Dear Man I Love,
I have always been better at writing than speaking. So I am going to put on paper what I could not put into words. You don't love me, or at least not how I need to be loved. Last night I cried on the drive home. How could I not? You broke your promise. You said you would never hurt me, but you did. I don't know why I expected any different. I finally got my kiss in the rain. My real fast goodbye, rush to my car, hearing you complain, kiss in the rain. Why couldn't you hold me in your arms? Why couldn't you at least make it seem like you wanted me to stay? Why couldn't you kiss me like you never wanted to stop? But I guess I got all you could stand to give me. No love, just habit. I want to feel wanted. What do I need to do to get some tenderness? Beg? Plead? Cry? But then it would only be because you felt bad. Am I that repulsive? Do I not attract you anymore? Do you even feel anything when you look at me? I looked in the mirror before I saw you yesterday, and I felt beautiful. I looked again when I got home, and all I could see was my flaws. You say you love me but you don't. I need to feel loved and wanted. Instead I feel like someone just there to pass the time. I'm on the edge. I don't know how long until I snap. I can't keep coming home with bitter disappointment welling up inside me. I should have ended this a long time ago; you and me. But I can't stand to see you hurt. Once I had rather lived with bitter heartache day after day than hurt you. But I need love and warmth and tender touches; I need to be loved how I deserve to be loved. Please understand I have to do this. I love you with all my heart, but love can't be one-sided.
Sincerely,
The Girl You Lost