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The Milkshake
It was one of the best milkshakes I ever had. The perfect ratio of ice cream to
roduced a thick and creamy consistency that cascaded over my palate, leaving
me with a lust for more.
I was driving home from the diner when I saw flashing lights in the distance –
blue and red flashing lights. As I approached, I noticed multiple police cars and
several figures; one walked along the white line on the side of the road while others
watched. It was a drunk driving checkpoint.
An officer stepped into my lane and signaled me to a halt. As I pulled up,
dread overtook my body. I knew what was coming: “Have you had anything to drink
tonight?’ How would I respond? Obviously, he meant: “Have you had any alcoholic
beverages tonight?” Common sense told me to just say no and move on. But he was
an officer of the law; I couldn’t lie to him. As I rolled down the window, the choice
grew more difficult. “And how are you tonight?” asked the officer. I paused, fearing
the dreaded question.
“G?g?good. I’m doing good.” My inner grammar?nazi rebuked me. He cut to
the chase, lowering his eyeglasses like David Caruso.
“Have you had anything to drink tonight?” Do I say no and lie? Or do I give
the honest answer, knowing perfectly well I will come off as a disrespectful smart
aleck. I was torn. Why did I have to drink that milkshake? “Kid, it’s a simple
question. Yes or no.”
“Yes,” I blurted out. He was takengrew more difficult. “And how are you tonight?” asked the officer. I
“Oh really? What did you have?” “A chocolate milkshake.”
“You had a chocolate milkshake?” I nodded. He glared at me, head cocked
isapproving mother staring at her misbehaving child. “Just go,” he said,
shaking his head.
The next morning, I told all my friends about my awkward encounter with
the law. I left out my uncomfortable choice. I made sure to cover up my internal
conflict. After all, I enjoyed being the wise guy who stuck it to the man. But the
more I told the story, the more I betrayed myself. I am not that person, nor will I
ever be. Whenever I tell the story now, I include my quandary for just that reaIt feels artificial if I leave it out. I can’t betray who I am. Besides, isn’t it commsense to be true to oneself?
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