Walking up the few steps couldn’t have been more frightening.  It felt as if every bone in my  body grew stiff and heavy.  Greeted by two of my cousins,the rest of the house was noiseless.  It was as if there was no one in my presence even though I was surrounded by bodies.  On a normal holiday the children would be playing in the basement while the adults made small talk,but on this Christmas all was well with the children,but the adults sat their like stone rocks.  It was obvious the missing link was my uncle.
   

Walking into my aunt’s house for dinner that Christmas was different.  With my uncle who died a few months before not there it made everything less enjoyable.  It felt as if no one was in my view and I saw nothing but black. I snapped back into reality when my aunt Barb broke the silence, to announce that dinner will be done in a few minutes.  I knew that once dinner was served the silence would form across us once again. Some people who joined us for Christmas dinner who weren’t normally their tried a conversation or two,but it died down within seconds.
   

By dinner time the quietness was accustomed.  No noise,no movement,in this moment we would be saying thanks to everyone and everything we are thankful for.  With the chair 3 seats away from me empty, desired for the warmth of an individual. I wouldn't think anyone could start us in our grace if it wasn't my uncle jack.  Within minutes the awkwardness got to the point where we just started eating.  The clatter of the plates was all I heard,a few conversations here and there but besides that it was silent.  I didn’t know weather to scream or just sit their.  With the one person who made this dinner so valuable not here it makes everything uncomfortable.
    

I ate dinner in silence not looking up from my plate,picking at my dinner as if it was a plate full of dirt. You could feel the sad vibe within the people at the table,it grew heavier and heavier until someone broke.  First my mom,her eyes red and watery she left the table walked upstairs into my uncle's room.  After her went my aunt Norma,cousin Alice,and more.  Hearing the broken hearted sobs from people I love was a big pain throughout my body.  Numb and isolated I left the table and speed walked to the living room and sat by the Christmas tree,to distance myself from family.
  

Sitting by the Christmas tree with the rest of my family joining me after about an hour.We opened gifts said our thanks and went out the door I was so hesitant to walk into,but now was relieved to be walking out.  This night I learned a lot about family and value.  Don't take your family for granted let them know how much you love them and care for them,because you don't know how much time you are going to have with them.  How much you will regret not doing this enough once it's too late.