap them around us as we head out our door.
When I go to get the candle in the hallway, Ruth whispers, “Sam, what was you dream about?”

I hesitate for a moment. “I actually don‘t know.” I realize that I was telling the complete truth. This dream was different then my past ones, and it all felt so real. Where was I? And who was the boy who I had called Damien?

We reached the bathroom just at the close of our shift, so Ruth and I were able to take our time. I lay out our worn, bushed toothbrushes and nasty tasting toothpaste. Poor Ruth’s eyes look tired and hungry. I wish that I could provide more for her. I gently brush her teeth first. That way, when I brush mine, she can wash her face.

I wish Mom and Dad were here to earn the appropriate amount of money needed for the care of a five year old. A warm tear suddenly slides down my cheek but I quickly wipe it away so Ruth won’t see. I have to watch out for these things around her. She is so fragile both inside and out. I sometimes wonder if she would snap easier than a twig itself. After a quick bath with chilled water for Ruth, we are both finished for the night. After she is tucked deep into her covers and satisfied we crawl into bed and go back to sleep.

I was to the abnoxious beeping of the wake up alarm sounding throughout the building. I roll over slowly, still with my eyes half open, trying to adjust to the light. “All right Ruth, rise and shine.” “Breakfast Ruth.” I take our cheese, which is now hard and stale, with dry wheat crackers. I cringe as I set it on her plate, but she gobbles it up anyways. “Ruth, I’ll be back. I have to go grab almonds for your lunch down at the store. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Is there anyway you could possibly get salted ones?”
“I’ll make a deal with you Ruth, if you can get ready all by yourself, I will get you salted almonds.”
“Really? I thought they banned salt last week!”
“No, but the price has gone way up. So come on we‘ve got to hurry!”

I can trust Ruth when getting ready because she only has two school dresses, which at the moment one is hanging up in the middle of our romm drying from a recent wash. The sight of the awkwardly hanging dress reminds me of the need to begin her winter outfits for next year. The bitter chills of winter are almost up to our heels! She gets her schoolbag ready by herself each morning except for her lunch. I lock the door behind me as I head to the store. When I have gathered my items, I catch a glance of Eddie. It catches my eye when I realize he looked extremely tired. His eyes droop over the empty counter, no book in sight. His hair is uncombed and unwashed.
“Why do you look so blue this fine morning?” I ask teasingly.
“Oh nothing, just a hard night I guess.”
“Are you going to take a break today?” I question.
“No, I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Somebody has to run this darn store.”
“What would you say if I offered?"
“You couldn’t do it.”
“Why not? There is nothing to it! I watch you all these days sitting at this counter. Grab the items, weigh the items, announce price, collect money, give back the change. Nothing to it!”
“I don’t know, if anything goes wrong, I’m fired.”
“Come on Eddie! I’ll do fine!”
“Oh all right, bless your sweet soul.”
“When do I start?”
“Is 11:00 ok?”
“Fine with me. Could I get five salted almonds and some more milk? How about another ounce of cheese as well?”
“Sure, it's on me. I owe you one.”
“All right. I’ll take you up on that.”

I really start to wonder why he is so tired. He is always happy and perked up, or with his nose caught in a book. Must have just been a hard night sleep as he said. When I walk into the room, I see Ruth’s backpack lying in the corner of the room, and on the other corner is Ruth herself, but crying. He face jerks around to me and I see her tear-stained cheeks and running nose. She runs up and grabs my leg. “Ruth, what’s the matter?” I ask when I pick her up and embrace her for a warm hug.
“I thought that you weren’t coming back.” she chokes out.
“Why on the planet would you ever think that?” Secretly I all ready know. My screaming in the middle of the night. It has frightened her too much and when things like that happen, no matter how hard you try, the memory will never go away. So instead, I quickly change the subject and before she can say anything, I blurt out, “Here, look what I got you!” Her face lifts and her mood immediately shifts. “You couldn’t think I would forget to bring you these did you?” I tickle her on her stomach and she squeals with delight.
“Come on we are going to be late!”
I glance at the clock and realize she is right. With getting the almonds and the dream and the crying, I completely forgot about the time!
“All right! Let’s go!” I shout as I throw half a cheese cube, milk, and the almonds in a handkerchief along with her 3 crayons and eraser. “I’ll walk you down to the school room.”

As usual, like every other day, I walk Ruth down to the elementary school room where my good friend teaches the lower grades. Next to this room lies the intermediate and advances school rooms. “Hello.” I say as usual. “Are you ready for this one?”
“As always” She replies back.
“All right, see you this afternoon.” I head up to the room to start Ruth’s winter dress and cloak. Where is my needle? Ruth couldn’t have gotten it out and no one else comes in here. Darn, is it really gone? Now I will have to make yet another trip down to the convenience store.
I walk down the sewing aisle and pick out a new needle.
“Hello there Sarnia.”
I jerk around, startled at the sudden voice.
“Hello Sara, I am Samantha.” I hug this old lady with the name of Mrs. Tolls. She is one of the older ladies living here in Semasty, and she runs the convenience store. She has a forgetful memory especially when it comes to names. One day I’ll be Kara and the next Teresina. This makes me wonder how she was the one hired for this job.
“Oh dear, I’m sorry.”
“No problem, can I get one sewing needle please?”
“Sure. 1.00$ please. Anything else for you today?”
“No thank you.”
I pull out my hard earned cash and hand it over in exchange for the single needle.
“Thank you.” I mutter as I walk out the door.
I look at one of the watches hung on display to see that they time is 11:34. Oh great, I am all ready late for the job. I drop off the needle at my room and rush across the building to the grocery store.
“Eddie I am so sorry I am late!”
“Oh it’s fine, well if you have any problems just ring me up.” He says rather abruptly.
“All right, bye!” I say, and with that, he quickly shuffled off.


I see why Eddie gets so bored. I have been here an hour and only five customers so far, purchasing nothing more that two pounds of food in all. I slouch down into my chair and lean back. No wonder Eddie goes through so many books. I decide I am thirsty so I sneak across the store and pull out a cup of orange juice, my favorite. I long for more but I know better. Why don’t I sew Ruth’s dress while I wait? I run up to my room quickly, hoping not to have any customers while I am gone, and at last reach the handle to my room. I notice that the door is slightly opened. I find myself in an odd situation as I awkwardly peek into my own room. I can help but yelp when I see a large figure hunched over going rapidly though my belongings.

My scream pierces the air just as the unknown figure jumps back and turns in my direction. I realize this figure is very known to me.
“Eddie! What are you doing!” I demand, still trying to recover from my shock. “I thought you were taking a nap! How dare you come into my room without permission. And worst yet, how dare you lie to me!”
“I well, uh… ” He stammers out, but before he can say finish I interrupt by saying,
“What is that you are holding behind your back? Are you stealing from me?”
Not knowing what to expect, he slowly pulls out the mysterious slip of paper. I am shocked.
“Oh, this. Well, where did you get this?” He says sheepishly. I was still startled.
“That is absolutely none of your business Eddie and you know that darn well!”
“Samantha, answer the question!”
“I don’t know! One day it just showed up. I doubt it was even meant to go to me!”
“It was for you!” HE shouts, and then after realizing what just came out of his mouth, he turns away.
“What?”
“Nothing, I didn’t say anything.”
“What do you mean? I just heard you! Stop keeping secrets!” His face blushes and I see he is embarrassed.
“No, no. I didn’t mean that, please forgive me. I am making a big deal out of nothing. I promise I didn’t mean it that way.” Now I feel silly and ashamed. I start to feel my own face redden.
“No, no I am the one who should be apologizing. I just wish that I could tell you. Well, my break is up see ya later.”
“No! Wait! You are still exhausted! I will finish it for you until you wake, but believe me, I will get to the bottom of this.”
“I don’t deserve it after all the trouble I’ve caused you.” He is right, and I don’t want to go back and just sit, but it is only right for me to go and do a simple favor after all that he has done for me so I say,
“It is nothing just as long as you promise to actually take a nap, and no more lying.”
“Oh thank you, thank you.”
My mind is still buzzing, jumping trying to grab on to what I had just heard. Or I think I just heard. Did I imagine the whole thing? No, it was all too real, and all too familiar. The confusion, the shouting, the embarrassment for both of us. What is Eddie hiding? Why was he so tired? Why was he interested in the note? How did he even find the note? This time I cannot push the problem away. I have more questions than the stars in the sky. I better get back to the store. I can think it through there. Just to make sure Eddie is ok, and actually sleeping, I quietly peek inside his dirty room and sure enough he is flopped onto the bed, with the sheets wrapped around him in a tangled mess. Why doesn’t Eddie go out and get married? He would make a wonderful husband and father. Pushing the sad thought away, I quietly close the door behind me with a soft click.


Once again I find myself back at the store, sore from sitting in the same seat for over two hours. Where is Eddie? I mean I don’t want to rush him or anything but I didn’t think he would be out this long. I see another customer and smile brightly, excited, but just as I begin to day the usual greeting Eddie butts in and says, “Thank you Sam, I had the best nap ever and I don’t think my body could sleep one more wink! I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Oh, I am sure you’ll think of something”

“Hello, how was her afternoon?” I ask the school teacher.
“Perfect! Everyone was noisy but she wasn’t.” She says in a sing-song voice
“Now I am afraid I will have to reward her. Speaking of which where is the little “angle”?”
“Right over there playing with Kalley.”
“Come on Ruth, time to go.”
“Don’t worry, I’m coming.”
“Goodbye, see you tomorrow!” I promise. Our feet thud into the soft earth as we trudge home.
“So Ruth, why were you so quiet today?”
“I have a headache.”
“Well then let me get you some medicine and you need to sleep.”
“Oh, do I have to take a nap?” The medicine causes drowsiness so I say, “You can tell me after you take it.”
“Ok.” she exclaims and at last we reach the warmth of our room. I gently pour the thick liquid into a cup and I pass it to Ruth. After gulping it down her face spoils and I can’t help but laugh. “Now for bed!” I say patiently. I give her my covers and turn off the small fire place to let her rest. I decide to try again to sew her dress but when I pick up the needle the cold medal makes me flash back the feel of Ruth’s hand slipping from mine as she is taken away in my dreams, the tear in the bathroom, the anger I experienced with Eddie, the note, all the times I had feared for Ruth, and the day I heard the news of my beautiful mother and father. And I find myself unable to process thinking, so I allow myself to drift into a light sleep.

It’s a bright sunny morning when I wake from my short rest. The rain kept me up all night. I decide that I can morn over it while I walk. My clothes are wet and damp so I change into my spare ones. In about three miles I am at the river. Everything is a mess. The rain must have flooded the river. Everything in out of place and a disaster. The river is racing faster than before. Fortunately the log is still there. I go over and start to walk on it. When I am about half way there it shifts. I try to run over it but it happened too quickly. The whole log falls into the roaring river and I plunge into it. I barley get to the surface before I am sucked under again. I swallow gulps of muddy water. I bang my head violently against a rock. Just as soon as I feel like I am going to die, My face touches the surface of the water. I pick up the last little ounce of strength that I have and swim over to the bank, there I climb up and pass out.

My eyes open only to see the desk inches from the desk in front of me. My back aches and I slowly stretch from my uncomfortable position, hunched over the fabric and needle.I turn around and see Ruth still in her bed, just as I left her. Did we really sleep for that long? I realize my rumbling stomach and my sudden hunger. I walk back over to my own bed to read the clock. 1:02 am. I go shake Ruth’s gentle, cold body as I whisper “Ruth, Ruth. Time for us to go.”
“Ok.” she croaks.
I put my own arms around her and lift her out of bed. “I can do it.” She protests.
“All right.”
I lift her down and she hobbles with me to the bathroom. I am too tired to even get a candle. After we feel fresh and clean we go back to bed.
The alarm goes off too soon. I struggle out of bed. “All right Ruth, time to get up. You know what to do”
“Right.”




Now that Ruth is gone at school I am going to sew and try to get Ruth’s dress done after the last two attempts. I pick up the needle and start sewing. The needle pricks my finger. I cut a sleeve and put an extra stitch here and one there but my mind is far from what my fingers are doing. In fact, it’s whirling this way and that, trying to understand to past day. Eddie was so normal until he acted so strangely, as if he was hiding something.

I try to decipher the code in my head. What did it mean? Then it hit me. Hard. Eddie, the note, the code, argument, everything. But could it be true? I knew I recognized that handwriting from somewhere. My parents could be alive.

My eyes sting with tears for reasons unknown. Confusion, hate, surprise, shock, happiness, worry, excitement, nervousness, anger, terror, all the emotions at once fill a tear as it slides down my cheek and then shatters as it slaps the ground. I am stunned. But how, why, since when are they alive? Why didn’t Eddie tell me? I run down to the store. My face is red, my expression is wild and I must look something horrid this way but I easily swipe that from my racing mind. “Eddie, come here now. I think I know what you aren’t telling me.” His face pales like he just heard the death of someone. In this case it is the opposite, I found out someone may be alive. When we get to the room we are both out of breath, not from the walk, but from the tensions surrounding us. “Eddie, you must tell me the truth, are my parents alive?”

