If I have learned anything after moving into this foreign excursion my mother tells me is now home, it is that doors can tell you secrets. No, I am not insane, and they do not talk to me. But they speak silent words by the way people move them and how they are positioned. You must watch and listen closely, but in time you will understand their language too.

For instance, my mother and step fathers door. It slams. It slams so hard and so fast, you’d swear a bomb has gone off below you. If the slam comes after a scream, or drunken rant then the storm is over. Either my mom or Will has already been sick with word vomit, and has now secluded them selves in their bedroom, the slam is just a simple way of making an exaggerated exit. Take a sigh of relief if this is the order of fire, for the battle is over and you will actually sleep tonight. Now if you hear the door slam, the bomb goes off and shakes your world, and this shudder is followed by screams, your in for it. They are now containing them selves in their bedroom together, to fight it out, likely all night long. Screams, cries, breaking photo frames, and angry threats will flood your bedroom tonight, so don’t even try to fall asleep, because you will surely drown.

If a door is wide open, the people inside are likely happy, and in a good mood. If the door is shut the people are likely naked, naked together ( hopefully you catch my drift), or shutting them selves out from the world crying, soaking in the self pity they call their lives. If a door is half open, half closed then beware, and back away slowly. The person inside is likely pissed, depressed, or pmsing and just waiting for someone to open that door and serve as a target while they shoot away their pain at you.

Yes, I’ve learned a lot about doors. I’ve learned that when you make your doing something you shouldn’t be you always lock them, but close them slowly and casually so that you don’t catch anyone’s attention. I’ve learned that when your crying, not out of self pity, but real genuine, moping. painful tears, you lock the door, and the closet door so no one see’s your weakness. But most of all I’ve learned that If your door is always shut, it will stop mattering how you close it. Your family will slowly forget your locked up there in the first place and you can be left alone for good. Yes I’ve learned a lot about doors, perhaps too much.