We opened the door to see the cops shining flashlights in our guilty eyes. At that moment I have never been so scared in my life. Emotions of every sort flying throughout my mind, I know I messed up. All of my friends were doing it, I thought it was okay. When all the people around are doing it, does not mean you need to. I should’ve trusted my gut and never have even taken that first sip.

One summer night my friends and I decided it’s the last few days of summer why don’t we have some fun. I was so young and innocent, I don’t know what I was thinking. Before this night I have never thought about doing anything like that. It was all giggles and smiles, we thought this was fine. Looking back, I just don’t see how I could ever think this was okay again. I knew this was not right to do but I gave in and I still did it. This isn’t me, it is not who I want to be seen as, I never wanted to be that girl.

The night went on, all of sudden we heard a knock on the door. We weren’t too scared we thought it was her mom. So, the most sober went and opened the door, all I could see was the police badge. My eyes focused in on the brown uniform with all the alarming equipment around his waist. I felt like I couldn’t breath, couldn’t move, and couldn’t even talk. My whole body was shaking I could not hold the tears of fear back. Frightening what was all awaiting I knew what I did was it from that? Was it a noise complaint? I didn’t know what was to come from all of this, which was the scariest part. From this second I felt my life and dignity started crumbling down, they said “We got an anonymous call that their is under age drinking here, is that happening here?” No one could let the truth out, we all repeatedly said no. What could they expect us to say when the cops were right in front of us. We then had to blow on the breathalyzer, I knew what I did and even lied. I knew I was about to get into a lot trouble.  I had to go home and face my parents. 

My mom finally answered after the sixth call. Talking to my mom I remember saying right away “Mom I messed up, I really messed up”. Having to say this to my own mother hearing the disappointment in her voice was the hardest thing. I have never seen my mom so upset at me. When she came inside she walked into a whole group of girls crying, parents crying, and the police standing there. Those were never my intentions. My own self-image was destroyed. I wasn’t the kind, start A girl anymore, I was now the party girl who drinks.

Next morning it felt like I was in jail, I didn’t leave my room all day. My phone was gone, to me it felt as if my life was gone. I never left my bed, I laid there crying nonstop and just thinking about everything I was about to go through. Thinking of what everyone thinks of me now, I felt as if I was a disgrace.  This is a way I never want to feel again, so at that moment I knew this was going to change myself. Later in the day, we found out some of our own friends called us in. As soon as I heard that I hated them, I can’t believe they put me through all of this. They don’t know how this is gonna affect the rest of my life. Over time I grew to release the hate and understand what I did was wrong.

At the time, I was in volleyball. I knew I had to tell my coach, that is just something no one can’t prepare for. I told my mom I can’t go and tell them, there is no way I have that strength. I was practicing over and over in my head what I planned to say. When I finally went to talk to the coaches what I practiced totally left my head, my mind was empty. After something finally came out, I could see the disappointment in their eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was let down my coaches. They told me I would have to attend every practice, but sit on the bench without the uniform on and cheer on my teammates. Looking back, that was so hard and so embarrassing to sit there while the whole crowd either knew what I did or, were making assumptions to what I had done. Everyone's good views on me were collapsing before my eyes.

Walking through the school halls feeling guilt, everyone knew what I had done. Changing friends, teachers, and students opinions on me was nothing I ever wanted for myself. My story was the talk of the school for a while, every time I went down the hallway there were eyes on me. People coming up to me telling me how dumb I was for getting caught doing that. I know I messed up and it will change me overall as a person so, I stayed strong. Everyone was telling what my future would look like with a minor on my record. That just ruined everything, that isn't how I want my future to look like at all. Luckily over time I got it off of my record, I will never do anything like that to mess up my life like that. It is unbelievable how one mistake like that could affect the rest of your life. 

This whole incident has not only changed me into who I am today, whereas changed every future decision I make. I have been through it all from this. In my house, in the school, and on the courts, this has simply shaped me into a much stronger person. I never knew the kind of strength I had within myself before this event. From this incident I demolished my self-image, I was no longer who I longed to be. I am still working on picking up the pieces of all the crumbling bits of my past. Every mistake in life is a chance to learn and grow.  I am truthfully glad I learned at a young age, my life is more than parties and alcohol. I now know I always have to trust myself in what I think is right for me.