I sat in my desk in the far back of the classroom. The teacher kept explaining something, but the words were so faded and far away that couldn't decipher them.

My mind was lost in the memories before all hell broke loose upon me hours before. I knew if I cried a loud, I would be heard. If I was heard, then no one would leave me alone. I wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to let it out, but couldn't’ much as I wanted to.

I felt my eyes starting to water and fill up. I knew they’d pour out soon. I knew they would, but I let them fall. I needed them to ruin my make up I took hours to do. I needed them to burn my cheeks. I needed them to let me know it’ll be okay. I needed them to fall and make it down my chin.

I felt my voice trying to escape as the tears fell. I knew couldn't cry out, so I bit down on my fist. I bit down hard as could until blood dripped down. I didn’t feel the pain so how badly I wanted to cry so much worse. I wanted to scream so loud and hard. I bit down harder on my fist until bled so much.

No one noticed or seemed to want to ask. So I held my self in place in my little place and let it out my own way as the tears told me, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”