To put it simply, I'm a proud gay guy, I may not be brave or honest about it 100% of the time but I'm still very confident and proud about it nevertheless.

To put it honestly, for my entire life, I've always felt like a girl trapped in a boy's body and I always wanted people to look at me as a girl despite my physical appearance as a boy. This made it hard for me to get many friends, and has made me bitter about life at times, but nonetheless, I know we should always be who we truly are, and for that I have no regrets.

Now back to the story, it happened this year, my classmate who is a guy has always been nice to everyone,  including me, I don't have many male classmates or school mates who are kind to me, as I guess it's because they don't understand me yet. But yeah, this classmate who I will call FL is extremely kind and caring to me, and over time I developed a very strong and emotional crush to him. It felt so real.

I guess it was because not many guys are nice to me, and also because it was a hormonal stage of my life, I easily fall in love with any guy who shows me a little niceness. Everyday, I try to catch his attention, I try talking to him and try being as interesting as I can, sitting with him when I get the chance. But every time I do such things, he doesn't really seem to care, and I get disappointed every time. Another thing upsetting me was whenever I see him talking to another girl, I get extremely jealous, the intensity of my envy was unbelievable, even for me.

The reason I get so upset, is because I know that he's straight, he will never like me, so I came up with a compromise, instead of being a romantic friend, I'll just try to be his best friend. I ended up hurting myself more and more, whenever I try to impress him, it doesn't really work, our conversations are awkward and short, and it seems as though he will never think of me as an important friends.

The crush eventually ended, after 10 months, I realized, I didn't want to have a normal friend, and that was all FL can be for me, just a normal friend. I hung on to this crush for so long because I thought I was never going to find another guy who would be so nice to me. But then I realized, if I just keep my hopes up and not give up, I'll find another guy who might be both kind and interested next time.

Moral of my story, a lot of people misunderstand homosexuals and bisexuals, I don't know how they think of us, but I just want to say that we're just like any straight person out there, we're also just looking for innocent love that will make us happy, we like any straight person just want someone we can talk to, someone we can hold hands with, someone who is kind to us. That's all, don't need to over-analyse us, and close your doors from us, we're just normal people looking for and deserving of love. We can compromise, so should you.

Lastly, you shouldn't impress someone just to make them like you, these things have to come naturally, and when you're in love, you shouldn't have to feel sad or jealous, once you do, it's time to find someone else, there's a lot of fish in the sea.