Many people feel lost in their life because they do not have a specific goal that they want to achieve. But, these people could look back in their lives to a point where they struggled with a situation and create a goal based off of it. The time I reflected back to was when I was only five years old.Though I sensed immediately the significance of the moment at the time I did not know it would shape the path of my life. That summer before Kindergarten, I discovered the death of my older sister, who I never had the opportunity to meet. Eventually, this tragic experience would inspire my career path, and teach me to improve my life by looking back at times I have struggled, but overcome these problems.           

Before I had talked to my mother about my sister, I had no idea that she had existed, but I was surrounded with many memories of her in our house without even knowing it. It had started when my mom was watching over my brother and I during a summer day. My brother and I were bored and uninterested with the toys we had in our house. We really wanted to go outside and play with our friends who lived nearby, but my mom said it was scorching hot outside, so we would have to wait until the afternoon or evening to go outside. As I looked around the house, I noticed the numerous pictures of a baby girl with short hair. I had seen these pictures many times before, but I had never given it any thought, and both my dad and mom had never mentioned anything about the mystery girl to me or my brother. I assumed she was related to me in some form since she had the same cocoa- colored skin as me. For an unknown reason, my prying mind had gotten the best of me, so my brother and I shuffled to my parents’ room to confront my mom about the girl. Unaware of the despondency this would cause my mother, we cheerfully asked her who the girl was. My mother’s response and reaction to our question defined an important moment in my life.
           

My mother’s response to my question was a heavy hearted one, which brought me to tears as I felt the mournfulness my mom felt when she lost her one and only daughter. As soon as I had asked her the question, her mood changed from lighthearted to mournful and depressed. Barely holding back tears, my mother had told me that she was my older sister and that she had died at a young age. I asked her why I never got to see her before she died, and she told me that she had passed three years before I was born. She told me that she was only three years old when she died of cancer. My mother, brother, and I stood there speechless for what felt like an eternity. My brother and I were unsure how to react since we had never met our older sister. We asked our mom her name, and she told us that she was named Juda. Trying to cheer our mom up, we asked her more about Juda’s personality. My mother had described that she was playful, jolly, good-natured, and loved interacting with the other people she met. At this point, tears were running down her face. I could tell she was wretched with the loss of her daughter. My brother and I decided that it was best if we left her alone for a while, so we scurried out of her room. About an hour later, my mom came to us and asked if we wanted to see some of Juda’s toys and more pictures of her. We eagerly said yes and followed her to the closet of our guest room where she pulled out all the toys of Juda. We were amazed by the vibrant pink bear that she had. This toy particularly had stuck in my mind because I had seen them in other photos with her when she was in the hospital.  I think this toy was special to her and got her through the pain she faced.

My parents explained to me and my brother, when we were in middle school, that Juda had died from a brain tumor. I was upset by the news of my deceased older sister, but also inspired by my mother’s strength after facing a tragedy like this. Her sorrow inspired me to create a goal for my future.
           

Later in my life, people began to ask me what I wanted to do with my life. At that time I was unsure about what I wanted to do after high school. When I began to think about this in my own time, my mind brought me back to the day my mother told me, to make an important decision about my future and what I was going to do. I suddenly woke up to the reality of life when I went to middle school, when many people began asking me what I wanted to when I grow up. Unsure, I looked back the reaction of my mother when she told me about Juda, and I realized that I wanted to help others so that they would not have to experience the same pain that my mother faced, or that it would never happen to anyone else. I realized that if I would strive for this goal, I might find self-respect and confidence in myself after achieving this goal. I would have to work hard and long to accomplish this feat, but I knew that if I were to do this, I would make my parents family proud as well as support other families that may be facing the same struggles that my mother had faced. Though I may get emotionally distressed, thinking about my mom’s pain, if there is a situation occurring with others that may be similar to my family, I could better connect and help with the others facing the arduous position. With this goal in mind, I know that I would not stop trying to achieve this until I was in the position to be able to  help someone who might feel the same pain that my mom once did. I felt that I needed to accomplish this goal so that I could know that I was capable of doing things if I put my mind to it. Looking back in  my life where there was a sense of depression helped me forge a goal based off this misfortune. Although, it may be tough to look back upon, I hope that others would do the same thing and better themselves from the pain that they once suffered.
   

The tragedy of my older sister’s death and my mother’s discussion with me about her inspired me to become a neurological doctor as my career choice. Even though my mother’s reminiscing brought her to tears over the young, joyful daughter she once had, I could honor my sister by protecting others from feeling the same pain. I believe that when I accomplish this goal, I would find self-respect and confidence in myself. I want others who have not found a aspiration for the future, to look back at their life and find a time at which they faced a complication in order to better themselves and help those who might face the same problem.