“GET IN THE CAR” mom yelled, so I did, and I hadn't known exactly what to think, many and many thoughts were going through my head and I couldn't seem to grasp any of them.
We're in the car, and we're going way too fast, mom’s crying and I had no idea what to do or what to think, what was going on? Where were we going? Now I was getting scared.
The car had halted to a stop and I notice that we are at my dad’s house, I had asked my mom what we were doing there and I got no answer. It wasn't the weekend so I shouldn't had  been there. When we had went inside I seen that my brother Mark was there, so I really didn't think much about why we were there. Time had passed, then we had just wanted to play.
  We finally got done, and we were told to go inside and to sit down and wait, so here we go again and I start thinking about what's going on, but still I couldn't figure it out. It feels like we had been sitting there for a while. Then it happened.
My dad’s bedroom door opened where my mom and stepmom had been, they tell Mark and I to come in, so we went  into the room and sat down on the bed, what we hear next changes our lives  forever.We were just told that our dad had passed away, and those words hit me and they hit me hard, I went into shutdown mode, I just couldn't believe what I had just heard I didn't know what to do, I cried and then I stopped, and then I would cry some more. Everything that Mark and I had ever known just changed. How would my life be, Ill never get to drive with him, he won't be there when I go to college. It was crazy to think all of that, but I couldn't help it.
It took a while to sink in but when it did it stuck, knowing now that my brother and I would never see him again, never hear his voice again, never get to touch nor smell him ever again, it never meant much, the smell of him, but when all of its gone you notice it, I wondered a lot, do I look like him? Do I act like him? Do I have his face? A lot of things that I will never be able to figure out.  Its a hard thing to deal with,even now.
Its been a couple years and I can not tell you how hard its been having to deal with all the problems that life throws at you and knowing that he’s not there, I dont show how much I miss him when I'm around people, I just think that it would be a lot easier with him standing by my side, but its life, and you have to deal with a lot of things and  I grow to be a stronger person and and I strive to be what I know  he would approve of.