I try hard to keep my patience. “Eddie, are my parents alive?” He turns away. “Eddie, please answer me.”
“I don’t know.”
“What?” Eddie grabs my arm and we are soon in his room. He squats down and in the quietest voice he shouted but in a whisper he says,
“What do you know? How did you find out? Have you told anybody? How long have you known? Did someone tell you? Where? How…”
“Eddie! Hold on!”
“Ok, ok. What did you need to tell me.”
“Eddie, I know that you know my parents are…” I try to say it but only a hoarse whisper comes out. My voice after several attempts manages to choke out “alive”. Eddie sighed as though he is disappointed in me.
“I was hoping that you wouldn’t find out but like a rope loosely hanging on my neck I knew it would soon be pulled and you would find out sooner or later.”
“So it is true.”
“Yes, but barley.” My heart skips a beat, my breath stops, the gears in my head stop turning when I hear the such simple word.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, It depends on you.” This confuses me even more. “They did so well in hiding that even you didn’t find out. I told them not to send the note but they insisted. Finally they convinced me to deliver it and so I took it the next night. That is why it was so exhausted.”
“So they are here? Where? You delivered the note? Why? How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me? Why are they barely alive? Why does it depend on me? Where…” Now it was my turn to be quieted.
“Sam, Sam, hold it gall.”
“Ok then, explain.”
“Ok Sam, here I go. Your parents were never killed. We all thought they were, but they weren’t. They were captured by the Quasapainians (our enemies) but then faked dieing with the help of the doctor and four other people. Since they were supposed to be dead they were carried out on a truck with a few others and when the truck stopped they all ran out deep into the forest. They were never found after that until now.”
“Wait, but you found them.”
“Hold on, I will get to that.”
“I‘m waiting.”
“I come in now. Your parents told one person to come and get me since I was one of their close friends. It took a while but I finally got there. They told me to look out for you and to not come back unless told to. After many long years the same man came to tell me to come as soon as possible. So I had to travel all night and when I got there they gave me a note. As I said before I told them not to tell but they thought that you were old enough and responsible enough to know that they were alive.”
“So I have to be a certain age to know that my parents are alive.” Now out of all the emotions I am getting annoyed. Very annoyed.
“Yes, well, kind of. Don‘t take it that way.”
“What next? I have to be a special age to know I have a sister?”
“Hey.”
“Sorry, sorry. Carry on.”
“All right. As I was saying, I agreed to take the note and then traveled back here and before you awoke. What they didn’t tell me was what the code on the note meant or was. They couldn’t tell anyone because if it crossed a Quasapainian they would see it, figure it out and we would all be dead. That is why there is so little writing. So if you do the math I didn’t get a bit of sleep. Next question?”
“When now that I know that my parents are alive,” which I am still annoyed about “Am I old enough to know where they are?” I say once again, sarcastically.
“That answer is actually no.”
“Eddie, tell me.”
I imagine that my face is reddening from anger. My tone is getting sharper and if he doesn’t tell me this moment, this second, I might just blow it.
“I am sorry. I can’t.”
“Fine.”
I swiftly leave out the door. I am so mad and frustrated I slam myself into my pillow and scream.




The next four days weren’t easy. I haven’t told Ruth yet but even she has been acting strange. Maybe that is just me. I don’t know. That’s how it’s been. It feels like I don’t know anything. A patient came in and for the first time I didn’t know what to do. It is just strange being here by a candle when my parents are somewhere out there cold and hungry. Even thinking that they are alive gives me goose bumps. I haven’t even looked at Eddie either. Instead I send Ruth. Not one clue about the note still. The whole thing has just been bizarre. I hope that it won’t last long. I think that I’ll go to Mathew and Jack’s room, get a book and start reading it to keep my mind off things for a while. They have enough books to fill a library and they said that I am always ok to go get one as long as it is not one that they aren’t currently reading. So I go in and knock on their door, wait for an answer but there isn’t one. Oh well. I will come back another day. Maybe I have an old one in my room.

Dang-it. I thought that did have one but I don’t. I go over to the old backpack my mom gave me and open it. All of the sudden it rips open into a hidden pocket since it is so old. It is stained ancient looking brown and the fabric it so old that it probably wouldn’t last another second. At first I am sad and disappointed but then something falls out. No a couple things. As I pick up and old, dusty book the cover falls off immediately Since now the papers are just a stack I gently lift them as though they were alive. I tuck them back into the cover and then take one of my only cloths and wipe all of the grum, dirt, dust, etc. It doesn’t help much because that is also covered in grime. No, but how? It is my mom's favorite book. But why was it hidden? “The Girl Who Stood for a Million” it was called. I never really got a chance to read it. I open it. “Oh my goodness!” I exclaim. It is still readable! I at-ke it to my bed. The Girl who Stood for a Million I read. After I am about 5 chapters into it I find her bookmark. I remember when I made it for a Christmas present and she had used it for every book. I fight hard to not let myself cry and win the battle. I paper slips out it has been folded many times and tightly. After about 3 minutes of picking at a piece of paper I finish. It is some sort of code. Wait a second! I scramble all around my room, dumping everything out. “Ugh, Eddie!” I guess that I will have to face him now. He took the note. “Eddie!”
“Annie!” He exclaims almost sounding delighted. “I haven’t seen ya around!”
“Oh ya, I was, um,” my mind is scrambling for some excuse “sick” I blurt
“Oh that is a shame.” he is acting like nothing ever happened.
“Eddie, you are just making this harder for me.”
“What, don’t feel bad tell me.”
“I need the note” I whisper almost hoping he didn’t hear.
“Sam, I… hold on here is another customer.”
Ugh. Eddie always has a way to sound like the innocent and you’re the one that is doing wrong I think to myself.
“Eddie, do not say I can’t.”
“But…”
“My parents told me to have it. You were only supposed to deliver it. You don’t disobey them. Do you?”
“Sam, now you are making it hard on me.”
“Do you?”
“Ok, ok. I will give it to you but first tell me why.” Once again my mind scrambles “I, I just want it to um, have another memory of her. The familiar hand writing. You don’t have a clue of what I am going through right now. Besides it is not like I am going to spread it to the world.”
“Fine, here.” I snatch it, walk carefully to the corner and then sprint. My fingers tremble as I decode the message. After what seems like forever, I finish:

Akataimian forest 258

But that is across the globe. Is that where she is? And why are there numbers? First I have to do something.

“Hey Eddie, I need to ask a favor. This needs to get to Mom. It will give her comfort, memories. Our link. You wouldn’t get it. It is one of those Mother to daughter things.” I hand over the grimy book.
“Sure, I’ll try.”
“Thank you, you don’t know how much that would mean to me.” The actual reason is to let her know that I got the message. To let her know that I am coming.

I know, I am crazy. I am practically about to commit suicide because the Akataimian Forest is the border line for the two sides and I am eighteen but I have to find them if it is the last thing I do. (literally) I will leave Ruth with Eddie. I will let Eddie know by leaving him a note that he will receive long after I leave. Money wise, I have saved up and should have plenty for the “trip”. It is morning and I am packing when Ruth says, “Sam, don’t go. Take me with you.” I am shocked.
“What do you mean Ruth?”
“I know mother and daddy are alive.”
“How! Wha..”
“I saw the note and we just learned to read. I have heard yours and Eddie‘s conversations. I even know where you are going. The Aktmeain Torest.”
“Ruth, you have to understand. If they see you they will tear you apart in a blink of an eye.”
“I don’t care.”
“No Ruth you are not coming.”
“But…”
“No” Then she simply walks away. Ugh. Now I feel guilty but there is no possible way for her come. Last but not least I put in what is left of the back pack. I take out two dollars of my own money. (Man that is a lot) for a loaf of bread, One for 20 crackers, another dollar for a water jug, and two more for extra food. I go to the store, get all my stuff but when I get to the counter to pay and I see Eddie it is hard. It was as if well, as if he was my father. I probably would never see him again. I cant look at him in the eye. I have never realized how close we were. I wish that I could tell him everything but he loves me to much to let me go. I put my stuff on the counter and then he just stared at it. Like it was the proof of the mystery he had been looking for all his live. I felt guilty. I don’t know why. After a while he strangles my wrist. “Sam, don’t do it.” No. How. Please don’t let it be what I think it is. Don’t let him find out.
I put on my best confused face even though I know it is useless.
“I may be old, but that doesn’t mean hat I am as dumb as a post. You know not to go. You cant. No one could. Especially at you age. You….” While he talks I slither my hand pull out the cash, thrust it on to the counter and run. The ONLY reason that I paid was because then the police would know and they would catch me in a heart beat. I run and run. I have tears pouring down my cheeks uncontrollably. I grab the bag in my room a jump the window. I do it easily because as a child I did it all the time for fun. As I do I take a last glance up only to see Eddie balling like me, begging over and over through his tears “Please Anne, don’t please. Don’t do it.” Before I disappear to a dot. I shout, “I have to.” Then he is gone and I land with a thud. From then on I cant tell. My mind swims through my tears. Finally when my heart almost explodes from running so much I trip and land in dirt. “Oh great. My face is scratched up my knees too and I am all ready crying. Great way to start.” night is falling. I climb into a ditch put my head in the grass and I am gone.



The sun it up and I have never seen anything so bright. The building does not get much sunlight. When I squint I can fell where the tears were. Where I am I? Is the first out of many question that pops in my head as I look around. Since I live in a wealthy building (I know it sounds crazy but it is true) I have really never seen the outside. People lying around on the dry dust, if you weren’t there then you would been begging for food. It almost seemed as if they were waiting for death. I try to focus on something else before I go any further. It is almost winter and no snow! With out thinking I start walking. Where? Into the world of darkness.

I cannot believe that I forgot water! I guess that I was in such a rush to get out of there it slipped my mind. I have the jug but nothing inside of it. Maybe I can find a well or something. As I walk I less and less people. I sit down to take a break. The thought pops up in my mind I never looked at the rest of the stuff that was in the secret pocket of the bag pack. I open up my back, and get out the backpack. When I have searched it thoroughly I come up with a map, a key, a piece of paper with the words Quepan erianse plosq and in parentheses it says (Qu-pan er-aunts-a Plock) and a candle. The map makes no sense at all not a clue of what the candle is for nor the key. The note must be another language and why did I need to know how to pronounce it?
I don’t know. As usual. I better get to work. I sit up and start walk after an hour if feels like I am just floating. My mind is in another world going to one thought to another. After about 6 miles I come upon a house I run to the door. I rapidly knock at the door. “Hello?” A man stands there. A tough man it looks. Eye brows fierce. Eyes a gray as if I was starring into a wolf. Shoulders are broad. Cloths ragged but no so much. Lips cracked. Shoes, none. Face is stern. 43 years maybe. I must have been starring to long because soon he barks “say what you want or get!” voice, rough but gentle in a way. “Sorry sir, all I wanted was a drink. One sip even I will be on my way if you wish”
“Very well then. On with ya.” are you kidding me. “Very well then thanks” then I walk out. “Wait! Where ya from?”
“Semastey building.”
“Very well then get in.” I step in to find an organized house with not much stuff. “In here” he gruffs. I step to a kitchen. “Name, sercretary number, destiny, and age first.”
“All I want is a drink of water.” I say annoyed.
“Say it or leave.”
“Ok, ok Sam Carmix, wait how can I trust you.”
“The question is how can I trust you? ”
“All I want is water. Fine I will tell you but not my sercretary number. My destiny is uh, air port and I am 18, born on May 14, 2103.”
“I need your number” he says
“Fine I will be on my way” I turn and walk
“I am on your side. And I know where you are going, I know who you are. Lilly and Nore.” I freeze. Right there. “How do you know my parents?”
“First the number.”
“18690734126”
“Good come.” he sits me down. “Here is your water. Now. First where is Eddie and is he safe?”
“Yes, how do you know him?”
“Sam I know you well. Your parents too. Eddie very well. Do you want proof? You are headed to the Akataimian forest. Ruth is now” he stops to think. “Five, yes that is right five. You know where your parents are because you got a note that said but in a code.” I drink my water from a cup. I get up and then trip onto the floor and I fall through.

When I wake up I fell a moist wash cloth on my side. I ache and it hurts to move. I mumble something and in a few seconds I find kids circles around me all jabbering wildly. One girl who looks the age of maybe 15 quiets them my arm finds my side with a small gash. “My name is Susanna, we are helping you” I sit up grimacing with pain. The man appears again. “Thank you Susanna, you have helped much.” and after he says that she leaves. “Ok kids off you go.” they all scurry away like little mice from a cat. He brings me new water and sits down next to me. “Now how are you?” I sit up painfully. “Fine I answered but know you answer mine. First where am I and who are these people?”
“This is the Child‘s House. I keep orphans safe from the war till it is done. I watch over them. No one knows that they are here. That is why I needed you secretary number. You could have been a spy or som’in. I have 71 kids here. Ages are three months to 15.”
“Really? Well besides the entrance I went through where is the real entrance?”
“You are a question asker aren’t you? “I can't help smiling because the tips of his rose too.
“Behind the house there is a tree which you can easily pull out and you crawl under.”
“No offence but you need to make the floors thicker.” I say sarcastically
“Hah, funny. How is your side.”
“Fine.”
“Good. I am sorry I just cant help it. Are you sure that Eddster oh I mean Eddie ok?”
“Yes! Would you stop asking that? That is like the fifth time! Why do you care anyways?”
“Friends?” he questions.
“Friends? Friends? That was not supposed to be answered in a question! Ok now let me make this simple and clear. I want a strait forward answer. Who. Are. You?”
“My name is Samuel Davie” Samuel Davie Samuel Davie I have heard that name before but my mind cant connect and my side hurts badly the treatment is wearing off and so I lay back down but just before my eyes shut I suddenly know where I have heard the name and why he knows Eddie so well. He is the messenger.

“You are… You’re the… but how?”
“Yes I am. How? Well I just am. It just happens to be that you come here at this time and I am here and who I am. I am the one who sent the note and got Eddie.”
“But Eddie said that is was a young army solider.” I realize what I just said. ”Oh I didn’t mean it that way.”
“ I don’t care. Hmph. I don’t know why said that. Probably just trying to fool you.”

“So my life has just been a lie?”
“I guess so if you want to put it that way.”
“Oh ok.” My angry fire is rising but I quickly put it out.
“You do know that it was for your own good. Right? You do know that Eddie risked his life for you. Me too. We lie to protect. Not to hurt. I promise. Not to hurt.” all of the sudden I feel queasy but not from my side. It is more of a feeling like a whack across your head and you realize how guilty you should be.
“I am feeling a bit tired.” I say trying to be convincing. When I lay down it feels like all of my guts shift to one side. My eye lids droop and the next thing I know I am asleep.

