What is depression like? Depression is like having no air; like you can’t breathe. You feel like you're thinking and moving in slow motion. Insignificant things suddenly feel like they are significant and you become sad over those little unimportant things. It’s like you're whole world is glass and you're just waiting for it to shatter at you're feet, smiling suddenly becomes awkward and stiff and it just feels unnatural. You honestly feel like you're drowning or like everything is cloudy and gloomy even on sunny days. Depression is the worst because you're just irritated with everyone all the time even if they didn’t do anything, you don’t feel like you’ll make it, because you don’t feel anything but sad.
    

Who was I? I was a completely different person than I am now, I felt small. I was a shell of the person I have grown to be since. I was sad, I wasn’t interested in things I used to be anymore, like sports and such. I stopped smiling, I think I honestly forgot how. I had a constant weight on my chest of faking that I was happy, even though I wasn’t. There were days that were worse than others, days where I couldn’t even get out of bed, I would tell my mom I was “sick” and do nothing but stare at a ceiling fan go around all day. Some days weren’t as bad, where I would even be able to give off a small awkward half smile, but it was very unusual. I grew apart from my friends, I could barely even talk to them anymore. It killed me not being able to be part of their everyday conversations, and to be so awkward around them. I missed them but I couldn't get out of the constant funk I was in and I couldn't relate to things they would talk about, so I stopped hanging out with them as much. What bothered me the most though, was that my depression was taking over my life.
    

It took me a long time and it was very hard to learn to cope with my sadness, but I did it. I just took it small step by small step. I was tired of feeling exactly that, tired, I was drained and sad all the time. It definitely wasn't a quick or easy process but overcoming depression is far from impossible. The key for me was definitely the starting small and taking it from there, small step by small step. I figured out talking to one person about it helped a lot, because there wasn’t a bunch of different things that people wanted me to try, it was just one person making me feel cared for because they listened. That person was my best friend, Josh. Since then we’ve grown apart and now we barely even talk anymore, but I still thank him whenever I get the chance. I tried to engage in social things even if I didn't want to or didn't feel like it. Staying active helped me a lot. What helped me the most though was finding the little things that made me feel a small amount better, like music, art, or photography. It was the small things that made me feel good.
    

The hardest thing about overcoming my depression was definitely not having my family’s help. They didn't get that you simply don't have to have a reason to be depressed. It's something wired in you're body that you're feelings of sadness, anger, and defeat, hit you a lot harder than other people. No matter how hard you try that will never go away and all you can learn to do is deal with it. I slowly got out of my habits of harming myself, physically, and mentally. It was very hard because I would be somewhat okay for a week or so and then the sadness would just hit me and I fell back into it. My family just didn’t understand me, or my feelings, and that made everything ten times worse, not having support and having to overcome it myself. I remember when I figured out my mom really didn't understand was when all she did was told me to “stop being depressed”, then it hit me that she was more oblivious to it all then I thought.
    

It took me over a year to overcome it but I’m mostly better now. I am back with my friends, I’m barely ever at home because I’m always at other people's houses. I started playing sports again, too. I smile now and even laugh. There are times when I fall back into my habits still to this day, but I’ve learned coping mechanisms to help with it. The sadness is still there, but it's not a weight on my chest anymore, the anger doesn’t burn inside me like it used to. It feels like having a the weight of the world off my shoulders and it’s great. I’m not drained anymore. I’m still tired, extremely tired, but I’m more awake and more alive than I was ever before.