This article is a response to a prompt in English class that stated “April is the cruelest month. Explain why or why not.” Initially, I agreed, because it was (and still is) nearing the end of the year, a lot was required of us Laurel girls during the past month or so, and for some odd reason, there was an unlimited amount of drama. But through it all I have grown exponentially, and April was more fulfilling and eye-opening than cruel.

What started as a petty conflict with a friend resulted in a major life change for me. I lost who I thought was my best friend and found my real bestie ? me, myself, and I. After a very difficult day at school, I received an email from my mom titled “Great Article on Friends ? Read When You Need Support!” The article talked about the author’s personal journey of learning the meaning of a true friend. She openly discussed the many times she “prematurely categorized people as allies” or walked around “oblivious to the frenemies idling in her life” and challenged readers to analyze their relationships. She asked many questions but one really spoke to my heart ? “Would this person feel your pain and automatically be at your side during a difficult time?” This was particularly daunting as I sat in English class alone while my former friends sat in solidarity right across from me.

It was even more appropriate when they began campaigning for others to exclude me. When Prince died, my mom kept reminding me of his incredible song “Sometimes It Snows In April”. Well, that's Cleveland, Ohio for you, but more than that… to her, it meant that sometimes, it takes a little longer for the sun to emerge, but when it comes, it’s even more special.

For the longest time, I was one of the many people who believed that their life would be changed for the better with a multitude of “friends” who would, at the drop of a hat, be there for you… not necessarily when you needed them in a trying time, but just when you needed a certain amount of people at a party or outing. They were also the ones you would feel comfortable talking to about any person or thing you were having a problem with, only for them to do the same thing to others about you. Although part of me knew that being involved in these fake relationships was not going to be beneficial in the long run, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time to avoid being alone and not be doing whatever anyone else was doing. But when things started to fall apart for me in that department, I realized that there were better, more fulfilling things for me down the line, and that it was better to be alone and confident in myself and my truth than lonely with people who didn’t care about me. Although April was, yes, rough, the last line of that email sums up why I had a change of heart and why April 2016 was a month I will never forget the month I learned the true meaning of a friend and the month I learned that I can be my own best friend or my worst enemy. I’m choosing friendship. The last line of the article was as follows:

“Make some changes if you need to, and never apologize for cutting ties with toxic people. Try to keep your circle small, and always remember to be mindful of whom you decide to call a friend. The sooner you know the difference, the better.”

I agree.