“Ma! Run! Run! Run!” She steps into the deadly trap and then she is gone. “Ma! No you ca…” “Sam, Sam. Up darling oh please oh please get up.” As my eyes flutter open I see glimmering eyes. “Ruth?” I question but when my hand goes to my side and I wince I remember where I am. “Sorry. I thought that you were Ru…”
“It is ok. Do you remember where you are?”
“Yes”
“I am Susanna.” Oh Susanna. I am so grateful it is her.
“Bad dream?”
“yes”
“Get them often?”
“Yes. Very”
“Me too.”
“What? Why?”
“My parents were lost too.”
“Oh sorry.”
“No it is a relief I have someone to talk too. Hey, do feel good enough to walk?”
“I don’t know but I cannot get one more wink of sleep.”
“Me neither. Come on.” her hands help me up and I can some how tell she has helped often with things like this. I am able to get up but slowly. She leads me to a room with a scruffy, worn, bed with a blanket. I dripping candle glimmer. She sits on the bed and pats for me to sit next to her. In the light I see a white cotton night gown that she is in. she has blue, sober, sad eyes. Short and skinny. Long brown hair. Pretty, I think. I slowly go over.
“Sam. What is it like when you are older and your free? Free to do what you like?” I pause. Not knowing what to say. Why? Because I don’t know myself. I think that she notices my hesitation so I calmly say
“Well. I guess that is why I set out. I mean. I don’t know. I don’t know because back a my home I have Ruth to take care of. I am Her one parent.”
“Who is Ruth?”
“My life. Sister. Friend. She is 5 and has long brown hair. Sparkling blue eyes. Like you” at this comment she blushes a deep red. I can also tell that this girl was probably not noticed.
“Where is she?” she asks.
“At home with Eddie.”
“Home? May I ask where that is?”
“Well, Semastey building.”
“Wow. I wonder what it is like. Many friends?”
“No.” I look down. “There are no 18 year olds unless you include the boys.”
“Wow. I sorry.”
“Don’t be. I don’t have time for it anyways. Like I said I have Ruth to care for.”
“Do you get electricity?” you should be offended by this but I am not. It is rude because if you have electricity it means that you are rich so it is pretty much like are you rich? But she doesn’t know.
“Yes, some but only for needs. No lights or anything like that. So little we don’t really even count it.”
“What is it like?”
“What is what like?” I say
“the electricity.” she says
“well, when it is hot the stuff can make it cold. You can burn fire without lighting it, marvelous.”
“marvelous.” she repeats. This is the first time I realize her funny little accent.
“Where are you from?”
“Copper Vill.”
“Really I have never heard of it.”
“Not surprised. Not many people know about it. It is a little old town. Country. We all had farms. Not big. Tiny really.”
“Suzanna, if you don’t want to answer this you don’t have to but this information may help me,” I now whisper calm and soothing “Where are your parents die and how? Like I said do not answer if you cant.”
“No it is fine”
“are you sure” I recall telling about my parents death and choking up.
“Yes. Positive.”
“You are a strong young woman.” Susanna blushes like a child again trying to hide it. And I smile.
“Well one day when my younger brother got home he was very proud for some reason. Happy and joyful.”
“how old is he?” Then I slap my hand over my mouth because I realize I interrupted. She giggles and I do to and I hope that it was too dark for her to see my blush.
“seven. I asked him why but he would not tell. Finally when po, That is how we say pa in our country, came home he busted out “Guass (guess) what?”
“What?” Mo (ma) says
“I got rewarded.”
“How?” said Po
“She asked me for my religion, Po’s job and where I live. I answered and I got candy!” At that minute everything went so fast it was all a blur. Mo sprinted out the back door holding on to all of us and Po followed but we were too late. I escaped but they were all taken. Gone.”
“What did the soldiers look like?”
“Blue suits, red and purple hats. Black shoes.”
“Where do they go?”
“No idea.”
“Hmmmmm. I am sorry.”
“How did yours die?” she questions
“Well,” I whisper ”They aren’t dead” When I say that she jumps back.
“But how?”
“Well I don’t know that for sure. I am pretty positive though.” I go through and tell her the whole story. While I talk she listens intensely. I never would have thought how nice it is to tell someone this who knows what you are going through. When I wince because of my side she instructs me to lay down. I do and then rub my cold fingers on my eyes. Then I shift to my uninjured side, put my arms under my head, and lean my head back.
“Sam, what is the happiest moment that you have had in your life?” I turn back over and think.
“I really do not know. I say quietly but not in a whisper. I hope I will find it someday though.”
“Some day.” She mumbles under her breath.
“What?” I say
“That word, it is just.”
“It is just what” I say.
“It will ruin your life.”
“What?” I was expecting a weird answer but this one,
“Someday I will seek the world a person will say. But then they realize that they have to do something else. Some day they will tell their children I will explore unknown land. He will come of old age and realize that some day is gone. Someday I will get this done. But I never will. Some day. Do not wait. I warn you, just go.” We stay silent for a long while. After maybe 20 minute I say,
“Wow.” That is it just, “wow”.
“Sam, who are you? An angel? Am I just in a dream?” I giggle.
“No. No angel. Not a dream.” A warm peaceful, happy feeling passes through us.
“If I was an angel would I do this?” I reach to her sides and pinch like I do with Ruth and it tickles her and she screams with laughter. We sit there laughing for no good reason for a while. I feel like two children doing something childish. Then we stop.
“I have never seen you smile.” She turns away embarrassed.
“No I like it. I turns you into a whole new different person. I like it a lot.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Very. You are beautiful.”
“Thank you” and it is true. When she smiles she is not the sober sad person I saw.
“What are you doing here?”
“Well I am sort of in charge of the children you could say, but someda… But Once they are ready, I am ready I want to be someone. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yes Savanna. Yes I do.” She was talking about something but my eyes were too heavy to listen. The last thing that I remembered is that this is a conversation that I will never forget.

Crook-a-totle-do! I hear a Crooked rooster call instead of the building alarm. For a second all is pitch black and then the world jumps up. Running, hustling working. ME? Just sitting. Around me I see busy little kids buzz by but when they pass me they stare like I am an alien. That is welcoming I think. I sit up and realize that my Side is almost healed but I am stiff. I must have been sleeping for at least two days. But how? I look around for Savanna but I see no sign of her. I get up and walk around. Kids in ragged cloths still zip by. Now I see Samuel. His back is facing towards me so I cough to get his attention. He shuffles but doesn’t move. I grabbed his arm and pulled. He gives a sigh. Then his shoes turn. I slowly look up. I am not looking at Samuel Davie. I am starring into the deep blue eyes of Eddie Muster.
I flame up in fury. “What are you doing here!” I scream. The whole house freezes.
I do not care.
“You have ruined everything!” You may think that it would be easy to run away but you can’t. At least not with Eddie. To me he is a father. You can’t leave him twice.
“I can explain” I gasp to say something but I am too late. A sharp needle is injected to my arm. I whip around and get a glimpse of Savannas face as she mouths “I am sorry” before I knock out.
I sit up for the third time. Samuel is next to me.
“Do not talk yet. Let me explain. When I told Eddie that you were here he instructed me to drug you for two days so that he could arrive. I guess that he knew you would do this. He wants to help you. Go easy on him okay.” Soon as he says that he gets up and leaves. Eddie walks in.
“You cannot go.” I say
“I know. Well, I am. ”
“No”
“Yes. I am.” There is no use in arguing besides, he can walk with me a little but then I will ditch him. Wait if he is here… I panic.

“Where is Ru…” The little short figure staggers out. I cannot hold back “Ruth!”

“Sam.” We visit and bond. The next day though, we head out.

Honestly I do not know what Eddie was thinking. Especially about taking Ruth. My plan is still to ditch them when I get the chance but I guess they are good company. We walk along the dusty road in silence. I guess that all of our heads are busy in thought. Including mine. I can tell that Ruth is getting tired but, she trys not to show it. I enjoy being out of the building. I never really saw the sun. We had heard stories and learned about it but never saw it. I can’t believe that there was a whole world out there and I didn’t even know. I wonder how Ruth is taking this. From the outside, pretty well. On the inside, who knows. I look down at my feet. Step after step kicking up a cloud of filthy dust. My face all ready is covered in the stuff. Eddie has a map to the boat shore where we will travel half way. Then by train to Canstity country and from there travel by foot because it will be too risky to use public transportation there to the Akataimian Forest. Eddie travels this way when he delivers. Still no one has said a word. I wonder how long we have been walking. I am not going to use what I think because to me it feels like forever and for all I know it could be thirty minutes. I look up to the sun and judge time from there. We started at sunrise and it is about three fourths across the endless, dry sky. An ugly bird soars across. I decide to break the silence. “How many more miles?” I tell Eddie. Ruth looks up. Eddie rumples the paper flat. “Hmmm. Twenty five? Maybe. Somewhere around there.” He says hopefully. I give up, I think to my self. But somehow my feet still walk. Why is Eddie doing this? Why would any one go through this? Samuel’s words crawl into my head. I realize that the only reason he is doing this is because he loves me.

Finally after maybe an hour we start looking for some where to stop. We decide under a large rock. Shelter from weather (if any.) The planet has not gotten snow since 2205. Some rain but not much. Eddie decide not to have any food yet because we ate at the child place and we will get some on the boat but just in case. He said that he has had situations where he couldn’t get food for five days and only had boiled salt water to drink. We let Ruth have just a little bit of bread. The sun sunk behind the brown hills and we set of to sleep.

The sun was brighter today when we got up. The rock still hovered over us with its cool, black shadow. We decided to get going but since Ruth was still asleep I made a sling out of my jacket, tied around my back and we put her in it so she would not be too tired along the way. I was used to carrying her weight and the sling helped a ton. Same as yesterday, we start walking. Stride after stride. Your head gets dizzy, and then is goes blank and the next thing you know your head is thinking about something you don’t even know about.
“One more mile” Eddie said.
“Really?” I said surprised. Today it seemed shorter for some reason. What didn’t feel shorter was the last mile. You know when you are trying to run a certain distance and it goes by pretty quick and you see the finish line but it takes forever to get to it? Ya. That is how I am feeling but ten times worse. Last night I slept and woke up twenty minutes later. Then I would finally get to sleep but the same thing would happen. I do not why. Alarming my thought I feel a faint tug on my ragged shirt. “Ruth?”
“Can we have breakfast?” She whispers. Her wide, beautiful, curios eyes questioning me. I walk a little closer to Eddie and whisper in his hear low enough so that Ruth cannot hear.
“Should I give her some bread?”
“Sure. Just a little though.”
“Ok.” I reach for the sack. The warm fabric touches my skin. The little seeds fall as I un wrap the crumpled “paper” and tear off a tiny portion for Ruth to nibble on. That is when I see a clump of bushes.
“Hey Eddie, hold on.” I rush over. “Wait a sec. I know these. Eddie! Come here. Don’t you sell these at the store?” He hobbles over.
“Humph. Yes. I think so. Ya. Seeme. That is the name of it.”
“Pick it. We can chew it to keep our tongues busy.” I grab a handful and chew until there is a huge wad in my mouth. The taste is bitter but it dies out. I give some to Ruth. Eddie is taking bit by bit so I shout, “Come on. It isn’t poisonous…” I grab at my throat and cough. Eddie starts to rush over. And I can’t help but laugh. “I am joking!”
“Ha, ha, hah, aha. Funny. Hilarious. Not again.”
“Ok ok. Just eat it.” Ruth has a sour, bitter look on her face like she took her hands and squished it all up. I can’t help but laugh. She gives me an angry look.
“Oh sorry. Not funny. Not funny.” I tease. Another look shoots up at me so I dismiss the subject. As soon as we get up to the top of the hill. I see it. The most beautiful thing in the world. (even though I have not seen much of it). Eddies eyes widen too. Ruth is mesmerized. Breathtaking. Gorgeous. Stunning. Marvelous. Striking. Magnificent. Spectacular. Extravagant. The Ocean.

For about five minutes we stand there. Watching the waves dance effortlessly onto the dazzling, yellow sand. Then sashay back to the bottomless sea. Come in, go out. Finally Eddie says, breaking the silence,
“I know. You can't even describe it. Sam, we are here.” Out of nowhere Ruth starts running. We chase after her. With the wind in my face, I feel something. Free. Ruth trips and we all tumble over. Eddie starts laughing his funny little chuckle and we all join in. Soon we are in tears From laughing so hard. I am covered in sand. I sprint over to the water. While I rinse off I feel a scoop of water dumped over me. I flip around.
“Ruth!” She doubles over laughing. I rush over to Eddie and soak him. His face turns dark. I feel ashamed.
“You will be sorry for that!” The he rushes over and dumps me in the ocean. The water fight goes on until we heave ourselves up to the sandy bank and collapse on our backs. Ruth falls asleep while Eddie and I go check when the next boat leaves. Not until tomorrow. We decide to spend the night on the beach under a rock. Unlike our other rock, this one is bowl shaped and has no shelter from weather but we decide to take the chance, besides if precipitation does come we can always crawl under.
When I lay in bed that night looking up at the shimmering, luminous stars I thought. I thought about how I didn’t want to leave Ruth and Eddie. Also about how long I could go. Would I ever see this place again? Semastey Building? Our room? The shop? I hope. And I kept hoping and hoping until I was fast asleep.




In the morning I heard a ship horn. “Ruth, Eddie! Get up! The boat is leaving.” In a second Eddie is up. I put Ruth back in the “sack” and we run over, get our tickets and hop on the ship. It is small. In between one of the fancy cruise ships and a wooden sailboat. On the outside.

