Straddling the Fence-Why Your Grass is Greener | Teen Ink

Straddling the Fence-Why Your Grass is Greener

November 21, 2012
By AliceHunoral BRONZE, Dix Hills, New York
AliceHunoral BRONZE, Dix Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Take a sad song and make it better, remember to let her into your heart, then you can start, to make it better." John Lennon


High school often seems like a separation of two sides. The side that "belongs" and the side full of "outcasts". The people that "belong" or are popular are looked to as the elite, desirable and even looked to for direction. The "outcasts" are people who are average in everything they do and in most cases below average.

The typical stereotypes of the popular people are the jocks, class presidents, and the beauty queens. The typical stereotypes of the outcasts are nerds, goths, and socially awkward kids.

But what if you don't fit into these two? What if you're a normie?

Normie: A person who is neither shunned by the popular kids but isn't among the social rejects.

If you're a normie you straddle the fence between the perceived dead yellow lawn and the vibrant green lawn.

If you are an individual in school that is coveting being popular, please stop. As the title says, the grass is greener on your side.

How would I know? Since 7th grade, I did a social experiment if you will, to see if I could fool everyone. And guess what? It worked. I said all the exact things, wore the right clothes, laughed the right way, and never, ever, spoke to someone outside of my social circle. All this work got me invited to the right parties, made me feel better about myself, and landed me the stereotypical popular kid position:class president.

The truth is, it was exhausting. It wasn't even the presidental job that was tiresome, it was the job of being someone you're not. Having to fake everything made me deny the true person I was and made my confidence lower. I admit it , I am guilty of putting others down. I was also surrounded by many people doing the same thing, faking.

This is what I want you to understand. Most of the "popular people" are not happy. That is why they are so beautiful yet so mean. That is why they bully and scheme and tease and have vicious backstabbing "friends". They are all playing a part, acting, to hide the truth.

"It doesn't matter what I'm feeling inside, as long as people think I'm *insert desirable trait*, then that means I'm worth something, that means I matter",is an unspoken thought.

I used to love reading, writing and art. I gave up all of that for sports, the most popular sports, sports I wasn't good at and was always a bench-warmer for. It didn't matter because I was accepted among my peers for how much I was like them. When people don't value your uniqueness, you begin to forget your true qualities, you begin to believe that if you a different, in a certain way, that you are unlovable.

After many, many, attempts to remain at the top, I was exhausted and at an all time low emotionally and confidence-wise. Then after many, many epiphanies, and a blessing in the form of a move, I had the chance to start all over. I could be anything I wanted, nobody in my new town knew who I was.

It wasn't easy, I was homesick, didn't want to start rebuilding years of social status again, I missed being at the top of the high school food chain.

Then the final epiphany shook me, I didn't have to be anybody. After a year of being myself (due to lack of social activity and trying to keep up appearances) and doing things I loved, I was comfortable in my own skin. I was able to see that I am who I am and who I am is pretty awesome.

I didn't need to cater to other people or depend on their perceptions of myself. I knew who I was, not exactly, but enough that I didn't need someone else's words to define me.

And let me tell you, it is better. Waking up every morning surrounded by true friends, the people who like you do because of who you truly are as a person, is a much greener turf.


The author's comments:
Hopefully this inspires one person to be brave, be bold, be yourself. You are worthy and lovable.

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