The One I Loved Back Then



The electric razor leaves a buzzing sound in her ears even after it’s been shut off. ‘Pa, Pa sing it again, please!’ she loves the sound of his old cracking voice as he sings to her. In a low, deep voice he starts again, ‘oh, she was hotter than a two dollar pistol she was the fastest thing around.’ The little girl still in her non matching pajamas has no idea what this song means but, she loves it and knows every word.


Grandma hollers for them to come in the kitchen for pancakes. ‘Maple syrup and butter please’ she asks. Grandma always has Pa’s plate ready to go. Almost 50 years of being married, she knows his breakfast order like the back of her hand. The little girl’s favorite thing about the weekend is getting to stay with her Great Grandparents. She has everything she needs there. It’s Saturday and Pa is headed off on a pallet run, and Grandma is going to clean the church to get it ready for Sunday morning. The little girl has the biggest decision to make in her worry free life right now, who to go with? She decides to go with her Pa. By now he is dressed in his everyday attire overalls and a plaid shirt. He tells her that she better hurry before he leaves her. The little girl only eats half her pancakes before she runs to her back bedroom. Pa already has his big blue truck running by the time she gets out of the front door.


The excited little girl hops in the front so ready to go she forgets to put on her seat belt. As the two get going down the dusty dirt road she remembers because she is bouncing around so much. The little girl looks up at her Great Grandpa. Her mother always says ‘I know you’re young and you won’t think about it now but, you are so lucky to get to spend time with and have Great Grandparents.’ It was stuck in the back of her head. She looked at every part of his face, big gray bushy eye brows, thin lips, and the scar on his nose where he had skin cancer removed. The word cancer gets said a lot in her weekend getaway house. She never thought much about it though.


Finally, they reach the tall building she knows the name to only because Pa has taught it to her, ‘Blair Feeds.’ ‘Hold on a minute baby, Pa will be right back.’ He said to her. The little girl lay down on the ripped blue leather seats. She shut her eyes; day dreaming is what she always did. She dreamed of a love as strong as her Grandma and Pa’s. A love that never had fighting, yelling or slamming doors. When a promise is made is kept; never go to sleep mad. Her day dreaming is quickly disturbed by the loud banging coming from behind her. She knows what it is, her Pa loading his pallets. She got up onto her knees watching him through the back window. She always wanted to drive a fork lift she thought it would be the coolest thing.




Pa hops back into the front seat of the old rusted out pick-up truck. ‘Need cigarette’s sis?’ he jokes. ‘Yeah!’ the little girl says with excitement. The two head to the Dollar Store for some ‘cigarettes’ and something to sip on for the ride back home. Once again the little girl falls asleep curled up next to her Pa, her head on his lap and his arm around her back. In the beginning she only acts asleep so she can listen to him sing. That corvette song he always sang, over and over.

That little girl now a teenager thinks of these times almost every day. Now that the scary cancer word took the greatest man she knew away from her and her family. Her Grandma now only has one breakfast order to fill; her own. The smell of his strong Old Spice cologne still fills the bathroom, only because now and again her and Grandma will spray it and reminisce. The plaid shirts and faded overalls hang in the bedroom closet waiting to be filled again. And the song he sang will always be playing in our hearts.