We are shown to our cabin and I am surprised to see an expensive room. Two actual beds, a small round table, rug, and restroom. Eddie and I take a seat on two uncomfortable, wooden chairs. In the restroom we find a tiny refrigerator and above the beds a rack for a closet. I put Ruth back on a bed and let her sleep in. She is exhausted from walking all day long. Eddie and I decide to go have a look around. At the deck, There is a small pool, a running track, a snack bar, a stage, and a row of chairs. I am shocked because only REALLY rich people get on these.
“Eddie, how on the planet do you afford this?”
“The captain and I are best friends. I know how to make deals.” On the second deck there is a real restaurant. I have never been to one.
“Let's go tonight.” Eddie says.
“How?!” I am thrilled.
“I told you.”
“Ya, but I didn’t know that it included the food!” After the restaurant I find a washroom, a child’s playroom, a small theatre for dances and shows, and a service room. The rest is the cabins. I feel like a princess. A spoiled, rich, princess. And guess what? I am loving every second of it.
When we get back to the cabin Ruth is sitting up, eating a delicious tomato sandwich. When she sees my questioned face she points to the fridge. I walk over and to my surprise when I open it, it is overstuffed with mouth-watering food. “Eddie, look!!!”
“Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. Look in the fridge.”
“A little late.” I say but my mouth all ready hurts from grinning so wide.
“Can I have one?”
“Sure. Help yourself.”
“Oh boy!” I decide on a jelly sandwich first so that I don’t get an upset stomach over too rich of food. My mouth is bursting with flavor. This is too grand to be true. Since we got up so early we decide to rest. There is not a better feeling than lying in a bed with a full stomach and going to sleep. (In addition, it is the first time I have ever felt it.)
When I wake, I decide to take Ruth to the kid’s playroom she can have fun. It is hard enough running away and following your big sister all day. When we get there her face beams. She lets go of my hand and takes off to the play set which includes a slide, bounce house, mini-house, ball pit and swings. I go have a seat. She hurdles first to the bounce house. I have heard about one but never in my life have seen one. Bounce fall, bounce trip, bounce, bounce, bounce. For the first time she is really having fun. A couple of hours later Eddie meets us and takes us to the restraint. The food was unspeakable. I cannot even explain how marvelous it was. I had something called I think a hamburger and some dence fries. I wonder how they make it so well. I have never tasted anything so good. Now that we were stuffed, we went to the pool. Since Ruth did not know how to swim, I went into it with her and let her play in the shallow end. The water was heated! Who has heard of such a thing? It is crazy! I finally went back and sat at the table actually finding myself bored. Therefore, I decide to go down to the gift shop but I promise myself not to buy anything, which should not be a problem. I am used to that. When I step into the room on the soft carpet, everything is bright, colorful, cheerful and “new”. Stuff animals hang there on racks with their black, beady eyes peering down at you saying, “Buy Me. Buy Me!” In my head, oh how dearly Ruth would love one of those. The only things she has are the rags that I made her. “Ah!” I jump up find Eddie sitting there.
“You want one? Take one. We get a couple things free.”
“Really?” I say. This trip just gets better and better. I look all around me to see all that I have to chose from. There is everything from pigs to princesses, but since we were so far away from home, I decided on a simple doll. Eddie said, “Is that it?” and I said, “yes, thank-you.” Therefore, I went up, paid, and went back to the room. “Ruth, I have a surprise for you” her wide brown eyes look up.
“Look” I say as I pull out the manufactured doll
“Really? I it is really for me?” I smile and she runs up to grab it.
“Here you go.”
“Oh thank-you, thank-you!” She says enchanted.
“You can play with her in bed Miss. Look at the clock!” The day has flown by for me and soon I realize I am a little drained too.
“All right Eddie you get this room and we will have the other.”
“Fine by me.” Says Eddie.
“Good night!” I say not knowing that when I wake, we will not be where the ship has planned.

Beep. Beep. Beep. “Ruth, can you please get the alarm off?” I mumble. Suddenly I feel Eddie violently shaking me.
“Get up! Get UP!”
“What is going on?”
“We are sinking!” He cries out. The effect hits me.
“Ruth! Ruth!” Panic completely takes over. I get out of control. Death thoughts holler at me.
“Ruth get a life vest! Now!”
“Stay calm.” Says Eddie.
“Calm down? How?”
“Follow me.” I swoop up Ruth and run up the stairs with Eddie. When we get to the deck, people are swarming around crying and screaming. I look down and find my hand empty.
“Eddie! Eddie!” I scream through tears but am drowned out because of everyone else.
“Eddie! Eddie! Where are you?” Please answer me!
“Ruth, Sam! Over here!” I see Eddie waving franticly for us to come over.
“Eddie!” I propel through all of the people and climb into a small lifeboat fit for two as it is lowered down.
“Sam, it will be ok. There are more than enough lifeboats for twice the number of people. Everyone will survive. Now grab the oars and paddle!” As I do so, I look to my right and see the sinking ship. All that food and stuffed animals, gone. Sam stop thinking about that! I say to myself. Ruth is curled up in the middle of the boat trying to keep warm. The air is salty and suddenly I do not think that the ocean is so beautiful anymore. Soon the screams start to die out as more get onto boats. Eddie and I paddle out farther hoping to get to land. It is silent for a while and my eyes get heavier and heavier until they cannot open back up again.

I had a short sleep because there were only a few hours of night left since the ship sank. Morning came and the deadly ocean sparkled. I was thirsty but I said nothing.
Eddie was still rowing so I picked my oars up and started too.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“Hopefully to land.”
“Good.”
For hours, we sit there boiling in the blazing sun.
In silence.
It was somewhat awkward you could say but it was actually nice because you could just relax and think. I liked it. Soon Ruth said, “I am thirsty. When are we there?” I glance over to Eddie for an answer but I do not get one.
“I don’t know Ruth. I hope soon.” Eddie still does not say anything. We still row and Ruth does not complain again. When the sun starts to set, I decide to rest but Eddie keeps on rowing. It is as if he is in a trance. I think silently to myself. Ruth is barely hanging on. She started to complain about water but Eddie told her to stop and I think that hurt her a bit but I did not dare say anything. Finally, I gather up the guts to ask about around what time it is. I know that out of all the questions that I could ask that is a lame one but when you are out rowing in the middle of the ocean for almost two days (or at least that is what I think), you have to be smarter than a genius to know the time. Therefore, that is why I asked the question. This is the answer I get, “Humph. Grumble, grumble. Do not know. Cough, squeak.” Ok then. You were a lot of help. Slowly over the next hour (Or once again I thought) my head started to twinge. It grew into an unbelievable throbbing. I do not know if I have ever felt anything so terrible in my head. Every thump of my heart brought a new strike of pain. The vivid sunrays made it so much worst especially because it was sunset. My lips were cracked and my tongue was dry. However, I kept going through some source of will I had. The pain in my head traveled from one place to another spreading quickly. When it was dark Eddie stilled rowed and rowed until when my head was appalling, my throat was excruciating, and I could not think at all I threw down my oars and shouted, “Eddie! Wake up! This is no game! We are people! We talk and try to help each other! Even when times are as terrible as this! Eddie! Get up!” Then with some of the precious liquid in my body, I sobbed. Suddenly out of nowhere I held up the oars and said “Eddie, do you want these? Then wake up or else they will drop!” Suddenly his eyes opened, he looked at me and stared blankly. He is mad. That is it. He has gone mad. “Eddie, please. Please.”
“Sam, I am all right. Shhh. We all need rest. I was silent because it is in my custom to be silent for as long as possible and only think of that person when somebody loved dies.” and even now I do not quite know what happened but we finally went to sleep…





We woke up early at sunrise Picked up the oars and started to row.
“Land!” Out on the horizon I see a strip of land ahead. Eddie jumps up.
“Land! Land!” We row harder than we ever have in that cramped boat. “Ruth, wake up we are there.”
“Where?” She replies.
“Um, I am not sure. Eddie where are we anyways?”
“When I come to think of it I am not so sure either.” In about an hour, we hear this odd sound.
“Eddie what is that sound?” When I go over to look at him his face goes pale.
“Eddie what is that sound?” I repeat.
“Freeze!” He shouts.
“Those are the drums of soldiers!”
“Well then won‘t they help us?” I am confused.
“No. Listen to the beat: One, one two, one, one, and two. They are against us.” I look closer to see that he is right. Just as Suvanna said Red suits, blue and purple hats.
“Eddie, I know this sounds wrong, but we must get on the shore.”
“Impossible.”
“Well, I am going to try.”
“No, we have to wait until night.”
“I will not sit in this boat for a whole day in this blasted sun watching these cursed people march back and forward with those drums! I will not! I‘ll die trying!” Eddie lets out a sigh and says “Fine. I don‘t know how but fine. I will try. But first we must think of a plan…” I cut him off and say, “Simple, We go around.”
“Yes, if it were only that easy. That also is impossible.”
“Why?” Suddenly Ruth says, “Because of that.” We look over to where she was pointing and see what she saw. A wall swarming with guards hidden behind the trees.
“Oh, boy. How on the planet will we get past that?”
“I am still not sure we will have to think of a plan.”
“Obviously” I say. He gives me a look and I laugh. He gives a little giggle but then we both stop.
“So what do we do now?”
“Think.” Yes of course. I think to myself.
“Look over there by that hangover, we would have to swim over and duck under that”
“But I can‘t swim” says Ruth.
“Then now is the time to learn”
“No Sam, that really is a problem”
“I know.” It is hard to think right now when every one feels sick.
“Well, this is not one of the easiest plans but we could always let out most of the air in this thing let Ruth barley floats in it so that only her head is above the water. Then we would have to untie this rope and drag her along with us.” Eddie explains.
“Ok then let‘s go!” Eddie lets out the air in the tube while I untie the rope and strap down the oars. When the raft starts to sink, Eddie and I get off and when it sinks midway with Ruth on it he closes up the airway.
“Are you all good Ruth?”
“Yep”
“Now, we all have to be silent. Got it?”
“I guess so.”
“Let‘s go.” I say. Slowly Eddie and I start to swim out. One, one two, one, two. Then it repeats. That is what we focus on while we swim. Also the fact that we are centimeters away from death. We try to stay under the water as long as possible so that the soldiers will not notice us. Including Ruth. Suddenly a voice breaks the silence.
“Hey, what is that over there?” says the gruff voice of a sergeant.

Eddie and I freeze. To shocked to move. The marching stops and they look over to where the general is pointing. At us. Out of the corner of my eye I see Eddie look around for some escape route all ready but deep down inside we both know that it is useless. I close my eyes thinking of how they are going to torture us.
Maybe you should just drown yourself now, get it over with.
No, not yet.

“Oh never mind, troops. Carry on. Just a sqezzle.” I have never been so relieved in my life. Except from when I wake up from one of my dreams. We swim even faster to the ledge and drag Ruth in.
“Now what?” I say.
“Ok. What we will have to do is this… Ruth go‘s first. See over there, it is a hidden cave. Since she is small, she will have to crawl through. It is not big enough to fit us. That cave leads to the other side. Once there she will lift the first stone out. In there is a hidden hole she will climb in. just before she closes the hole she will take this rock, and throw it. This will distract the guards. At this very short time you and I will run through that door to a peacewarably‘s house. (A friend that hides people like us) Ruth on the other hand will climb through the underground tunnel up to the house and that is where we will meet.” Eddie finishes.
“Ready, Set, GO!” and with that Ruth ran off through the little hole.
“Now, wait for the signal.” After a short while, we hear a kur-plunk and we run. Eddie splits through the door as I follow. We run past the guards who are confused about the sound and realize they have been fooled just as we enter the house.
“Sam, what did that paper say in your backpack?” I reach over and check. On the ship, I had put it into a new waterproof bag.
“Quepan erianse plosq”
I say trying to pronounce it. Suddenly the door opened.

“Come in quick, they will be after you!” A kind looking old woman says. She lifts up the rug to find a trap door, opens it, then lets us in down through a basement. From there we rush down until the middle of the stairs and when she taps the wall in a certain beat, it reveals a bedroom.
“Get in, quick!” She rushes us. As soon as she says that, there is a pounding on the door.
“Let us in Mary, a prisoner has escaped!”
“Oh, oh dear. That is terrible. Let me come help find them.” Eddie and I look at each other confused. On the bed, it says a note “under the bed” So Eddie and I look at each other and hear this plunk, plunk, plunk. I look under and see a trap door. “Help me, Sam?”
“Ruth!” I exclaim. I rip it up and hug her as if I will never see her again. “You did it Ruth! You did it!” She hugs me but after a while, we look over to Eddie and he looks at us casually with a cup of water in his hand.
“Want some?” He says.
“Yes! Please! Where is it?” He hands us a cup as we gulp it down, along with another one, and another one after that.
“I don‘t think anything has ever tasted so good.” I say.
“I know.”
After we were filled with water, we found some sandwiches in the refrigerator we did not care if they were for us or not we ate them. Finally, like on that glorious ship, we went to sleep. We woke up in the morning I assume, and were treated with eggs.
“Eddie, how did you know about all of those trap doors and tunnels and stuff?” I ask.
“Books. I study them secretly. The covers say different things than on the inside.”
“Did one say Physics?”
“Yep.” Oh so that is why there was a book on the ground that said physics in Eddie’s room.
“That code on the paper is the password for our side of the war.”
“What does it mean?” I ask.
“You know, I really never did find out.” The old woman steps into the room and Ruth blurts out, “Who are you and why are you helping us and the guards?”
“Oh sweetie, I am only here to help you. Not those foul, rotten guards.”
“What is you name? And who are you?”
“You can call me Mary, or Lady Independence and I am one of the people who help people like you escape the Wall.”
“In that case,” I say, “Thank-you very much!”
“Oh honey, chin up, and end the bloody war! Is what I have to say?” Eddie lets out his hand and says, “Nice to meet you Mary, My name is Eddie and this is Sam and her sister Ruth.”
“Nice to meet you all. Now if there is anything that you need, ring the bell over there on the wall. However, I must warn you, when other people are even near this house, be silent. Please.”
“Yes, yes, of course. We are good at that.” Eddie says.
“Well then dearies, I must be off. Do not leave. You must stay at least three days to recover.”
“Fine by me.” Eddie says.

