Have you ever done something really dumb that ruined something good? Have you ever screwed up a friendship or potential relationship? I did. It only took one night to ruined many lives. It only took one night to ruined friendships and relationships. One night that’s all it takes to screw up everything. That night I want to get out of my head but every time I look at him or think of him I think of that night. It doesn't help that other people keep bringing it up. Why do they care? Was it funny? Do I want them in my business? Do they know the outcome of it? Some people do others don’t and I rather have no one know. Going to a small school can suck when it comes to gossip everyone knows who you are and you can be labeled for the rest of your life. That label never leaves you even if you try changing things. I feel like s*** and I can’t sleep or eat I want to talk to him, but he won’t give me the time of day. He is a great guy and I thought that I really liked him, but he saw a side of me that he doesn't ever want to see again. I replay that night in my head more than I should, but it just won’t leave. My friends and I decided to have some drinks that night; we just wanted to get drunk before an event just to make the event better. I was fine with that I enjoy drinking and having a fun time, but sometimes fun times can turn bad real quick. So naturally I was falling over people and being loud and funny, most people can handle that and they think it’s funny. I was having a great time then I started talking about him, I wanted to call him, but most people don’t like when people who are drunk call them. One of my friends takes my phone and calls him, no answer. I didn't care the first time so I’m still there having a fun time. Before you know it I’m calling him again, no answer. I didn't care if he picked up or not I don’t even know why I was calling him. I called him 9 times that night and he didn't pick up at all. I guess I left him voice mails, but I don’t remember doing it and I don’t remember what I said. Then I went looking for him, I was wandering around campus looking for him. Why was I doing that? I have no idea so at this point he probably thinks I’m crazy and never want to talk to me. That wasn't the only thing I did that night. I had this guy friend come in my room with me and I started kissing him. Why did I start kissing him? Clearly he didn't want to kiss me and just made things awkward. I have no idea why it was really stupid. That night I was just a stupid drunk girl. I made two guys and probably more guys feel very uncomfortable. I don’t really care about the other guys but just him. I feel like I hurt him and that’s something I don’t want to do. He won’t even look at me and I don’t know when we will talk again, if he ever wants to talk to me. I guess I didn't do anything to bad it could have been worse, but the fact that I feel horrible and s***ty doesn't make this any better. I just hope he knows I’m sorry and that I want to be friends and just start all over. Maybe one day I can get my s*** together.