i just cant do it anymore. I cant take the lies. its killing me. I don't know how much longer I'm going to last. I don't care if they get mad, cant they give me one ounce of happiness and just let me live my life the way I want to, or rather end it, I should say. I don't want to be in this life anymore. They think they know whats going on with me, and why I'm upset, but they don't. My parents think they know me so well, when they only see what i want them to see. I'm forced to join a sport I absolutely cant stand and if I make one bad comment on it, I get my a** chewed out for it. Saying how lazy I am, that I just don't want to give it a try. When I'm trying my hardest, to keep them happy. i try my hardest not to fall apart when someone says something insulting. I tell people that I don't care about what they say about me, when honestly my insecurities could eat me alive. All I want is to fall asleep and not wake up. But then everybody would be mad, not because I'm dead, but because they don't have anyone to torment anymore. I just don't know what to do. I cant go on living this way. I'm being tortured. I tried to change but I just cant. I cant do anything right. In every one's eyes, I'm just a disappointment, an embarrassment. Everyone asks me why I put myself down, maybe because of the things I get told every single day of my life. People may not realize what their saying actually does hurt. Its tearing me apart. I just cant go on anymore...