And that we do for three, whole, days.



“Eddie, I think that we better get going today.”
I say to him.
“Yes, I agree. Let‘s get Ruth up.” I run over to ring the bell. Once my finger touches it Mary it at my side.
“Yes cupcake?” Says the kind old woman.
“I wish not to, but today we must leave.”
“Oh, that is fine pumpkin. Best be getting on your ways then.”
“Thank-you very much for all that you have given and helped us.”
“Oh darling, just keep your chin up, and end the bloody war!” She chants.
“On my way!” I say. We gather our stuff and head out the door disguised as villagers.
“So, where to now?” I ask Eddie.
“To the train station I guess.” Eddie takes out his map and starts to look at it. We are just about five miles away. I see Ruth walks over with us and once again, we walk for about one and a half hours until we get there. We buy the cheapest tickets and wait for the train to come. When it does, we are lead to the back of the train into red velvet seats. They fascinated Ruth. I have to admit though, I have never been on a train and I think that they are marvelous. Ruth loved the whistle and they gave us little cups of soda. It was called something like root fear. I am not quite sure. The rumbling of the train makes me drift off to sleep.
I awake when the train stops and jerks abruptly. “Passengers, please remain calm, we should be moving on in a second. We have to meet with someone, so once again please remain calm. Thank-you.” As soon as the click of the microphone went off a chatter among the people went off. What is going on right now? I think. I look down and feel that Ruth has cuddled up next to me. “It is fine.” I calmly say even though I am not so sure my self. “Passengers, you will need to exit the plane please. Please remain calm, thank-you.”
Every rises and heads out the nearest exit. We get out last so we waited a while until it was our turn. When we finally got out, we were snatched and gagged.

The whole train was around us trying to scream and get untied in a circle. Eddie looks at me and with his eyes makes a motion like, “Stay together!” So I wiggle over closer to him and Ruth. The Conductor is tied up like us and some people have started to cry. Soldiers, are surround us and one of them shouts, “Get going all of you, you have a long journey ahead, chuckle.” When no one moves once again he shouts, “You heard me, get going! That is an order.” Then they start kicking people to move us. We slowly start to hobble over in the direction that they are walking and a few are un-gagged.

I give a look to Eddie that says, “What do we do?” He just nods his head that ways for us to follow. I nod back. A baby starts crying and the mother tries to quiet it. The soldiers laugh and say lame jokes. They keep informing us, “Just around this corner.” Then we look and there is nothing. Ruth was falling behind but I didn’t want her to be noticed so I gestured to hurry up. She walks a little bit faster.

A whole, long miserable day passes. I expect to stop for the night, but it doesn’t come. We walk and walk and walk. The people behind were untied so they helped us. We still didn’t dare speak. The guns that the soldiers had in their hands were bigger than any we had in the whole village. I was scared to death. We walked for two days strait and almost half of the crowd fell behind. (They were killed.) My feet have blisters and I wish that I was back at Mary’s house, but I keep trudging on. The only thought that keeps me going is seeing my parents. I dread to think where they are taking us.

Will I survive there? Finally on the morning of the third day we arrive to a brick structure with gates and I think cameras. “Get in!” They shout. I walk in with the little hope of water. “Your beds are in that building and you eat in the one next to it.” One says. “Very well, get a move on then.”

The rooms were a nightmare. Cramped, and stuffy. Eddie and I were the first ones in and we found some stairs that lead up to the roof. We decided that up there would be better than in the room itself, so we went up and took three beds. They were half of the size that Ruth and I had back at the village. Oh, how I longed to be there.
But no, now I am here and there is no use looking back at the past.
Just deal with the present.

When every one was packed in we heard a bell. No one knew what to do so we just froze dumbly. Finally a soldier came in and said, “Want your dinner of not?” We hesitate for a moment but then we rush out at the thought of food. The group goes over to the eating building and we stand in a line.
To eat.

We each grabbed a plate and cup and waited. There was bread, salad, and potatoes. There was warm water to drink in our cups. Our threesome went outside. Ruth gobbled up her meal and so did I. (I was surprised at how large it was, bigger than what I ever had back at the village. First good thing in four days.) I ask Eddie what is going on but he is just as oblivious as I am. Ruth is scared to death but I try to calm her down. When we were done we were lead to a well where we had to wash our dishes. That was a long wait also.

I talked to a girl about my age who has been here for years. I ask if there is any way out and she says a big long no. I ask why our sleeping schedule was so weird but it was my turn and she didn’t have enough time to answer. At 7:00pm we were to go strait to bed. We go back and I want to talk but it was 6:55pm so we crawled into our beds. We have to get up at 3:30 am. Ding-ding-dong! The bell goes off with a loud bang. “Night.” I whisper to Ruth. I was so grateful that we were on the roof. Until around 9:00pm.

I woke up to the wild wind rushing over me grabbing my blanket. The others around me were already up trying to grab their belongings and snatch the blankets. Fortunately mine caught onto a bed. Others were not that lucky. When Eddie and Ruth and I were all done and settled down and we didn’t think anything could get worse I felt one drop. One rain drop.

“Eddie, it is raining! Get under the bed!” I shout. “What?” but it is too late. That one undemanding rain drop has turned into countless shattering diving ones. I got under my bed shivering and Eddie and Ruth did the same. People were freaking out every where. Soon the saw me and did the same. I didn’t feel sorry for the people down below anymore. I wrapped the blanket around me trying to keep the heat in. In about one hour every one was quiet trying to keep warm and I some how fell asleep…

At exactly 3:30 am a horn was blown six times and we all got up and hurried to breakfast which was cold eggs and warm milk. I was still good I guess. A small short man with short brown hair and whiskers on his stubby chin got up and tried to shout, “Quiet!” When that didn’t work he shot his gun into the air. Now that did work. “Oldest to youngest, line up quickly!” The line at the top had an elderly woman with broken spectacles to a baby boy with his mother who had wet hair. Poor thing, she must have been on the roof like us. I make a mental not to always be checking and helping that torn mother. Ruth was near the end and Eddie up front. I was scared. The man continued to speak. “If you are 70 years or older go to building 7khj5. If you are 60 through 69n, men, go to the building 9fjj4. 50 through 59,men, building 3uer5. 40 through 49, men, go to the building 1nft0.” Eddie trudges out with the other somber men. When he turns around he takes four fingers, puts them to his heart, to his lips, then out to me. I have no clue why he did that. The man continues and when he calls “Girls, 15-22’ I follow the rest. I don’t know where Ruth went, but I hope that she is safe. Same with Eddie. I fear for my life also. In the dim light we are directed to another brick building that contains countless sewing machines. A women says, “Sew and hem these soldier uniforms. The more skilled you are, the easier tasks you take.” I am grateful that I was not here to be tortured and that I know how to do the job. I find a chair next to a tiny girl. She doesn’t look fifteen, more like twelve. She has a terrified look on her face. I say, “What is wrong?” She replies,
“I can’t sew.”
“Let me help.”
“Thank-you very much.” She says in a quivered voice. I find a pair of pants that were torn at the thigh and lay them down on her machine. “First you must put the thread and needle in…” and I explain the process. When she is done it looks perfect. I choose a shirt with sleeves barley hanging on at the bottom. When I finish that I move onto another ragged shirt. The days drags on like that until dinner. By then my hands ache and bleed from all of the needle pricks. The dinner was nice but I could not enjoy it. It was rice, meat, and some flavorless gravy. I finally found Ruth and Eddie. Ruth was filthy because she mixed mud and Eddie was exhausted and his hands were blistered because he went and dug graves all day. When I told them my job, they were jealous and chuckled. When the horn rang at 6:55pm we all raced back to the bed house. I looked to find the lady with the baby and saw her in the corner. I take my blanket over to her knowing I will regret it tonight and handed it to her. When she sees it she sobs and says thank-you over and over again. The baby was asleep and it looked like she was up all night trying to watch and quiet it. I told her that I would watch it tonight and she reluctantly handed him over. The horn rang and I crawled into bed with Ruth and the baby. She watched babies sometimes at the village so we switched turns during the night watching it. In the morning when it finally came. It was once again still dark. I returned to baby and as we walked over I asked Eddie, “What was that thing you did to me with you fingers yesterday?”
“It means “Live one more day” a sign of our side of the war.”
“Oh.” I say to finish the words of our conversation. Once again we are directed to my building and sit in the same places. This time I talk with the girl next to me and find out her name which is Alice. She is fifteen. She had been around the camp for sometime also. That day went by quicker than the last one because I had some one to talk to, But it was not until the two next days when I heard the scream.

I rushed over. A girl my age had sliced half of her finger with the cutting blade. I have dealt with things like this all the time at home so I knew what to do. I quickly ripped off a sleeve of a uniform and tied it around the finger and put pressure. Blood was every where and a girl fainted and another threw up.

Later on I stitched it up and she hurt with pain I could tell but after she was fine. I told her to wash it though. Other people helped her sew but every one was amazed at what I did. When I sat back down, Alice stared at me like I just jumped off a cliff.
“What?” I say, but then we giggled just because we were so tense the whole hour. Dinner came as usual and we went back to sleep.
Another storm came but I was prepared and it was Ruth and my turn to take the baby. The next day I go back to the sewing building and when I finish my first shirt a lady runs in saying, “Does any one have any experience with helping wounded soldiers? The woman are having trouble with all of them.” I felt everyone’s eyes turn to me because of the cut finger situation. Including the lady’s.

“You there, do you?” I am frozen. The words stumble out of my mouth, “Um, well, I guess, sort of, yes.”

“Well then, come with me. Any others?” Five more woman stand up and leave with me. I wave to Alice and I do the sign Eddie did to me. Survive one more day. My four fingers go to my heart, to my lips, then out to her. She smiles and does the same to me. In some strange way this comforts me I think as I leave the room.

I am led to another brick building near the back. When I walk in it smells terrible. A million of cots are laid out in never-ending rows. Sick soldiers are everywhere. I feel sick. Thankfully I am led into a medicine room.

“You will separate and order in the medicine needed.” Thank heavens that I am doing medicine not in there doing surgeries. I look down at my list and get to work. The only bad part was that I missed Alice. I tried to talk to the other woman but they had another language that I didn’t recognize. The guards walk by, but if you are not doing your job every second of the day then they beat you with the whips and call us, “Bezs caldebrins!” I don’t know what it means, but I am guessing it‘s not pleasant. I hate it here. I am so lonely. When I get back, I tell Ruth and Eddie about my new job but then I am too tired to talk. A long week passes. I am so used to the schedule I could probably do it in my sleep. Until the next week.

When I enter work I notice a new guard. Average height, no whiskers, untangled dark brown hair, and skinny. I don’t know why but this guard seemed different then the others. When I went to bed that night I could not get that mystery off of my mind. So for the next few days I think about that. One day he said in English quietly, “I will keep my eyes on you.” Which troubled me even more. That night I thought about what he said. “I will keep my eyes on you…” But the curios thing was that the accent was different, but that was not it. Still, it ran through my mind over and over and over again. Until I was fast asleep.
I walk into my jobs when I am snatched. I try to run free, but I can’t the grip is too strong. I try to see the face but I can not in the dark. I am gagged until I here the familiar voice saying, “I will keep my eyes on you.” Then I see the face, the guard. And I scream.
I shoot up in my bed hitting my head hard on the solid, wooden bunk above me. But that was not the only blow I got. I know what is different about him, from the other soldiers.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“I am keeping my eyes on you.” Every one who is a Quasapatainian has green eyes, he has blue eyes. He must be on our side. I quickly go to get Eddie. “Eddie, Eddie wake up!” I whisper. It was a warm, humid night.

“What?” He groans. And then I tell him the whole entire story…

“No Anne it is too dangerous. I will not allow it.”

“Ok fine.” But that is not what I do then next day.

When I get to work I see the soldier. I don’t know why, and I couldn’t control my hand at all. It just did it. Four fingers went to my heart, my lips, then out to him. I sit there stunned staring at him, shocked at myself. But then something amazing happened. He repeated the sign to me.

I turn and quickly start to pretend to check the medicine lists but I don’t actually do it. For about an hour I do this until my mind is sore. I finally get done with one medicine order when the bell rings for our bathroom breaks. I walk in and wash my face with icy water. The room gets so stuffy at times I can hardly breath. I walk in but standing at my seat is him. The solider with blue eyes. I walk over and he starts to shout, “There you are you Bezs Caldebrin! Come with me! Now you will take the price for stealing!” My legs turn to jello and my mind starts to buzz. What did I do wrong? Oh, help me please! He gets a grip on my arm and tosses me in front of him. When I look up with my terrified eyes, he winks back with his soft blue ones.




“What?” I whisper.

“Get a move on I said!” Soon I am out the door and lead into a building that I have never seen before. He lightens his grip when no body is around. He evens opens a door for me and we walk into a room. He turns around to lock it and I sit down on a chair. When he turns around he says, “You will leave in two nights.” My mind is dumb. I cannot think. I am too confused. “No questions. I am on your side. I had to act that way to get you out. You will not be harmed I promise. Meet me tomorrow alone at the grave yard. Walk with your friend Eddie. Hide until then. Good bye.” Then he gets up and leaves. Just like that. I run to underneath my bed and go to sleep praying that it will help my confusion.

When I wake up I hear the dinner bell ring. I don’t know how I supposed to sneak in when I am supposed to be executed or in jail or something. I look over to a bed. Clothes. I put them on with a cloth over my head and twisted around my hair. When I get out side I rub dirt a thick layer of dirt on my face, especially around my eyes. I hunch over and walk with a limp. Hey, it was the best that I could do. I soon get hot and sweaty on the boiling afternoon and my back starts to ache. Ruth and Eddie barley recognized me, but the little food was worth it. In the night I wake Eddie for the second night in a row and told him about my day.
“You disobeyed me again? Oh well I cannot be mad about that right now. Ok. You will take a pair of my clothes and sneak in like you did at dinner.” Oh no, not again, I think but I keep paying attention.
“When you get there sit at the bench as if you were sick, got it? He should be able to see you.”
“When I leave where will you two go?” I ask taken aback that the question had not entered my mind earlier.
“Here and alive.” He says smoothly.
“No. there has to be another way.” I plead. He turns around and goes to bed.
“Wait! No Eddie!” Then I realize that we are in the middle of the night and I just woke a few people up when somebody shouts, “SHHHHHH! Can we not have a night of rest in this horrible place?” I climb back into my bed torn at leaving Ruth and Eddie until I finally descend into a troubled doze.




