To you, dear reader:

The idea of keeping who you are and who you are attracted to a secret might seem easy, like no big deal to you, and I can understand why you would think that, but you are speaking about a place you have not been, and it might be a good idea to step back and learn a bit more about it. My sexuality is not really something I want to talk about but I can tell you this much: the months I've spent in the closet have been, in many ways, the worst months of my life.

You haven't been in the closet, so you can't understand how bad it is (and that isn't your fault), but I will try and explain it to you.

The closet is loneliness; there isn't any way around it. Most of the time you feel like it's you against the world, because it basically is.

The closet is a sheet of milky glass between you and everyone you talk to; clear enough so that you can see them and they can see you, but just cloudy enough so that they can't really see you for who you are and you can't really reach out to them as much as you wish you could.

The closet is emotional exhaustion, having to constantly maintain a facade.

The closet is fear; fear of the unknown, fear of rejection.

The closet is feeling alienated and disconnected from your best friends because you feel like they don't really know you anymore.

The closet is worrying that your own parents will not be able to ever fully understand or accept you.

The closet is feeling like you are lying to everyone you love.

The closet is the feeling that you are deceitful and dishonest.

The closet is always, always, always being scared.

The closet is having to smile when you're in so much pain, having to laugh when someone makes a joke that hurts.

The closet is too small, no wiggle room.

The closet is the feeling that you are choking, gasping for air.

The closet is a heavy sensation on your chest, a muted sense of panic that never really goes away.

The closet is solitude.

The closet is despair.

The closet is not a place anyone should have to live.

So while you might think that someone keeping their gayness inside might help maintain the "order of the world", the disorder inside that person will be terrible. Everyone in this world has the right to be who they are and express that without fear or restraint. Everyone should be allowed the happiness and freedom that comes from being who you are unapologetically. Denying someone that privilege is not within anyone's rights. And as hard as it is to be non-heterosexual in today's world, forcing someone to keep their true self inside will cause that person so much more unnecessary pain. Because you haven't experienced this, and I have, you'll have to take my word for it.

Practicing compassion can make a lot of difference. Before you ask someone to do something like keep themselves locked in a closet, first consider how dark it is in there.

Sincerely, someone who's propped her door open a little bit, letting a sliver of light in.