I don't remember the date. I don't know why I was so depressed I don't even remember what classes I had that day. Sitting in my brothers truck I stared out the window. I felt so empty as I watched the familiar surroundings rush by. I know Bray could tell something was wrong. But he doesn't push, he just turns up the music and leaves me be. It's one of the things I love about him. He stopped in front of our apartment. The handle was broke so I had to roll down the window and open it from the outside. Once I had gotten out and closed the door he left for his friends house. His truck was loud, very loud, but I barely heard it. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I leaned back against the door, closing it, and just stood there for a second. I heard Addie whining from her kennel but I ignored her. Mike will let her out when he gets home. Numbly I walk to my room. My backpack slips off my shoulder and lands on the floor with  a Thunk. I'd get in trouble for that if anyone else was home. Barely aware of what I was doing I sit on the edge of my bed and pull out my phone. At the top of my frequently contacted list is MyGoof. Usually seeing the nickname I gave my boyfriend would make me smile. Today though I just hit the call button. My hands are shaking so bad I can't hold the phone so I put it on speaker then set it on the bed beside me. After three rings his voice comes through, "Hey baby." Those two words and suddenly I'm sobbing. Sobbing about everything and nothing at the same time. His voice changes from silly to concerned. "Baby what's going on?" I can't respond. I just keep crying and fall back on the bed, curled around my phone. At this point I'm becoming hysterical. "Baby girl talk to me, tell me what happened. Shut the F*** up for a second man I'm talking." He snaps at whoever he's with, probably TyTy or Gingy. My sobbing gets worse and worse.

"Baby are you home?" His voice is panicked. No, no he can't come over. The thought pulls me back enough for me to choke out, "Grounded 'member." My voice is barely more than a mumble but he must understand because he starts cursing. I start crying harder. "No, no baby I'm not mad at you please."

His voice is back to soothing. "I'm just worried about you babe. Idk what to do. I want to come over and hold you but your mom would probably kill me. "

My sobs increase again to the point where I'm having trouble breathing. "Shhhhh breathe come on. In, out baby."

I try doing as he says but my breaths are shakey. "That's it keep going sweetheart. You're okay." I don't know how long I lay there with him coaxing me back to normal. Finally a blow out an even breath, "I'm sorry." My nose is stuffed. I am not a pretty crier which is one of the reasons why I hate crying in front of people. "Babe don't," He scolds me gently, "Don't apologize just tell me what's going on." I think for a second. "I don't know." "What do you mean you don't know babe?" We go through this everytime I get randomly depressed or have a random attack. "I don't know what's wrong..." I whisper. "What baby?" "I don't know what's wrong," I repeat louder this time. "Are you sure? I'm right here if there's something you need to talk about." I shake my head even though he can't see me and bite my lips so I don't start crying again. "I know that babe. I really don't know what's wrong though. It was so random I just knew I needed to call you. I wanted to hear your voice. Please believe me I'm being honest I'd never lie to you I just..." My voice breaks as I start to panic. "No baby no." He pleads. "It's okay I know. I know you'd tell me if you knew I was just checking. Breathe babygirl, it's okay. Everything is okay now." I start taking slow, deep breaths again. As I do my eyes start drooping. Crying and panicking wears me out. "You sound better now babe and I know you are tired. Get under that horse blanket of yours and rest." I smile to myself, he knows me so well. "Promise you'll call?" I mumble sleepily. It's a good thing he understands my sleepy voice. He chuckles softly, "Yes baby. I'll call you tonight." "Mmmm" I hum in response and he laughs again. "Sweet dreams babe." He hangs up the phone and I fall asleep before I can get under the blanket with my phone against my chest.