I stagger next to Eddie sticking to him like glue, as we walk down the long trail to a spooky grave sight overflowing with wood crosses so close together you cannot fit a man in between. It was a sickening sight. I do as Eddie directs and walk over to the sick bench. I am about to sit by a man with a missing thumb and turn my face away so that he will not recognize me but am snatched away by the soldier. We rush through a room with a trapdoor that leads to the roof. Then I jump over the first electric fence and he cuts through the barbed wire. It turns out that we had three minutes with the security cameras and the guards and all of that. We run into the forest, across a bridge, and into a mountain. We finally stop and rest. Then he talks to me for the first time.
“Ok, ok. Now can you talk and maybe, if it is not too hard, maybe your name? Just because, you know, it would just be nice to know.” I say. He laughs. A cool, soft laugh. It almost reminded me of Ruth’s calm, pure, hiccup laugh. Oh I miss her already.
“All right. My name is Chuck Balonde.” Oh great. This guy has a name of Chuck? I am stuck with a freak. All of the sudden he starts to burst out laughing.
“Oh the look on your face was priceless! It was a joke! My real name is Damien. It means tame, friend, and domesticated. Although I do not agree with the tame part.” I giggle for the first time in ages.
“Thank you Diaman.” I say.
“Damien not Diaman.” He butts in.
“Thank you Damien not Diamen. My name is Sam Carmix.”
“I know your name Sam Carmix. That is why I rescued you. Do you think I would risk my life like that for any old person? I have all ready done that in the war.” Just then for some reason I realize that I still look like a man. I take off the ragged clothes of Eddie’s and underneath are my own. I undo my hair and let it loose over my shoulders and down my back.
“Why?”’
“A guy named Samuel Davie sent one of us to each camp to help you. That is also why I know Eddie‘s name. Didn‘t you catch on? If you were able to make it here I would have thought that you would.” Samuel Davie. Thank you.
“Um, excuse me?” I say irritated at his rudeness.
“Yes?”
“Oh never mind. But if you are going to travel with me watch your mouth. You are being rude.”
I say.
“I am not being rude, you are just being sensitive.” and with that he gets up and starts to walk again. Men. I think to myself and get up and start the second half of my long and treacherous journey.

We walk in an awkward silence for a long time until I finally say, “So, have any family?”
“Sister at home.”
“Where is home?” I say annoyed at his short response.
“Funkledeene.” Ugggggh! Say something more!
“How old are you?”
“Nineteen.”
Will he ever stop talking?
He just goes on and on. I say sarcastically to myself.
“What…”
“If I don‘t answer will you stop asking questions?” He says. Well at least I got a sentence out of him.
“Ok, maybe you should start the conversation then instead of me doing it.”
“Maybe we shouldn‘t have a conversation. Maybe you should just look around and enjoy the nature that has created for you, and be grateful. When you walk you walk with your eyes toward the dirt, how about up ahead.” I don’t have anything left to say.
“See, now you are speechless. Now what is left is to just look.”

I sigh loud and harshly but then follow his advice. As I look around I actually notice the trees, that touch the sky. The sky, a light, soft, pure blue with pillow clouds swiftly moving across. The leafs, the green of the earth, and the rock, shining in the sun. The sound of the river racing past us ready to win the race, the sound of birds, singing their cheery, free spirited song, the wind, ruffling the foliage of a forest. And last, the spirit of nature, a certain unspeakable love that only enters not only your heart but your whole body and personality when your take it within yourself on the touch of a wet leaf, or the smell of a fresh fallen rain in spring, or the explosion of thunder and the flare of lightning.

“So, you are the famous Sam Camix.”
“I thought that we were not supposed to talk.”
“Well, do you want to? It has been four hours and it is getting dark.” He said.
“We need to stop, my legs are numb.” I say.
“Of course they are.”
“Hey! Are yours not?” I ask.
“No.”
“You know if I knew where to go I would leave you.” I say.
“No you wouldn‘t.” He said smoothly.
“Pardon?”
“Do you have bad hearing? I said NO YOU WOULDN‘T.”
“I know what you said, it is just that it is not something you say to a lady, and yes I would.” I say back not sounding smooth.
“No you wouldn‘t and I know that you don‘t say that to a lady and I wouldn‘t, but you are not lady.”
“And you are not a man.” I say.
“I never said that I was.”
“Nice conversation. This is why I start them.”
“You said for me to.” He said.
“You know, I think that we agree on one thing,”
“What?” He says
“Your name defiantly does not fit you.” And that time, I did say it smoothly.




It is dark and we find a place next to the river. He sleeps on a rock and I sleep on the leafy floor. What a chilly night it was. My teeth chattered and I tried to get under leaves for warmth, but eventually I fell asleep.

“Mom! Dad! I made it! Oh thank you, thank you.” I ran into their arms and hugged them forever. Tears ran down my cheeks uncontrollably. Suddenly I felt another body hug me. When I looked down I saw that it was Ruth and behind her was Eddie.
“You escaped! How? Oh never mind I don‘t care how.” Finally the last person was Damien. But then I woke up.

It was a bright and early morning. I had a good dream. I actually had a good dream. The first one in years. But why now? In this terrible time? I stretch out my arms and yawn, and as I think about it I looked down too see Damien’s jacket stretched out on me.

Damien was all ready up, of course, and had “breakfast” cooking. When it was done and we sat down to eat, I didn’t mention the coat all though I could see it in his face. Breakfast was some cooked roots with water and a bit of cheese that he had brought. It reminds me of back at Semasty building. I wonder what it is like now. I quietly ate and he said, “Hungry? You said you were a lady but you eat like a pig!” After a minute I look over and he is the one eating like a pig. Then started to laugh.

“Ha ha ha. That is so funny.” I say sarcastically. “Let‘s stop playing pig and get a move on.”

“Ok Grumpy, oh no, I meant Dopey.” We stared at each other for a while and I lost. My smile widened into a laugh. We got up and got moving.
“Hey, do you know anything about my family?”
“Um, let‘s see, I just got this packet of information, but otherwise no.” When he pulls it out I see how big it is. Maybe ten full pages front and back. I take it and start to flip through. First it was a page that showed my dad’s birth date, his parents, where he lived and stuff like that.. At the bottom it say that his daughter is Ruth but not mine. I would read it later and save it but I decided to move on for now. Next was my mom’s. same thing. Then mine, my age, what I looked like and stuff like that. Then Ruth. Hers had the least information. Since they were taken right after she was born but people added to it. Every thing was stuff that I knew except for when I turned to the next page. There I saw Savannah’s records.

Born: 3315
Born To: Corsoe and Massie Masen


What? That is my mom’s name, but not the last name.

Location: Child’s Place
Adopted by: Michie and Carie Harrison
Guardian: Samuel Davie
Birth weight: 6.6 lbs
Gender: Female
Birth location: Beseenstone


That is where I was born.

Allergies: Pineapple, oats.


Those are my allergies. I turn the page thinking how strange this all is. What is going on? I think to myself. The next page says Corsoe Masen. I read through and when I get to the end I read,

Children: Savanna Masen and Samantha Masen/Carmix


What? I flip back to Savanna’s page and find at the bottom,

Siblings: Samantha Masen

Oh my goodness!
What is going on?
I am, uh…
I am Savanna’s sister?
But how?
And if Savanna is my sister, then who is Ruth?
I flip back to my page and read it over and over again. Finally I remember that there is a back. It says,
Samantha Masen, also know as Sam Carmix was born in Beseenestone to Corsoe and Massie Masen. She was a healthy baby and grew up perfectly. A short year and a half later they had another baby girl named Savanna, who was also healthy. Sadly, a year after Corsoe Masen died in the service of his country. Massie re-married a man by the name of Calvin Carmix. Savanna was captured and taken. She was then adopted by parents and a family who later were taken in Copperville. Finally she was found in the streets by a man named Samuel Davie. Sam remained with Massie though. Her name was changed to Sam Carmix. Massie and Calvin had a daughter together named Ruth Carmix. When Ruth was only a year old Massie and Calvin Carmix were also captured in the war leaving a friend to be the legal guardian of them both until Sam’s eighteenth birthday. All three now live in Semasty building.


I stop walking. Drop the paper and faint.

I wake up traumatized. I do not speak. Ruth is not my full sister. Ruth, my life, is my stepsister.
Stepsister.
The word repeats in my head. Over and over again.
Stepsister.
I am traveling to see my step dad.
Step dad.
I think back into the old ancient stories of Cinderella, and snow white. The ugly horrid stepsisters. Savannah, my sister.
Full sister.
Sister. Sister.

“Sam, Sam! Answer me!” My eyes glance up to see Damien. “Sa-am, Sa-am, any body in there? Hello?” I blink and look over.

“Ope, there we go. We are back in business. Here we go. Drink some of this up. It will make you feel better.” I am on the ground when he hands me a warm bowl of some herb concoction. I drink it slowly.

“Hey, just to try it out, can you talk? Yay, ney, yes, no? Give me what you got.”
I am too tired so I just smile and shake my head.

“All right then. We will try that again later. Get some rest.” And then, I do. I fall soundly asleep.

I wake up again in the same spot. I sit up and look around.
“Good morning Sleeping Beauty, did you get your beauty sleep?” Damien chuckles at his own joke. I just smile and give a little chuckle.
“Hey, look at that you talked! Come on, let‘s get this show on the road.” he says. I struggle up to start walking.
“Hurry up, we don‘t have all day.” He says. I sigh hard and harshly.
“Don‘t be such a grump, Grumpy.” He laughs again.
“All right, quit the princess jokes! You have one too many.” He ignores me and just keeps walking. Just to make me madder, he starts to whistle.
“All right, honestly?” I say, not ready to put up with this any more. He stops, turned around, and makes a circle around his face with his finger.
“Does it look like I am lying?”
“No.” I mumble and just keep walking. He smirks and whistles some more, then walks on ahead of me. While walking, I remember. The papers. No, I will not think about them until I find my parents. I promise. I miss Ruth, I miss Eddie. When look up, I see a mountain ahead. Covered in deep, green, bushy forests.
“Are we going, into. That?” I stutter.
“Yep. Keep moving.”
“I am.” I say again. We head on up and enter the first tree I feel a nervous feeling. I walk a little closer to Damien After about an hour we start to talk when I hear a blasting sound.
“Run!” Another blow comes inches from my feet. I run and run and run. He shouts and throws me something I grab it and run for my life. I sprint into bushes and duck, I hardly breath then the gunfire stops.

“I think we got them both, wonder who they were.”

English, they are speaking English!
Another man continues, “Not one of us, they would have done the heldon.”
What is the heldon?
Is it a certain sign that means their side?
Hold still!

“Let’s go! Nothing left.” I hear foot steps as they leave. I still don’t trust them. I stay in that crouched position for what seems like forever. Finally I got up and started to whisper Damien’s name. That whisper grew to a shout, then a scream. But no answer was found. I am all alone, not knowing where I am. I get up sobbing not knowing what to do or where to go. “If there is any one out there, help me.” I whisper. I get up and start walking in the direction that I think we were headed. I start to think of what I should do. Maybe he will find me, or meet me half way there or something.
Keep your chin up…
Damien had said, and Mary, and Eddie. How is Ruth? Where is she? I miss her. I miss her more than anything in the world. I walk weaving between bushes and ducking below branches, I keep heading in that direction. I flash back to the moment when we were separated. The shot at my foot, the running, the look on his face, and then, oh no.
He threw me something to me.
I forgot it.
What was it?
I have to go back.
But it is almost dark.
What will I do?
What if I run into the soldiers?
Just go.
So I do. I get up and I go. Keep walking. Keep walking. Keep walking. That is all that I think. I try to re-trace my steps. But it is getting dark and hard to tell. I decide to stop before I really get lost. I find another smooth, flat rock and settle down for the cold, chilly night.




When I wake there is frost on the ground I am freezing. I can see my breath. Keep walking. I see a tree that had split into two. I remember this. I keep walking in that path. My stomach whines with hunger. I look around and find the plant that Eddie had given me at the first part of our journey. I grab a couple of handfuls and put them in my pockets along with some in my mouth. The bitter taste feeds my stomach hardly, but it is all that I had. I keep on walking. Spitting out the stuff and re-filling my mouth. My throat kills and I know that I am sick. That is not a major problem, yet. I hear a rustle in the bushes. I whirl around to see a baby rabbit. “You scared me.” I say aloud. I realize that I am on full alert. I wish that I could catch it, cook it… Fire. I need fire. That is it. I need fire. As I think about fire, I see a horrible sight. The tree spit into two.

I have been going in circles. This whole time. Circles. I have to get back. Back to the red bush. The bush where he threw the thing. I try again. I start to walk but only go straight. Only go straight. Only go straight.




The next day I find myself back at the split tree. Where am I going wrong? Once again for the third time I head out. When I get about half way through I realize my mistake. The river. Where I had stopped to drink. I have tried to go around it. I must go across. The memory comes back. I was thinking about the Semastey building when I had crossed an unique looking log. Now all that I have to do is find that log and cross it. I head up the river for a while until I realize the sun has set and I can no longer see where My feet are stepping. No moon tonight.

