When I was little I imagined all Christians to be kind, loving and accepting. My mom is a very relaxed and loving Christian and so is my dad. I thought they were all like them. I was naive then I believed most people were kind and loving because that’s how I was raised. The people I met in middle school shattered that belief. It was more like a fantasy than a reality.

Seventh grade a month and a half into school I transferred into another school. I went to an alternative school before that I went to a Christian school. The day I went to visit for the first time everyone was so sweet. They welcomed my awkward self without hesitation. They were welcoming the first and the second day also. It wasn’t until I opened my mouth and spoke my opposing views that they began to shun me. I became the weird girl there. I became an ‘ungodly heathen’ to them.

Being bullied was a daily occurrence for me. I got bullied for my awkwardness and crocked teeth. The girls were the worst. They would shun me for not believing in their god and for my rebellious nature yet they would rebel themselves. They made me feel ugly and an outsider. They commented on my hair, my teeth and my weight. Everything they found I did wrong they criticized. Falling for someone was a nightmare there. I got teased all the time about who I liked. Whenever I tried to stand up for myself, they would run to the principle and they would play the victim.

The administration wasn’t any better. They would believe the girls’ lies about even when they had obvious contradictions. My principle would never believe me when I tried to tell the truth. One time my mom had to bring my cellphone in to prove I was innocent. The principle had to look through my texts just to see I didn’t do what the girls said I did. The first time I got falsely accused it was one quite gloomy morning I had barely gotten to school on time. He called me into his office and it was only the two of us. He started to accuse me of something I didn’t do. His voice was sharp and loud. I confessed because I thought he was yelling at me for something I actually did wrong. I was terrified in that room alone with him. The bleak white walls and ugly carpet made it feel more like an interrogation. I broke out in tears at one point it was so bad. I remember after crying in the nurse’s office heading to English and feeling absolutely miserable. That memory will always stay in my head.

Their preaching wasn’t very loving. We would watch videos in bible which preached that gays should go to hell and they would openly mock science. One of the televangelist was downright hateful. My civics teacher which was also my world history teacher had us write an essay on why abortion is wrong in a civics class. I remember one class called ‘How to Be a Godly Woman’ which was pretty judgmental and I felt I was in a time when women were only supposed to serve their husband and god. We had a ‘fashion’ show once which consisted of judging others on how modesty they were. The class tried to teach modesty, manners, abstinence all in one with a pinch of bigotry. The class would preach individuality but it would completely contradict itself. It didn’t want you to be yourself. It wanted you to fit into their mold.

This school hurt my self-esteem and my pride. It was a very rude awakening. I wasn’t naive anymore after those two years of middle school.