My heart beats in a pattern like once in my lifetime before

this new start filled with wonder and im myself like i havent been for a while and so much more

without him i thought my world would go on turning but then i close my eyes and god speaks to me in a dream

....

and he says

"kaity dont cry he will hold your hand like i do,life is a journey my child and jesus is meant to cut the ties that bind you. pick your head up and smile once more now listen carefully...do you hear it, he is comming back for you dont be afraid to open the door".

so i wait, following the carefully built path in my mind,

tonight i will talk to myself and in my mind he will talk back and whisper beside me "i love you".

when i count out the stars as i once did with my love, i realize there arent enough words nor enough stars to tell him what im thinking of.

you could crush me, anyone could crush me, easily broken but only one can repair the emptiness i spare and i assure you, you dont want any.

when everything is done he will take me to a place and my scars will fade deep into my body where his name will be replaced.

ive always thought no matter how bad things got i was super lucky, and there will come a day where all the time he will kiss and hug me.

and ill be done waiting <3