In the morning I am still walking. I realize while I walk how much I miss Damien. Even his lame princess jokes. When I get another mile down I find the log. I remember this one because it three holes right down the center. I go, wiggle it to make sure that it is sturdy and find it good enough for me to start. I get on and walk across. Much better. I recognize the path that I came right away. I keep on walking straight. I fill myself again at the river. A glimpse catches the corner of my eye. The red bush. I sprint over to it. There lying next to it is my bag. My bag with the stuff from my mother, everything. Oh. That is it? I lost half of my time for this? I open it and see a loaf of bread, the packet of papers, the original stuff, and a key. Yet again another mystery. I lay down to think about it when I find myself asleep.

I wake in the middle of the night and in is pouring rain. Thunder crashes and the lightening was striking. I quickly run for shelter under an over hanging rock. Where I spent the rest of the miserable night.

It is a bright sunny morning when I wake from my short rest. The rain kept me up all night. I decide that I can morn over it while I walk. My clothes are wet and damp so I change into my spare ones. In about three miles I am at the river. Everything is a mess. The rain must have flooded the river. Everything in out of place and in a disaster. The river is racing faster than before. Fortunately the log is still there. I go over and start to walk on it. When I am about half way there it shifts. I quickly try to run over it but it happened too quickly. The whole log fell into the roaring river and I plunge into it. I barley get to the surface before I am sucked under again I swallow gulps of muddy water. I bang against a rock. Just as soon as I feel like I am going to die, My face touches the surface of the water. I pick up the last little ounce of strength that I have and swim over to the bank there I climb up and pass out.

When I wake, I have a huge head ache, worse than ever and my stomach is flipping. I feel it coming. I try to crawl over to the river, get about half way there, and throw up. My whole body is so drained I feel as if I can’t move. I close my eyes and daze off once more. For the second time I wake up feeling miserable. I edge up to the path and under a rock, but when I try to sit up my head screams. I look around for some roots or something that I could chew on, but when I reach up to touch my head I feel my arm throb. Oh, goodness. My arm is filthy red with my dry blood. I quickly force myself with all my strength to crawl to the river. I let the water run as I watch the blood run down the river. As soon as the dry blood is off new fresh and wet blood appears. I put my other arm and pinch about and inch up from my elbow. I tear off some of my extra clothing and wrap it around the wound tightly. It bleeds through in minutes. I get another one and then another until I am up to five layers. The cut is about three inches across my lower arm, I don’t know how deep though. I have dealt with things like this before, well maybe not this bad, but I know what to do. I lay down with my arm up and drink a bit of icy cold water from the bottle. My whole body aches. It aches so much it hurts to breath. I decide that I have to suck it up and get a move on. “Here I go.” I whisper as I head out to the path I hope to return to.

It has been six days since the river incident and my arm it worse. It is swollen and I think that it is infected. My hunger and thirst grow inferior with each breath. I have walked and walked. Tonight I am planning on going on through the night since I don’t get much sleep anyways. Light? I will use my one and only candle. Thoughts have been nagging me even though I try to push them away about Ruth and Eddie and how I left them in their state.
What if one or both, have been killed.
What about Damien?
Was he caught?
What if my parents aren’t even alive after all.
Anne STOP!
Oh goodness, please help me.
I get back up and start to walk again. My feet have developed sore raw blisters. My mind has started to wander off at times. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing just because it helps me not think of the excruciating pain coming from every pore in my body.
Keep walking.
Something in the air disturbs me. The presence if another human being. Snap.
Immediately my legs run beneath me. Its my first instinct at this point. Its not a vary fast run because of my health, in fact its more of a shuffle, but it’s the best that I can do. I hear voices and different pairs of feet follow me. I go faster. So do they.

My leg catches a branch and I hear it crack. I keep running blindly.
Who are they?
What will happen to me if I am caught?
Is this it? It this the end?
Am I done with?
The forest races against me blocking my path throwing out obstacles, for me to hurdle.

My leg rips with pain as I bite my lip so that I cannot make a sound. A sharp branch slices my face. I can now taste blood as I bite harder. I trip into a ditch and then I know the end has come.

When I finally regain consciousness and open up my eyes to the bright light, I hear hushed voices.
“Now who is this again?”
“Sam Carmix.”
“The actual Samantha Carmix?”
“Yes.” I could recognize that voice anywhere. Damien. But the second one remains a mystery. It sounds like a middle aged woman.
“Where did you find her?”
“Up at the prison camp.” Why are they talking about me? How does she recognize my name? This is all too strange.
“Was she alone?”
“No, there were two others.”
“How did you two get separated anyways?”
“Soldiers from the east. I couldn‘t trust them. I am glad that she made it out safely.”
“I can tell by this wound! I don‘t know how she kept going!” I hear them come back over and I shut my eyes again.
“Sam? Are you awake yet?” I pretend to flutter my eyes open and just wake up. When I look up I see a quite beautiful woman for her age. I don’t want to speak so I don’t. It hurts to sigh, but I do to shown I’m awake. “Oh Dearie. How are you feeling?” before I can even move my lips I see Damien. Even just his face automatically gives me relief.
“How you doing? You sure are making a big deal out of tripping a few times.” He grins and can’t help but smile back. His humor but ability to keep the hardest of situations cool and calm is somehow reassuring. I keep my smile in silence.
“Oh so you are on the no talking therapy thing again? In that case can I have your soup?” I give him an unhappy look as the woman rushes over a bowl of warm broth. I take in my surroundings. I’m in a house again. One with pink plush pillows, but old ancient furniture. I decide to take advantage of the comfort underneath my limp body and find myself in a doze.

When I regain consciousness I feel someone wrapping a clean brand new bandage around my elbow. I soon recognize the woman again. Kneeling at the side of my bed she injects a needle into my flesh. I stare at her, watch her careful work. It’s amazing the transformation of my arm. It used to be a bloody wreck, and now it looks just like a scratch wrapped up in a spotlessly clean cloth. I try to move my lips to speak but something stops them. I can’t move them. Then I remember, in the forest when I was running I must have bitten through the whole layer of flesh.
The forest.

How did I get out?
Was it them chasing me?
Where am I?
Who is this woman putting drugs into my arm?
Now I wish desperately that I could talk but I can’t.
There is nothing that I can do about it either.
I feel paralyzed.
A weakling. Helpless. Worthless.
Stop it! You are not worthless!
I must have stirred because the woman looked up into my face.
“Oh Sam! Your awake again!” I glance over at the needle.
“That is medicine for the pain and infection. Nothing to worry about.” I nod my head of approval.
“By the way, I am Sandra, one of Damien‘s good friends.” Now it is close to killing me not being able to talk. I have so may questions to ask her.
“You were found in terrible conditions fourteen days ago. You arm is infected badly, your head has a small slash, your leg is close to broken, and you bit through your lip. I can‘t imagine how you feel right now. Probably you don‘t want to talk to me but you are just being polite. I will leave you in peace. Get rest, you need it.” I try to shake my head quickly but she was all ready gone. My next intruder was Damien himself.
“How ya doing sleeping beauty?” I give him a look that says if I could talk, he would have it.
“Hey you can‘t talk so I might as well take advantage of it!” I roll my eyes even though it nearly kills me to.
“Got pretty beat up out there huh? Not very fun I imagine, but I have been through worse. This is nothing. No big deal.” I shoot him another glance.
“Ok ok I‘m out of hear grumpy! I think I would rather be in a room with sneezy!” Then he leaves. I don’t get how his jokes make me laugh. Of course I would never show that… If he knew that I liked them he would go off the edge. I miss Ruth and Eddie so much now I can hardly stand it. Just to hear their voice or to see their faces would be worth close to anything. What do I do now? I don’t think that I can sleep any longer. After all, has it really been fourteen days since the forest? I honestly don’t know how I am still alive.

I start to daydream and drift away from the real world and think about my parents. What they look like now, their personalities if they have changed, every thing about them from head to toe. I just can’t stand the thought of possible seeing them again. Or the worst… If I will never see them again. I push the subject out of my mind. I slowly start to ease up into a sitting position.

What have I done with my life? I wonder. What happened to the girl taking temperatures and missing lunch to go work with small children? I could be rushing to the store to get almonds for Ruth’s lunch a block away but I’m in some strange house with no idea where I am, barely able to sit up. Speaking of which, where am I?

As if he could read my thoughts, Damien walks into my room holding a worn map. He sits on the couch at the end.
“How long until you think that you will be able to get going again?” What? Does he not see my condition? Since I still can’t use my words, I shrug my shoulders.
“The reason that I‘m asking is more and more soldiers are pouring into the town. Since we are not legal citizens, we could be taken back to a camp or possible killed.” Of course. What else does life have to throw at me?
“Oh, and also, if we don‘t get back to our old camp in time, Eddie and Ruth will be transferred and by then it will be almost impossible to find.” That is the sentence that sends up the red flag and gets my heart pumping. I forget my condition of my mouth so I try to speak out which hurts unbelievably, and all that I get is a mumble of jumbled syllables.

“Ok, ok. I get it. Calm down. I will ask Sandra when you are ready and we will be off.” I nod my head which sets off another bombing headache, which reminds me of how hopeless this whole thing is. Who am I kidding? I can’t leave this bed for possibly months!

“This is my plan, soldiers are crawling the trains, so we will have to take the long route. Therefore, we must get through town without being caught and then take a certain bus for another part of the way. The roads close at the border. This is where it gets tricky. There is a special underground tunnel that we will go through to get to the forest. Then in the night, we will have to sneak openly in the forest and go to the hiding place where your parents are.”

Oh my goodness, what is he thinking? We are just two kids! We can’t do that! He may be a trained soldier but I am just a wounded weakling that he has to drag around. I realize that I am just staring at him blankly as I think so I glance away and have no idea what to do or how to respond.

“Get some sleep and think about it. You need all the rest you can get.” And with that he walks out of the room. It turns out that I needed every bit of it.

A few weeks pass by but its hard to tell because of the routine I get every day. Wake up, change bandages, eat oatmeal. Walk in the same pattern. Sleep. Get a slice of meat for lunch. Walk again. Take medicine. Sleep. Eat cold soup for dinner, listen to the small radio on the same station with the same news and songs. Go back to couch. Sleep.

It turns out that this repetitive routine actually helped me and finally almost healed. I have started to talk again. Slowly, but its coming long. Just like the beginning. I feel like a two year old, but the truth is that I don’t really care at this point. I have other things to worry about. I solve that problem by just not talking.

Life seems to slowly pass by me, leaving me behind. It will take a while to catch up. I find that out one the first day of our journey where I can barely move. Every spot on my body cries for me to sit back down. My muscles are sore and stiff. After all, this is no warm up walk around the kitchen. It is a good thing that the weather is cold because we are wrapped up head to toe in stifling winter clothes to hide my identity. I move around the city sticking behind Damien like glue. The town is so busy once you are lost, there is no chance of coming back. He also helps me with support. I wobble and feel no sturdiness in myself. When I dare look around I see an old wooden building that we are heading strait for. The aged wood is crumbling at your touch and sea green mold is plastered to the foot of it. The windows are cracked and so filthy you couldn’t be able to see through them. The knob of the door has fallen off long ago and it effortlessly swings open. When we walk in he leads me down a flight of stairs, once beautiful but now half of the steps are missing and they creak and they groan.

When we get to the bottom we find an old man at an old desk. We startle him so he glances up. Once again Damien repeats, “Quepan erianse plosq.” The old man gets to work right away. He gives us a short but firm nod. He swiftly walks to the windows and draws the blinds. After that he shuffles over to the bookshelf and presses in a different combination of books in different orders. Finally, what seems to be an easy five minutes, I hear a loud groan as the hidden wall is revealed. He looks around as if someone were watching us and the quickly motions us into the concealed room. He asks us for our name and identity numbers so Damien answers mine for me. He reaches a filing cabinet and pulls out two stacks of papers, the reluctantly hands them to us. He shoos us off and with that, we are back out to the busy crowd.

“What was that about?” I mumble.
“We now have our passports, fake identities, bus passes, and passwords.”
“Passwords for what?” I ask.
“You will see.” He responds.
We walk in a swift pattern each step aligned with each other’s. We duck our heads whenever we see an officer and avoid making eye contact as much as possible.

We make a few stops on the way there to get food, supplies, etc. Finally after two days, we leave. The bus stop was clear-across town and we had to walk the whole way there. When we get on it, we hand the driver our passport and the bus starts to edge forward. I can tell that Damien is tense and with every little bump in the road, I can feel his face clench tighter. His eyes dart around below his eyelids as he searches for any Quasapainian in sight. Finally, after along full day, we get off.

Instead of resting in the night like I had planned to, we travel on. My eyes can barely stay open and my head feels if it is about to fall off at any moment. The night rolls on slowly and each step adds to the pain. Why am I doing this? To find and save my family. Finally just when the morning sun rises over the horizon greeting us for another day, I see it. The border. There is another wall crawling with solders, just like the one on the beach.
“Now what?” I ask.
“The underground tunnel.” Damien whispers.
“Where?”
“Ten miles to our right.” Ten more miles? I can’t do that! I have been walking all night! But what can I say? Finally after a few more hours, the sun is beating down on us harshly and I can feel every bead of sweat drip down my face. Finally we arrive.

I still don’t see anything. Damien pulls out the map that the man at the secret office gave us. He studies it for a moment, the returns it to his pocket. Suddenly he changes directions causing me to trip. This send a bolt of pain through my spine but I somehow pick myself up and keep going. At this point, I just want to cry, but I bite my lip, and push forwards. Damien pushes aside a random low key rock in the middle of no where and under it is the darkest, deepest hole I have ever seen. I want to make it clear that I do not want to go in there, but before I can speak a word, Damien holds out his hand to help me in. My trembling foot reaches what I think is a ladder step and I reluctantly put my weight into it. It gives a nerve-racking creek and I almost hop out right then and there, but somewhere in my instinct, I grit my teeth and start down.

My nerves are bouncing off the walls and every limb in my body is shaking uncontrollably. I can’t see my hand two inches from my face, yet alone my surroundings, or even the next place to put my foot. I feel swallowed in the darkness and the world starts to close in on me. Every minute, the walls feel closer to me and I am experiencing a severe case of claustrophobia. At last I reach the end of the bottomless pit and Damien somehow lights a dim candle.

