Moving on can be a difficult thing, especially if it involves moving on from a past lover, a deceased pet or family member. For me, the biggest thing I had to move on from was after my first girlfriend broke up with me. At first it was hard, but I consistently did three things to help get over her and move on from that relationship. Those three things were: telling myself that it is temporary, everything happens for a reason, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Telling myself that this terrible thing I was experiencing was only temporary was a huge help. It was especially hard to see a couple standing together in the hallway, eating dinner at a restaurant, or watching my friends with relationships. I felt empty and I had to go through the same feelings of loss that I’d grown used to. It is a terrible feeling and could not have easily changed the way I felt in an instant. Over the course of weeks and months, I slowly learned that repeating “this is temporary” helped me to get through most of those difficult moments. Despite feeling depressed all the time and always wondering whether or not I could have done anything differently that could have swayed her decision to leave, I always reassured myself those three simple, comforting words.
Something else I told myself was that everything happens for a reason. Believing in this was the hardest for me because I was not ready for that relationship to end. I thought that it would have lasted much longer than it actually did, and when it did end, I realized that I would never know what it could have been or what it could have turned into. I struggled every day trying to figure out how to move on in the world. It took a little bit of time before I started to believe that this happened for a reason. I found that when you are engulfed by darkness, it is difficult to keep a clear mind and accept that this event happened for a reason. I could not find out or think of what this relationship could have taught me. It took a long time before I made it through this stage. Eventually, I found it. It really made me think. I thought of multiple scenarios and reasons for what I was supposed to take out of this experience. One of the most valuable things I really took from that three-month-long experience was that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

That light at the end of the tunnel is always there if you look for it, no matter how dark that tunnel may be, you just have to squint and sooner or later you will realize that it has always been there, you just had to stop looking at the wall and start moving past your issues. The continual struggle of trying to get through the day and trying not to get lost in the darkness was a real challenge. It was very easy for me to find what I thought was comfort in the dark. Sitting alone on my bed with the lights off while listening to depressing music became mundane and part of my daily routine. I finally knew that I was starting to see the brighter side of things when things started to slowly change. There was more and more happiness starting to seep back into my day. It increased as time passed. The more I focused on the happier things in life, the more happiness started to find itself back to me. It took a lot of effort. Getting out of that tunnel may take a little time but no matter the amount of time and effort put into moving on, it is 100% worth it. A positive outlook will always help things along the way.

None of these will help if you don't try to help yourself move past whatever challenge or obstacle you are trying to overcome. Moving past something is an exhausting trek because it takes a lot of time and effort while it is so easy to say ‘I quit’ and stop working towards getting better altogether. Telling myself the situation was temporary, knowing that everything happens for a reason, and concentrating on seeing the light at the end of the tunnel were the biggest things that helped me move on from a darker part of my past to help me into a better and brighter future. Life has its ups and it has its downs, but that should not dominate how you live your life.