“Look, I know this is your first state meet and everything, but don’t be nervous. You’ve worked all season for this. Just pretend its just you and lane 6 at the practice pool. You’re used to it.” My head coach Tim told the eleven year old girl standing wide-eyed in front of him. Peering my head into the door to the pool, Tim motioned me to follow him toward our team area. Sheepishly shuffling into the pool area, I saw the tall stands being filled by parents in their kids swim club t shirts. I glanced over to my left and saw the crystal clear pool; perfect in every single way. The lane lines perfectly tightened, the touch pads perfectly in place, and the water looked like a mirror; so perfectly smooth it seemed as though you could walk on it.

Warm ups were about to start. I saw the older girls hanging out at the end of the lane in their cute practice suits and national team caps, laughing with all the cute older boys. Being eleven, there was nothing I more than to be just like them. They were some of the fastest fifteen and sixteen year olds in the midwest. I envied them with everything I had. Something about those girls made everyone envy them. They had the mindset of an olympian. Whatever they wanted they could get; iif they put their minds to it. Some people even called these girls losers because they didn’t have a life outside of swimming. It blew a lot of minds that pretty girls in their teens could give up their whole social life for a sport. I thought it was amazing.

“Carly go change, warm ups are about to start. Big day ahead of you.” Coach Ben was my other coach. He was like a big brother to me. The fact that he looked more like a sixteen year old rather than a twenty-six year old made it so easy to not obey him. After warm ups, I scurried to my towel and let it engulf my tiny body. In just a couple of hours, I would be climbing up behind that white starting block, my heart would be pounding and I would just be anxiously anticipating the official say take your mark, and press the buzzer. Just thinking about the short, high pitch sound of the buzzer makes me get an adrenaline rush.

“You nervous?” I peered up from watching shoeless feet run across the pool deck, to see Ben standing there holding his red clipboard with heatsheets and dangling a pen from his mouth. In a shaky voice I managed to get out, “Yeah. I’m always nervous, but this is a lot worse than usual.” Ben could pick out all my nervous habits; from the way I wouldn’t talk, how I would rapidly shake my leg, how I would snap my fingers constantly, and the way I would chew on my goggle straps like they were food.

“Its alright, just relax. I’m going to send you up to your lane in about 15 so get ready.” He patted the back of my sweatshirt and was off to watch another race. Closing my eyes, I imagined myself getting up on the blocks and swimming the most perfect race. Often, people say that if you can imagine it, you’ll swim it better. Everything about it was perfect; from the way I was the first off the blocks, to being the first to touch the pad.

“Carly lets go.” a manly voice shouted at me, abruptly waking me from daydream. I bent over and stretched my legs, slowly I came up and reached my arms up to the ceiling, letting out a slight yawn like a dog just waking up from a nap.

“Alright its just 50 yards of breastroke. You’ve done this a million times theres nothing to be worried about. If you want to get the zone time, you’re really going to have to move. Put everything you got into this race. Lane 2 heat 10.” Ben looked sternly into my eyes, the first time I’ve ever really seen him take something so serious.

“Okay.” I nodded in agreement and headed my way up to the blocks. It seemed like an eternity before my heat was up.

Snapping my fingers I anxiously waited for the official to say... “Swimmers, take your mark... BEEP.” The buzzer sounded and I swear I’ve never gotten off a block faster. Boom. I glided into the water with ease, feeling the refreshing chlorinated water on my skin. Coming up from my underwater pull out, I made clear of nothing but the water rushing by my ears, like white noise was taking over my body. The wall approached and I reached with everything my lanky body had. For a split second, I could make out my friends shrieking in my ear demanding me to, “GO!” nothing in the world could make me more ecstatic than that. The second length is always so hard in a 50. Feeling my legs give out, I only kicked harder. I knew I would have to really be moving to get that zone time. I was at the flags, moving faster than a cheetah (or what seemed like it in a eleven year olds eyes). Aggressively touching the wall, I brought my head up to the timeboard; 34.69. One tenth away from a zone time. Feelings of disappointment filled my body. I managed to bring my eyes to Tim who of course is the “dad” like figure, he had his thumbs up and smiling widely. While on the other hand, Ben was more “realistic”, he shrugged his broad swimmer shoulders and shaked his head in a “don't worry about it” manner. Ever since, I’ve remembered how much a tenth, even a hundredth, of a second can matter in swimming.

Talking was always the hardest thing to do after a bad race, “I missed the zone time by a tenth. That sucks so much.”

“Its okay Carly, you can get it next time. I know you worked so hard for this but maybe it just wasn’t the right time. Nobody is disappointed in you. Go cool down, then take a long shower and we can talk later.” I nodded and mosied my way down to the cool down pool. Plunging in, the water felt a whole lot warmer than it did in the competition pool. There in that cool down pool, I came to the realization of how much swimming matters to me. Ever since that race in Rochester Minnesota, I’ve worked my butt off to be better. Being much older and wiser, I know how much the little things count, like going to practice everyday, listening to your coaches, and being strong enough to push through some of the hardest practices where you feel like you’re going to die.

A sport has never changed my life so much. I’ve never felt such peace in a crowded pool area filled with hundreds of kids in nothing but tight swimsuits and clammy bodys. When I swim it makes me feel like I’m actually making myself a better human being. I remember when I was eleven and I saw those teenage girls practicing with older boys, going to six AM practice in the summer, going through extreme amounts of pain to be better, missing parties because they had meets the next day or even practice. I wanted to be just like them. Four years later I am one of those girls. One of the reasons why that meet was so important to me was because I realized what I wanted to be when I was in my teenage years. I learned to push through things and work to be better because I know that there are wide-eyed little girls holding their coach’s hand, gazing at my friends and I at swim meets who strive to be just like us... and four years ago, that little girl was me.