i'm having a break down, i sens it. i can't stop crying and i feel completely lost. every one around disappointed me. some of my "friends" deceived me, other ones just got away, started a new life and forgot about me. the ones that are left don't seem to understand what i'm going through. i start doubting myself. is there something wrong me? do i expect too much from others?

it's just all blurry in my head, please forgive me if my wrinting seems like a mess, but it reflects the state of my mind right now.too many questions and not enough answers. though my young age i can say that life has given me a hard time but great experiences. i know now that i shall not relate my happiness to anyone or anything. i know that i shall not relay on anyone in my life. I need to do it all by myself and move on otherwise i will only be disappointed. ifeel lonely there is no doubt about it but it is my fault and i have to admit it. to me, friendship is a really important thing that i give to a huge value. I can give my all to someone who means to me whether it is a member of my family or a firend. and i expect back the same or at least honesty. i just hate being lied to and played with. but what i hate most is to give my trust to someone who does not deserve it and realize this mistake only when it is too late.

but what can i do besides learning from my mistakes. it's too late to wish it never happened. all i can do is deal with my loneliness and use it to make myself stronger. as we say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. and never ever repeat the same mistake after all kill me once shame on you, kill me twice shame on me.