So many questions haunted me on a daily basis. Nagging at my brain, begging for attention until I finally gave in. Out of the five of us, why me? Why was I the only one who could not be cared for? Being adopted has changed my life in ways I could never imagine, and in my case it is a lot more complicated then meets the eye. I could not accept the fact that the people who sat before me telling me to call them "mom" and "dad" were my parents. We shared no similarities in appearance, as well as personality and we just could not understand each other.

My adoption was an open adoption which meant that it was required by law that I was to send my birth/biological mother four pictures of me per year and spend at minimum one visit with her until I turned 18 years old. This was confusing for a young child, I did not know who was real to me and who wasn't. Who were my true parents? It was very frustrating for me to separate the truth from the lies that I was constantly being told, and It was not till I grew older that I realized who my true parents really were. People say "blood is thicker than water", which in many aspects is true but in my circumstance it was not the only answer.

I was the second youngest out of five other brothers and sisters. Out of all of them I was the only one given up for adoption. I felt angry, betrayed, and insignificant next to the rest of them. How could they give me up and then have another child after me and take care of him? It just did not make sense to me at the time. I have come to peace with all of this now, and am just so grateful to my birthmother for giving me life.

I was in a very abusive situation in my new home with my adopted mom, who told me daily how she hated herself for adopting a child like me. If not for the love shown to me by my adopted father I do not know where I would be. My father was such an answer to prayer. He is my best friend, my comfort and my support through all my trials. This is exactly what a parent should be to their child and although I am not his own by blood this never even seemed to cross his mind. No matter what blood tests would show I am his daughter and there is nothing anyone could do or say to diminish his love for me.

Now I can sincerely say that I am blessed to have been put up for adoption. I have no idea what kind of a person I would be today, or the extent of poverty I would have grown up in. Although my adoption wasnt ideal, and although we have had many rough spots along the way, I would nt trade my cirumstance now for anyone elses. I am overwhelmed with all the love my father has to give,and I can only hope and pray that my brothers and sisters are experiencing the same.