My story, might be like anybody else, but was entirely different for me. It all started through a disease that many people don’t like to talk about, a word that can be easily used but when you are told you have it, it can be like a bullet that hits you or a cold shower, Cancer.  My uncle, a victim to this word, he was so important to us that we didn’t know until it was too late, he lived in Dallas, Tx, a place in which we would visit every chance we had. The day we got the news it almost killed my mother, her own brother was slowly withering away to nothing, you can only imagine what that felt, when he was bed bound we would always visit, my own mother thought that it was her responsibility to go see him, and she would push away tears when they denied her from taking a vacation, telling her that “who’s going to clean this section of the hospital”. It made me mad knowing that my own mother was sad and losing a piece of her own mind.

When we were told that he was okay, that he was fine, that he wasn’t a victim anymore, it was like a breath of fresh air, we finally had hope. My mother made phone calls to around the world spreading the word that everything is going to be okay, ain’t that a funny saying “everything is going to be okay.” It can either be something that can give comfort or it can be a lie altogether. I was happy for the time being, my grades went up and I was getting a hold of life all over again. It was one day when I was walking home that I got a bad feeling, I found my mother sitting on the couch looking out the window with a very distressed face, asking for help, No, more like screaming for help inside of her head, and I knew that there was another victim, and boy was I wrong, I was terribly wrong. The next day we dropped everything and went to Dallas, our second home. Everyone was devastated, but they had hope, “Va pasar como la otra vez, se va a ir i no va a regresar, te prometo,”.

“Everything is going to be okay”, repeated to myself, I hold on to these words with a death grip. The last words he ever told us was “ I’m stuck between a wall and swords, I want to be buried in San Salvador, but my daughter, I can’t just leave her with pictures, I want her to visit me; And this is how exactly how I’m stuck between a wall and swords.” We all decided it be best to bury him in Dallas. That was the downfall on all of us, we were accused by his wife that we were “pitying” them and that that’s why we were trying to bribe them with money. We moved along forgetting about that night, I woke up the next day with a mood that was more or less, happy or sad, I got into the car that was going to transport us to the sad barren place with so many people yet none to be seen.

As I stood there on his grave, I fixed his flowers and coffee, it was a peaceful time or so it seemed. The moment I looked up, I always regret it and always have nightmares about it, my uncle’s wife walked with a purpose towards us. She barked and barked about something that was useless, saying that “You always think you’re better, don’t talk to us ever again, don’t come by, don’t ask for help!”, my mother who wasn’t putting up with it decided to bark back and soon it was a whole war, it was like two stray dogs behind a gate barking at each other showing their teeth. Me and my brother had no choice but were thrown into it, my brother standing in front of them, his height was put to an advantage blocking both their view. I had a choice either say something or stay quiet, I made a stupid choice, to stay quiet, like a coward I would be lying to myself and to others if I said I wasn’t scared if I didn’t shed some tears.

But as a miracle, it started to rain, and soon progressed into a thunderstorm, it was as if my uncle was pushing us out, and eventually, it worked. We were in the car, everyone was silent except the talking between my mom and my other cousins saying that we should have had said this and this, I was just silent, looking out the window, not thinking about anything, just complete silence. The day people ask me, when were you ever scared? What happened that made your heart drop? I can’t help but remember it, even though I desperately try to forget it, it comes back knocking on the door like a family member. My story might be like the others but was entirely different for me.