For the longest time, I was lost. Sometimes, I found myself trapped in dead ends, cornered by fiery demons. It took years for me to figure out how to dig a hole out.

I have always been a troubled child. I wasn’t potty trained until I was four, and I didn’t know how to communicate. By fifth grade, I was taking medicine and visiting shrinks. Bullying had become a major issue.

In eighth grade, I learned about cutting and self-harm in a movie. The idea seemed fascinating, and I wanted to try it. Little did I know that that became the largest mistake in my life.

My cuts soon became more frequent and deeper. I found myself picking scabs at school, and trying to explain myself to the school nurse. Soon guidance found it necessary that I needed to be hospitalized.

Even after I continued to harm myself, I overdosed when life hit rock bottom. Nothing helped, and in the end, I had been through five meds, four shrinks, and three hospital visits. I knew that nothing could help me, and I would always be that emo girl.

Near the end of ninth grade, I gave up. I was usually an A student, but Bs became the norm. My psychologist had told me that I couldn’t be controlled. My friends had become tired of my frequent breakdowns. I considered finally killing myself.

One arduous evening, my mother thought of something brilliant, and an appointment was set up for next Friday. The anticipation was grueling, but yet exciting. I was about to explore a new realm of medicine.

Soon enough, I found myself face down in a dark quiet room. Gentle music was playing and incense was burning. I began to feel very sleepy and relaxed. Before I knew it, gentle hands began inserting needles, and I felt a rush of emotions. Soon enough, I was crying and my burdens were lifted. Everything would be better now.

My awesome acupuncturist introduced me to qigong, and took me to this amazing seminar. I met many wonderful people and experienced amazing things. Meditation had become my calling. The facilitator was impressed at my age and offered me a scholarship for the instructor training. I wanted to teach this beautiful meditation to others in need.

Today, I am a level three qigong instructor, and I aspire to introduce the healing practice to my community. Ever since I have started meditating, I don’t wake up thinking of ways to harm myself. I think of the amazing things I can do to make others smile. After all, life is too precious to be spent suffering.