after seeing so many people bullied on line i try my best to comfort one person at a time.

On October 5, 2015 I logged into my Gmail account to then go onto YouTube because I had gotten a notification earlier that day from my favorite YouTuber saying that they had uploaded a video so while clicking on the video I take notice of a video in the “recommended” section of this girl talking about her suicide attempts, after seeing so many videos and occurrences on the news of teens who couldn’t take it anymore I chose to select that video hoping that it wasn’t too late. After watching the video and taking notice that it was made about 2 months ago I was hoping it wasn’t too late and left a comment telling her that she could direct message me on Google+ seeing as I help people with these kind of situations in my free time.

Barely getting past the 2 comments I start to see people encouraging the attempts and hoping that she had succeeded such as “you should drink bleach, it hurts but it gets the job done” and “you should have tried harder, no one wants you here” becoming infuriated I start to furiously type about how most of them most likely didn’t even know her or how bad her situations were ultimately saying “how about instead of making fun of her and encouraging her, you treat her with some compassion.” After about an hour of getting messages myself telling me that I should also drink bleach I get a notification that someone had sent me a message. I ignore the comments because you can’t really get through to people who have been raised by the devil himself.

After opening the message it reads: Hello Faith, I’m Hailey you might know that from the video but I saw your message and I’d like to take you up on your offer to help me, to talk to me and possibly make me feel better (I hope). After reading the message I research everything I could as fast as I could before getting back to her and trying to talk to her. Everything she told me broke my heart, now I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone else about her struggles and just because this is school doesn’t mean I’m going to break that promise, I’m a girl of her word. After her telling me the things going on I give her the best advice I can in hopes that she takes it and follows it to the best of her ability. We talked for hours, even video chatting after we got to know each other a little better, we haven’t really made it to the point of exchanging numbers but I’m sure we’ll get there. After talking with her I notice that there are more comments just piling up in my notifications, one person even giving me a recipe for immediate death according to the internet, other comments were way to graphic to be school appropriate so I’ll move onto the next  event that took place the next day.

Around 12:00pm I get a video request from Hailey, wondering why she’s skyping me when she was supposed to be in school, I answer to loud sobs but a black screen, calling out to her about 4 times I finally see her face and she has a eye that’s on the edge of turning purple still visible even after trying to cover it up with makeup, she tells me every single detail as if it was now permanently etched into her brain which only enrages me more at how heartless a person could be to torture another human being who’s already torturing themselves. All I can think as she is telling me everything that is happening is that I want to protect her from the world but knowing I can’t I do my best to try and ease her and keep her mind off of everything that is happening around her, we kind of have our own little bubble where the only rule is: no thinking about the outside world when in the bubble. It is extremely comforting for the both of us as I have my own demons also, knowing that we are both going through something I think she feels as though I won’t judge her; which I never will.

3:00 pm I get another message from her saying that she couldn’t take it anymore, up until that point I thought I had succeeded in making her happy and it was disheartening to see that she was giving up and for about an hour I tried skyping her and messaging her on Gmail in order to get In Touch with her but to my surprise I took that message way out of context and she calls me on skype to tell me that she was just taking her YouTube channel down and that it would help stop at least some of the negativity, feeling proud of her, we decide that we would someday meet and knowing we have a connection now we knew we would be the best of friends. We still talk everyday always being able to find new things to talk about. This experience with her made me realize that I love helping and making people feel better even if it means pushing my problems away for a little while