Wow. It's been a while. Sure, I've done good things, but for some reason I just feel like it's not good enough. This is personal. The people that know me too well, tell I'm too hard on myself, and the people that don't know me well enough tell me that I need to work harder. I just want to write something great. (In my opinion), my best works come from the heart. Honestly, what's more pure and from the heart than my own thoughts that I think. It's personal, it's deep, so what's wrong? I think the fact that it's not creative writing is what's wrong, which is what I've always been writing, but maybe I need a long break from that. This morning, on March 2nd, I got an email from teen ink saying I haven't been published in four months. That hurt. It's not at all their fault, but it did. I mean, I need them to send me those messages to make sure that I realize that I should write something great again. I responded with, “It takes time for me to write something good.”, then I erased good, and wrote great. The thing is, everytime I get published, I feel like it needs to be drastically better than my last. If it isn't, than I feel guilty or bad. I get so discouraged and disappointed. I feel like I need to publish something great but someone keeps telling me, “You're only in high school, what other students than you know have multiple books published?” He would say. That's a great point, but for some reason it didn't change my thoughts. I want to write something great but all of my inspirational tactics don't work anymore. I wouldn't call it writer's block, but maybe it is, who knows. The point of this is not to be sad, but to reach a conclusion within myself. If I can't even write out my thoughts, my conclusion is that I can't even think straight, which means I definitely can't write anything. So this is the part that's not so personal. This is going to be just me planning out my book…

I want something shorter than three pages so that I don't have to publish it as a novel. That's because my novels never get good votes for some reason. (I think they don't get good votes because they aren't read because they are too long).

I want it to focus on a big decision within the main character's mind. I want the setting to be relatively irrelevant, yet mentioned. I've got some notes, ideas on the major decision, a few variations of that decision, the setting, but there's a few things I'm missing. I want it to be organized, and in a mind so cluttered, like mine, it's incredibly difficult.

Next, I need memories for the character to reminisce about, to write about what thoughts take place in that character's mind, and to show pros and cons in each different decision of the character.

I, lastly, need to decide what variation of the major decision I want. I feel like all of these thoughts were organized, stayed on a path, easily transitioned, and wasn't messy. This is good practice. The major decision will just need time to think about. The memories of reminiscing will not be too hard and I feel like they may come along as I write, if not, that'll take more time. Time. Not something I like to waste. Not something I like to receive emails about how much has past, but, it's just reminders, I'm thankful that they exist. I am aware that I can shut the notifications off and opt out of receiving the emails, but I'd rather not. There's a lot of things that no one likes but helps everyone in one way or another. The thing more important than being stressed about this is to write something great and have fun with it. I lose track of that so often.

P.s.
I've just finished my short story, "A Hummingbird's Flight". I'm confident that it may be the best thing I've ever written. I hope that this helped you get past some writers block just like it helped me. Thanks for reading.