There was something that neither he nor I could describe that led to a deep attraction to one another; however, we were thirteen and fourteen and we knew nothing of the world and nothing of love. At the beginning, he and I were at odds with one another expressing our distaste in childish ways and now presently looking back on it laughing at the irony of our disposition for each other. He thought I was stuck up and pretentious while I thought he was a jerk and quite irritating, but we both knew that there was something deeper. This attraction was in our eyes and in our minds, but both of us were mute on the subject and kept to ourselves. Then one day it’s as if he disappeared and vanished into thin air, how was I supposed to know that he was out and about traveling the great big world while I was stuck to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. There were brief thoughts of him and even messages sent to reach him because although we didn’t like each other I did care for him and I didn’t realize it at the time, but I did love him. In his nature I was inevitably in love.
About three years later, three years of failed relationships and recklessness, by a strange almost uncanny occurrence I walked into his place of work, obviously the most esteemed pizza chain with a boyfriend of mine and my sister and there you were. I didn’t recognize him at first, my sister did but when we looked into each other’s eyes we knew. It was love at first sight again, although you and I were too pragmatic and disbelieving of the possibility that there was such a thing as love at first sight. Yet he was beautiful and had grown into a build that I had never seen of him. The next day we were together and every day after that completely attached at the hip. I immediately left my boyfriend at the time and dedicated myself to him. There were late nights and conversations about how we were going to make our lives work together. Love is such a beautiful thing and very difficult also. There were arguments and struggles to keep balance, but love was always a constant. There are things that you just know will happen, we knew very early on that we wanted to be married and the words “I love you” were spoken very shortly after we started dating and using titles. We knew each other and everything felt absolutely and totally in place and comfortable.
I have always felt that life foreshadows itself and has random occurrences, but this time life foreshadowed itself in the most eerie of ways. The day after we met again, we were together for the first time and as you were driving me home it started to snow. The speed we were going was questionable so I asked him “Slow down speed demon you are going to get us in an accident.” Flash forward two months, he and I were hanging out, getting ready to go to a basketball game at the high school. Honestly we could have cared less for sports, but if it meant we could be together for a little longer, then so be it. As we were driving to the game we were in a state of bliss, listening to “Try” by P!nk and not a care in the world. Then I saw it, I saw the moment that changed everything. An intersection that the other driver thought was an intersection wasn’t and as he pulled out in front of us I looked at him. In that moment I thought about how much I loved him and how if this was our last breathe I was happy next to him. We smashed head first into the red van with the middle aged man who wasn’t paying attention. All I heard was a thud and then blackness. When I woke up after our car had skidded 60 feet and the other man rolled his. Jake was still 6 “2 with a bleeding nose and I was still 4” 11 with a broken foot. A part of us died in that car and it's recovery was not attainable. Love was always a constant but our dynamics had changed, change had come and eventually we moved on. In this moment there is no happy ending, but it’s not the ending and in the end there will be happiness for the both of us.

P.S. I still can’t listen to P!nk without tears in my eyes.