I swear, everything was normal until I woke up that fateful day.  I was in seventh grade, just another day of knowledge.  For some reason though, when I opened my eyes to the sound of my alarm clock, I felt a sudden surge of darkness in me.  I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to go to school, and I just wanted to sleep.  Sadly, I didn’t really think much of it and got out of bed anyway.  I got ready for school, the usual routine, but for some reason, I felt like crying.  This…heaviness was so mysterious to me, but I continued on with my usual morning like it was nothing.
  I don’t remember much about the first day, but I do remember that this feeling kept getting worse.  It was like an illness I couldn’t recover from, like a light cold.  You don’t think much about it, thinking you’re going to get better tomorrow, but that thought slowly died.  This heaviness, this darkness, this sticky feeling of getting stuck is growing in on me.  I know I can get out though, I’ll be okay.  I was scared, and this thing was making me sad, but I did the only thing I could for the time being, I just put on a mask.  The thought of being a burden on others was too much for me to bear.
  “Are you alright?” they would ask with a slight frown as I just sat there, empty.
  “Hm?  Oh yeah I’m fine!  Don’t worry about me,” I would say but a thought would chime in, sounding like my voice.
Yeah…everything’s fine.  I don’t want you to worry about me, I’m just a burden in this world.

  Funny, that doesn’t sound like me at all.  I must be going crazy.  I kept going, somehow, and I remember I met him.  I can’t remember where, but I met him around this time, weeks, maybe months after this darkness took over me.  It’s so silly to think that the days started to blur together, in an endless time loop that nobody can escape from.
  “Hello!” he whispered casually.
  I looked around for the owner of the voice to see my friends play games in the sun while I sit in the shade, all by myself.

They don’t need me, I bet they’re not even thinking about me…

  That’s so strange…I never thought that way about my friends.
  “Hey now don’t forget me!  I said hello to you.”
  “Who are you?  Where are you?” I asked, trying to avoid looking like a lunatic talking to spirits or anything.
  “Don’t say things out loud, and you need your mind to look at me.”
  I sighed and thought about the owner of this voice.  He was wearing black, like rags were lazily stitched together.  His face was hidden in shadows, and next thing I knew, I came back to reality to go home.  That night I talked to him.
  “So…who are you?” I asked with innocence and curiosity in my voice.
  “I’m Ankoku no Ha, or Black Blade.  You gave me this name.”
  “I don’t recall giving anyone this name,” I sighed to myself and fell asleep.

  More time passed, I don’t know how much so stop asking me.  I began writing about this heaviness within me but to no avail.  I tried talking about it to peers, afraid of my parents finding out.  Again, that didn’t work.  They told me to see a therapist, put this mask of smiles away, and try to get over it.  Something within me grew flames and I told them I would never see a therapist.  Soon…they stopped asking, but I knew their worry grew as my poems got darker.  At least one person died…one always died.  I couldn’t write anything happy, and the feelings grew worse.

Everyone hates me!  Why do they hate me so much?  I should just die…

  “Die?” Ankoku no Ha asked with great amusement.  “And how would you die?”
  I drew a blank.
  “I’m not sure,” I sighed and next thing I knew, I felt knives across my back.
  Ankoku, my dark blade, grew a wicked smile as bars fell in front of my face, and I felt pain in my arms.  Chains, rusty chains coated with my blood dug into my skin and I couldn’t move.  What I thought was my most trusted friend, stabbed me in the back and locked me away.  Ankoku wasn’t a handsome sword, he’s a monster that resided within my heart to turn it black.

No…I’m not okay…please help me, release me from my cage.

  That’s what I wanted to say to those looking at me, as I sulk on my desk.  Then they started to get accustomed to this me, this dark me.  This isn’t me!  This was never me and you ignore my hidden pleas for help.  You all suck!  I hate you all!  Leave me alone!

But I don’t want to be alone…I never want to be alone….please….I just want a hug….
Is that too much to ask for?

  Days, weeks, months, centuries maybe, no…I know this as time and only time.  So time passed and I’m still held captive until I heard a guitar.
  “My look at what you got yourself into,” a voice said.  “I mean we…we got into this mess my dear.”
  I was blinded time ago.
  “Who are you?”
  “You gave me the name, musician.  I’m the Musician, cursed to play any tune Ankoku wants me to.  But sadly, I play so much my fingers bleed.”
  “That’s so sad…”
  “It’s not so bad, maybe I’ll play a tune for you.  Will that make you feel better?”
  “It’ll make me feel less alone.”
  The Musician played, and I felt a slight smile, that will fade in a matter of seconds.

I…want to die….yet I can’t.  This world is so broken and confusing…Why?
….

  I stopped counting time, and my friends dwindled to those who I trust, which isn’t much.  I smile, but it’s all a lie, and my captivity isn’t as severe anymore.  I’ve been in this nightmare for years…

…my nightmare is depression.