1. Forget the sound of her laughter. Forget the way her lips twitch up into a smirk when you whisper a joke under your breath. Forget how happy she looks to see you every day. Forget how adorably rumpled her hair is first thing in the morning. Forget the feeling of her arms wrapped around you. Drive her from your mind with all the force you can muster. Forget.

2. Make up a list of fake flaws that she does not have. Pretend she has bad breath. Pretend she has horrible taste in music. Pretend she makes fun of you when you aren’t there. Pretend she is rude to her mother. Pretend she is an awful driver. Pretend she forgot your birthday. Pretend that any of that could ever matter to you.

3. Leave reminders all over your house in the form of post it notes that say things like ‘she is straight’. And ‘you are so far in the closet that Mr. Tumnus had invited you over for tea three times this week alone’. And ‘you are not worthy to wipe the dirt from her boots’. And ‘she still wouldn’t love you if you were the last two people on earth’. And ‘she deserves so much better’.

4. Before you met her you were convinced that no one could ever love you. Go back to that mindset. Forget that she fixed you, that she saved you, that she made you believe in love for the first time in your life. Forget that she showed you that humanity is not as broken as you thought it was. Forget that she showed you that you are not as broken as you thought you were. Re break yourself into even more pieces so she doesn’t have to. If she has to break your heart she will feel guilty for the rest of her life, so beat her to it. Repeat after me: no one could ever love someone like you.

5. Take your heart off your sleeve and put it back in your chest where it belongs. No one finds your neediness attractive. Your obvious longing will not make her any more likely to love you. Laying your heart at her feet is not going to make her want you, it is going to get your heart ground into the pavement when she fails to notice it in time. Your transparent affections are not getting you anywhere. Spare her the second hand embarrassment and shove your feelings for her back in the dark where they belong.

6. Every day think of a new reason why you don’t deserve her. Write them all down and stick them on your bathroom mirror. Soon enough, your mirror will be covered in things like ‘you look ugly when you cry’. And ‘there’s a reason your father left’. And ‘your anxiety is a burden to everyone around you’. And ‘your therapist said you have trust issues’. And ‘your mother says that being around you is exhausting’. Soon enough, when you look in the mirror you will see what she sees every time she looks at you.

7. Think of everyone you’ve ever hurt. Whisper their names under your breath every time she walks in the room. Think of the way their faces crumbled like sandcastles. Think of the disappointment in their eyes. Think of their shaking hands and their trembling voices. Think of every single tear you’ve ever caused. Write their names on the palms of your hands so you’re reminded of what you’ve done every time you touch her. It will make you want to save her before she because just another name that keeps you up at night.

8. Stop imagining your future together. Forget that she is the first person that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with. Remind yourself over and over again that she told you that she wants a husband and children. That one day she wants to gets married and settle down. You can give her none of those things. You are the exact opposite of everything she wants. How dare you be so selfish. How dare you try to take away her happy ending.

9. Imagine the future she is going to have with someone else. Imagine her getting everything shes ever dreamed of. You cannot make her happy, but a man shes never met before can. If you keep loving her, she is going to get hurt. She will become an accidental notch in your bed post. You will push her away when you get scared by your own feelings. Your therapist said you have trust issues. Think of all the people you’ve hurt. You leave a trail of destruction everywhere you go, you have body bags beneath your eyes, and she is going to get hurt. If you ever loved her at all, let her go. She isn’t going to come back, she didn’t know you where trying to hold her in the first place. You will never get over her, but she will be happy. She is all that has ever mattered. Let her go.