Sometimes moving on can be the hardest thing. It is easy to dwell on the good times in the past than to let go and see what lies ahead. I realized this the day I had to tell my swim coach that it was going to be my last season of swimming. I felt that in that moment, every vacation spent with teammates, late night practices and early morning workouts, every trophy and state time, everyday spent with all of my best friends, all of these things came rushing to me at once. I knew I was ready to start a different chapter in my life. It was like I was letting go of everything that have ever meant anything to me. How would I leave all of these people that I loved so much?

I had been pondering this decision for many a nights. These people were like family and I didn't want any of that to change. I knew I was done with swimming as a sport, it just wasn't for me anymore. I loved seeing my best friends everyday but I dreaded practices and meets. I knew I couldn't keep making myself miserable, but I wasn't sure if it was worth leaving these people that I would miss so much. We all loved each other and I wasn't sure of what I would do without them. There were so many of us, some my age and some older and younger. I would often forget about all of our age differences because it seemed we were just alike. I had learned so much from each one of them and we all had a special relationship. There was never any drama or anything, we all just loved each other and loved spending time together. I had been on this team for so long. I remember when our old coach left and we did not know if things could ever be the same. As it turns out, the new coach, Cary, ended up being a very important figure in my life. I knew that I did not want to swim any longer, but my biggest fear was that I would lose touch with everyone. I didn't want anything to change, yet I knew it had to.

My plan was to finish off the last few months and stop at the end of the season. No matter what, I would not let myself just quit in the middle. I was so sure of what I wanted, yet, so unsure if I could bring myself to move forward with my decision. I will never forget the day I decided to tell my coach the news. I remember we had just been in the workout room where we did our meditations. I remember that we all thought it was the funniest thing. He would make us all lay down on yoga mats and close our eyes. He would tell random meditation stories and make us imagine that we are in the pool swimming. We would imagine that we swam so perfectly and did our absolute best and fastest time. He said that picturing it in your head was like telling yourself that you can do it. I was going to miss little things like that. I guess I seemed down because I remember him asking me if I was alright. He knew me well enough to know I had something on my mind. I told him I wanted to talk when he could get a chance. I coukd never forget what it was he said next. "I think I now what it's about," and I knew that he did. Something about him saying this made me feel a little better yet at the same time a little worse. It was reassuring to know that he as well could see that my heart was no longer in it, though, it broke my heart to tell him.

I remember going up to his office and sitting down across from him at his desk. Right as I began to talk, I could feel my eyes watering. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in. I just kept talking and I could feel tears flooding down my face. He didn't say much and I still today have no recollection of anything that I said. Words just came out and it didn't even matter because I knew he already understood. He was pretty quite the entire time. It was after this that I had to learn a lot about moving on and letting go. It is so easy to hold onto things when we remember how good they were in the past. I knew that things had changed and that I no long loved what I was doing. I was taught an important lesson that year. It was that we must cherish everything good that has happened in the past. Cherish them and smile at them, but don't let them hold you back. I have experienced so many things since that day that I know I would not have experienced had I not learned to let go. I still think about those memories every once and a while and they still make me smile. I can smile knowing that I will be creating memories equalling if not more beautiful and memorable than those. It is often hard to remember that things do get better in time. I learned that you must cherish your reality because one day you may miss even the little things that you once took for granted.

Now, three years later, Coach Cary has two beautiful little boys. He stopped coaching about a year ago because he found a job that was financially better for his family. Many of my teammates have gone of to college, some have started high school, and some I still see around every once in a while. Every time I see one of them, we always end up talking and catching up for quite a while. We still try to keep in touch, even though that can be so tough. I know that we will always hold a special place in each others heart. The memory of those years will always mean so much to me and I will always remember the impact that each one of them made on me. People don't just come in your life for no reason. Each one of them was meant to teach you something, each one meant to make you the person you are to become. I try to keep making memories that I will one day cherish as much as those. Even though my teammates and I may be far away, I will always be grateful that their paths crossed mine.