The day was January 22nd, 2013. I had woken up at 7:30 AM, late as was usual for me. I got out of bed, dressed myself, brushed teeth, threw on some cologne, and did my hair. It was a special day though, I was going to hang out with my best friend Lexi. Lexi was what I’d describe as perfect. She had bright auburn hair, she was 4’7” with a thin frame, a beautiful face, and eyes that could look into your soul if they chose. I honestly wasn’t surprised when I found out that she was a model. More important than how she looked was that she was essentially my twin, she was able to understand me in ways that no one else could; I didn’t even have to speak for her to know what I meant. Hiding things from her was never something I had to be concerned about, I could tell her I just stole candy from a kid and she would wait to hear why I had done it before she even thought about judging me.          

I had gotten out the door at around 7:50 AM, my mom was yelling for me to hurry up. I walked out the door and I was smiling, I had the feeling it was going to be a great day. There was bright white snow covering the once green ground, ice was glistening on the sidewalks, the sky was as blue as you could hope for. Things felt right. I got to school just in time to hear our principle finish the announcements and had heard a loud buzz that signified that the speakers were shutting off. I had trudged my way to the late table and the guy said “Late again I assume?” if I hadn’t of been so hopeful I might have punched him in the mouth. Instead of that I handed him my ID, he scanned it, and I was on my way. I walked the long way around the school because I was thinking, who wants to be in class anyways. After about 10 minutes I made it to my Algebra 2 class. My teacher asked me why I was late and my brain boiled over with excuses hit a dog on the way here, mom had car troubles, backpack wouldn’t work, fell down stairs “Hit my mom with a car and she wouldn’t work” Screw it, he doesn’t care anyways. He gave me a confused look, I walked to my seat and sat next to my green haired friend Michelle, and the rest of the day is just a blur. I was excited to see Lexi so I guess I just went into autopilot.           

The next thing I knew I was on the bus, driving towards Lexi’s place. I got off at the third bus stop and started walking up the long snowy sidewalk that led to where she lived. When I got there I walked in and she wasn’t there, it was just me and her stoner brother talking a bit. His name was Dante; he had brown eyes (reddish at the time), was tall and very lanky, and had this weird hairstyle that seemed to flow up and to the right. After a few minutes of small talk he had left to go smoke pot in the basement and I was left sitting there. It was just me and all my thoughts. It only took her about 5 minutes to get there but God, it was the longest five minutes of my life. Maybe the bus hit a patch of ice, maybe there was a bus change she wasn’t notified of, maybe….    I heard the creak of the front door and got up and ran over to her. I picked her up over my head, god she must have been light because I was weak back then but it was like lifting a kitten. She was wearing a dark puffy jacket with a little brown and black fur lining around the hood and wrists, dark blue jeans, and boots. It may have been a pretty normal thing for a girl to wear but she made things look 10 times better. We made our way to the kitchen; the counters went around the entirety of the room with a tiny little opening so you could get in and out. Lexi was very odd with her eating habits; she would sometimes just microwave a bowl of chocolate chips and frosting and eat it with a spoon, but hey, who was I to judge I thought as I shoved my 12th taquito into my gob. While she was turned away I snuck over to where her heels were and put them on, not well since my feet were twice her size. I had waddled over to her and asked her how I looked, she started laughing and couldn’t stop, and it made all the pain that my feet were in worth it. We went to the living room which was adjacent to the kitchen, I went around, and she climbed through the opening in the wall between the living room and kitchen. It was a fairly tiny room; it had a long white couch and a small white chair over to its right. Lexi turned on Your Grammar Sucks, which was a dumb show about people on the internet that make spelling and grammatical errors; I believe it was YGS 64. She sat on the chair and I took up the couch. We were probably sitting there for maybe 5, 10 minutes until she came over to where I was sitting and sat next to me. I had put my arm around her and pulled her closer, she was really thin and small but she didn’t feel bony. She sat up and looked at me, staring at me with her deep green eyes, my heart feels like its beating out of my chest. I wasn’t able to move, I wanted to stay like that, and it was just staring and stillness for a few minutes. She started to move closer and closer and then booped me on the nose and smiled. “Do you want to come up to my room and see something cool?” “Yea, let’s go”         

She grabbed my hand and led me up the excessively steep steps to her room and she told me to wait here for a second. I heard her tell me to come in so I walked in and there she was, pointing a katana at me. I put up my fists and she lunged at me, I caught it between my arm and side and pretended to die, ow, she actually got me. I felt blood trickle down my side, but I kept smiling, in my eyes she could do no wrong. Somehow after that I had ended up on her bed listening to her talk about all the interesting stuff she collected. Most of it was costumes, makeup, and stuff from Scott Pilgrim. She jumped up and sort of belly flopped onto me. She handed me this black dragon onesie thing and told me to put it on. I told her that obviously wasn’t gonna happen since I had a foot and a half on her, so instead she put it on.      

We made our way downstairs, turned on the console, and played Ryse: Son of Rome. We were probably playing that till around 4 o’ clock and then switched to watching a dumb horror flick. I sneaked up on her and stole her phone, which she was obviously not a fan of since she tried to tackle me. She did not succeed because she basically bounced off of me. She was persistent though since she got up and started trying to push me onto the couch, which also didn’t work since she was probably about 80 lbs and I was 135. She had to resort to other forms of violence, she picked up a green plastic T-Rex and started to whack me with it. It made this stupid little roar each time it made contact. This was fairly annoying so I gave her back her phone. Her parents came home soon after this and they had invited me to have dinner with them, I accepted. We ate latkes, green beans, and porkchops. They were asking me all types of questions and I was trying to give to least incriminating answers possible. After dinner, Lexi and I went back to finishing the movie. Unfortunately my mother had picked me up while there was still 15 minutes left. I was pretty sad that I had to go because that was the happiest that I had been in a very long time. But, I couldn’t stay forever, so I went home, got ready for bed, and slept.           

I woke up at 7:30 AM, got up, brushed teeth, showered, etc. I was feeling pretty happy that day since the day before it was a perfect 10. It wasn’t often that I smiled after waking. I went to text Lexi because she was the first thing on my mind. I picked up my phone and saw something that made my heart drop, 10 missed calls and a text. I punched in my password and read the message. It was a suicide note. It said she loved me and was sorry that she had to go but she couldn’t take it anymore. My smile shifted to a look of anguish. Time stopped. My hands were starting to shake and I tried to get to her phone number and call it but I kept hitting all the wrong buttons, no, no, no, this can’t be happening, I should have been there, I could have stopped her. I finally had got to it and was in the same process. Call, voicemail, redial. Call, voicemail, redial. Call, voicemail, redial. I couldn’t do it anymore, my hands were shaking so hard I couldn’t hold up my phone. I was rocking back and forth with tears coming down my face like pieces of a broken beaded necklace. My mom came in and tried to get me up since I did have school, but it was pointless, I wasn’t snapping out of it any time soon. I don’t want to live without her, if there’s a God, please don’t let her be gone, if this is a nightmare wake me up. I was just sitting there all day, shaking, listening to her voicemail, the only way I could hear her speak to me again.