It was an ordinary Wednesday like any other, the same people, the same classes, the same schedule and the same routine. It was a chilly day and the wind was so strong it almost blew the leaves out of the trees, the day had gone by really slow and I wanted to go home already. I kept checking the clock anxious for it to mark 3:15, it was 3:10 five more minutes I thought to myself and I could be free. Those 5 minutes lasted forever and the next thing I knew the bell was ringing and I was headed to my locker. I grabbed my back bag and went running outside as if someone was chasing me, but no one was. I was wondering around the parking lot when I noticed that my sister’s car had not arrived yet. I called my sister to ask her why she wasn’t here yet but she wouldn’t pick up her phone. I was about to call my mother to tell her that my sister wasn’t here yet but I recognized someone. My father was walking towards me.

“Amanda, I’m here to pick you up,” he told me as we walked towards the car.
“Where’s my sister?” I asked him.
“We’ll talk about that later,” he said in a serious voice.

I finally arrived home after a confusing ride with my father. The moment I entered the house everything seemed weird, something was going on but I just couldn’t figure out what it was. My mom was not home and the woman who cleans the house kept telling me to eat my food before my mom arrived. Suddenly my phone started ringing, I checked who was calling hoping it would be my mom explaining me everything, but it was just my sister. I picked up expecting the same old ‘where are you’ but instead she was crying, my sister was crying over the phone.

“Where is mom?” my sister sobbed.
“I don’t know, what’s wrong?” I kept asking, but she wouldn’t answer my question.
“I’ll tell you later, gotta go.” She mumbled and hung up the phone before I could say anything.

‘Okay’ I whispered under my breath. I wasn’t hungry anymore. I started getting up from the table when the doorbell rang, I ran to the door hoping to get answers from my mother, I opened the door and no one was there. Ugh, it was probably one of those kids ding dong ditching. I closed the door again and went to my room. The doorbell rang again, this time I didn’t run to the door because I knew it still wouldn’t be my mother. I recognized clicking of her shoes, my mother's’ shoes in the hallway. I swung out my bedroom door and there she was, hunched up in the hallway outside of my door with her sunglasses on.

“Mom!” I shouted, “What’s wrong?” I spouted out, ready to get some answers.

The doorbell rang again, my mother ran to the door, she did not want to tell me either, I figured. I’d have to find out on my own. It was my sister on the door, it sounded like she was fighting with my mother but I couldn’t make out the words they were saying.

“Why didn’t you tell me about grandpa” my sister kept repeating those same words to my mother.
Suddenly everything came crashing down, it was obvious, why hadn’t I figured it out before? My grandfather had died. He had passed onto another life. My grandfather had left us; he had left my grandmother deal with this on her own. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t so I went to my room and closed the door. I didn’t want to see anybody. Why did this happen I thought, why did this happen to me, why did they take him of all the people. I curled up in a ball unable to think straight on what to do. I heard muffled voices outside my bedroom door but I didn’t care to make out what they were saying.

“Amanda” my mom said through the door. “Let me in” she whispered.

“I want to be alone.” I told her.

This is all a dream, I thought. I am going to go to my grandfather’s house and he is going to be sitting in his usual chair besides the window reading a newspaper alongside my grandmother. I drifted off into sleep with this thought. A few moments later I felt someone rubbing my back. I opened my eyes and there were both my parents not saying anything even though I could see the sadness in their eyes.

My father broke the silence in the room and stuttered, “We have to go to the wake.”
Before I knew it, there I was, standing in front of the doors unable to go inside. I still didn’t want to see anyone, especially not my grandmother and her sad eyes but there she was, just like I imagined she would be. I had never seen her this way before, her face was pale and her eyes were full of emptiness as if she wasn’t even her even though I knew she was. She came up to me and hugged me; I didn’t want to let her go. If I felt incomplete I didn’t even want to imagine what she was feeling. People who I knew and people who I had never seen before came to say goodbye to my grandfather. Everyone kept going inside and coming out of a strange room. I knew he was inside but I didn’t want to let him go. Not yet. Why do people come when he is dead and not when he was alive I thought to myself. I went outside and sat on a bench. My grandfather used to try to scare us every chance he got, he got us candy from ‘all around the world’, hid them in his closet and gave them to us when we were good, my grandfather also used to play the doctor with us, he used to put our favorite songs on the radio while we were in the car and sing along with us.

I was lost in my thoughts when all of a sudden a voice interrupted me, “Amanda” it said. “Amanda come inside”, I looked up, and it was my mother. I could see the sadness in her face with her wet, red eyes and the tears running down her face. It was finally the time, I thought. This moment would have eventually arrived, I had to let go of him, and I had to let my grandfather pass on to another life. I kept feeling as if this was a dream but the moment I saw the casket that contained my grandfather’s now dead body, I knew it was real. It finally hit me; I would have to live a life without someone I truly loved. It was like all the stars had abandoned the night sky and I was left alone. I left the room with my head down knowing this was the last time I would ever get to see him again.

I woke up the next morning looking around the room wondering where I was. Suddenly the memories started flowing back into me, my stomach sank and I felt as if I was underwater with a sudden urge to breath. There are good days and there are bad days, and this was one of them. It was one of those sad days in which the sun stays hidden and the clouds come out. I looked to the right and saw my mother with her concerned eyes.

“Amanda, everything is okay, you are not going to school today we are spending the day here.” She told me; I just smiled at her. I looked to the left and saw my grandmother looking at his husband’s casket with a broken heart and it made me realize how much I need to appreciate my time with the people I love because like my grandfather, they could disappear in a matter of seconds. We can go through this, I thought, we are going to get passed this. My grandfather may have passed away on to another unknown place but he will forever remain on our hearts along with his memories.

My grandfather passing away made me realize that I should have spent with him therefore I am now going to appreciate everyone and everything I have now because I never know when it might be gone, and I know my family is going to do that as well. Today, whenever I remember him I try to keep from crying because of his loss and instead smile because I know that I’ll see him again somewhere, someday. The death of my grandfather affected my life in a negative way in life since remembering him is easy, I do it constantly; but missing him is a heartache that will never go away.