I look around and see that we are in a tight tunnel of the earth. Cobwebs, centipedes, rats and other critters stand in my path as well. I pull the handkerchief over my mouth and breathe through that. I can feel the earth shake above me as the voices of the solders get louder and louder. Suddenly, they are too loud and I start to hear something different than there patterned chant. I feel them running above me and gunfire. That is when it all started. The dust became even thicker than before and I cough uncontrollably. My lungs fell as if they are going to explode.

I realize that this is more than just heavy dust because now the walls around us start to shift and chunks from the ceiling fall through. I turn around to ask Damien but when I start to shout, the voices, footsteps, gun fires all boom in my ear deafening me. Damien gets a wild look in his eye and he motions to run when he looks back. I turn back too only to see that the ceiling above us starts to collapse.

To make it only worse, voices echo loudly in the tunnel warning us that the soldiers have discovered us and are on their way to destroy us. I run for my life and sprint with all the might I have. The avalanche of earth catches us to our heels. I start to lose my focus. I step in a snake hole and then the world goes still. They can get you Sam. It is ok. It is over. Let it go. The dirt piles on my but I don’t feel a thing. The last glimpse I see of Damien, his eyes are wide with terror and horror. I no longer hear the pounding or shouts of the soldiers behind be. The world is in slow motion now and pitch black like in the tunnel.

I can’t be dead.
I wouldn’t be thinking if I were.
Where am I? Is this all a dream?
Oh, I get it. I am dreaming right now. Soon I will wake up in my bed with Ruth next to me breathing softly.
But then why can’t I move?
You are in a dream remember?
Oh ya. I guess I’m just dreaming.
You all ready said that Sam.

These two voices argue in my head but they can’t be mine.
What about Damien? What he real either? What about everything else?
It’s all just a dream! Get over it! It is either that, or you are dead right now.
Maybe that’s it. I’m dead.

I’m dead. I am done with. But now what? There has got to be something that I do now. Or is this just what it feels like to be dead? Forever and ever, I will just stay this way. Well, can you move when you are dead? I guess it is worth a try. I struggle to move my arm and feel it budge. Am I just in a new body? I push a little harder and feel the dirt give way. Dirt, the tunnel. Was it all true?

Finally I open my eyes. Nothing. Just dirt. I free myself enough to realize that I am on my stomach. Turn over. I use all of my strength to turn to my back. Blinding light seeps through my eyelids when I flinch as the shock. I move myself to a crawling position. I sense the thick layer of dirt fall off of my back. The pain I know is unbearable, but I don’t feel it.
You are dead remember? Of course you don’t feel anything.
That would also explain the bright light. I’m officially dead. I try to open my eyes slowly and I find that they adjust.

Damien. Is he dead too? I look to my left and see a lump in the dirt. Oh no! I frantically start to uncover the body beneath it. I see the shirt the dark hair. No, he is gone too.

Emotionless tears stream down my face. After all he did for me, and he is gone. I bury him back up. Sprinkling dirt over the last mound. I cannot tell what is going on. I feel numb everywhere. Inside and out. I have no connection to my mind or thoughts. I just do what I am told. I decide to try to stand up. I eventually lure myself up and start to walk, not even glancing back at Damien’s dead body. And then the pain hits.

The whole impact of it all, drops suddenly with no mercy. I crouch down and sob. I don’t care what happens now.
Aren’t I supposed to be dead?
Did I ever even say one nice thing to Damien?
No. I don’t think I even did that.
What a loser I am.
A pathetic, selfish, lonely, loser.
My life is worthless, pointless.
What am I?
A disgrace.
That is the word for it all. Disgrace.
Why did Damien have to go and not me?
I’m sure he could have been happily married with a family of his own. A loving wife and kids. A job along with his hard-earned freedom.
What about his parents and his sister? What was her name again?
Oh, I can’t even remember that.
Imagine how many lives I have destroyed and ruined.
All of the hearts I have broken.
Ruth will be all alone now.
No, not true. She will have Eddie.
Are they even alive?
What was the last thing I said to her?
I can’t even remember that.
I cry all night, (Or what I think is night.) Until the night envelopes me and I drift off to and uneasy sleep.

I wake up with the sun in my eyes. Yesterday has left me with nothing. I feel weak, but deep, deep down inside, I almost feel a small seed of hope. Of and impossible chance arising. I don’t sit there and mourn over myself any longer. I get up and get a move on. All that carries me now in the last strain of inner strength left in me. Besides, what else do I have left to do? I refuse to give my life to the wolves and coyotes out here with no effort to save it. I will not die without trying to survive. Unless I am still dead that is. I am not quite sure of what is reality and was isn’t anymore. Just keep walking.

I must have crossed under the bridge in the tunnel and traveled far from it because there is no sign of the great wall or anything. Or maybe that whole part was a dream. I still don’t know. Now, I am surrounded by tall trees much different than the ones in the last forest. These trees have green sharp needles sticking out every where and the grow tall and numerous. I don’t look down, but instead strait forwards. I don’t stop for anything.

I have no clue where I am going except for the fact that there must be some sort of civilization somewhere. This wasteland can’t go on forever. Or can it? Keep walking. Don’t think. Just walk.

Those were not the smartest thoughts because I soon trip over something below my feet and tumble over myself down the hill. When I can finally pick myself back up, I carry myself back up the hill to see what I tripped on. I am shocked to see that it wasn’t a branch or stone, but a body. It must be dead. I flip it over with my foot.

No. It can’t be. My heart drops 100 ft inside my pounding chest and my eyes open wide in shock. Damien? I must be dreaming. I saw him with my own eyes dead in the dirt. I buried him with my own hands! But then the thought occurred to me that I had never look at the face of the dead body in the dirt. I guess I was just too scared to. But can it be true? Or am I just dreaming once again. Maybe I am living in my own little fantasy. No, nightmare. I bend down to take a closer look and rub my eyes repeatedly.

Is he alive? I put my head to his chest, although I am heavily frightened. In fact, I am traumatized. Pat pat. Pat pat. I hear it. His gentle heart beating. His chest moves up and down easily but so lightly, you could barley notice.
“Damien. Damien. Please answer. Damien. Get up.”
No answer.
I came this close! I don’t get second chances like this! No he is not gone. He did not leave me alone.
“What?” The word sends my whole body jumping. I look down. His eyelids over and a gentle smile crosses his face.
“Well good morning to you too grumpy.” All I can do is laugh. I laugh so hard that by the end, tears stream out of my eyes, and once again I return to a sob. I think that it is obvious that I wasn’t laughing at how funny his joke was, but I am so relieved that I found him and literally shocked that I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I guess that I did both.


***


I am still unsure of reality and fiction, but this is as close as I can get. I fell in with the whole stampede but somehow Damien was able to make it through without getting caught. Most of the soldiers were killed or just simply turned back. The man who I thought was Damien was probably just another soldier. Damien came out in the middle of the forest farther than I, but had turned back to try to find me. It is truly a miracle that I survived the whole thing, and that we happened to meet at the same point.

I had a severe case of “shock” that I am still recovering from. If everything goes well, we should reach my parents in a few days.
Meet my parents.

I still am having trouble comprehending the whole concept so I think it will just be better if I leave it alone all together until I actually get to see them for myself.

Along the way, I ask Damien the question that has been nudging me ever since I found him.
“Why are you doing all of this just for me?” I ask.
“To tell you the truth, I wasn‘t sure myself at the beginning of this whole adventure.” Adventure. I am not quite sure I would call it that, more like a miserable treacherous journey.
“But then I remembered why. When I took on this mission, I was told that it would be next to impossible, but I was ready for something new. I new that I was the only one suitable for this trip and have been looking forward to something like this my whole life.”
“But I‘m not anyone, just a random girl who lives out in the middle of no where.” I reply in confusion.
“Are you kidding me? Do you even have the slightest idea of who you are? You are the famous Samantha CarMax! Who doesn‘t know who you are?”
“No one in my building, or city. That‘s for sure.”
“Are you sure about that? Have you wondered how other people are always willing to help you? Or how wherever you go you hear the whispers, “Is that the famous Samantha CarMax?” You are like a superstar!”
“Really, so they weren’t really pitying for me because my parents were lost, or I was raising my sister by myself. But because I am the famous Sam CarMax?”
“Pretty much.” Damien says. I am astounded. I don’t know what to think.
“Don‘t tell me anymore gigantic secrets yet until I can get some sort of emotional control over myself. Got it?”
“Yes, but one thing. You have had no idea about this whole thing your whole entire life?”
“No clue whatsoever.” I reply.
“Wow, I can‘t believe it!”
“You? I am the one who just found out that she is some sort of famous teenager!”
“You do have a point there.” He says with a slight smile.

“Today is the day.” I think to myself. Today is the day I will finally get to see my parents. The day I have been dreaming about for so many years. It is finally here. I rise before Damien today and get my own sort of breakfast concoction going. I am sure it tasted horrible but Damien acts like it is delicious. I think he realized how huge this day to me is too.

I have never had this much energy. No, I wouldn’t call it quite that. Anxiety is a much better word for it. Anyways, this is one of the first days where I have been so willing to get up and start our long journey. I just hope and pray that nothing else will go wrong and that the rest of it will be smooth sailing. But with my luck, who am I kidding?
I didn’t sleep at all last night and this morning my body is hurting more than almost any other day.

There is nothing stopping me today. I walk at a faster pace than usual and I have a hidden smile across my face. I can tell that even Damien is excited and in a good mood as well. The sun shines brightly but the weather is still a bit cooler than usual. Perfect.

Finally we get to the end of the first forest. Suddenly, all of the piney trees disappeared, and were transformed into beautiful leafy ones. Their leaves were a beautiful bright red and orange and they swayed in the wind. The floor was a carpet of golden leaves that made a soft crunch every time you stepped down.

One again, Damien pulled out his map and studied it.

“It says here that the entrance should be two miles to our left but I don‘t see anything. I guess we better go though just to be sure.” My stomach almost flipped. Oh, please don’t be lost. I have made it this far, and it can’t be for nothing. Please oh please help us find it! I silently plead to the air around us. Like Damien said, there wasn’t anything but more trees. Dead end. No, no, no! This is not happening. They have to still be here, they have to be. Night is falling and the air is dropping degrees by the second. Keep walking. This phrase has been carved into my own self-conscious now.

We walk about another mile and a half, and the we see it. The cave.

We both start sprinting with all the energy we have left. When we get there, we see only an aged man in the opening. He speaks with out even turning his back to look at us.
“Password?”
Damien speaks up. “Quepan Erianse Plosq”
The man nods steadily but then turns around to look at us in the eye. His face is wrinkled with many scars that I am sure each have a story to. His jaw is jagged and his eyes daring. But then something unexpected happens, tears start to silently flow through his wide eyes. He stares at me in awe.
“Is it really you? Samantha?” I am a little taken aback by the question.
“Yes.” I say in a questionable voice.
“How did you know?” I add on.
“You have your mother‘s eyes.” This pushes me to the edge, but I refuse to cry yet.
“I know I shouldn‘t have to even ask but, I will need you to confirm the code before entering. I need the combination.” I look up to Damien with a confused look but he just smiles and gives me a reassuring nod.
“What do I say?” I whisper. He leans in close to my ear and says,
“What was the happiest day of your parents’ lives?” That was all I needed. I give a short sigh and say, “7-15-3303” My birthday. Behind him, he opened a door. I could only catch a glimpse, but inside I see a room full of people, funny how I could immediately point out which two parents were mine.

I stand up to sing the last hymn before Eddie’s body is swallowed up by the Earth. I can barely choke out the words and Damien puts his arm around me. I silently cry into his shoulder, muffling my sobs. The rest of the congregation sings along;

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.”




It all turns out that once I finally got to meet my parents and get some rest, we traveled the long and treacherous journey back to the prison camp to find Eddie and Ruth. Ruth wasn’t in the best health but managed to hang on. Sadly, Eddie had died a few days before. He was taken by a sickness that had been spreading around the camp. Him and many others died of it.

Two months later we finally returned home to Semastey Building and we all rejoiced. I now leave with Damien in my black dress from Eddie’s funeral. It has been an emotional year as you can imagine and I am still recovering from it. We have dealt with great loss, but also filled with the joy of being re-united once again.

When we all arrive back, we stay outside for a while hugging each other, sharing each other’s pain. Then a true miracle happened. A snowflake gently drifted down from the sky for the first time in 18 years on Semastey.

Damien and I, as you imagine, got married and started a beautiful family of four. A beautiful five year-old daughter with her father’s eyes and a baby boy with his Grandmother‘s eyes. We eventually moved out of Semastey and moved into Copperville with Savannah and Samuel Davie. My awful nightmares have vanished, although still leaving me with mental scars.

I work as a full-time teacher, and Damien has fulfilled his lifetime dream of becoming a retired military officer. The economy has bounced back somehow and is on its way to good times. The war ended three years ago and all of the families were re-united. Including Savannah’s. Samuel Davie is the principal of the school I work at and still loves to work with children. Ruth grew up to be a beautiful young woman and also has started a little family with Jack. Yes, the Jack who lived next door to us back in Semastey. My mother and Father lived across the street of us, and Ruth and Savannah are our neighbors as well.

I nor Ruth or Damien will ever forget that journey we had to make those many years ago, that impacted our lives so severely. We will never forget our beloved Eddie, who gave the ultimate sacrifice to save us. I still have a scar just below my lip from when I had fallen in the forest, and I have another stretched across my calf as well. I guess that even if I did ever die in the dirt that horrifying day, it was all reality. Not Ruth, not Damien, not my parents, and most defiantly not Eddie, were anything close to fantasy. I finally know why Damien was willing to give his life for me, why my parents risked theirs everyday for me, and why Eddie did give his own for me. It is one simple word that I could never really grasp until now, and it’s name is love.