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Words Only A Writer Could Write
What will you ever do with a creative writing minor? You should minor in business, or education, what are you thinking?
This is to you, one of my skeptics,
Writing was never a choice I made, the task came as a quirk, and as soon as I found myself scripturient,all hope was lost in my parent’s chimeras of a future for me in marine biology or engineering or pre-med or pre-law or pre-anything for that matter. Choosing writing as a future wasn’t a zugzwang, writing smoothed the kinks of my quintessence as sun to a heliophiliac or dance to one tortured with tarantism. I fashioned a love for letters and words and how I could maul, mutilate, and mar my reader with one simple recumbentibus. By pressing ink to paper or fingers to keyboard I could confess the infandous, create fantasies or tell of truths, give hope to the hopeless, and kiss the cold-hearted ktenologists. Therefore, my dear ultracrepidarian, what is your passion? Do you possess anything that makes your soul flourish and flutter, even something as foolish as pogonotrophy? For in human nature comes human error and I cannot help the error (if you wish to call it so) that I am in love with writing, and will continue to worship at it’s window until my bones shrink and my joints shrivel. So no, I will not fall into the hands of a business minor or sink into an education degree- though kudos to those who may. You can keep your graduate schools and PhD’s, they’re not for me.
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scripturient- possessing a violent desire to write
zugzwang- a position in which any decision or move will result in problems
heliophilia- the desire to stay in the sun, love of sunlight
tarantism- a disorder characterized by an uncontrollable urge to dance
recumbentibus- a knockout punch, either verbal or physical
infandous- unspeakable or too odious to be expressed or mentioned
ktenology- the science of putting people to death
ultracrepidarian- a person who gives opinions and advice on matters outside of one’s knowledge
pogonotrophy- the act of cultivating, or growing and grooming, a mustache, beard, sideburns, or other facial hair